The door slammed shut and he threw his keys on the counter, bent down to take off Jethro's leash and automatically went to the cupboard for dog food, without even being aware of his actions he poured the food in Jethro's dish, put fresh water down and headed into his bedroom to change. They'd done it to him again, every time he thought he was gaining some respect, thought that they were finally treating him as an equal, they pulled something like this.

He'd opened his emails at work today to find a message from an online dating agency…he knew he shouldn't have opened it, sure he'd joined a couple of them at one time, but he'd opened up a personal email account purely for their messages; he's never, ever given out his work email. But still he had to open it.

A page of 'potential mates for Timothy McGee' was displayed, each and every one of them a convicted murderess. He glanced up quickly and could see Tony watching his every movement, and as Tim felt the heat rising in his face Tony burst out laughing.

"Thought it was about time you got back in the saddle McLonely Heart, so we selected some lovely ladies for you to choose from."

No prizes for guessing his partner in crime, Ziva's unbridled laughter echoed around the squad room. He felt sick, they honestly thought this was funny…he had to get out, in his haste to get to the men's room he didn't even notice that he'd brushed past Gibbs, narrowly avoiding spilling the precious coffee.

"What's with McGee, and what is so funny?"

Tony stifled a smile.

"We were simply trying to help our team mate get back into the dating arena Boss, doesn't look as if he approved of our choice."

Gibbs marched over to McGee's desk and took a quick look at the screen; there was no trace of amusement on his face as he turned to the two of them.

"You've gone too far this time DiNozzo, and Ziva; I'm surprised that you went along with this. Get those pictures off there before he comes back."

Gibbs toyed with the idea of following Tim, and telling him to ignore Tony's jackass behaviour, but he got a call from Ducky and after his visit to autopsy the incident in the squad room was way down on his list of priorities.

Tim splashed more cold water on his face and grabbed a paper towel, his hands were shaking…he was so angry, and not just angry; he was upset. He couldn't make light of what had happened with Amanda, he would never think of her as anything else…Oh he knew she'd only been with him because she wanted information, but he had felt something for her, and if his feelings had not been reciprocated, well it wasn't the first time that had happened in his woeful love life. But then to feel her warm blood on his hands as she breathed her last on that sidewalk, he couldn't laugh that off, nor could he find anything slightly amusing about the fact that she had been more than willing to kill him if she didn't get what she wanted. He thought he'd managed to hide his feelings pretty well, a light hearted comment about joining a monastery and everyone thought it was over. But his reaction today showed Tim that he was not over Amanda, not by a long way.

Finally feeling composed enough to face the others again; he walked back into the squad room. Gibbs was barking orders, and Tony and Ziva were grabbing back packs.

"Good of you to join us McGee! Ducky's autopsy shows that Commander Marsh's death was not a suicide – grab your gear!"

The rest of the day was spent gathering more physical evidence from Commander Marsh's home, interviewing neighbours and looking into phone and bank records. It didn't take long for a picture of marital discontent to emerge, and when Tim found a cell phone in Mrs Marsh's name on which she had made numerous calls to her gym instructor….Gibbs got them blaming each other for the murder, and they were locked up by 17.00.

Tim knew it was wrong of him, but he had been relieved that they had a big case today; he didn't think he would have been able to face a day in the office with Tony and Ziva smiling their sly secret smiles that they thought he couldn't see. At least out in the field and interrogation he didn't have to talk to them except about the case. He was glad when Gibbs told them to go home and finish their reports tomorrow. A rather chastened Tony put his hand on Tim's arm as he was leaving.

"Hey Tim, I…we, you know, it was just a joke man…"

Tim pulled his arm away.

"Not laughing here Tony."

Without another word he headed for the stairs and home.

His mood hadn't improved as he drove through the evening traffic, he did manage to make polite conversation with the dog-sitter when he collected Jethro.

"He's been out for a run Tim, should be tuckered out for the rest of the evening."

"Thanks Kym, but I don't think I ever remember Jethro saying no to another outing. See you tomorrow!"

Jethro seemed to sense Tim's mood, and his greeting was more effusive than usual. Tim managed a gentle laugh.

"Come on boy; let's get you home; before you smother me."

That brief moment of pleasure had faded again by the time he'd parked the car and walked up to his apartment, all he could think of was the dreaded prospect of facing them again tomorrow….He had no appetite, the way he was feeling supper was likely to choke him, so he made some fresh coffee and sat down at his typewriter; perhaps if he cleared his mind and concentrated on his writing he could erase the image of Ziva and Tony laughing.

Forty minutes later, all he had to show for his efforts was a pile of paper for shredding in the morning. He could feel the tension in his neck, and he knew that a headache was not far away, fresh air, that's what he needed.

"Come on Jethro, let's get out of here."

Tim grabbed his ipod, his keys; slipped on Jethro's leash and practically ran out of the apartment. The night was cool and clear, Tim flicked through the playlist on his ipod, he was looking for something that matched his mood; yes, that would do it; Dear Agony by Breaking Benjamin, he turned up the volume and matched his stride with Jethro as the dog pulled towards the local park. Tim took deep breaths of the cool night air as they strode along the sidewalk, the music filled his head, and for a time he could forget what had made him so angry.

