My ex and I

Chapter 1

Stories of yesterday

'He knows better, and so do I.'

The raindrops slid down the window pane. Sakura looked outside the window her eyes particularly fixed on the palm tree in front of her house. The wind recklessly tossed it from one side to another; she wondered if it would be able to keep rooted in the ground. She tried not to ponder on the situation that had presented itself that evening. The coffee in the mug she clasped between her hands was getting cold. 'One night…' she muttered before her train of thought was interrupted by the sound of feet pattering on the wooden floor. As Sakura slowly averted her gaze to where the sound was coming from, Asuna jumped on the empty space of the couch besides her thus causing her to spill her coffee all over her white turtle neck.

"Asuna." She complained her eyebrows pulling up "how many times have I told you not to run around and not to jump on the couch?"

The little green eyed girl put her index finger over her lips and tried to count in her mind how many times it had been. "Uh, I can't remember." She told her mother. She placed her tiny hands on her mother thigh while Sakura placed the mug on a coffee table nearby "you're all wet." She commented "I'm sorry."

Sakura slowly stood up "And where has your father disappeared off to, I thought he said he was going to quickly clean up." Sakura had to look for clothes he had left behind when he moved out. It was half an hour ago when he appeared on her doorstep, drenched and looking rather distressed. His face was pale, and he looked like he had been crying. When she asked him what was wrong, he was silent. She hugged him but still, he refused to utter a word.

Asuna raised her shoulders, she withdrew the remote that was in between the green cushions and before she could press the on button, her mother folded her hands over her chest. Her (Sakura) eyebrow strategically rose. Asuna sighed "fine, I'll go brush my teeth and go to bed." She jumped off the couch muttering "all my friends get to watch TV at night."

Sakura smiled. She crouched at her level and opened her arms "come here." She said softly.

She hugged Asuna then kissed her forehead "I won't be able to tuck you in bed tonight. I have to talk to your father."

"He's sad, isn't he?" she asked in a low tone.

Sakura nodded. "I think so."

"Is he going to sleep over…please Mommy can he?"

Sakura scratched the tip of her head; she had to think this through. First of all where would he sleep, the house only had two bedrooms, on the couch perhaps. She hated this, every time Syaoran spent the night something happened. Sometimes they fight, other times they end up making love and one time she had to nurse him back to health, he spent 4 days in her bed being the big baby he was. It was only a cold but he acted like he was dying.

Nonetheless, he was her ex boyfriend. They shared many things together and she couldn't get rid of him if she wanted. After all, they had a four year old daughter. He got her pregnant when they were sixteen. The news affected her relationship with her father and her brother only found another reason to dislike the 'brat' as he would put it. Sakura had long made up her mind that she was going to keep the baby 3 months after she told them the news.

Everything changed so much in the stretch of a year; she had to force herself to grow up quickly. She had to repeat a grade in which she did not have the enthusiasm to make any friends, she had to get a job for the sake of Asuna and at the end of it all her final marks were not good enough to get her a scholarship for College. It had been the worst yet best four years of her life. While she was carrying Asuna, Syaoran asked her to marry him. She refused; she did not want to get married only because she was pregnant. He asked her several more times with no avail. She loved him, with all that was within her but the timing was never right.

She took Asuna's hand and they walked to Asuna's room. "Can I say goodnight to daddy." Asuna said half heartedly. Sakura nodded.

Syaoran on the other hand had it much easier, he graduated on time and even though his final grades were affected due to all the time he spent taking care of Asuna, his grandfather paid him into a good college where he was studying Financial Management. His family has only seen Asuna once and they refused to contribute with the funds needed to raise her.

"She did this on purpose." Sakura could remember clearly the things his mother said to her. At the time, she was 6 months pregnant. "Why doesn't she want to give it away? Why didn't she abort it? She's just a trouble maker."

With all the negativity and tension between the couple, it was only an ideal thought that their relationship would last. 1 year and a half earlier, she broke up with him.

