title: Sometimes It's A Good Hurt

rating: PG-13

characters/pairings: Minako, Kunzite everyone with a focus on Minako/Kunzite.

summary: whoever said love was going to be easy, was reading the wrong book.

a/n: title and theme taken from Incubus' "Love Hurts". Cliché, I know. Written for the ficathon over at . Follows "You Can Never Go Home Again, That's What They Say" and a little of "Peppermint Buttercream", but the latter is not necessary, the former? maybe a little.

Sometimes It's A Good Hurt

"You haven't talked to me recently," Minako heard from her pillow where Artemis was curled up.

She sighed, turning to her guardian, "Anything in particular you want to talk about?"

Artemis just opened one, very judging, eye, "Mina."

Ignoring the pet name and obvious opening, Minako instead chose to rest her arms on her windowsill and stare out at the moon. "There's nothing to talk about, Artemis."

She could practically feel the look of disappointment that graced his furry face. "Kunzite has never been nothing to you."

Minako closed her eyes, old memories curling like smoke across her mind, and didn't answer. Artemis had probably known she wouldn't have anyway. Her guardian knew her well, and he probably knew the very thought that filter through her mind.

No, he was never nothing. Minako didn't think Kunzite could ever be nothing to her.

(She had married him for a reason, hadn't she?)

—

The marriage had been secret and treason, they both had known it, but for once, they both stepped away from their stations as guardians, and embraced a selfish happiness of their own making. No one had known about it. Neither the senshi or the rest of the shitennou, not even their prince and princess. To let anyone on the Moon know that the Princess of Venus, leader of the Sailor Senshi, and guardian to Princess of the Moon was married to a Terran would have grounds for treason.

Ironic thing was, it hadn't even been an intentional plan.

It had begun with a teasing comment she wished she had taken back, and then they fought about the ramifications of her comment for weeks. It had been an odd limbo of want and should, love and duty. They had stayed in that limbo until the day he had risked himself, came to the moon, and proposed. For the first time in a long time Krysanthe allowed herself to shed the mantle of her station and answered for herself.

The wedding had been performed secret, in his private home, by a priest of Venus.

She had worn the traditional wedding attire of her planet: a golden strapless silk shift that reached the floor, only held together by a thin gold chain that wrapped around her torso and breasts. It was plainer shift than if she had the royal wedding her parents had dreamed of before she had been called to the Moon, but to her it had been perfect.

Kunzite had even hummed the Song of the Magellan to her afterwards.

Their honeymoon only lasted twelve hours before she teleported back to the Moon. He had still been in bed, his eyes watching her every movement, like he was trying to memorise her. If she had known what going to happen in the following months, she would have stayed longer.

They had been married for just over five months before the war broke out.

When she killed him, it had just been one month after their anniversary. They had not spent it together.

—

Settling into bed, she wrapped one arm around an already sleeping Artemis. He purred as she pulled him close to her chest, for once feeling like the little girl he saw in her.

The affection and trust she has in her guardian is great, but she wondered, how could she talk to him about someone she wasn't supposed to love, about something he was never supposed to know?

—

Spring in Tokyo was Minako's favourite time of the year. The flowers and trees began to bloom once more and everything felt alive again. It was always a wonder to see.

Not for the first time in her many years as a senshi, she felt a small jealously that her element was energy just as much as it was love. She would have loved to feel spring bloom and sense the thunder and lighting in the middle of a storm like Mako-chan did, or sense the rain and frost like Ami-chan could. Sometimes she was even envious of Rei's gift with the scared fire, even if her temperamental friend was currently still miffed at it for not warning of the shitennou's return.

Her jealously would never last long, because then Minako would pass a couple in love or look at her friends during certain times, sense their joy and love for the world and those around them. Energy spoke as loudly as love did sometimes. It waned when depression set in and spiked when pleasure abounded.

Spending time with Usagi could be a constant high if Minako didn't control herself. Some days she didn't. Her friend's energy and love was a delight to share.

It was at those time she felt grateful for her gifts and spring was best season for them. Life began again, and in it energy bloomed as quickly as love did.

