"Teaching Troubles"
By NocturnalFerri
Disclaimer: Of course I don't own them. If I did, well, my name would be in pretty gold foil on the book cover instead of JK Rowling. All hail JK Rowling!!
AN: Yeah, I know the title's pretty stupid, and it doesn't quite sound right relative to the story, but hey, it's all I could some up with. Btw, it's my first HP fic, so excuse the slight OOC-ing.
Hogwarts, her home of seven and a half years. Hermione looked out at the four rows of tables before the staff table, the table she was sitting at that very moment. After an unfortunate incident that left the History of Magic teacher unable to teach, Dumbledore had asked her to temporarily leave her nice little secure job at the ministry to fill the vacancy. She was beginning to like the job very much. Her students were wonderful, there weren't too many pranksters, and best of all, her fiancé was there as well. Harry sat on her left, attacking his toast with a butter-laden knife. He was, predictably, the replacement Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor. After a bad streak of ten different professors lasting no longer than three terms, the job had fallen to Harry, who seemed to be the only one willing to take a swing at it.
Hermione nervously fiddled with her fork and knife, pushing her square of butter around her plate. After smearing the whole thing into non-existence she asked Harry, "Did you hear about the evaluations?"
Harry looked at her from behind a mug of coffee. "Evaluations? Whatever do you mean?"
She frowned at him. "Don't play dumb Harry. You know very well what I'm talking about."
Harry set his mug down. "Fine, I did hear about them. Why do you ask?"
"Well, aren't you nervous?" said Hermione anxiously. "I don't even know what to expect." She wrung her hands.
Harry grinned. "Annoyed you can't study for it?"
"Very funny, Harry." Scowled Hermione. "What am I supposed to do?
"Teach, obviously." Said Harry with a shrug. Hermione sent him an annoyed impatient look. "I'm serious Hermione. All that happens is a couple fellow professors comes in and observes you teaching. You get a rating afterwards."
Hermione growled. "I hate being watched."
"You'll be fine." Assured Harry. "One test is just an observation of your teaching. Someone's supposed watch you teach. That's all. The second, well, I don't know too much about it, but it's supposed to be a practical exam."
"How do you know about this anyway?" said Hermione suspiciously.
"I have my sources." Grinned Harry mischievously.
Hermione sighed. "What am I going to do with you?"
"Throw me in detention?"
"I most certainly will." Said Hermione. The breakfast plates disappeared signaling the end of the meal. She stood from the table.
"You'll be fine." Repeated Harry. He took her hand in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
Hermione wrung her hands nervously as her second year Slytherin / Hufflepuff class filed out. That was her fourth class of the day and still no one had come in to test her. She was starting tot get worried. Perhaps they had forgotten about her. Perhaps she should send someone to ask about it. Perhaps that is what she should do. Hermione searched her desk for a scrap piece of parchment. In mid-search, the door sounded and Harry poked his head into the classroom.
"'Lo Hermione." He cleared his throat. "Uh, Professor Granger I mean." He looked about the room. "May I take a moment of your time?"
"Sure, come on in Harry."
Harry waltzed to the front of the room and leaned on one of the desks. "How'd your test go?"
"I don't know!" She moaned. "No one has come in to test me yet." She paced a short section of the room. "Do you think they forgot about me?"
"You?" scoffed Harry. "Head girl of seven years straight? Right." He rolled his eyes.
"I'm serious Harry!" scolded Hermione. "What if, what if they thought I didn't deserve to be a professor and did away with my test?"
"You know that's not true." Said Harry. up, Hermione. Don't fret. I'm sure they didn't forget about you. You still have two more classes."
Hermione nodded. "Right." The door opened once more and the 4th year Gryffindor / Ravenclaw class started to file in. "Well, it was nice talking to you Professor Potter." She started to walk to the front of her class. Harry caught her arm.
"Professor, do you think I could sit in on your class? This is my free period."
Hermione looked at him oddly. "Why?"
Harry grinned sheepishly. "Well, Snape has a free period and he usually spends it in the staff common room…and you know how I hate being glared at while I mark my papers there."
