Looking in the mirror now, I could see why everyone wanted to be me. Stunning, blonde, violet eyed Rosalie Hale. As I brushed my elbow length wavy hair, I could see why this façade was enticing. I had money, a nice car, and the perfect family.

I sighed and put on my cherry crush lipstick, and then walked downstairs, plastering a fake smile on my face, as was routine. My two little brothers John and Kevin were already eating bowls of cereal and my mother turned around from the pantry when she heard me enter.

'Ah, there's my senior baby!' she hugged me tightly and I tried not to gag on her too sweet perfume.

'Yep, that's me.'

I sat and tried to stuff down a half an orange. When my mother questioned this, I told her I was dieting, which she whole-heartedly supported, but I was really just excited to see my boyfriend Royce. I wanted to avoid another gushing episode on how perfect Royce is for me. I hadn't seen him all summer because his family escaped from this dreary hokey town, choosing instead to stay in a beautiful condo in the Bahamas.

I left soon after, deciding I was tired of listening to my mother rant about how this diet was a good thing. I know I'm not fat, and it was annoying being told I was. My perfect size two was a never a problem to maintain. I'm happy with myself.

I walked out into the pouring rain that was a regular occurrence in Forks, and got in my new red Mustang convertible, and drove to Forks high.

My car was one of the nicest in the lot, except for a nice silver Volvo and a red Jeep. I pulled in a few cars down and got out, pulling up my hood to block my curls from the mist.

I hurried to my first period Calculus class and found a good seat in the back. I got out my notebook and favorite blue pen and started doodling aimlessly, waiting for class to start.

There was a low murmur going around the room, and I was startled to see the entire class staring at me. I looked down and instinctively peeked behind me-

And let my jaw drop.

There was a huge boy sitting behind me, and I could see why everyone was staring. He had dark curly hair just long enough to run your fingers through…And his features were open, yet he spoke to no one. He was huge, at least 6'4, and I could see the hollows and contours of his musculature through his black Henley. I sighed and turned around. I had Royce, I reminded myself.

Mr. Mayson called the class to order then, and I was distracted for the rest of the period. Second period I had anatomy and when I walked in Royce was already stationed at a lab table. Unfortunately, Lauren Mallory was fawning over him, waving her freshly highlighted hair around her face. I scowled, walking right up to him and kissing his soft cheek, stating he was my territory.

I looked at her quickly, acting as if I hadn't seen her.

'Oh! Hi Lauren. Did you have a nice summer?' My voice was candy coated warning.

She smiled, catching on immediately. A glint appeared in her little ugly eye.

'It was great. Royce here,' she put a hand on his chest 'Was just telling me how much fun he had on Cable beach. Why didn't you go with him?' she asked innocently.

'I had to go to gymnastics camp. You know, teach some moves to the less privileged.' I shot her a glare that clearly meant she fell into that category in my book. Her smile faltered and she muttered something about saving a table for her and Tyler.

I beamed at Royce, who ran a hand through my hair. His hair was lighter than mine from the sun, and it was slightly longer than he usually kept it. He kissed me swiftly and then Mr. Schaeffer came in, and I noticed, sitting at the table in front of us, was the huge guy with the curly hair. He had a similarly pale blonde boy next to him, but they were polar opposites other than the paleness.

Mr. Schaeffer called the class to attention, handing out papers on lab rules. I was glad Royce was my partner because I didn't think my stomach could handle the smell of a formaldehyde-loaded fetus.

He explained what to do if you got dead thing juices in your eyes, and other such catastrophes. But I could hardly pay attention. Every once in a while, the big guy in front of me would look at the blonde and remark on something the teacher would say, his face breaking out in a remarkable, dimpled smile. I wanted to know his name. I wanted him to say mine…

I was snapped out o my reverie when Royce took my hand and started rubbing circles in my palm. I smiled and squeezed his. We had a summers worth of catching up to do, but this wasn't the place. I had truly missed him, and couldn't wait to be alone with him. I wanted to talk for hours and lay on his bed like we did last year. We used to have so much fun together, and I found myself praying he didn't change as much as I had. When that class was over, I went to history.

I sat, again, in the back.

I was surprised and oddly pleased when the dark haired guy sat in front of me. It wasn't much of a surprise that we had so many classes together, seeing as there were only three hundred students in all.

Mr. Henkerson, a young teacher with a bald spot, stood at the head of the class and started calling out groups of two.

When he got to me, I prayed I didn't get Jessica, who was glaring at me for not calling her all summer.

'Miss Hale, you'll be with Mr. Cullen.' Who?

I looked around, seeing no recognition from anyone. I was hoping it was the dark haired mystery boy, seeing as he was the only one in class I didn't know.

My accusations proved right when he turned around with a face blank of expression to talk about our research subject.

'Hi, I'm Rosalie. But you can call me Rose.' I babbled.

The corner of his mouth twitched.

'I'm Emmett Cullen.'

