Hi everyone. This is a fic that I have been writing for a long time, or at least I wanted to write. It started in my French class, and I just kept writing it instead of listening to the teacher. I've had this idea for a long time, but I hadn't started writing it until a few months ago. The girl next to me in French kept telling me to write more so she could read it, and so I decided today that I was going to put it on fanfiction so here it is. I hope you enjoy it.

Disclaim: I do like soooooo NOT own Twilight that it's starting to get pathetic.
I mean, why can't I just have it? It's not like I'm going to harass Edward, or Jasper, or Emmet or even Carlisle…..
5 min later: Ok Ok, maybe I am, a little. Ok more than a little. Ok A LOT. So what?! They're just too perfect for their own good. It's not like that's my fault. It's Stephenie Meyer's fault. Yes that's right Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, so it's her fault that the Cullens are PERFECT. UGH!!!

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Title: Out of heart, out of mind.
It's based on the proverb; out of sight, out of mind. Which, as you may know, is used when you want to say that when something is not nearby it is forgotten. This title means that someone is not in your heart (you don't love that person) and not in your mind (you don't know that person).

Summary:
If I stopped looking for him, it was over. Love, life, meaning… over.

Remember those words? Remember the pain? The loss? Bella thought that Edward leaving her in the meadow was the most painful thing that had ever happened to her, that could happen to her. Well she just found out that it was not. There was something that was even worse than Edward leaving her because he didn't love her. Because when she opened her eyes for the first time, lying in the hospital, her whole world collapsed around her. Now love, life and meaning was truly over, because not only did she loose Edward and her family. This time she also lost something she had fought very hard for, her little girl, her Renesmee.

Bella wakes up in a hospital, after breaking dawn, to find that everything she thought was real, did in fact not exist. None of it really happened. Moving to Forks, meeting Edward and the Cullens, the werewolves, Renesmee. All of it was fake. Just a dream. She had an accident when she was 14 years old and had been in a coma for the past two years. Bella can't let go of her 'past' and decides to move to Forks, the little town where she had once felt at home. Forks. What Bella will find in Forks is beyond any of her expectations.

Chapter 1: Awakening

'Bella honey, can you hear me?' I heard someone say.

Bella? Who's Bella? Where am I? What's going on. Why is it so dark?

'Please, please wake up' the person continued. I could hear from her voice, that it was a woman. 'We're all waiting for you. We miss you, Bella' her voice broke at the end.

Bella. That's right. I'm Bella. But why couldn't I see anything? I was aware that something was holding my hand. Something fell on my hand. It felt like a drop of water. Was she crying? Why. And why am I here?

I had a lot of questions, so I tried to speak up, but I couldn't. I could feel my body and everything that was touching me, but I couldn't do anything with it. I couldn't as much as open my mouth. So I concentrated on other things, like what was probably happening. Surely I should remember why I was in this position.

My name is Bella. I am… 18…I think. What is my last name? Suddenly I remembered a word. Cullen? Yes, that's right. I'm Bella Cullen.

As soon as I thought this, I suddenly got all kinds of flashes. They were images, of what appeared to be my live.

Flashbacks

"You don't have to do this."
"I want to go," I lied

It was there, sitting in the lunchroom, trying to make conversation with seven curious strangers, that I first saw them.

I'd noticed that his eyes were black – coal black

Today, his eyes were a completely different color: a strange ocher, darker than butterscotch, but with the same golden tone.

Edward Cullen was standing four cars down from me, staring at me in horror. His face stood out from a sea of faces, all frozen in the same mask of shock.
Just before I heard the shattering crunch of the van folding around the truck bed, something hit me, hard, but not from the direction I was expecting.

"Trust me."

That was the first night I dreamed of Edward Cullen.

"It's better if we're not friends. Trust me."

"I'm trying to figure out what you are."

"What if I'm not a superhero? What if I'm the bad guy?"

"Do you like scary stories?"

"Distract me, please."

"Do I dazzle you?"

"I feel very safe with you."

"I decided it didn't matter."
"It doesn't matter to me what you are."
"You don't care if I'm a monster? If I'm not human?"

"How old are you?"
"Seventeen"
"And how long have you been seventeen?"

"It's wrong. It's not safe. I'm dangerous, Bella — please, grasp that"
"I told you, it doesn't matter what you are. It's too late"

"Did I frighten you?"

"Be safe"

"I promise… I swear not to hurt you"
(A/N the flashbacks just go on like that through all the things that happened in Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking dawn.)

...

And then one of the last things I could remember

"Forever and forever and forever," he murmured.

"That sounds exactly right to me."

'Bella, you can do this' the voice went on and suddenly I recognized who it was.

Renee? I thought. What am I doing here? What's happening.

