Strength

By: Song

Summary: Sasuke is strong- but Naruto is stronger.

Warnings: Not a happy fic- this mentions a whole lot of the cruel realities of the world such as abuse, rape and murder. If you suspect anything like this happening, ALWAYS report it to the PROPPER AUTHORITIES!

A/U: Written in about three day... wow, long oneshot.

Free chibi (posted on my dA) for the first person to guess which line I borrowed and where it came from =D

Remember to review!

A lot of shit has happened to me in my life. You always knew me as the loquacious kid in the corner, constantly in trouble. Bet you didn't realize I know words like that, huh? Or maybe you think I just read it in a thesaurus- if I even know what a 'thesaurus' was. Well, I do. And here's proof: Loquacious: loud, talkative, saying nothing. Synonyms: chatty, verbose, inarticulate.

Tell me I'm lying. Tell me everything you thought you knew about me is truth, rather than an elaborate plot.

Guess what?

You can't.

Because the hoax I have woven together is so complete not even you know the truth.

You, who thought you knew everything that was important that anyone ever needed to know.

Wanna know a secret?

You don't.

Everything you thought was true is a lie. From the idea that it was your god given right to be a stuck up asshole because you were all alone to the assurance that no matter what you did you couldn't possibly be as much of a failure as the dead last.

You can't even begin to fathom what 'alone' really means, bastard.

If every thing you thought you knew (such as my utterly talentless existence and standing as 'dead last') is fake, then what does that make you?

A failure, and a poser... and perhaps even a shame to your heritage.

No, not your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles or cousins... but to your brother. The heritage you murdered.

Your village didn't betray your family- the family betrayed the village. Your brother was not some psychotic killer bent on 'proving his worth'. Your brother, like my father did what his profession asked of him, and for that reason he was a better man by far than either of us will ever be. Why? Because I couldn't kill you. I couldn't even bear the thought of someone killing you. You, the one person who I thought understood me. You, the one person that I was stupid enough to believe.

You've said to me that I can't possibly know what a family is- and therefor I can't miss it. You're right in one aspect; I don't know what a family is- but unlike you I don't have the memories of the good times to fall back upon and bring me through. Only the aspiration to gain knowledge of what I have never known.

You see, I have been alone from day one. My mother died in childbirth, and my father sacrificed himself for a village that didn't deserve him.

I was beaten for the first time when I was three. I think they figured that because I was a toddler, shaken-baby syndrome wouldn't apply to me anymore. The only reason I'm not dead is because of my tenant. For that, I am lucky, I guess. Then again it was my tenant's presence that brought this upon me.

I was kicked out of the orphanage when I was four. They 'couldn't support me'- despite the fact that Hokage jiji was paying them to do so. Everything from then on was a question. When would I eat next? Where would I sleep? Was I safe? These are not questions any human should be asking.

I saw my first death when I was five. She was a beggar like me- starving, stealing a scrap of food. She was oddly shaped and desperate to survive. All it took was one well-aimed rock from the cart's owner, and she was gone. I doubt he ever realized he even killed the woman- he just took the bread back and left the body on the ground. I was horrified. My five year old eyes could not believe what they saw. The woman never got up. I ventured forward to check for a pulse but it was useless. The body already cool to the touch, gray mush mixed with blood dripping from a crack in the back of her skull. Beneath the rags she wore her belly was swollen, creating her strange silhouette and I realized life was not fair.

I killed my first man when I was seven. I lashed out as he laughed and kicked me. I couldn't take it- then the next thing I knew he was lying in a pool of blood his throat slit with the offending weapon in my hand. An orange glow was receding from around me, reflected in unseeing eyes. It was then I realized I had a great power within me. A power to create or destroy, depending on how I used it. It was then that I realized my only choice was to hide it away for the betterment of the people my father died to protect. The village I swore my life and allegiance too, the village I would die to protect if need be.

I learned about sex when I was nine-through experience. Sex isn't the right word for it though- rape is a better one. As much as the village hated me and was disgusted by my existence, I was an easy target for someone desperate to get some. ANBU's Hound found me. I'm not quite sure what happened. One moment a drunk man had me up against a wall, and the next I was being held in Kakashi's arms as he told me everything would be alright. I think that was the first time he saw me as 'Naruto' instead of the 'demon brat' or 'Sensei's son'. He doesn't know that I know he was the one that saved me.

And I dealt with it. I became faster so I wouldn't get caught. I became slier, to get out of a situation when it arose. I learned stealth, so that when I didn't want to be found, no mortal could locate me.

I learned how to read when I was ten. Didn't you ever wonder why I did so poorly in the academy? You would have to, if none had ever bothered to give you the time to teach you anything. Of course though, someone like you, a natural born genius would never have to go through something like that with private tutors holding your hand wherever you went. And do you know who taught me? Ayame, from Ichiraku's Ramen so I could read the menu. Ichiraku is about the only place I can afford to eat- the only place that doesn't bleed me dry for every last bit of my weekly allowance. I'm fairly sure they serve me more than what I pay for, just so I won't go hungry.

Have you ever felt hunger? Have you ever gone days without food, only to get mugged when you finally had enough money to feed yourself? Have you ever searched through the garbage of restaurants for a meal only to be accused of stealing?

Somehow I doubt it.

I got my first taste of family when I was twelve. I saved his life, and he saved mine. I never meant anything to Iruka before that- and then he realized we were not all that different. He, a refugee from Kirigakure due to his kekkei genkai- and me, shunned from my village for my status as a jinchuriki. Both outcasts from what should have been home.

I was so exited when I was placed on a team- finally, I had a chance to be part of something bigger than just me.

What a bitter disappointment. Kaka-sensei was nothing of what I expected the son of Konoha's White Fang to be, let alone the fearless devoted warrior that was the Hound. Sakura? She was incapable of pulling her own weight, let alone the responsibility of being part of a team held.

But you, you were the greatest disappointment of all.

I had thought that finally I had found someone who would understand me. My need for recognition, my desire to prove myself as not just the Kyuubi kid, a freak of society- but Uzumaki Naruto, Son of Namikaze Minato and Uzumaki Kushina, future Hokage of Konoha, jinchuriki and above all else- human.

I was wrong.

You were just a stupid kid.

Hell, I was just a stupid kid.

Stupid kids bent on dreams that were never meant to be.

Despite all this I found myself growing close to you. Our rivalry bound us, created our friendship and cemented each of us as one of the corner stones in the the other's fate. It was that same rivalry that ultimately destroyed what we had together.

You were my brother Sasuke; I loved you.

Then you go and throw it all away.

Even when you left I didn't break. I may have wanted to, but I held. I had to. I may not have much in life, but I have my strength.

And its not the physical kind that you're so set on obtaining.

Know what Sasuke? Even after all that we've gone through- that I've gone through, I'm not crying. I'm not sulking. I'm not wallowing in self pity and depression. I'm not swearing vengeance on those that did this to me. Even if I did, where would that get me? The man that condemned me to this hell also gave me life, and died for the people that did this to me. Every person who had ever wronged me would suffer at my hand, be it for their actions or lack thereof... and the wellbeing of that which I swore to protect, that my father swore to protect, would be no more.

Is it really worth it to destroy everything you ever desired to achieve a meaningless goal?

I can tell you right now- it's not.

I am strong enough to realize this Sasuke. I'm strong enough to let go- even of my dream.

Are you?

Fin