She was strolling happily through the park, giggling as a group of children passed her by playing a game. Part of her felt like running after them and joining them as the kicked a ball around, but she smiled at her whim and continued on her way.

The girls were waiting for her at the temple anyway.

Hooking her thumbs in the belt loops of her jeans, she made her way out of the park, and bounced on her toes, waiting for the light to change. Across the street the smooth marble steps of the Cherry Hill Temple gleamed in the sun and Minako if Rei missed Yūichirō . He had left about a year after Galaxia, his band finally catching a break with the disappearance of the Three Lights, and if Minako remembered correctly he was currently touring in Europe. Rei would get postcards sometimes, which her grandfather would stick on the fridge like a proud, well, grandfather.

(Last year he even sent Minako a signed CD, which she had to admit, she had freaked out over like, in Rei's words, "a delusional fangirl". Minako hadn't even bothered to be insulted—she had a signed CD! Rei-chan could suck it.)

Lost in her thoughts, she almost missed the change of the light and jumping slightly as some teenager wearing too much eyeliner bumped past her, Minako rushed across the street, her long her flying out behind her.

As she reached the temple steps, she heard a voice call out to her.

"Mina-chan! Wait for me!" Usagi's voice ran out clear as bells.

Minako turned to see Usagi leaning out of a car. A very nice car, that from it's bright green colour definitely did not belong to Mamoru. The shiny Nissan, which Minako only recognised due to the shiny lettering on its front, slide to a smooth stop in front of the temple steps. Minako pursed her lips curiously as Usagi ambled out of the car.

"Usagi-chan?" she questioned, tilting her head to peer into the car.

Usagi followed her line of sight and grinned. "Niko-san was kind enough to drive me over from the hospital. Mamo-chan was so busy he couldn't even finish lunch. He's been so busy lately, it's not fair."

Minako blinked as at the mention of his name Nikolai leaned forward and waved through the open window. "Hello, there, Aino-san. Nice to see you."

"Oh, hi, Vassallo-san. Thank you for driving Usagi over."

"Not a problem; it was either me or Justin-san and I believe it was just safer for all of us if I did it." He smiled genially as Usgai giggled beside Minako and Minako had to agree. These past few months, ever since the Shitennou return, they all learned pretty quickly that Justin and Rei-chan were better kept at distance. For now, anyway. Minako had a sneaking suspicion that it wouldn't always be this way.

Smiling, she bowed her head in agreement. "Yes, it was very considerate of you."

Nikolai smiled and waved at them, driving off, "Good-bye, Aino-san. Usagi-chan, I'll see you later."

Minako stared after the car for beat, wondering if it was odd that she felt a little left out at the sweet and informal nature Nikolai (and the rest of the shitennou) had with Usagi. She knew that it was partly the senshi's doing, their own issues clouding their abilities to integrate themselves with the guys, but it made her miss…something old.

Next to her, Usagi tugged on Minako's sleeve, her bright smile still in place. "Mina-chan, let's go up before Rei realises we're late and goes into harpy mode! Plus, I want to tell you about what happened at hospital before we get up there."

"Mamoru was on the Paediatrics rotation with Justin, and it was sooo funny when I went up to see them. They get to wear clown noses sometimes to make the kids smile…" Following Usagi up the temple steps Minako listened with a careful ear at the stories that Usagi seemed to accumulate from hanging out with Mamoru and the guys so much.

"…and then, the other day, when we were waiting for Mamo-chan to finish up with his charts, Ami beat Zeke in Grand Theft Auto and I thought he was going propose!"

Minako practically tripped on the last step at the top of the temple, stumbling a few feet, head snapping to the side to stare at Usagi. "Ami…what!"

Usagi laughed, pulling Minako forward to where Rei was tapping her foot impatiently by the open shoji.

"Hey, you two, movie night can't start until we're all here, and we're already losing Ami to The Tao of Physics!"

At that Minako and Usagi turned to each other and shared a look and rushed over, laughing, "Can't let that happen!"

For now Minako pushed the conversation with Usagi to the back of her mind, but made a mental note to get Ami to share just what the hell was going on. Beating a guy in a video game was the equivalent to the third date for her.