'I know you Bella, you're a strong girl. Please just open your eyes' I could hear her sobbing next to me.

I wanted to help her, I really did, but I couldn't. Where's Edward?

'Edward?' I heard someone whisper. The voice was very husky. It took me a minute to recognize it as my voice.

Renee shrieked. 'Charlie! Charlie, come quick, she said something' she cried out. The next I heard someone running into the room, probably wondering what was happening.

My guess was confirmed when the person said, 'Renee, what happened?!'

Charlie?

'She just said something. I swear I heard her say something'

'Bells, can you hear me?' Dad asked me urgently 'If you can then please come back to us. We're all waiting for you.

Edward? Nessie?

'Renesmee?' I tried to say, and I knew that I had done it when Renee cried out in joy.

'Yes that's it honey, you can do this'

No I can't. it's too hard and my head hurts so much. I can't do it, I can't open my eyes.

NO! Renesmee, I thought, My baby-girl needs me. I have to be there for her, she's probably really scared.

No, Edward is looking after her. He'll keep her save and happy.

But she'll need her mother!

I knew I had to at least try. I had to take care of my little girl.

I started concentrating on something small, like moving my fingers. It was really hard to do it, but after a few tries and a lot of effort I did it. Ok it wasn't much, it just moved a little, but I knew that I could do it, if I just tried hard enough.

'Yes, she moved her fingers.' Renee said 'Maybe we should call him Charlie. I'm sure Dr. Cullen will like to come over from Forks. He-'

She suddenly stopped talking, because my eyes had instantly snapped open when I heard the name Cullen.

'Dad' I whispered, 'Where's Nessie?'

Charlie and Renee were looking at me, shocked. Charlie grabbed my hand.

'Yes honey, I'm here' He clearly thought I had meant him. Of course he's my dad too, but I was talking about my other father. It didn't matter who he was if he could just tell me where Renesmee was.

'Where's Nessie?' I asked him 'And Edw…' I trailed off, because I could clearly see the confusion written on their faces.

'Honey, who's Nessie?' My mother asked concerned.

I was looking at her, trying to see if she was making a joke. A very cruel joke.

'Ha ha, very funny' I told her, actually not fining anything funny about it at all, and looked over to Charlie 'No really, where is she? I really want to see her.'

'Ok honey. I'll try to contact her' relieve flooded over me. Thank god, they were kidding.

'Is she one of your friends?' He asked me 'Do you know her phone number?'

Now I was really staring at them as if they were aliens.

'What do you mean one of my friends?' I was now starting to panic 'How can you not remember - ' I suddenly stopped what I was going to say. Something really strange was going on. How come Charlie doesn't remember Nessie? He used to love her. Something was wrong, really wrong.

I looked around. Only now I noticed where I was. I was lying in a white room, the hospital. But why am I in an hospital.

I tried to sit up, but something was taped across my face and all kind of wires were attached to me. One of the wired was coming from a machine next to me. I recognized it immediately andit would be save to say that it scared the hell out of me.

Now I was certain that something weird was going on, because the machine that was attached to my body, was a heart monitor. I could hear it beeping very clearly, indicating that my heart was beating.

How is that possible? I thought, now really panicking. That can't be. I'm a vampire, my heart doesn't beat, at least it's not supposed to beat. My breathing increased, and I was sure I would start hyperventilating any minute.

Charlie panicked and called the doctor, while Renee was trying to calm me down.

'Shhhh, it's ok.' She kept saying, while stroking my cheek 'Everything will be ok'

I really would like to say that it helped, but of course it didn't.

No it's not! Everything is not going to be ok! Everything is going to be everything but ok! I wanted to yell at her, but instead I started taking long deep breaths so I could calm down and think this through. I had to fix this, because not only was my heart beating, but my parents also didn't know who Edward and Renesmee were.

I calmed down completely after a while. I kept lying there on the hospital bed, without saying anything. I didn't have the strength. Renee was sitting next to me and was talking to me, but I didn't hear a word she said.

It was getting really late, so she said goodbye to me and told me she would go home and make arrangements so I could go back home as soon as I was allowed to leave the hospital. She kissed my forehead and told me to sleep a bit so I could get some rest.

It was very quiet if the room when she left, but I had to say that I was relieved when she left. I was thankful for the silence, because the only people I wanted to see right now weren't here.

I tried to think of ways to fix this, but deep down inside I knew it was over. I had lost them, this time probably forever.

Why did I have to wake up, why didn't I just die? That was the last thought I had before I fell asleep. I was dreaming that I was in a dark room, I couldn't see anything or hear anything.

Silence. And I knew that the room was empty, just like my heart.

I hope you liked it.

You can review me and let me know what you think of it.