"Why don't you go to your office?"
"Too quiet."
"Well…"
"Please Hermione?" Harry pleaded. "Please please please?" She looked around the classroom. It looked like the entire class was there.
Hermione sighed, as she looked into Harry's irresistible green eyes. "Oh fine." She went to the front and began her lesson. "Good afternoon. I trust your Magical of Creatures Class went well?"
The Gryffindors looked a bit raggedly at each other. They had a tendency of coming to her class with scorch marks since they had Hagrid's class before hers. One of them raised their hand to reply. "Just fine Professor. We're doing, uh…Blast-Ended Skrewts."
Hermione and Harry exchanged looks. "Hmm, you can learn a lot from them."
"Yeah, not to go near their claws." Interjected Harry. The whole class turned to look at him in surprise. A ripple of murmurings sounded through the room. Hermione sighed. She should have known he'd cause a commotion. She sent a slightly annoyed look at Harry.
"Class, I'm sure you all know Professor Potter." Said Hermione.
"He's our Defense Against the Dark Arts professor." Piped a student.
"Loads better than the last one." Added a girl Ravenclaw with a slight blush.
"Why thank you," grinned Harry. He stood, bowed and sat down. The class laughed.
Hermione cleared her throat. "Don't mind him. He has nothing else to do."
Harry nodded in agreement. "So keep you minds on Professor Granger's lesson. There's just so much to learn about the history of magic and there's no better teacher to teach it than Professor Granger." He said seriously. Hermione narrowed her eyes at him. She wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic or genuine. He pulled out a roll of parchment, quill and inkbottle from his briefcase. "I'll be taking meticulous notes. I suggest you all do the same." He smiled sweetly at Hermione.
"Right…" Hermione frowned. Something fishy was going on here. "On to our lesson. The lesson began well. They had started Muggle vs. Wizard artifacts the day before. "Muggles developed interesting ways to make up for their inability to access magic. Mail carriers instead of Owls, cars and the underground instead of apparition and broomsticks…you'll learn more about them if you decide to take up Muggle studies. A very interesting course I assure you."
Before she could list any more reasons to take Muggle studies, a loud bang echoed off the walls of the classroom, rattling the inkbottles on each and every desk. Sparkles shot through the air. Hermione planted her hands on her hips knowing fully well what it was. "Blast it, a Filibuster Firework!" She waved her wand at the sparkles, now drifting down onto the students like confetti, performing the counter spell to it. "All right, who was it?" the class was silent as they cast questioning looks at each other. No one spoke up. "Professor Potter. Did you see who it was?"
Harry shook his head. "Sorry."
Hermione pursed her lips. "Who ever it was had better not do it again." She cleared her throat and turned to her black board. "Muggles-
A cloud of multicolored smoke exploded upwards from her feet. Hermione batted away at the wisps of smoke. "What the-?" Her foot knocked into a dung bomb. Two more rolled to a stop by her sides, releasing more putrid smoke at her. "Fay! Gregory! Open those windows!" Two boys closest to the windows leapt from their seats to throw open them. After the smoke had cleared slightly, Hermione scanned her student's faces. All of them were laughing so it was hard to tell who the prankster would be. Then again, the dung bombs had come from directly in front of her. So, whoever it was would be sitting on the left side of the room. She looked at the left side students. Most of them she trusted not to pull such childish pranks on her. Harry was sitting in the back, and she was sure it wasn't him…but, then again… It did sound like something he would do…"Professor Potter!"
"Yes?" answered Harry.
"Do you an idea who the prankster is?"
Harry made a show of tapping his chin in deep thought. "Well, I do…but I don't think it was them."
"Who?"
"Well, I was thinking of Fred and George Weasley," he looked at the class. "They were a couple of Hogswarts' infamous pranksters by the way, but they're in Hogsmeade and they couldn't have done it," he grinned. "But you never know." The class laughed. Hermione scowled hard at him.
"Why do I have a feeling it was you?"
"Because we were infamous too?" said Harry. The class gasped.
"Professor Granger was a prankster?" exclaimed one of the Gryffindor boys.