—

It took about five days, one sleep over, and stuffing herself with Makoto's version of Kale's cupcakes on afternoon (which she promptly choked on when she found out he helped make them) to make Minako's mind about her self imposed distance with the shitennou. It was clear that Ami and Makoto weren't avoiding them at all cost and unlike Rei is was willing to admit she was curious about them.

She chewed on her bottom lip as she paced the entrance of their building.

She was the de facto leader of the senshi. First in command. A fucking princess. She had faced down multiple evils. She had died and been reborn more times than anyone should be. She could press a stupid buzzer.

She could. Really.

As her pink fingernail hovered over the button, Minako jumped as a voice behind her startled her.

"Need some help, Aino-san?"

Minako spun around, her blonde hair flying in her face, as she turned to face him.

Of course it was him.

One thousand years and four months couldn't dilute the reaction she had to his voice. Minako had to lock her knees in place just in case her spine decided to turn into the jelly it was threatening to.

"Conway-san," she breathed, as she came face to face with his chest. Damn, sometimes she forgot how much taller than she he really was.

He had a nonchalant but not entirely off putting look on his face. Like part of him couldn't really believe she was standing in front of him. To be perfectly honest, part of her couldn't believe it either.

"Hello, Aino-san," he bowed his head, politely. "Can I help you with something?"

Minako scrambled to think of the various reasons (excuses) that she had come up with for coming over to the shitennou's apartment, but at the low bass of his voice all they all flew out of her head. So instead of the casual and sophisticated excuses she had planned all Minako ended up saying was the oh so eloquent, "Oh, um…"

If the ground could open up and swallow her whole at the moment, Minako couldn't help think she would eternally grateful for it. Where was a good youma when you needed one?

"Aino-san?"

Pressing her lips together, she rolled her shoulders back and tried again, "What I meant to say is that…" She trailed off for a second before rolling her eyes, whipping her arms out and motioning to the glass doors of the building, "Well, I was curious! Usagi, Ami and Mako-chan have all visited."

The words slipped out of her mouth, practically unbidden, but undeniably true. She was curious, about him, where he lived, the couch where Ami apparently played video games with him, where he made food with Makoto. She was curious. It wasn't a crime, and perfectly natural, Minako reasoned with herself

His lips twitched, and Minako raised an eyebrow, daring him to laugh at her. He didn't, but hadn't she known he wouldn't? The few encounters they've had so far only seemed to reinforce the fact that Kunzite, no, wait, Kale Conway, was every bit the gentleman she remembered him to be.

Of course that wasn't to say she didn't remember more than a few un-gentlemanly things as well, but it would do her no good to dwell on those thoughts.

Kale seemed unaffected by her thoughts, because he only smiled after her outburst and opened the door for her,

"In that case, Aino-san, would you like to come up for coffee? I would offer tea, but I'm afraid we don't have any tea."

Minako nodded, smiling, "Thank you, Conway-san, coffee would be fine."

She looked from the open door to his face and swore she could hear Rei and Artemis yelling in her ear not to go up, but not for the first time Minako ignored the voices in her head and followed that pull in her chest.

—

The elevator was a respectable size, which meant that she wasn't pressed up against Kale. Not a bad thing, if it wasn't for the fact that the few inches of space between them was crackling with an energy she couldn't help but be aware of.

God, he radiated strength.

She had forgotten how overwhelming it used to be to be around him.

Closing her eyes, she blocked out as much of the sensations as she could.

"Aino-san," he spoke quietly, "are you all right?"

Minako turned to answer him when the elevator door dinged open on their floor.

"Yes, fine."

—

The shitennou's kitchen was impeccable. As she took in the sleek, but homey design of it she understood all the better why Mako-chan had gone on and on about it.

It really was her friend's dream kitchen.

Settling in a stool, Minako propped up her arm on the island's counter, resting her chin on her curled palm. She watched as Kale moved around the kitchen heating the water for the coffee, getting out the French press and coffee. He moved with simple, quick, fluid movement and in each shift of his body she could see the muscles that worked under his shirt and every where.

She had always loved to see him move.

Bringing herself out of thoughts that led down a very dangerous road, Minako surveyed the kitchen with a more careful eye.

