I had always known that I was unlike my parents. I looked at them and the pictures in my books and I questioned why I was so different. Mother always told me I was a blessing from God. She hadn't been able to have children of her own and she had prayed night and day for God to send her a child. Then from the rivers edge on a sunny day they found me. Wrapped in blanket and set a drift down the current. They thought I was the child of a water sprite washed away from my home and abandoned here. Thus they adopted me and raised me as their son.

I've so many memories that I've only just begun to understand.

I remember when I turned 6 and was so exited about starting school and meeting kids my own age, like I had read in one of Mother's books. She just smiled weakly as I packed up my backpack with snacks and my notebooks. It wasn't till later Father pulled me aside and told me I wouldn't be starting school like the other kids in the village down the road. A place that I'd heard about yet never seen. When I asked why Mother began to cry softly into her hands.

I remember the first time I ported as one of the most shocking. I'd wondered from home and got lost for hours. I'd just about given up when I heard a rustle among the near by bushes. "Father!" I called in relief .But instead of my father's warm smile I was faced with a head of dark gray fur and sharp teeth. It was one of the few wolves left near my village that hadn't been hunted down. I was so scared I just curled into a ball at the base of the tree and cried. I wanted to go home and hold Mother tightly and cry until I felt better. I was so startled when I opened my eyes again to find that I was home beside the fire and safe in Mother's arms. Mother whispered it was a miracle. I just cried in relief unaware what I'd done was far from being a miracle.

I remember that years later when I was about 8 I became very sick and mother and father couldn't help me, so I had to go see the village doctor. It was my first time anywhere outside my yard and even in my sick state I was happy and exited to see what the village was like with my own eyes. Mother had bundled me up tight and told me to keep my head low and not to make a sound. But I was to happy about seeing the village to really listen. We walked down the road to town quietly mother holding my left hand and father holding my right. When we reached the town I could only listen to the unknown sounds of the people bustling around me as father held my hooded head down.

We reached the doctors office quickly and Mother held me close as Father went to go talk to the doctor. I was happy even though the strong smell of cleaners hurt my sensitive nose. Finally Father came back looking slightly grim. He once again grabbed my hand and led me down a small hallway. I had to sit down on a cold table with a thin cover and wait for the doctor. When he came in Mother stiffened and held her breathe as she lifted my hood off my head. That's when the screaming started. The doctor paled horribly and collapsed onto the ground holding the cross around his neck. I couldn't understand why he was screaming and I wanted to make him feel better. So I showed him my pretty cross around my neck holding it out for him to see with my tail.

That's when I first heard the words I'd hear many more times in my life.

Monster

Freak

Demon.

I remember the first friend I ever made. Her name was Elizabeth and she was my cousin. Her mother had fallen sick and with her father unable to watch her while he was at work she was sent from her home halfway across the country to live with me and my parents. I was told to hide in the attic when she first arrived while my parents explained my "condition" to her.

I listen with my ears pressed to the door, able to hear them perfectly. They told her about how I'd been found and how my appearance maybe a tad shocking at first, but that I was harmless and was the same as any 10 year old my age. Other then the fur that is. I met her with much more fear and caution since my last encounter with other people. Echoes of the doctor's screams still haunted my dreams at night.

She was beautiful even by my limited standards of human appearance. She had the brightest green eyes and hair the color of blazing flames. I hid in the shadows when they first opened the door of my hiding place. I was afraid of her curious eyes and that she would reject me on sight. Instead she did the bravest thing I've ever seen. She walked directly into the shadows, straight to where my eyes shone in the faint light and kneeled before me as I crouched in the corner.

"Do not be afraid." She whispered in her accented German voice, her first language having been English.

And I wasn't. I reached out and grabbed her outstretched hand in my own three fingered one. She didn't flinch or let her expression change at all. She just smiled sweetly at me as she pulled me into the light.

"Do not be afraid my cousin. We shall be friends." She promised with only love and affection in her voice.

And we did. She became my best friend in the world. We were inseparable during her stay. She taught me everything she thought I would need to know to venture into the outside world. Greetings, manners, and social situations. Things my large collection of books couldn't teach me and what my parents were reluctant to. The thought of me being outside our home again terrified them and they thought that Elizabeth was only encouraging it. In return I kept no secrets from her and helped her with her German as she taught me English. I told her I would probably never use the language, but she said it couldn't hurt to learn. I shared with her all my books and treasures, even my ability to port anywhere within a mile. She thought my powers were amazing, though she didn't think I was the child of a water sprite like my parents did. (Especially because I couldn't swim at all.) She thought I was a demon too good for hell and sent to Earth to earn my place in the heavens.

She was a very educated girl, having been sent to many private schools and having tutors at her home constantly. That was how we were lead to a conversation that made me realize something I never knew about myself. She had been talking about how she had feelings for her math tutor and I had mentioned I really liked the picture of the frog prince in one of my books. Elizabeth called it being gay. A word not in my dictionary or my books. She said it was because I was more physically attracted to boys then to girls like her. I had never seen a live boy before, but I had always been more captivated by the boy characters then the girls. The picture made my stomach flutter and my face heat up. She called that a crush. To have a strong attraction for another person beyond friendship. I was happy to know more…………… Until she explained prejudice to me. I was so mad at myself for having made another reason for people to hate me, but at the same time unable to make myself stop thinking the frog prince was much more appealing then the princess.