"No!" said Hermione firmly. "I'm most certainly not." She shook her head. "I don't have time for this nonsense. Was it or was it not you, Professor Potter?"
Harry shrugged innocently at her. "I've been sitting here quietly, taking my notes and you accuse me of puling such childish pranks?" Honestly!" He made a show of being offended.
Hermione shook her head at him, more suspicious than ever. "I'll be watching you, Professor.
"And I'll be watching you, Professor." Harry echoed, waving his quill at her. "Continue with your lesson, I can't wait to hear more about Muggles."
Hermione glared at him one last time before marching back to her desk. "Turn to page 457 of your textbook."
The sound of 20 odd books opening filled the room. Hermione pulled her own book from a shelf. Before she could open it, the book flew up into the air. It was opened in half so that the two sections flapped like wings. "Come down here this instant!" she scolded at the book. It still refused to come down. She tried waving her wand at it to send the counter curse but the book wouldn't hold still. Hermione tried reaching up to grab it manually but it flew even higher.
The students who weren't giggling offered a hand to their poor teacher, throwing their books at it in an attempt to get it down.
She looked over at Harry. He was idly tapping his quill against his head. His wand was nowhere in sight. "Whoever it is, stop it this instant!"
As if on command, the book dropped onto her head. Hermione frowned. "Very funny." The class was trying to be polite and hid their giggles from behind hands. Only Harry was brave enough, or stupid enough to smile openly. Hermione breathed in deeply and counted to ten before saying. "Professor Potter?"
"Yes, Professor Granger?"
"You are trying my patience."
"Yes, I believe I am." Harry kept his expression completely serious, causing a new wave of snickering from her class.
"I will not tolerate this." She marched over to his desk and stuck her hand out. Harry looked at it, stood, bowed, kissed her hand and shook it vigorously.
"Nice to meet you." Hermione yanked her hand away and held it open again. The class was in an uproar of giggles.
"Your wand Professor."
"My wand?" exclaimed Harry.
"Yes, your wand." Hermione glared at him. Harry gulped. It didn't look too good for poor Professor Potter. She had on one of those McGonagall looks. Specifically the one that meant that whoever was receiving it was in major trouble. He had gotten that one plenty of times and knew it quite well. "Give it now."
Harry reluctantly handed her his wand. Hermione gripped it tightly in her hand. "Thank you." no sooner did the words come out from her mouth did the wand transform into a yellow rubber chicken.
"You're welcome."
Hermione stared open mouthed at the rubber chicken. She tilted the chicken to the side and found the Weasley Works Stamp. "I don't believe you."
"Who said you had to?" there was a chorus of 'oohs' from the class. Hermione whipped her head around and sent them all glares. The room became deathly silent.
"Your real wand, Potter." Said Hermione, sticking out her hand again. "No, forget that. All of your wands."
"All?"
"Yes."
Harry grunted something about being inconvenienced and pulled out a wand from his right outer pocket and handed it to her. It also turned into a chicken. He pulled out another from his left outer pocket and gave it to her. It turned into a bouquet of flowers. He reached into his left inner cloak pocket, retrieving another rubber chicken wand. The process was repeated for all of his pants pockets, cloak pockets, belt hooks, pants cuffs, and socks leaving a pile of wands 5 inches high in Hermione's arms. "Hmm, that seems about it."
The very miffed looking woman glaring at him didn't seem satisfied yet. "Your real wand." Harry moaned a bit but reached back into the cloak and took the wand from his belt. He clutched it to his chest like a child gripping a teddy bear.
"You're gonna give it back to me, right?"
"After class. Now give it here." Harry clutched the wand even harder looking extremely childish.
"Nuh uh, not until you promise."
"I promise."
The whipped puppy look on Harry's face disappeared as quickly as it appeared. He gave it to her. "Guard it with your life." He stage whispered.
Hermione scowled, turned on her heel, and dumped the wands into a drawer. She tucked the real wand into her inner cloak pocket. "Anything else, professor?"
Harry dug around his pockets a bit more. He presented her with a yellow wrapped treat. "Care for a canary cream?" Hermione bit her lip, took the pastry, and chucked it into the garbage. "Hey! That was my lunch!"