I beamed at him and he reluctantly smiled back, seeming not to be able to help it.

I noticed his eyes were rich butterscotch. He really was beautiful and much bigger now that he was closer to me. His forearm made two and a half of mine easily.

After our exchange, our conversation was strictly school related. I was sort of put out when he didn't try to ask me out, like every other male would in the tri-county area.

I went to lunch disappointed.

I got a bottle of water and sat next to Royce as he wolfed down a cheeseburger and fries. Watching him eat made me sick. Could he at least act civil? He acted like he had never eaten before and this was the only meal he was ever going to have. I pursed my lips and looked around for Emmett.

I found him across the cafeteria sitting with a group of four other people, all of them the same deathly pale. There was a pretty girl with long brown hair, and another small pixie girl. She was so cute I instantly wanted to dress her up. Along with Emmett, there were two other boys. One was the blonde from my anatomy class, and the other had his arm slung around the brunette, his hair was wild, and a weird bronze color.

I stared at them a while, assessing, before I focused on the conversation going on at my table.

'Yeah, they're all new.' Jessica was telling our table. 'Their names are Edward and Alice Mason, Jasper Whitlock, and Emmett and Bella Cullen. Their all adopted too.' She whispered, indicating which was which.

I looked back over to see the one Jess said was Alice looking at me in the most peculiar way. I quickly looked down, not that I was embarrassed, but I didn't want to be caught staring because I had a weird attraction to Emmett. They were all attractive, but Emmett had a thing about him that made me want to tell him everything, and have him reciprocate.

Royce never asked about me. Ever. He wouldn't be able to tell me 'Happy Birthday' on the right day if I hadn't programmed it into his phone. I sighed and peeked at Emmett again. He was laughing at something Bella was saying and it pierced me through the heart that I couldn't hear his laugh.

I turned my attention, once again, to my table that now seemed had little importance to me. I was normally all about keeping up appearances, but today I was off. My first day of my supposed awesome senior year was ruined by a boy I had only talked to for three minutes in my life.

Royce put his arm around my shoulders and kissed my cheek. I flushed.

'Come to my house tonight.' He murmured in my ear.

I smiled. 'Yeah. Sure. I'd love to.'

I drank my bottle of water as the beginnings of butterflies took flight in my stomach. They were for Royce, I told myself, making myself focus on him.

When the bell rang I hurried to Spanish. I was already quite fluent in Spanish, as well as French, but it was a requirement. An easy A in my book.

I claimed an empty two person table in the back and watched the door, hoping in vain that Emmett would come and sit by me.

I was pleased to see him come in with Edward and Bella. Edward shot Emmett an apologetic look and sat with Bella directly in front of me, leaving Emmet no other choice but to sit with me. This pissed me off extremely. I was Rosalie Hale. Boys didn't sit with me because they had no other option; they fought to sit with me. I didn't put up with all of this crap at home and use the energy to make me look perfect to have it unraveled this way. Emmet should jump at the chance to sit with me, I was definitely not something to regret being near like a person with the flu or something.

I decided at that moment that I didn't like Edward already. He had made me feel like a street wraith in less than two minutes flat.

I slumped in my seat and waited for class to begin.

While Edward and Bella whispered and giggled in front of us, Emmett sat next to me, stiff, with his arms crossed over his chest. I was still mad at them for acting like I wasn't one of the prettiest girls in school when an idea popped into my head.

'So, Emmet.' I started. He turned to me, surprised I was talking to him, it seemed. 'Are you coming to my house, or should I come to yours?' I asked, arching a brow challengingly.

He raised both of his. 'For what?' he asked.

'The history project, of course.' I said innocently. 'It is due next week, and I happen to know for a fact that the only thing Mr. Henkerson does is give projects. We might as well get used to being together all the time.' I smiled sweetly. Edward and Bella seemed to be laughing more now.

'Um, well, I-'

'Good.' I interrupted him. 'Meet me at my car after school tomorrow. You can follow me to my house.'

Just then, the bell rang, signaling the end of class. I stood and left the room, leaving Emmet's mouth gaping open. I smiled a secret victorious smile and went to gym, English, and then first aid. My classes without him had passed in a blur, and before I knew it I was standing by my car, getting ready to follow Royce home.

We drove the short distance to his house, which was only two miles from the bank his family owned and my Dad worked at. His house was very nice, but mine was much nicer. My Mother had a weird obsession for interior decorating. My house was out a long back road and had a huge back yard, fully equipped with the latest ridiculous play system for the boys. My favorite thing about the house was, of course, my room. My mother had it done in pretty blues so that my walls were light blue and my carpet was a navy color. My comforter is snow white, making it look like it belonged on a ship. But I absolutely love it. Blue is my favorite color. Which was another thing Royce never remembered.

I pulled into Royce's driveway and his parent's cars were gone. I got out and walked with him to his front door, and once inside he attacked my mouth hungrily. His hot breath meddled with mine and I put my hands on his cheeks. After a few minutes of making out and heavy petting, I found myself lying on my back on his couch, with him on top of me. His hand reached up my shirt and I gasped when I felt my nipple harden.