I remember when it came time for Elizabeth to finally leave that I was heart broken. I didn't think I could go back to not having anyone to talk to other then my parents. To lose the one friend I'd ever had. Elizabeth took it better then I did. She gave me her phone number and address so we could keep in contact with each other. She hugged me one last time before she left and made one last promise to me.

"You will see the world, you will make other friends, and you will know the love of someone dear to you. This I promise you my cousin." She said with a certainty I had only ever read about in books involving fortunetellers.

I never asked how she knew those things, but I like to think my cousin had a gift of her own up her sleeve.

I remember the fulfillment of her promise came in the form of a knock on my door five years later when I was 15. Visitors were uncommon at my home high in the mountains and the moment I heard it I went to my usual hiding place in the attic.

Mother welcomed him cautiously and allowed him to come inside. He was bald and wearing a brown suit with a black under shirt. He was in a strange chair device I had read was called a wheelchair. I knew he probably couldn't walk.

Mother moved a chair away from the dinner able and offered tea as Father came in and greeted our guest. He introduced himself and Mother stiffly.

With Mother's freshly brewed tea in hand the man began to explain his reason for coming.

"I'm sorry to intrude without warning like this but I was unable to send word ahead of time. My name is Professor Charles Xavier and I'm the founder of a special school in America. A school that would very much like to include your son among its roster."

I watched Mother's eyes widen threw the hole in the ceiling where I was watching them. Father's voice was firm and convincing.

"I'm sorry to say your journey was in vain Mr. Xavier. My wife is barren and unable to produce children. We have no son I'm afraid."

Father denying my existence hurt a little but I knew it was necessary.

Professor Xavier seemed unfazed by my Father's words.

"Yes I can see why you would rather people would not know about your son's condition Mr. Wagner, but I assure you I am very well aware of the differences between your child and others. I myself am gifted with abilities that I would rather were kept hidden from the world. At least until the day that that humans are more welcome of our kind so we can co existing with them openly.

"Your kind?" My mother questioned softly, looking at Father unsure.

"Yes I was able to find Kurt because he carries what is known as the X-Gene. It's a gene born into random children all over the world that gives them abilities or traits different from humans like you and your husband. Some traits are unseen at first glance, like my own power, while others like your son's are very apparent. We are more oftenly called mutants though.

My school was made in the hopes that one day people like your son wouldn't have to hide. I have designed an environment that will allow your son to learn to use his powers to the fullest and meet others like himself. Other mutants that have already come to live at my school."

Professor Xavier held out a picture to my parents, who were still shell shocked from his words. It was a picture of a large building that looked to be as big as any boarding house I had ever read about. Standing in the front of the building were several other people along side the Professor. One woman with snow white hair and dark skin held a mini rain cloud in her hands. She smiled sweetly at the camera and looked very welcoming. Another man with blue hued hair had three metal blades protruding from each of his hands, looking like he didn't like who ever was taking the picture. A girl with deep red hair was levitating a boy with red shade at the top of the picture, both looking like they were having fun. The Professor sat in the middle of the group, looking very pleased and proud of the people around him. It could have passed as a family photo if the people didn't look so different and their gifts so unusual.

Mother took the picture first and held it in her hands as thought she was trying to place me somewhere among the set of smiling faces. Father wasn't as convinced.

"How do we know this isn't a fake picture and you're just after our son to use him for your own purposes? How do we know this school of yours even exists? You said you had a gift as well, show us and we might believe you."

The Professor looked like he expected this reaction and just smiled at my parents.

"If it would put your fears at rest I'll be happy to demonstrate my gift to you all."

The Professor closed his eyes and a focused look came over his face.

"Mr. Wagner you're wondering how I came to know the existence of your son and if your niece Elizabeth had something to do with it. Mrs. Wagner you're more believing then your husband that I mean your family no harm. You know I only wish to offer your son a place in this world."

He tilted his head up and looked directly at where I was watching from the hole in the ceiling.

"Kurt is afraid that I've come to take him away from you and never let him come back, but at the same time intrigued at the thought of seeing the world outside his home and meeting people like himself. To use the things his cousin taught him."

Almost like an after thought he mentioned.

"Also he'd like to know if he can come down and be a part of the discussion."

Mother wrung her hands in her skirt and sent a worried glance at Father. She looked nervous now. Father nodded his head towards the ceiling as a sign I could come down. I ported down in front of him with my eyes closed, so afraid of he was going to scream. When I opened them he just smiled at me.

"It's nice to meet face to face Kurt. What do think about the thought of coming to stay at my school?"

My first thought was that it sounded like a dream come true. A school with people like me, people with powers and abilities like my own. He spoke of his dream to show the world that mutants and humans could coexist by proving we were no different on the inside like he honestly thought it was possible. He even offered me a place there, a place to meet other mutants and learn to use my powers to the fullest. A chance to leave my home and travel to America with him. I was exhilarated as well as scared. I had never gone farther then the village and that had been a disaster. What would it be like there?