Hermione set her jaw and tried to continue with the lesson. "As I was saying…the discovery of electricity was by Benjamin Franklin, a Muggle inventor, who just happened to be at the right place at the right time. The day he chose to perform his experiment was the exact day the Warlock Trong chose to interfere with the weather patterns…what seems to be so funny?" Hermione planted her hands on her hips as she took notice of the scattered giggles around her class. Their eyes were fixed behind her. "OH dear…" muttered Hermione, knowing it wasn't going to be good. She turned around to see a piece of chalk scratching words on the board. That was typical. She had hexed it so that she could dictate the notes for it to write. Apparently, it wasn't under her control anymore. It was playing tic-tac-toe against itself and was losing…or was it winning. "What?" The chalk abandoned the game and proceeded to draw a rather unflattering caricature of a very ugly cat.
"That's Mrs. Norris!" cried out one of the boys.
"I thought it was Professor Snape." Admitted another.
The chalk seemed to like that comment, for it then scribbled on the board, "Mrs. Norris would be insulted."
Hermione scowled. "All right. Stop that this instant. That's enough interruptions for today."
The chalk made a picture of a very sad looking face. "That's not going to work with me." Scolded Hermione. "Stop it."
The chalk swayed side to side a bit, as if contemplating its decision. It then wrote. "Sure." It flew into the chalk box.
Hermione sighed and rubbed her temples. "Sorry for that. Class, you're going to have to take dictation until I find out prankster." They groaned slightly. "Let's continue
Half way through her wizardized explanation of electricity, she heard a faint murmuring in the back. Harry was whispering with the semicircle of students near his desk. All of them seemed to be on the verge of hysteric collapse from held in laughter.
"So the troll said to the hag and leprechaun…"
"Professor Potter."
"…But you're sitting on my popcorn!"
"Professor Potter!"
Harry stopped in mid joke. "Yes Professor?"
Hermione glared at him. " Since you're in such a talkative mood, would you like to explain to the class why Muggle artifacts do not work within Hogwarts?"
"Gosh professor, I don't know," said Harry. "I've always wondered that myself. I mean, my calculator hasn't worked in ages, not to mention my digital watch."
"Harry, I've only explained it to you and Ron a million times." Sighed Hermione.
Harry disapprovingly tutted at her. "Professor Granger, you're getting to be rather informal aren't you? I'm 'Professor' Potter. Really, you must set a better example for your students."
She gritted her teeth. "Professor Potter."
"That's better." Harry snapped his fingers. "Eureka! I do believe the explanation has come back to me. Isn't' it because of all the magic in the air? It causes Muggle things to go haywire."
Hermione threw her hands in the air. "Something has finally gotten through that thick skull of yours!"
"I really should get a camcorder in here to tape that look on your face," said Harry, using his fingers to frame Hermione's face. "It's priceless."
"You can't use camcorders here!" said Hermione.
"Oh yeah," Harry smacked his forehead in a 'duh' type motion. "I forgot."
Hermione clenched her fists. "I don't believe this!" She turned to her class and sighed loudly. "If all of you would like to see graduation day, do not behave like Professor Potter. If you do, it will only land you in either Azkaban or an asylum."
The class laughed. Not so much because of their professor's comment, but of how their professor looked. She was all red in the face and positively furious. If smoke could come out of her ears, it would. She was usually even-tempered, even if of them did something ridiculously stupid. Apparently, even she had her limits. Professor Potter had apparently stuck a nerve, several in fact.
"Turn to page 387 of your text and read the insert at the top right corner." She instructed, calming down slightly. The students went to work. Hermione folded her arms across her chest and turned away from the class to properly fume to herself.
Harry smiled sympathetically at Hermione. He didn't mean to be such a pain, but someone had to do it. He set down his quill, folded up the parchment he had been scribbling on and tucked it into his inner pocket. Finally, he looked up at Hermione and said softly. "I'm sorry Professor."
Hermione sent him a brief icy look before turning away from him again. "Save it Potter."