This was going too far. Everything felt so good, but he knew I wanted to wait for marriage. I pulled his hand out of my shirt and he started to work on his belt. I was trying not to think of his erection pressed against my left hip. I gasped louder when he wrapped my hand around him.

'Royce…' I started.

He looked up at my voice and saw the look I was giving him. He dropped his face into my neck.

'Please Rose? I want you so much, and we know we're going to get married. Why wait?'

He started kissing my neck, making it hard to think.

'Because I have a plan. If we have sex now then that just brings the option of babies much sooner, and if we had an accident…I don't want kids until I can afford them. I've told you before Royce. 'I shoved him one last time and he hissed as he adjusted himself into his pants.

'Right.' Bitter laugh. 'I forgot. We're waiting. For no reason.'

He did this all the time these days.

'Get your hormones in order Royce!' I snapped. 'When we're ready it'll happen.'

'Well I'm ready now!' he indicated to his still erect dick. 'I'm not a patient person Rose.' He yelled at me, and then left the room. I sighed and followed.

He was standing rigid at the sink, looking out his back window. I wrapped my arms around him, pressing my boobs into his back.

'At least wait until prom, baby.' I purred. His shoulders relaxed and he turned around, hugging me.

'God, I love you so much.' He said into my curls. It made me smile. 'How about homecoming?'

My smile disappeared. 'Okay.' I whispered.

I really didn't want to start having sex so early, but I would if it meant keeping him. I couldn't lose Royce.

'Is it okay with you if I order a pizza?' he asked.

'Mmm. Yeah. That sounds good.'

'Okay, Babe. I'll get you a salad.' He smiled and went to the phone hanging on the wall. So he thought I was fat too. Good to know.

I sighed and went into the living room and curled up in an easy chair. If Royce knew the real me, he'd run away screaming. He had no clue what I did in my spare time, and I had no intention of telling him.

No, if Royce knew I drank to forget my life for a few sweet hours of bliss, he would have me committed. As he would if he saw the scars on my arms and inner thighs. My mind flitted to the joint I had hidden in the cigarette pack in my old pair of Chucks in the back of my closet. I had the sudden craving to forgo the salad business and leave now.

But that's not what Perfect Rosalie would do, so I sat there and smiled like I was supposed to and ate my salad like a good girl.

I hated it. The lettuce was brown and he had ordered me poppy seed dressing because he thought it had fewer calories than ranch. I had thanked him and left soon after, claiming I had to baby sit.

Which was an outright lie. Kevin was ten now, so he'd be at a friend's house, and little four year old John would be at Mom's best friend's house, playing with her son. So when I got home I grabbed my cigarettes and a lighter and went out to my back yard and into the woods. I went to my usual rendezvous spot, a place where the trees made a U shape for me to sit in. The front of my little hidey-hold was covered in ferns that came to my waist, so I didn't worry about anyone seeing me.

I lit a cigarette first and breathed a sigh of relief after the usual dizziness took hold. Everyone else that I knew who smoked never felt this as far as I could tell, and I didn't know if it was because I didn't smoke all the time, or if it was some weird reaction.

Either way, I couldn't bring myself to care as I took in another sweet drag and blew it out above my head. My head was swimming, happy not to have to concentrate on being 'me'. I could just be when I was by myself.

I sat back against the tree and stretched out my feet as I lit my joint, marveling at how perfect it was. Nice and round just like a cigarette is, but the punch this thing packed knocked me on my ass every time.

I took a deep drag and blew the smoke out in front of me, delighted at the swirls of smoke. I breathed a sigh of relief before taking a few more drags and putting it out. I took my I-Pod out of my coat pocket and turned up Tool to full blast without putting the buds in my ears.

It's not enough

I need more

Nothing seems to satisfy

I just

I don't want it

I just need it

To breathe,

To feel,

To know I'm alive.

I sang along to the lyrics as I curled into a ball and cried a little. I never let myself break down anymore, because of the bad things that happen when I'm depressed. So I just let a few tears escape and then gave myself the classic pep talk before standing to go back to my house.

I smoked another cigarette on my way home and when I stumbled through the door no one was home. I decided to make myself a drink, and after I got my orange juice and Bacardi I went to my room to sleep.

I drank my entire drink as I walked up the steps and rinsed it out in the sink before I staggered into my room. I fell on the floor as soon as I got in, and by some force of God I got my door shut. I drug myself into bed and smiled as all of the stimulants in the alcohol and weed lulled me to sleep.

**&%&**

Okay. Here it is. Please tell me what you think. Did you like it? Was it shitty? Hell, tell me about your dog, at least it would be something.

--Marie

PS songs for this story are on my profile, and a sneak peak of Rose's Homecoming Dress is on there too, but alas, I'm just not sure who's she's going with. That Rose, she's a tricky person…