"I can see why you might be afraid to send Kurt with me but I assure you he'll be provided with the utmost care. I have made this offer to many other mutants across the world and found many need time to think about it. My offer has no limit or expiration to it. You're welcome to come today, tomorrow, or 10 years from now. I'll pay all the expenses, set up all the papers, and I charge no tuition or fees."

"Then what do you get out of this? How do you benefit having our son at your school?" Father asked a mix of suspicion and curiosity in his voice.

The Professor seemed to pause a moment for the first time since he arrived.

"I was alone when I first discovered my power, as are many of the children born with powers this generation. Some are a danger not only to themselves, but to others as well. Some have a hard time dealing with their powers and need someone who has gone threw the same things they have. It is hard for some, people like your son, to blend in enough to live in the normal word day by day. My only wish is to make their lives a little easier anyway I can. I wish I'd had someone in my own youth who knew what I was going threw and I'd like to be that person to a youth now. My school is a message and a symbol to mutants everywhere. That they are not alone. It's a place to turn to if they are ever in need of help. Not all of the mutants I've contacted have come or even stayed long at my school. Others while they don't live there keep in contact and visit now and again."

The professor pointed to the man in the picture with blue hair.

"This is my friend Logan. One of the first to help me build my school. He has special healing abilities that gave the government reason to experiment on him years ago, resulting in the now metal skeleton and blades he wields today. He has permanent residency at my school but enjoys traveling across the country when ever the urge hits him."

He pointed to the white haired women next.

"Ororo's parents were killed at a young age and she became a pickpocket to survive. Later on she was welcomed by a tribe of natives and worshipped for her powers. She joined my school knowing she could do better work here with other young mutants. Her powers over the weather took many years to master completely so she could control them at will. Should other mutants like her appear her skills would be a tremendous help to them. While your son seems to have no such trouble controlling his powers he is still limited as to where he can venture.

My school is small at the moment, but growing. More and more children are born with the mutant gene every year and one taught child can teach a whole generation. Kurt would not have to hide among our students and would be free to return home at anytime. My school is not a prison and I will on no way force you to come. If you wish to remain here I understand, but I feel like everyone deserves to know there are other options. I will not tell others of your home or powers if you do not wish it so, but if you do decide you'd like to at least visit my school you are more then welcome."

The Professor pulled out a small business card that read "Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters" and handed it to Mother with a soft smile.

"Whatever you decide I wish you well."

With that he was gone, rolling down the path back to the village. Our family was silent for a long time as we stood shocked at what we'd learned. I had never expected to have other options. I never even hoped for anything better. I had accepted this was my life, that it was never going to change. I would live the rest of my life here and die in this house. I had never dreamed there were others like me. A place where I could be accepted. But this man, this Charles Xavier, was offering me such a place. It seemed unreal.

"He's going." My Mother said bluntly, walking into the closet and pulling out two duffle bags.

Both my Father and I looked at her like she was mad. My Mother had never said something with such certainty before. She usually let Father make all the big decisions.

"Martha you can't be serious. We know nothing about this man or his school! He could just as easily be lying to us to get to Kurt!"

"Or he could be offering us something we can't refuse!"

"This is our son's future we're talking about!"

Mother turned and glared at him with tear filled eyes.

"What kind of future does he have here David?! He can't have friends or go to town! What would happen if we died David!? Is he just supposed to go to town and get supplies or would you prefer he goes and lives in the forest!? Don't you think he deserves the chance to go to school, have dates, and start a family!? We can't keep him here when we know there's something better out there for him! Not now that we know….."

She looked at me with brimming eyes and I could see this was something she'd been waiting for. The chance to let me live the life she always wanted for me. She hugged me so tight it almost hurt and I didn't care.

"You weren't born to spend the rest of your life hiding here. I won't allow it."

So it was decided. I was leaving home for the first time. My only prayer was that I'd get to come back.

I remember my arrival as being both exhilarating and frightful. I felt so utterly alone amongst the hustle and bustle of the crowd around me. The only thing that kept me from bolting was the fact I didn't have enough money to get me all the way back home, let alone the influence to make them let me though the airport again with out searching my clothes. A million doubts ran through my head and I was sure this whole thing had been a joke to get me out into the open. To this day I'm not sure what I would have done if the Professor hadn't rolled up to me right then and welcomed me to his country. The rest of the way there was a blur as I asked question after question about my new home. Ororo, AKA, Storm was overjoyed to answer my questions and said that she'd been just as excited when the Professor had brought her here from her own country. She even showed me her little cloud trick in her hands and I was so relieved to see she was at least a little like me. When we arrived at the Institute I was overwhelmed by the size of it. It was just like the picture, but even more impressive. I remember so clearly what the Professor said to me right then.

"Welcome home Kurt."

And for a moment I felt he was right. I would make this place my home. In a way I never could back in Germany. No matter how much I loved it there and no matter how much I loved my parents, it had still been a kind of prison. A place where I was always hiding, always afraid of discovery. Here, I would blend, I would be able to make a real life. I could feel it in every ounce of my being. I would start over here. I would make this place my home. Just like Elizabeth had promised.