"It's a lovely kitchen; lovely apartment, really," and it was, that at least she could admit out loud.

"Thank you. It serves our purpose well," Kale said as busied himself preparing the coffee.

"And what are your purposes here?"

The minute the words left her mouth, Minako cringed, hearing all too well just how they sounded.

"I guess, right now, it's just making lives for ourselves in Tokyo." Kale, thankfully, didn't mention anything about her tone, even though the pale eyebrow he raised at her said more than enough. He just continued to pour the steaming water into the French press and let the coffee brew.

"Besides coming over and introducing ourselves to Mamoru-san, we—I didn't have much of a plan of what to do after the fact. Now, we're just here with no plan."

Minako couldn't help but smile, "I don't believe you. You always used to have plan."

Kale leaned against the counter, his sea-green eyes staring steadily at her. "That was a different life, Aino-san. I'm afraid that this time around I'm not quiet as well prepared as before."

His voice dropped an octave and Minako suddenly felt guilty for her words. It was clear that comparisons between himself and his past self weren't something he was comfortable with. Minako could understand. Venus, for being a goddess of Love, had also been warrior. Venus had done a great many things that Minako wasn't exactly proud of. Killing her husband, for one.

"I'm sorry, Conway-san, I didn't mean to imply anything." Standing, Minako made her way around the island.

He turned to the coffee, his hand curling over the press and pushed down. "It's fine, Aino-san, I know you didn't mean anything by it. I guess, there more than a few subjects I'm afraid to say I'm a little sensitive about."

Minako nodded, "I understand."

He glance her way and his eyes were full of warmth when he replied, "I know."

She took the two coffee mugs next to her (clearly not bought by him if the Simpsons characters were anything to go by, but then again, how well did she know this man? He was Kunzite, but he wasn't. He was warmer, leaner, with a softer smile. For all she knew he was a big Simpsons fan.) and brought them around to him. Her body brushed against his and the energy that simmered between them threatened to buckle her knees.

Thank Selene, she stood her ground and watched him as he poured the coffee. His body was barely inches away from hers and she could now see the tension in his shoulders and she moved.

"Thank you," she whispered after he finished pouring and slid the milk and sugar on the counter towards her.

"You're welcome," voice low, he met her gaze and Minako had to her hand tighter on the edge of the counter.

It was unplanned what happened next, because she couldn't even remember who moved first.

His hand was suddenly at her cheek, and her lips were opening under his. For something that had caught them both by surprise, they feel easily into it. Her arms reach out and wrapped around his neck of their own accord and his hand encircled her waist.

Her eyes closed and she could feel the energy thrumming under his skin. It was as raw as ever, and as powerful. And under it all…

Everything felt familiar and new all at the same time, and Minako had to take note that he didn't quiet taste the same.

He was, sucking his bottom lip between her own, saltier. Minako was sure there was a better word for the sharp, tangy sensation that filled her mouth, but she was too busy to catalogue it. Her finger dug into his hair, bringing herself closer to him, her body arching to meet his.

Kale pulled her closer, his arms tight around her back and waist, and Minako could feel herself being raised those precious inches that she lacked without heels. She felt his tongue tease her lips and parted her lips in accordance. Her own arms tightened around his neck as she felt her feet finally lose contact with the floor and she lifted her legs to wrap around his hips, in an effort to gain some leverage back.

There was a minor stumble, as she felt Kale lose his balance and lean back against the counter, but they didn't separate. It was as if they both understood that should they spare even the slightest moment to breath or think the moment would be lost.

So they did neither.

His hand were just at the curve of her spine and steadily moving down when they heard the apartment door slam.

"Kale! We're home and you won't believe the crap Justin thought about pulling today at the Arcade!" Zeke shouted in English, and like that Minako and Kale sprang away from each other in a flash.

It was a quite a feat as Minako literally felt herself being dropped to the floor in the same instance she pushed away from Kale. The second her toes hit the ground she spun away from him, reaching hurriedly to grab her bag, and rushed out of the kitchen. And even though she moved swiftly away from him, she could feel his eyes following her every movement.