Asuna walked into the bathroom, she took his hand and pressed her cheek against the back of his hand. He only noticed her presence when he felt her soft tiny hands gently wrapped around his fingers. "Daddy, you'll be fine." She told him, he always told her the same thing whenever she was sad or hurt.

He slowly turned his head and looked down. When she looked up at him, he managed to remove the anxiety on his face and smile. Her eyes looked like they were glowing; she looked the same way Sakura did when she was four. Syaoran first met Sakura at that age, they were neighbors up to the time they were fourteen.

He placed his hand over her tiny head. She pulled away quickly "I have to get to bed." She said playfully "by myself." It was an achievement; it meant that she was growing up.

Asuna walked past Sakura. "Good night." Sakura told her.

Asuna suddenly stopped in her tracks then she said "Don't fight, please."

Sakura was silent, and Syaoran turned off the tap. Asuna disappeared before any of them could say anything.

Sakura quietly leaned on frame across the ajar door. She didn't know where to place her hands at first; she folded them over her chest. In her mind, she wanted to approach this situation in the best way possible.

"What's wrong?" She asked him softly her head now facing the tan tiles on the floor. He turned around, he leaned against the sink, and tears were still in his eyes. He swallowed hard "My mother's dead, she died in a car accident yesterday morning."

Sakura gasped putting her hand over her mouth, why was she only hearing this now? "I'm sorry." She stuttered. She did not know what to do; she had never known anyone who lost someone close to them. In her heart she felt sorry for Syaoran, no matter how cruel the woman was, she was still his mother, but for some reason Sakura could not find the strength to feel pity for this woman who died a tragic death. She was disgusted with herself, how could she allow her hate for this woman to get in the way of what was truly important here?

She took a few steps and hugged Syaoran. She had never held him so close; she could feel his heart beat through her chest as his torso crushed her delicate breast. It was not very comfortable but she had to ignore the slight pain this was giving her.

"Syaoran…why didn't you tell me…did you just find out?"

"My sister called me an hour after it happened, I could not believe it so I tried to ignore it and carry on like nothing is wrong…but today while I was in my car I got the sudden urge to walk and for some reason I ended up here, when you opened the door, it finally struck me."

Sakura patted his back and he circled his hands around her slender frame.

"I'm sorry…you are the only person I can talk to." He muttered, she had also been the only person who had ever seen him cry.

Sakura remembered that her turtle neck was wet but tried her hardest to ignore this distracting thought.

They were in that position for five minutes, Sakura managed to relax and allow him to find comfort in her.

He let her go; now his eyes dry "The funeral will be the day after tomorrow, Friday." He said "It would mean a lot to me if you came."

Sakura looked in his eyes and automatically nodded. How she wished she had said no and come up with an excuse on time. It was killing her, the idea of having to meet the Li family, all 7 of them ready to rip her up to pieces.

They walked to the kitchen.

"Are you hungry?" she asked him.

"Uh..yeah."

"Sorry, there are only leftovers."

"That's fine."

Sakura took out some leftovers from supper and placed them in the microwave; he sat across the counter and watched her vigilantly. His Sakura, the centre of his life, the reason he was made. In spite of the separation, he loved her, no less than he ever did. 'Just because I love her doesn't mean we can make it work, love has to work both ways.'

She looked carefully at the buttons of the microwave, and then she turned it on "It's a new microwave." She told him getting an agreeing nod from him.

3 minutes of awkward silence passed, and then the microwave light went off making a beeping sound.

While she took out the food Syaoran muttered "I know you didn't like her, she mistreated you. You always thought that I was on her side but Sakura, I was always on yours."

She placed the food on the counter "It didn't seem that way." She failed to look into his face. "What I hated is how good you were to her even though she refused to help us raise our daughter. Now you're in college and I'm here…trying to tackle two jobs."

He sighed "I didn't say that to stir up an argument." He said softly "Sometimes Kura…sometimes I know you hear me but you don't listen to me. You always make yourself a victim!"