I met the two teens in the picture and learned they were like me too. They even had trouble with their powers, something that had come so naturally to me. It made me feel almost proud of myself. But that was only the first of the surprises the Professor had planned for me. When he and Storm showed me my room I was so happy. It was so big and open, yet it made me feel uneasy. There was no good place to hide and it made me nervous. I voiced this concern to the Professor and he gave me a gift. Something I could never thank him enough for.

A watch, but not just any watch. A watch that made me look normal. Like the person I was on the inside, instead of the monster people saw on the outside. I'd never dreamed of such a creation, never hoped for more then a class inside the institute with those who could not attend school. But this was answer to my prayers. I could go to school, I could make friends, and I could date without scaring people away.

But I'd had no idea that I'd actually meet the person I would one day date that night. He was just a picture on a screen the first time I saw him. A boy that the Professor had found the same way he'd found me. He told me the boys name and my first though was that I'd like to meet him. My second was that he was really cute. I never imagined our meeting would begin with the two of us chasing each other around on the ceiling. It felt so good knowing someone could do the things I could do and even the name calling had a sweet ring to it. When the Professor said Todd had the X-gene and was welcome at the institute too, I was overjoyed.

Then I messed everything up. When Todd grabbed me I freaked and ported without a thought. It was my first reaction to being grabbed so suddenly. I wasn't focusing on where I wanted to be, so the location was completely random. It was just my luck that I picked the one place in the institute with automated defense systems. I nearly got the boy of my dreams killed, it was no wonder he didn't stay. I ruined his chances of ever coming over to our side, I doomed him staying with the brotherhood. I never forgave myself for that. Even years later when the two of us became friends I still regretted what I did that night. He said he wouldn't have accepted the Professor's offer anyway, but I have to wonder if things had been different…..Would we have been friends from the start?

Todd says the past can't be changed. He says no matter what path he took to get where he is today it was the right one, because it lead him to me. I always told him the moment after the war when he kissed me was the moment I'd been waiting for. Everything just clicked. The memories we had were not something we looked back on fondly. But the memories we've made since then have made all we've endured worth it.

In Todd I found the prince I was always waiting for.

Todd's P.O.V

I never try to think about my past more then I absolutely have to. But sometimes, late at night I dream of the life I lead before. Back before I was Todd Tolensky. I used to be Todd Trovolt. I had a mom and a dad. I had a home and a room all to myself. Clean clothes and good food. I was spoiled. I knew that. I was their only child, the one that would carry on the family line and take over the family business. That was always the plan. I was healthy, I was smart, and despite how I look now I was cute. I suppose any 5 year old would be.

But then again I wasn't your ordinary 5 year old. I remember the first time I started to show signs of my powers was a little after my fifth birthday. I had gotten a mini remote control helicopter and had been flying it around my room. I wasn't paying attention and it ending up getting caught on the overhead light. I was far too small to reach it and Mama was sleeping so I just kept trying to jump up and get it. I was so focused I didn't realize I shouldn't have been able to graze the ceiling with my fingers. I didn't notice, I was too focused on getting my helicopter to care about how I was doing what I was. By the time Mum came into my room to check on me I was sitting in the middle of the overhead light, swinging on it like a swing set. She screamed and fussed, telling me to stop swaying or I would fall. I didn't like Mama's distress and got down the same way I'd gotten up. I jumped fluidly from the light to the floor. I didn't expect her reaction to be so……frightening. The moment my feet touched shag she was on the floor in a dead faint. I called Papa on speed dial and he came rushing home. He woke Mama up and she screamed about how she'd dreamed I was literally jumping off the walls. Papa calmed her down and assured her it had just been a dream. I remember his argument exactly.

"What kind of little boy can jump to the ceiling? Only freaks could do something like that."

That was the first, but not the last time I was ever called a freak. I didn't tell a soul about my skill for jumping and hoped it would go away on its own. I didn't want to be a freak. So I pretend that it had been a dream and that I couldn't jump any more then the average child. I thought that would be the end of it.

Until the next time I noticed a difference.

I took many classes as a kid, more so then the average child. One of my many after school courses was swimming. I loved swimming. They didn't even have to teach me. I touched the water and it was like stepping into my element. I could swim at a speed my instructors were jealous of. It was like I'd been built for the water. At first I loved it. It made my parents proud to say their son was the fastest swimmer in his class. They even installed a pool in the backyard. I spent night and day in that pool, enjoying the exercise I so rarely got. I grew and people began to notice my differences.

"Look at Todd." They said with snickers.

"Kid looks like his legs are on steroids!" They teased.

They were right though. My legs were the most disproportional part of me. They rest was slim and gangly for a child my age, while my legs had such power jumping onto the roof was a breeze. It scared me a little, why couldn't the other kids do what I could? Why was I so different?

I would come to remember that time of my life as the happiest, despite the teasing and worry. Mama and Papa hadn't noticed I was different. They didn't call me names and that was what mattered to me. I just wanted them to be proud. As long as they were nothing else mattered.

But something like this couldn't stay a secret long.