"I'm sorry, I have to go."

She ran past the two wide-eyed blonde, who she had no doubt, were staring after her, muttering a hasty farewell.

She could hear Zeke calling her back and she could feel the guilt in his voice. Clearly, he wasn't fooled for a second about what had happened in the kitchen, but Minako paid him no mind as she entered the elevator.

—

In the safety of the elevator, Minako dropped her head against the wall repeatedly. The actions quickly were followed by her wincing at the pain that was blooming on her skull, "Ow."

She was sure that had they had five more minute and a flat surface, Justin and Zeke would have walked into something way, way, way more scandalous.

There was no more doubts anymore.

It was still there.

Lust, attraction, heat, desire. (Love.) Understanding.

The connection that had bound them together a life time ago was still as strong as ever.

Selene, help me.

—

It didn't happen often, but when Minako felt the need to disappear from the world she managed to do it pretty well. It helped that she was studying to get a degree in Communications and she did have coursework to hand in.

Thankfully, Artemis was too happy to see her take an interest in the work that he didn't ask too much about her current schedule of: work, food, manga, running, work, food, phone, quick breaks to hang out with the girls, followed by more work, running and food. He didn't seem to think she was hiding for anything, which she very well was, and for the most part let her be.

What had happened with Kale had been a mistake. Minako kept repeating to herself as she tried to keep busy, never letting her thoughts stray into that stolen moment in the Shitennou's kitchen.

It was clear that Kale had convinced Zeke and Justin not to say anything, because Minako knew just how close Zeke and Usagi had become, and the same went for Mamoru and Justin. But she had yet to receive a frantic and exited call from her princess, so she figured that Zeke had kept his mouth shut. (She doubt that Justin would even consider telling anyone, as the situation had nothing to do with him.)

Dropping onto her bed after her afternoon jog, Minako toed of her trainers, covering her eyes with her hands. Artemis was currently out with Luna somewhere so she didn't have to worry about prying eyes and ears, thank Selene.

It had been a moment of weakness, she told herself, constantly. A very wonderful moment of weakness, but she could—no, she wouldn't allow herself to fall back into old ways.

Kale was to be off limits to her. He had to be.

Except, even now, miles away from his apartment, she could feel his phantom hands on her body. The weight of his hips under her thighs and the feel of his lips on hers. Unbidden, Minako's fingers trailed the hem of her running shorts, and she sighed, remembering the press of his fingers against her skin.

Damn it! Bolting straight up in her bed, Minako ran a hand through her bangs, she had to stop thinking about Kale Conway right now.

Shucking her short and top off, she headed straight for her shower.

Cold, definitely.

—

"You know, Mina-chan, you've been very cagey these past few weeks," Usagi commented, slyly, over lunch one day.

Minako cringed inwardly, even if she knew that Usagi knew nothing of what had occurred between her and Kale. Had the other blonde known anything she wouldn't have been able to keep it in, at all.

Plastering a smile on her face, she began twirling a strand of hair, "I don't know what you mean, Usagi-chan, I've just a lot of coursework to hand in."

"Are you sure?" Usagi questioned, dragging out the last word for about two syllables longer than it was ever meant to be. "No secret boyfriend to tell us about?"

Minako narrowed her eyes at her friend, but was saved from answering by Rei.

"What are you going on about, Odango? Of course Minako doesn't have a secret boyfriend, she would tell us immediately!"

"Nuh-uh, Rei-chan! Not if he's secret! The whole point is that she wouldn't tell us!" Usagi shot back, turning to Ami with pleading eyes, "Right, Ami-chan?"

Ami looked up from her book, and blinked, even though Minako knew she had been following the entire conversation with sharp ears. "Well, technically, yes, you do have point Usagi, but I don't think Mina-chan or any one of us would be very good at keeping such a thing as a boyfriend secret."

Minako shared an amused look over Usagi's head with Mako-chan at Ami diplomatic answer, who was hiding her chuckle behind the straw of her shake.

"Ha! See!" Rei grinned, cat like over her tea at Usagi, who pouted for about second. 

"But I was right about the secret part of it!"

Rei rolled her eyes, "Only you would think you're right about a being completely wrong, Odango."