Her eyes watered from the touchy topic "Because I am the victim." She handed him a fork quickly.

"Syaoran I was sixteen, how could she tell me that and you…you wanted me to abort it, you didn't say it but I know that's what you wanted."

He took a deep breath "For heavens sake, my mother just died and we are having the same argument we've been having for the past 2 years."

She sighed "I don't know why you came to me." Her face was red and he could see the veins on her forehead.

"Yes you do." He said softly "And please lower your voice. I hate seeing you like this and I hate it that I am the reason you act this way. I'm sorry for contributing to making your life miserable, I'm sorry I insisted that we don't use protection that day and you got blamed for it, I'm sorry that you can't find a modeling agency to hire you…I'm tired of being sorry, I don't know what else to say to you. I love our daughter and I'm glad that you decided to keep her. I was young and foolish Sakura, I thought if it was gone everything will go back to the way it used to be." He had tears in his eyes "Asuna is the one thing I never knew I needed and it hurts that my mother will never see how special she is."

Sakura was quiet while they exchanged looks of hurt. He had never put it that way before; Sakura did not have a defense.

"I know you Sakura, more than anyone and you know me more than anyone else ever will."

She remained quiet.

"So we didn't have our happy ending but, it's never too late to have things the way we wanted them. I always imagined that you would be the mother of my child, so that's one thing taken care of."

"It's not that easy." She muttered.

"There is not a single memory I have in which you are not there." He smiled "the pretty girl with the short hair and pig tails, I still recall the sound of your rollerblades as they glided on the asphalt on our way to school."

Sakura leaned against the counter her fingers fixed on the edges. "Even after my rollerblades started wearing, I couldn't get rid of them, I was so attached to them.

He laughed "then I threw them away when you went to visit your grandmother."

"I cried so much, I was thirteen, I even punched you."

"The first girl to ever hit me, and I let you get away with it, I couldn't even find it in my heart to yell at you, then I asked you why you liked them so much and you said that they were the last thing your mother bought for you before she died. When she bought them they were too big for you but you wore them anyway and at that time they were so small they gave you blisters, but regardless, you wore them everywhere."

She looked at him surprised "I don't remember that part."

"I remember everything. It was the first time we ever had serious a conversation, you hugged me, not half way like you did days before that, you held me so tight I still remember the scent of your hair and the feel of your tears against my cheek."

Sakura's eyes were filled with tears, her mind refused to go back to that day. She knew that it was real and that it happened but he described the moment in more detail than she could recall.

"And that's when I knew it; I told myself that you were the girl that I was going to marry. So I can take care of you and you would spend less of your days crying the way you did that day. I would spend my life trying to make you happy because when you hurt, I hurt. As long as you are unhappy, I will never truly be happy."

She gasped, her fingers trembling. He smiled at her, pleased that she was calm and finally listening to him. He sank the fork in the boiled potato then looked up. He needed a vivid image of this moment before it fleeted.

They were quiet after that; Sakura did not know what to say to him. When he finished his meal, he washed his plate and asked "So, any new modeling jobs?" he just wanted one normal conversation with her.

She looked at him "I have a photo shoot with princess clothing, its Tomoyo's clothing line. She's not paying me much, it'smostly a favor." After everything he said, she could not stay angry at him.

"Kura, you'll make it."

Sakura was definitely a rose in a bed of weeds, she was tall and slender. Her skin was always clear and she did not gain weight from eating. Not even her pregnancy could ruin her figure. When she was young she was so skinny and tall that she often got teased. In their early teens she was even taller than him. She never considered modeling up until she was nineteen and was offered a job to replace a model that missed her flight at the agency where she used to work as an assistant.

In spite of the fact that she only had a high school level of education, they hired her because she blended in with the models and fitted the image of the agency. She modeled for the Agency for one year before it shut down.

"I hope I make it, this is not as easy as I thought it would be." She said softly. "I should get you a pillow and a blanket, I'm sorry you have to sleep on the couch."