Soon my skin lost the healthy glow of childhood and turned into a sickly yellow-green. Bags appeared beneath my eyes and I had a constant ache in every part of my body. I was changing more and more everyday and my parents began to notice. They though it was growing pains and that I was just going through a faze. I couldn't tell them that my teeth began being coated with something I couldn't brush off or that I could touch my toes with my tongue. The only place I felt at peace during those times was in the family pool. It didn't hurt in the pool like it did when I had to bathe. Soap stung every place it touched and made me so sick I had to coat myself in deodorant so my parents didn't notice the smell. I was careless in the pool. It was eventually the place I got caught by Papa.

I was roughly 10 years old at the time and my parents had left me home alone. It was hot and the evening was far too humid for late July. I slipped into the pool, glad for the relief from the heat. I stayed under the water for a long time just because I could. I timed myself once and found I could stay under as long as 20 minutes without straining myself. So that's what I did. I laid at the bottom of the pool and looked at the blurry stars through the water. Everything had a yellow shade to it due to the second set of eyelids that came out when I got in water. It was peaceful and my body didn't ache as much. I wanted to stay like that forever, but my stomach gave a growl in protest and I surfaced to find some food. I hadn't eaten since that morning and I was ravenous. I had the strangest craving for something I couldn't name and nothing in the refrigerator seemed appealing. I sat at the edge of the pool and watched the last of the mosquitoes swirl around the back porch light. It was a random mesmerizing dance that felt impossible to look away from.

What happened next was as shocking to me as it was to my papa, who had just arrived home and was coming to offer me a snack. Without warning my tongue shot out of my mouth and stuck to one, bringing it back to my mouth before I could even blink. I was so shocked I swallowed without thinking and felt the bug go right down my throat. It had an odd metallic taste to it that satisfied the strange food craving in the pit of my stomach. Papa yelled for a long time after that. Random screams of 'No son of mine!' and 'Get doctor Beeman on the phone!' filled the house late into the night. I was afraid of my Papa for the first time in my life and my only hope was that he wouldn't realize I was one of the very creatures he talked about being rounded up and killed before they could breed more. As I watched him pace across the room angrily, Mama wrapped her arms around my chest from behind in an attempt to comfort me. I leaned against her and listened to her heart beat. She always said it beat just for me. For her little boy. As long as I could hear it I thought everything would be okay.

My life from that day on was never the same. Mama and Papa pulled me out of school and sent me from doctor to doctor in hopes that one of them could make me back to the normal little boy they used to have. Eventually I was sent to stay long term at a hospital miles away from my home for testing.

My memories of my childhood are laced with the sting of needles and was bitter with the powdery taste of pills after that. Where the green walls of my bedroom should have been, there was the sterile whites and tans of hospital rooms. Where Mama should have been to comfort me, there was only the cold smiles of nurses. Doctors muttered and pointed with unfeeling complicated words before sending me for more tests. The faces of my family and friends filtered through the haze the medicine caused and became little more then pleasant dreams in my living nightmare. Soon they disappeared all together as my so called 'disease' became more apparent. In a fit of fear I had jumped to the ceiling and clung there to get out of the reach of the nurses and that began a whole new set of testing. The nurses whispered sugary words of reassurance into my all too willing ears and promised one day I'd be normal. I was always one more drug or treatment from being 'normal'.

In the next two years the faces of the hospital nurses became more familiar then my seldom seen Mama. Papa was always away on some trip and I'd lost track of the months since he'd last come to see me. Then suddenly out of the blue there was Mama, sitting on the chair next to my bed saying how much I'd grown, like I was a seldom seen cousin instead of her son. She had brought with her some of my favorite candy that they wouldn't give me in the hospital and a few of my things that hadn't already been crammed into my hospital room.

Her belly was large and round, like the people I always saw in the maternity ward. Mama and Papa had been trying to have another baby for years now and I was happy to know I would soon be an older brother. She stayed with me through the day and I was so happy I never noticed how her smile faltered whenever I spoke of going home. When visiting hours were over Mama had held me close and I listen to her beating heart for a long moment. Instead of just the familiar beat I was so fond of I heard my little sister's heart as well. It was strong and fast and I loved her without ever having laid my eyes on her. I though Mama's heart wasn't just beating for me anymore, it was beating for her too.

It wasn't until the next day that I heard the nurses mumbling about how the toad boy's mother had given him over to the state. I knew right away who they were talking about and I felt something cold settle in the pit of my stomach, followed by hot denial. The nurses loved to gossip and it wasn't unlike them to make these kinds of things up. That's what I wanted to believe anyway. But that night I couldn't help but look at the walls of my room in shock.

Everything was there. Every toy and book I owned was crammed into the too tiny room. I couldn't stop myself from thinking about what that meant. If everything was here……what was in my room back home? Did I still have a room? I knew I'd never be able to fall asleep until I knew for certain, so for the first time in two years I grabbed some of my old clothes and left the hospital. I was very careful and slipped out with a large group of students who had come to play with the sick children. I still knew the way to my house from the hospital from all my trips there the first few months, even though it was harder to find in the darkness and rain. I was drenched by the time I got there and exhausted from miles of walking. The sound of lightning drowned out my feeble knocking and I didn't have another way in. I was shivering like a leaf and hoped I could get in through my bedroom window. I was just tall enough to peek inside without jumping and what I saw made my heart skip a beat. The light green walls of my childhood had been replaced by a girly pink and where my bed had once stood there was a white lacey cradle. A lump settled in my throat and I shook my head wildly in denial. My room was the biggest and best in the house; of course they would give it to my new sister and move me.

