Entry: Sixteen

Dear journal,

I've been thinking a lot about love lately.

Actually, no. I haven't been thinking about it -rather, I've been listening to Ben think aloud about it. Or, to be completely honest, moan about how it doesn't really exist and quote a bunch of articles on psychology and how your emotions are all just chemicals racing through your blood and brain to prove it.

Needless to say, he broke up with Jess. I wasn't there when it happened, and I'm thanking every deity that I can think of that I wasn't.

Ben misjudged the relationship slightly. He thought that it would be a good idea to propose to Jess, even though they had only been going out for six months, and even though they're both college students who are currently wracking up enough debt in college funds to pay their rent for a decade or three. I'd just like to state here that I was not involved with the proposal in any way, and that Ben did not consult me before buying the ring and popping the question. Additionally, had he asked me first, I would not have hesitated to tell him what a bad idea it was.

Anyway, unfortunately for him, he decided that the proposal was best done in an extremely expensive restaurant along the coast. Apparently, everyone in the dining room was watching them while got down on one knee and then got rejected.

Jess seems to have dealt with it gracefully, although Ben doesn't think so. She was kind enough to not say "Never" to him, at least. Instead, she suggested that they take it slowly, and that she wasn't sure he was the one. On the ride back, she told him that she needed to consider things, and wanted to spend some time apart.

Ben took it well in front of her. Then he came home, broke the television set, and went out to a bar.

He's paying for the t.v., at least -actually, we're getting a new one. Apparently, sticking your foot through the screen has some nastily irreparable results.

I haven't seen Jess since Ben left her, which was about a week ago. I imagine it's going to be awkward if -or when- we meet up again. I heard from Brady, who heard it from a friend of Dave's girlfriend, that she's dealing well with the breakup, or at least better than Ben. Not that that's hard to do.

Love is painful, I suppose. I just wish that Ben wasn't lamenting about it quite so loudly; it makes studying a lot harder.

Until next time,

Sam Winchester