He never heard the car, and he saw it too late. Jethro was pulled from his grasp as the car struck and Tim had a momentary glimpse of his still body before he was thrown against a wall. For what seemed like an eternity everything was still and silent, then Tim heard a whimper of pain, Jethro! He ran to his dog and knelt down on the ground beside him.

"Oh Jethro, I'm so sorry....."

He reached into his pocket for his phone, Jethro needed help. But his phone wasn't there...he'd left it behind when he high-tailed it out of the apartment.

"Are you okay?"

A Metro PD Officer was leaning over Tim. Someone had already reported a car being driven erratically and they had been despatched to intercept.

"We saw him jump the kerb, did he hit you?"

Tim was stroking Jethro and hadn't raised his head.

"No...not really, not me...my dog, he's hurt....it's bad I think."

"Let me look."

Officer Kramer knelt beside Tim, and winced as he heard the dog whimpering quietly, this looked really bad.

"Look sir, there's a veterinary hospital a few blocks from here, let me help you and we'll get the dog..."

"Jethro,"

"We'll get Jethro into the car and get him help as fast as we can."

This seemed to shake Tim from his lethargy and he helped the officer to lift Jethro very gently into the police car. It was thirty minutes later when the vet sat beside Tim in the waiting room.

"I'm sorry sir...Jethro's internal injuries are too severe, there's nothing we can do for him."

"No! No, please you have to do something, I have money, I can pay..."

"It's not a question of money; there really is nothing we can do, except..."

Tim was suddenly hopeful, but the Doctor Norton shook his head.

"All we can do is put an end to his suffering..."

He sat quietly beside Tim as he waited for the reality to filter through the denial.

"You mean...."

Doctor Norton nodded.

"I'm afraid so, but it is for the best, he could linger for several hours...and it would be kinder to end it now..."

"Can I see him?"

"Of course, if you would like, you can stay with him....it's a peaceful process..."

Tim considered for a moment, and nodded just once.

"I should be with him; it's because of me that he's here."

It wasn't the vet's place to ask questions, and the police officer who'd brought them in had simply said a car had hit the dog, he hadn't given details. Doctor Norton led Tim towards the surgery.

"Jethro is in there….I'll let you have a moment alone…."

Tim stumbled a little when he saw Jethro lying on the metal table; this antiseptic room was too much like Autopsy. Hesitantly he put out his hand to stroke behind Jethro's ears; two pain filled, deep brown eyes gazed up at him, and hurt as he was Jethro's tail wagged weakly. That nearly broke Tim's heart.

Dr Norton entered the surgery carrying a syringe resting on a stainless steel tray.

"Are you ready?"

Tim leaned down and whispered.

"I'm so sorry Jethro...I...I'll miss you...I'm sorry..."

From the corner of his eye Tim could see Dr Norton insert the syringe in Jethro's neck, and Tim continued to stroke him and whisper to him until he saw the pain leave Jethro's eyes and he was at peace. With tears rolling down his cheeks Tim tried to thank the vet...he needed several attempts before he could force out the words.

"You did all...you could Doctor...thank you for trying....the account...I should pay...who do I pay?"

"Don't worry about that now Mr McGee, we have your contact details, we'll be in touch in a few days...."

Tim was vaguely aware that he agreed to have Jethro cremated, and that he would collect the...remains at a later date. He turned down the receptionist's offer to call a cab for him, and walked out into the cold night air once more. He couldn't face the idea of an empty apartment, not right now; so he started to walk.....

One step in front of the other, it was a simple enough process, so how come it seemed to be so hard...walking with Jethro had been a joy, the dog found pleasure in everything, racing after a ball, snuffling through the undergrowth; running with other dogs at the dog park, and always his tail wagging. He had been such great company; always there for him at the end of a bad day; and now, he'd killed him. His stupid, pathetic anger had caused the death of his friend, the only friend who never laughed at him, who'd taught him to see the world in new ways; who had loved him unconditionally; and now he was alone...

He gave a loud sob as he realised the finality of what he had done; he'd allowed them to kill Jethro...he tried to stifle the sobs; if anyone else was on the street they would think he was a crazy guy. He needed to talk to someone; this was too hard to deal with alone. But he didn't have his cell, he'd stormed out of his apartment in such a rage that it had been left on his desk at home. Who would he call? Sarah was in the middle of exams, he couldn't add to her stress. Gibbs would probably laugh at his stupid sentimentality; Ducky had only just returned from speaking at a conference in Edinburgh, he'd still be jet-lagged. Tony or Ziva? No way! Give them another stick to beat him with....Abby; she'd hate him for letting Jethro die, heck, he hated himself. He'd been so mad that he hadn't been paying attention to traffic...if he'd seen the car, heard it....he could have pulled Jethro out of the way, but he had been so wrapped up in himself, and now...

He kept walking, slowly, ponderously step by step, anything to delay the return to an empty apartment, to Jethro's dishes on the kitchen floor… He couldn't cry any longer, the tears had run dry, but it hurt, like a dagger in his chest, the loss of his dog was painful....but as he continued his aimless walking, the thought occurred to him; maybe it wasn't just losing Jethro that hurt...Tim remembered hitting the wall, but he'd been so worried about Jethro that it never entered his mind that he could be injured. It was starting to hurt if he tried to take a deep breath, the cold air setting his lungs on fire...maybe it was time he was getting back home...time to call a cab. But when he looked around there was no traffic, no streets, his feet were wet...where was he?