Harry cringed. Ouch, she really was angry. She wasn't even calling him Professor anymore. He stood up and walked towards the front of the classroom to where she was standing. "Really I am." He spread his arms to the side.
"What on earth caused you to act so…so…nutters?" hissed Hermione. "You know I was already strung up because of the examinations."
"I just thought you'd appreciate some fun."
"This was not my idea of fun."
By then, the whole class had started to look up, interested in what their professor would do. Harry was standing behind Hermione. "Let me make it up to you."
Hermione managed to turn partially around before Harry seized her by the waist and pulled her toward him. Their lips smashed together. Loud exclamations of surprise filled the room as twenty eyes went wide watching their lip locked professors. The smashed lips turned into kissing lips, which turned into seriously kissing lips. Apparently in her surprise, Hermione had forgotten her anger…and pretty much everything else.
A handful of students started to whistle and catcall at them. A few more just plain cheered for them. Another started crooning some outdated love song, while someone took a picture. Not of the Senatra-wannabe, but of the sucking face professors.
Hermione's awareness returned several long seconds after the flash of the camera. Her eyes went wide and she franticly shoved Harry away from her. Harry lost his balance and landed butt first on the floor. The shock in her eyes narrowed into glowering slits as they locked onto Harry's mischievously gleaming ones. "Potter! You are out of line! Ooohhh you are sooo out of line!"
Harry threw his best puppy eyes at her as he picked himself off the floor. Hermione shook her finger at him. "Oh no you don't! That's not going to work this time! 20 points from Gryffindor!"
The Gryffindor half of the class exploded at her.
"But he's not a student!"
"He's a Professor!
"He's not Gryffindor!"
"You can't demerit Professors!"
"That's not fair!"
Hermione took a deep breath and re thought her options. No, de-meriting the Gryffindors wouldn't solve anything. "You're right. Cancel that demerit." The class heaved one giant sigh of relief.
"That's fair." Agreed Harry. He was immediately quieted by the glare Hermione was sending him.
"I'm not done with you Potter."
To Harry's relief, the school bells chose that moment to end the class. The class leapt to their feet, already packing their bags. Several were already mere steps away from the door. Hermione tore her eyes from Harry to call out. "Remember to write a one and a half foot long essay on the first use of Muggle repellant spells." The class groaned. "Professor Potter's impudence is not excuse for not doing your homework." She watched the last of her class leave the room. She turned back around to yell at Harry some more but found only empty air. Hermione darted her eyes around the room. Harry had crept to the back of the room and was trying to make a quick escape.
"Not so fast Harry." He cringed as Hermione marched up to him. "What do you think you were doing? That last stunt of yours could put our jobs at risk! That's indecent behavior! Improper conduct of Professors! If anyone found out about that…that…that! We could get kicked out!"
"Professors are allowed to kiss you know." Said Harry smartly. "We're not monks or anything."
"But in front of a class?" shrieked Hermione. "How would you feel if Professor Snape started snogging some girl during class?"
A horrified look overcame Harry's face. "That's disturbing."
"My point exactly."
"But that snogging idea was pretty good." Said Harry thoughtfully. "Maybe I should stop by tomorrow…"
"Oh no you don't!"
Harry smoothed out his sleeves. "Well, I have to get going. I told Professor Dumbledore I'd pay him a visit." His grinned at her and raised his hand, palm out at her. "Accio wand!"
Hermione felt Harry's wand vibrate her inner cloak pocket and shoot out towards Harry. He caught it overhand in the air. "Thanks." He headed for the door.
"Harry! I'm not done yelling at you yet."
Harry pulled the door open and stepped half way out. "Oh, you can keep the prank wands. Thanks for the great lesson, Professor. Mischief managed!" He shut the door.
"Get back here you git!" yelled Hermione. She ran to the door and yanked it open. The hall was completely empty. It was like Harry had disapperated, but she knew he couldn't have. No one can appereate or disapperate within Hogwarts grounds.
Hermione turned around and marched back into her classroom. She leaned against one of the desks and rubbed her forehead. "I don't believe this is happening."
"What is happening?"