He smiled "it's fine. I'll walk back home." For that 1 hour he had forgotten everything bad that was happening in his life.

"No…" she turned her head aside trying to hide the tint of pink that had appeared in her cheeks "Asuna wants you to stay and I can't let you…" she paused "it's dark and raining and what if they mug you. I can't let you go." Her last statement carried more weight than she had made it appear. She could not let him go, she could not let her feeling for him go.

She turned her body away "Now stay here, I'll go get the things and I better find you here when I get back." She garbled.

As she walked away he smiled. It was comforting to know that she still cared for him, even though she was being stern and a little bit bossy while showing it.

He was standing on the same spot when she returned; she had taken off her turtle neck and was in a white halter top. She walked to the couch and spread the blanket over it, she fluffed the pillow and told him "Your suit awaits you."

He sat on the couch and she unconsciously sat on the coffee table right across him. "So how are the studies?"

"Alright, the other day, our lecturer gave us a surprise quiz, he left the lecture for one minute and everyone started cheating, eventually he found one, he was so pissed, he yelled so hard his face was purple. Our class got a whole speech from the dean…"

As he spoke she watched the movement of his lips, he always had interesting stories about this place. She would have loved it, just as she did high school. But then everything happens for a reason and there was no point in brooding over something that failed and showed no promise of being a part of her life. All her friends were in college. Tomoyo told Sakura many stories as well, the party scene, the classes and the people. She used to feel a jolt in her heart but it was no longer there.

When he finished his story they both laughed.

"I like this, talking like old times."

She nodded agreeably "I'm sorry." It was the first time the words escaped her lips "It's not all your fault."

He looked at her in surprise while sitting up. His face was slightly leaning towards hers. "I'm not really nice to you." She said with a watery smile while she played with her fingers. "I'm not nice to most people."

He looked at her serious.

She raised her shoulder quickly "I don't know why? At one point it made sense but now I don't know."

"You're not that mean."

She tried to smile, she playfully hit his thigh "But I am. I'm just a bad person."

He was not convinced that she was just saying these things like she wanted him to think. She meant every word. He shifted a little and his knee caps were directly pressed against hers. She buried her face in her hand and heaved a sigh.

"Don't say that." He slowly reached for her hand pulling it away from her face.

"But…it's true. You said that yourself."

He ruffled his hair and laughed "I was angry that day, I said a lot of things I didn't mean." He wiped her tears from her eyes with his thumb "Don't cry. You're my yellow brick road, I'm nothing without you."

He pulled his hand away and like a helpless child she wiped away the rest of her tears with her fingers.

"You've always been such a cry baby." He teased her attempting to make the tears go away; if he stirs up a silly argument she would forget that she was sad.

She shook her head "Cry baby? You called me that for two years in elementary school, you were always so mean to me, picking fights and shouting at me. And you were such a jerk around your loser friends." She poked his chin and muttered "such a jerk."

"You know how nine year olds are but we still hung out."

"You used to always pinch me when we were younger!!" she pouted and repeated "such a jerk."

"Come on, give me a break."

They looked at each other and laughed. The laughter died when the voice of their daughter reached their ears "Why are you laughing so loud?" she asked rubbing her eyes. She was holding a stuffed rabbit in her hands.

"Come here." Syaoran told her. She first smiled then walked towards him. He picked her up and sat her on his lap "We were just talking about the time when we were kids, just like you."

Her eyes lit up and she looked up at him "Tell me too."

"Tell her about your goldfish, jaws." Sakura said.

He nodded then started with the story.

……….

When Sakura woke up the next morning, she found Asuna sitting on the edge of her bed and brushing her dolls hair. "Morning honey, why are you up so early?"

"Daddy woke me up, he came to say goodbye to me."

Sakura yawned and stretched her hands out. "He did."

Then she giggled "It's not early, all my favorite morning cartoons are over."

"Really?"