I would have left feeling contented with my assumption if the light from the parlor hadn't caught my attention. The thought of seeing Mama or Papa again before I left was enough to make me turn around and stretch to glance inside.

Sometimes I wish I had just walked away. I wish that I had never left the hospital and continued living in my own little naïve bubble. But I did stay and I saw what I had been too blind to see before.

Instead of seeing Mama sitting next to the fire place reading I found her surrounded by a large group of chattering women. It was only then that I noticed the large amount of parked cars outside my home. Mama's friends were gushing over her large belly and I guessed it was her baby shower from the large assortment of baby clothes on the table. Mama had tea out and I could hear her and her friends discussing baby names.

"Morgan?"

"Jenna?"

"Sara?"

They suggested in giggling whispers.

One older woman sat near Mama and she had a far off look in her eyes. Without warning the older woman asked a question that silenced the younger girls.

"What was the name of your first child Susan? The one that died."

My blood felt like ice in my veins and I wanted so desperately to run, but it was like my feet were bolted to the ground.

The murmur of names was halted as the rest of the group turned to glare at the woman.

Mama stared at her belly, oblivious to the rest of the group's silence, before muttering under her breath.

"Todd."

The woman nodded in acknowledgment and seemed to recall me a little.

"Yes, how long has it been Susan? One? Two years since the poor thing died? Nothing hereditary I hope."

Mama paled and clutched her stomach.

"This time will be different. This time she'll be healthy, and happy, and…….."

She didn't finish her sentence and I didn't need her to.

This time her child would be normal.

Not like me with my long tongue and webbed fingers.

All that time I'd blamed my illness on our separation, but now I saw the truth.

She was ashamed.

Embarrassed to the point she had claimed I was dead.

Today had been her final goodbye to a child she'd already buried. A child whose tombstone had already risen.

I walked away. I didn't have a plan or thought to where I was going. I just knew that no matter what I wasn't coming back. Todd Trovolt was finally what his family wanted him to be.

Gone.

I spent two years on the street after that. Taking on the new name of Tolensky. I had picked it at random from a phone book and from that day on it was my name. I felt it was fitting; Todd Trovolt had been a good boy who loved to please people. Todd Tolensky was a bad boy who did what he had to survive outside the system. I lived from day to day without a though about the future. I was the first of the Brotherhood to come live in Bayville and come to stay at the Brotherhood house. It became my home, the Brotherhood became my family, and although I didn't realize it at the time, it was there I found my future. It was there I found Kurt.

I never expected to come and love Blueboy. Sure I was interested in how he was so similar to me, but I'd never considered myself gay. But I had spent most of my puberty in a hospital with only ancient old men as company. I hadn't really had a chance to figure out which I preferred. I have to admit that he had a certain appeal. I didn't admit it to myself for many years though. I tried going out with any girl who would have me and a lot I knew who wouldn't. I don't know what I would have done if any of them had said yes, but I don't think it would have lasted long.

Subconsciously I was drawn to him. He brought back a feeling I hadn't felt in years. A feeling like I wanted him to be close. I wanted it that feeling bad, but I didn't know how to react to it. So I did what had come natural to me since I'd started living on my own. I fought, I insulted, and I left marks of my affections in the form of bruises and cuts. It was a confusing mess of feelings and I wasn't used to feeling things I wasn't familiar with. I was glad when the war sent him away from Bayville, even though the though of him fighting some of the mutants I'd met terrified me. When I saw him again after so many years it brought back every single feeling I'd ever had for him. So I dealt with it the best way I knew. Quickly and without thought.

I kissed him.

At exactly 18 years old I finally got my first kiss that wasn't followed with bloodshed.

I hadn't seen him in years and he'd grown in the most delicious way. I knew he'd been fighting for Xavier's cause since the war started 4 years ago and I was so happy to see him alive I was almost dizzy with relief. Parties were still going on after the final defeat of Magneto and his group. (An organization I was grateful to be out of.) And he was out in the streets, as proud and blue as the day I'd last seen him. I saw some of the remaining X-men dancing on an improvised dance floor in the middle of a parking lot. There were more mutants there then I thought existed and the only one I had eyes for was hiding in a dark corner by himself. He seemed to be the only one not celebrating and I knew he was probably still in mourning over his fallen comrades. So few people wanted to ruin the festive mood to discuss those who had fallen and Fuzzy always been too empathic for his own good. I wanted to comfort him. The urge was the strongest thing I'd felt in years and I decided right then and there Fuzzy was going to have one more friend to replace his old ones.