And like that the subject of her atypical behaviour was dropped for lunch in exchange for one of Rei and Usagi's classical nonsensical arguments. Minako couldn't deny she was very much relieved.

—

Her relief didn't last long as after lunch she and Mako-chan walked home together. Rei and Usagi had chosen to continue their battle over a Sailor V game and Ami was going home to study, but she lived in the other direction.

The walk was quiet until they arrived at the park and Mako-chan reached into her bag for her sunglasses.

"So, Mina-chan, how come you haven't told any of us about your secret boyfriend?"

Minako almost tripped over thin air at the shock that Makoto's words hit her with. "I…I don't have a secret boyfriend!"

Makoto only gave her a knowing grin, "Mina-chan, like Ami said, if any one of us did have a secret boyfriend we would be horrible at keeping it from each other, and you are totally keeping something hidden." Makoto paused, shrugging, "You're also acting very unlike yourself."

"It's not what you guys think," Minako admitted with a sigh.

"Oh? And what do we think?"

"There's no boyfriend, there just a mess," she wrapped her arms around her stomach, wishing that the tight feeling in it would just go way.

"Minako?" Mako-chan questioned, worriedly, dropping one arm over Minako's shoulders.

Minako let herself be tucked into her friend's side, deflating. It had been a long two weeks keeping these thoughts to herself. It wasn't that she didn't think her friends would reject her, but they were all in such different places regarding the shitennou. Rei still barely acknowledged them, Ami had a tentative camaraderie with them, but was still wary and kept her distance. Usagi…well, it was no secret that the princess adored her prince's guardians like they were her own, and the Outers just didn't really deal with them.

Even Makoto was friendly with them. With Kale, most of all, ironically enough, and Minako felt she was on the outside of all these.

It would be easier if she could hide her emotions behind the screen of hostility that Rei did, but she just couldn't. Just one more reason why sometimes being attuned to love, to emotions, really sucked. If she couldn't ignore other people's feeling, how could she ignore her own?

Sure, she could bury them, push them aside, focus on other things, but she was always aware of them.

"Minako?" Makoto asked again, and Minako realised she hadn't answered her friend before.

She sighed and led Makoto to a bench.

"I went to the Shitennou's apartment a few weeks ago." Minako explained, "I still don't know why. I guess I was curious and a little jealous. Usagi-chan just seems so comfortable with them and I wanted to see what the big deal was. I mean, they're just men."

Makoto smiled softly, "Very cute men."

"Yes, they are." Minako giggled, "Anyway, I ran to Conway-san when I was there. We…we were alone for a little while."

"Mina-chan," Makoto breathed, picking up on what Minako wasn't saying much faster than she had anticipated. 

"I only meant to talk to him, but," she broke off, tilting her head back to face the sky and watched the clouds move past the sun for a few seconds, "It was still there. The pull between us, and I should have known better. I did know better."

Lifting her head from as the cloud moved away from the sun, Minako turned to Makoto, "Sometimes I hate being the Senshi of Love, because if I wasn't I could at least pretend not to know what it is I'm feeling."

Immediately she felt Makoto's arms wrap around her, "Oh, Mina-chan!" Makoto squeezed her tightly, almost threatening to cut off Minako's air supply, but Minako couldn't bring herself to care. Minako just held on to her friend, closing her eyes as tightly as she could, for the tears were to close to the surface.

By the time the sun set the two friends were still on that park bench, the Minako's head resting on the Makoto's lap, as the brunette ran gentle fingers through her hair.

—

When she arrived home that night, Artemis was clearly keeping a careful eye on her.

After her shower, as Minako brushed her hair, he crawled into her lap, purring sweetly, "Mina-chan, are you all right? Is there anything you want to talk about?"

Minako took a deep breath and set her brush down, rubbing one of Artemis' ears. "No, Artemis, I'm okay now."

"You sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure, I just needed to remember something."

Artemis looked up curiously at her. "And what was that?"

"I'm the Senshi of Love," Minako lifted him and kissed his forehead.

If Artemis understood what she meant by that he kept it to himself as she crawled into bed, humming an old tune.