She nodded crawling over to the other side of the bed "I want him to stay here all the time…why won't he live with us?"

Sakura looked up at the ceiling; she always had to think hard to explain things to Asuna "You should ask him that." she said dodging the question. Asuna lay next to her "He says I should tell you he says goodbye."

Sakura smiled. She tickled Asuna then hugged her "I love you!" Asuna laughed so hard then said "Aunt Tomoyo said you should be at her studio early today morning!"

Sakura jumped out of bed "You're right? Come on, we need to wash up before she kills us."

"What about school?"

"Uh…"Sakura looked at the time "You'll go tomorrow."

Half an hour later, they were running to Sakura's yellow Beatle with egos in their hands.

"Tomoyo is going to kill me; I just hope the photographer is not there yet." She turned to look at Asuna in the backseat "Is your seat belt on."

She nodded giving Sakura a thumbs up. Sakura checked to see if it was snuggly before starting the engine.

They reached Tomoyo's studio an hour late than they had agreed upon. Tomoyo's studio was underground in her Mother's clothing store; it was nothing short of class.

"I'm sorry I'm late." Sakura barged into the room. Asuna was grasping the helm of her yellow dress.

Tomoyo shook her head "Don't worry, Eriol isn't here yet. He's the photographer." She sighed; it was obvious that she had been anxious.

"Hi Tomoyo…I mean Aunt Tomoyo." Asuna waved her hand. Sakura had told Asuna to address Tomoyo as Aunt.

"Oh, you…brought Asuna." Tomoyo hardly sounded excited "Doesn't she have school."

"She's not going." Sakura said.

"And why not?"

Sakura released a nervous giggle "I was late and her pre school is so far."

Every time Asuna was in the studio, she made noise, spilt things, her hands were always greasy and she never listened.

"Asuna, why don't you make something out of this?" Tomoyo grabbed a magenta fabric and gave it to the little girl.

"Like what?"

"A dress." Tomoyo smiled "I was four when I made my first real dress."

"Your Mom let you play with needle and scissors?" Sakura asked.

Tomoyo laughed "I guess I was 6. You can use glue and those sequins over there; just sit on that corner…far far away from here okay."

She nodded excited "Okay!"

Tomoyo took Sakura's hand "We need to get you ready!"

They went behind a curtain where Tomoyo's college roommate was trying to clean up "Shugo, do me a favor, can you go in the next room. Make sure Asuna doesn't touch anything, I'll clean up."

Shugo nodded "No problem. Sakura you nearly gave her a heart attack." Shugo smiled and

Sakura smiled back. "She is overreacting."

While Tomoyo sorted out the outfits Sakura said to her "Guess who came over last night?"

"No way, Syaoran! Did you kids do the nasty again? Ohh Sakura you're dirty. You broke up 2 years ago and you still sleep together occasionally, wow, that's what I call exs with benefits I wish Travis my ex was like that, he was really good at it, life is not fair. "she moaned.

Sakura shook her head -.-! "Tomoyo it's nothing like that and besides we haven't done anything in a year now."

"Hey, you are always going on about how he's always trying to seduce you can you blame me?"

Sakura half smiled, she had a point.

"His mother passed away on Tuesday."

Tomoyo clasped her hand over her mouth "That's so sad, even though she was an eccentric Bitch." Tomoyo failed to avoid laughing "That's what you used to call her, right."

"Uh…well Syaoran was so heartbroken. We spoke about a lot of things, things he's never said to me before."

"You guys bonded?"

"We haven't spoken like that in so long; I forgot how wonderful he is to talk to. We spoke until four in the morning. Asuna joined us for awhile but she quickly fell asleep."

"So does this mean what I think it means?"

"Right now…I don't really know what it means."

…………

A/N: I guess this story is a bit similar to my paper heart, it has the same feel and I even included their daughter Asuna in it. It's still a different story. It's just something short I felt like writing. Don't worry I'll be putting up the next chapter by Monday. Ja ne.

R&R pliz. Bye