I approached him warily and he sensed me long before he saw me. Years of war seemed to have sharpened his senses to a much higher degree since the last time we'd met. His golden eyes regarded me with curious intensity and I hoped he'd recognized me after all these years. The war had affected me indirectly, even though I had never taken sides in the actual battles. I had grown physically strong over the course of the last few years and had developed a torso that matched my inhumanly strong legs. If it wasn't a random human against mutants attack, it was a mutant that thought I was with the other side that drew me into the fights that had once plagued the streets. My hair had grown long and straightened out since we'd last met and I had most of it pulled back into a short ponytail. I wasn't the gangly little teenager I once was and I wasn't too proud to admit that I was the one getting asked out now a days instead of the other way around. He'd grown as well and I let my eyes rake over his body without a hint of shame. He'd grown a little taller and his fur seemed to have darkened and become more coarse looking in the past few years. His hair had been cut in a way that reminded me of Remy with more hair along the edges. His features still had the same elfish appearance that I'd fallen for and I was glad when he sent me his customary fanged grin.

He raised an eyebrow and shifted out of the shadows more to get a better look at me.

"Todd Tolensky?" He asked uncertainly.

I sat down next to him on a large crate abandoned there years and flashed him a grin.

"The one and only."

His features became amused and I was glad to have distracted him from his mopping.

"Been a while hasn't it Fuzzy?"

He seemed shocked by something for a moment and then gave a wistful laugh.

"No ones called me that in years. It's nice to know some things haven't changed."

He gave me an appraising look before tilting his head at a cute angle.

"You've certainly changed."

"Is that a complement or an insult?" I asked half jokingly.

Kurt chuckled softly to himself and gave me a suggestive wink.

"Defiantly a complement."

Fuzzy had always been a flirt, but it had never been directed at me before and I was caught off guard by it.

I blushed under his softened gaze and tried to hide it by turning to stare at the crowd.

"I haven't seen this many mutant together in years. It's nice to see everyone out in the open. If this wars done nothing its let mutants not have to hide anymore. Everybody knows about us now, maybe things can get better from here."

He looked surprised at my hope and told me so.

"I never figured you to be so…….optimistic Todd. You never were before."

I was caught between scowling from what he'd said and blushing fro the use of my real name.

"Time changes people Fuzzy. You aren't exactly the same fuzz ball you were when we when we were in high school either."

Kurt gave me a wistful looking smile at my comment.

"Guess you're right, we certainly have changed."

He seemed disheartened and I had the overwhelming urge to comfort him.

"That's not necessarily a bad thing Fuzzy." I admitted softly.

"Sometimes things change for the better. You and I never would have just sat and talked without fighting each other before…………… I happen to like this particular change."

Kurt's smile was hard to see in the darkness, but I knew it was there.

"I bet we could have been good friends under different circumstances. It would have been nice to have someone to talk to back then."

I hadn't expected him to say anything like that, but it encouraged me enough to make my offer. I wanted Kurt in my life again and I'd be dammed before I let him leave without knowing where things could have gone from here.

"I don't see any reason we couldn't be friends now Fuzzy." I muttered tentatively, overly aware I was blushing like crazy.

Kurt looked at me like that though had never crossed his mind and I felt myself backtracking over my words.

"I mean we can't change what we did before, but maybe we could……Maybe we could start over? We didn't exactly meet on the best of terms………"

I couldn't even bear to look at Kurt I was so embarrassed. What if he said no? What if he was only being nice because of the fact he didn't want to fight right now? What was stopping him from going back to old habits and beaten the crap out of me? Technically we beat the crap out of each other in the old days, but I don't know if I had it in me to do that to him now.

Kurt's voice was little over a whisper when he answered.

"I'd like that."

I did a double take.

"What?" I muttered stupidly.

"I'd like to start over." He said quieter then the first time.

I gave him my most winning grin and held my hand out to him.

"My names Todd Tolensky, it's nice to meet you."

He looked confused for a second, but caught on quickly.

In a much more hesitant manner Kurt held his hand out and grasped mine firmly.

"I'm Kurt Wagner and it's very nice to meet you."

I blushed at the emphasis of the word and wished like crazy I could read his cryptic expression.

I gave his hand a firm squeeze and stared at our conjoined fingers. Had there ever been a handshake like ours before?

I figured it was now or never and gathered up all my courage.

"So Kurt Wagner, doing anything when the parties finally die down? Got any plans for the future?"

Kurt's expression darkened a shade and I regretted bringing up such a bad topic.

"I don't know. The institute's gone. I don't think they'll let any mutants into the schools again. I guess from here I'm on my own."

God he sounded heartbroken.

I grabbed his arm and forced him to look right at me.

"Dude you ain't alone. You got the rest of the X-geeks, you've got your family, and whether you want it or not…….. You've got me. Todd Tolensky is nothing if not loyal."

My eyes drifted to the floor to avoid the way his were drilling into me.

"You were right about what you said before. We could have been friends from the start Fuzzy. But we can't change that now. We can only make a future worth living today. What better way to honor those who didn't make it by living out the life they were fighting for people like us to have? I lost more then my fair share of friends due to this war too. Your friends wouldn't want you to feel alone Fuzzy….I don't want you to feel alone. I only asked what you were doing after this so you know whatever it is I'm going to be apart of it. I'm just sorry I played the part of rival all those years when I could have been friend."

Kurt was still looking at me with those eyes that made the truth slip out of me at the worst times.

What was going on inside that head of his was beyond me, but I at least hoped I'd gotten my message across. He wasn't alone. He had me, and it was going to a lot more then a few good kicks to change that.

