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Dating Lessons
Prologue
To say that Edward Cullen was a little surprised would be the grandest understatement of the year, or perhaps the millennia.
"You've never done it? Ever?" he asked in horror.
Bella Swan flushed, but refused herself the luxury of getting defensive.
"I came very close with Mike, but somehow it just never happened. He wasn't that into me, I guess." She seemed somber, as if the thought of yet another male not being all that into her was extremely distasteful.
"Hmmm. I had always assumed. This is a lot to take in." Edward teased, resulting in a huff from his best friend. Well, his best female friend anyway. Or better yet, his only female friend if his brother's fiancée didn't count.
"Just why is my sexual status so interesting to you all of a sudden? And what difference does it make, anyway?"
Edward cocked his head thoughtfully, considering what words to use. There was a mischievous glint in his eyes, so Bella knew that whatever he was going to say should be taken with some grain of salt.
"Well, consider it like this. Your best friend is a pastry chef. By default he's supposed to be efficient in everything from éclairs to chocolate pralines. You always talk about pastries and chocolate and he gives you his point of view and knowledge as a chef. And then you find out he only knows the theory, and he never made any of those tasty morsels himself. Now, would you trust this man's opinion or advice in baking a cake?"
Bella was dumbfounded.
"Are you seriously comparing the little detail of my virginity to a pastry chef that doesn't know his craft?"
"Being a pastry chef is just an example. I'm comparing you to anyone who knows their stuff in theory, but not in action. And here we all have thought you know what you were talking about!" he mock complained.
"I object! I can have an opinion on certain issues without having the first hand experience. And I never claimed to know more than I do. I know stuff, just not all of it."
"The experience I'm talking about isn't primarily to do with hands."
"Edward!" Bella exclaimed in shock. She knew she must have been as red as a tomato by now.
"This is just what I mean, you're already blushing. In five minutes you were reduced from a young woman of the world into a blushing virgin, no pun intended. It actually looks good on you. But what are you going to do about it?"
"What do you mean 'what am I going to do about it'? What am I supposed to be doing about it?"
Bella could hear it in her own voice that she had crossed the line from testy to defensive by a mile. She didn't know exactly why it bothered her that Edward now knew about her last vestige of maidenhood, but it did bother her and she felt quite embarrassed about the show he was putting on. And it was just a show; of course it was. Why else would he seem that interested? In his own way, he had a certain flair for dramatics. And it wasn't like she had been his go-to – person about sexual advice anyway. Not that he seemed to need any, she admitted. She had, however, given him some insight into the female heart and mind. And that didn't require sexual experience.
"Well, are you just going to keep waiting for the perfect guy, Mr. Right if you will, and sit on it?"
"As opposed to what, wise guy? I'm not going to do it with just anyone for the sake of doing it. It's not like I've been holding onto it, I haven't, but I plan to be a bit picky about who I'm going all the way with."
"I didn't mean you should do it with just anyone, but I don't know if you should wait a lot longer, either," he shrugged. "You aren't getting younger."
"Then what do you suggest?"
"Maybe you need some… I don't know… dating lessons or something."
"Sex lessons?"
"Now did I say that? Although they should end in sex, I think, but first, a build up. I think you could skip the dinner and movies bit but definitely kissing and petting and groping and then into the real thing."
"Just what are you on about? Are you delusional?"
"Of course I'm not delusional. Just think of me as your coach. We're going to take care of that pesky little thing."
And then Edward ruffled her hair and smiled the smile of a mother hen.
"Awww, my little Bella is going to be a woman."