With a soft contemplating look Kurt gazed at me, like he was suddenly seeing something that wasn't there before.

"I was wrong." He muttered softly.

Immediately my head was filled with doubts and self loathing for believing for a second that Kurt would ever accept me, let alone like me. He didn't want me there; I didn't belong in his life. I never had.

"I was wrong before, you were always my friend Todd. You gave me nicknames, you challenged me, you probably touched me more a month then all the people in the institute together, and you were never afraid. From the moment we met you never showed a hint of fear because of how I looked. No one had ever done that before. …….We were friends……We just didn't know it."

It was like something had clicked into place at that moment. The missing piece of a puzzle that was you never thought you'd finish. We had been friends. When ever I felt pushed to the edge he was the one I went to, if only to fight and let off some steam. He had done the same in his own way. The hatred of hiding what he was, the anger of being different, and the push we gave each other made it seem so easy to just let it out with an insult or punch. It was only after he had gone that I knew how true it was. I had craved the insults and rivalry the same way a person craved a drug or alcohol. I had craved the thing most denied to me.

Not being normal, not having a family, but him.

I had wanted him. As anything. I had accepted rival cause I hadn't hoped for better.

Now he had given me a reason to hope.

"I know." I admitted, ignoring his shocked look.

"That's why when you were gone….." I muttered pitifully, watching his ears twitch at the change of tone.

"After you left Fuzzy…….I missed you. I missed the certainty that if life got too hard I could always take it out on you. I could always just jump over that stupid wall and be on your balcony. I missed the way you matched my powers and even though didn't have to, you still treated me like I was worth something, like I was worth fighting, like I was worth getting upset about. Even when I made your life hell. I missed seeing you, the real you. The one that until this stupid war, you had to hide behind that stupid watch. The one sitting next to me and making me feel things I've tried to deny since day one. Don't hate me for this Fuzzy. I just feel like you should know."

He was too shocked to realize what I was going to do and if I actual gave it any real thought I knew I would back out.

So before the universe could throw a wrench into my nonexistent plan I pressed my lips to his, tasting something that filled a craving much more powerful then that of flies.

My arms were around his neck in an instant and I braced myself for the feeling of pain that always followed when I kissed someone. I expected one sharp jolt of it followed by enough yelling to make me go deaf.

Then out of the blue it was like my whole world was turned upside down. I would have been less surprised if Magneto had risen from the grave and decided that humans were the superior species. That's how surprised I was when Kurt didn't push me away, but…..Instead he kissed me back.

His golden eyes closed in what I could only describe as contentment and mine slowly followed. I didn't need to see to know who I was kissing. I felt the sharpness of his fangs press against my lips and the feel of fur between my fingers felt too real for me to have imagined it. I felt his tongue asking for entrance and I gave it without hesitation. I would have given him anything he asked.

Finally air became a necessity and I had to force myself to wrench my fingers from his hair. His own hands slid around my waist followed by his remarkable tail encircling my thigh.

When our breathing finally evened out I kept my head down and refused to look at him. It wasn't until he tilted my head up that he spoke.

"Look at me Todd." He command, his voice giving nothing away.

It took every ounce of my will power to open my eyes and meet his piecing gaze.

"Why did you do that?" He asked calmly.

I felt like a deer caught in headlight and bolted to the ground.

I had to swallow back bile as the realization of what I'd had done set in.

But he'd…….He'd……

"You kissed me back……" I gasped in amazement.

He had. I hadn't imagined that.

"What did you expected me to do?" He asked curiously.

"About anything, but that." I admitted.

His tail's grip on my thigh tightened slightly and pulled me closer.

"I don't mind this change in our routine." He confessed.

"You don't?"

"Nein. Not when I missed you just as much. Not when out of everyone I thought I'd lost I wished for you to be safe the most. Had you not kissed me, I would have eventually kissed you anyway. You have no idea how much I wanted to do that the moment you walked over."

His cheeks flushed the gentlest of violets and I knew that he was as embarrassed to admit that as I had been to confess to him.

I leaned closer to him until I could feel him trembling at how near I was.

"I can imagine." I whispered back, grateful that over the last two years he hadn't grown taller then me.

If he had been I might not have been able to grab him by his hair and kiss with all the lust that had accumulated since the moment I'd literally blown into his life.

His tail was like a vice around my thigh and soon it slipped to encircle my waist. It amazed me to no end to know that that thing could still wrap around my waist after all this time. I wasn't even that skinny anymore.

I was pressed full against his chest and I could feel his fur under his thin shirt. It was like a scene out of one of my wet dreams. He tasted of something sweet and fruity and all I wanted was to keep kissing him for as long as I could.

I was in heaven, kissing a demon, and I knew things would never be the same after today.

But this one moment was worth a life time of suffering. A life time of looking like a freak to the rest of the world. A life time of being abandoned when I was no longer useful. A lifetime of surviving in a world that wanted people like me gone.

This was worth all that……………..and so much more.

I think this is the longest and greatest story I've written in a long time! I've been working on this for months and been hinting about its posting for over a year and it's finally done! It feels like I just had a weight lifted off my shoulders. Please tell what you thought! I'm trying to bring back some love for this pairing!

Yours truly,

Jessica499499