Hermione jumped in surprise. An odd looking tabby sat patiently on the windowsill. The professor sighed. "Oh, Professor McGonagall. I didn't hear you."
The cat jumped off the windowsill and landed on the floor as a human witch.
"Am I disturbing you, Professor Granger?" she asked.
"No, not at all." Hermione swept back a stray lock of hair. "What brings you here Professor?"
"Professor Dumbledore would like to see you in his office."
Hermione blanched. "Is this about my examinations? I didn't even take them yet. Is there a reason I didn't take them yet?"
"Dumbledore will explain everything." Said McGonagall. Please come with me." She led a very nervous looking Hermione out the door and down the hall.
Hermione wrung her hands within her cloak sleeves. She hadn't been this shaken since…since…since the first time she was called to Dumbledore's office.
The two women reached the wall that would lead them to Dumbledore's office. McGonagall said the password ("dungbombs") and marched her in.
Two men were already there. Dumbledore was standing behind his desk, looking every bit the part of a school headmaster who just happens to be one of the best wizard of all time. The other was standing by his desk, speaking in serious tones, occasionally revering to a series of parchment papers in his hands. As soon as the heels of Hermione's shoes clicked upon the stone of Dumbledore's office, the younger man turned, recognizing her presence. He nodded with a smile. "Hermione."
Hermione blinked a couple times. "Harry? What are you doing here?" She looked back and forth between a smiling Dumbledore and Harry. She nearly panicked. "If this is about what happened during class, I can explain. We…uh…" Dumbledore held up a silencing hand.
"Do not worry, Professor Granger. I know all about it." Hermione stiffened. "We are not here to talk about Professor Potter and your exploits." He gave his wand a little flick, and three chairs appeared before his desk. "Please, have a seat." As the three other professors sat, Dumbledore perched himself on the front of his desk. "I have your examination results."
"But- Bu t I haven't even taken them yet." Protested Hermione.
Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "Is that what you think?" Hermione opened her mouth then closed it quickly. It was best not to question him. "The first test, was an observation of your teaching abilities during a controlled lesson."
"When was that?" said Hermione.
"Second period," Said Professor McGonagall as a matter-of-factly. "Really Hermione, I'm surprised you did not see me sitting in the back."
Hermione blinked, suddenly remembering an odd-looking cat curled on top of an unoccupied desk. She had assumed it was a student's pet. "Why didn't you tell me? I didn't have time to prepare."
"If you had known I was there, you would have acted differently then how you usually would." Pointed out McGonagall. She had a point.
"What is my grade?" Hermione braced herself.
McGonagall looked at Dumbledore for permission. He nodded. "I thought you teaching methods were exemplarily. You asked the appropriate questions at the appropriate times. You encouraged your students without favoring anyone. Your lesson was well planned and organized. Full marks, Professor Granger." Hermione sighed with relief.
"Thank you Professor McGonagall."
"You've earned it, Hermione." Professor McGonagall smiled approvingly.
Hermione turned to Dumbledore. What of the second part of the examination."
Dumbledore smiled broadly. So did Professor McGonagall and most especially, Harry. "I believe you know that part of the examination." Hermione's face remained blank. "It was a practical. While your previous exploits with Professor potter here, and Mr. Ron Weasely are well noted, we needed to see your reactions in an outrageous unexpected classroom situation."
"What do you-" Hermione abruptly cut off and whirled around to stare wide-eyed at the man next to her. "Harry?"
Dumbledore nodded on Harry's behalf, for the young man was too busy trying not to laugh to give an appropriate response. "Yes, Professor potter was your examiner."
"You mean- you mean-" Hermione cut her self off again, trying to get a better grip on her words. They didn't seem to be forming correctly at the moment. "You mean all of those pranks were part of the test?"
"Yes." Said Harry, choking back a laugh.
"How is that a test?" protested Hermione.
"The Dungbombs tested your ability to cope with an 'attack' situation." Said Harry. "You immediately had the windows opened, thus securing the safely of your students."
"What about the book?"
"To instigate your suspicious." Grinned Harry.
"And the wand?"
"To see how you would react to an annoying student who was disturbing your class. You confiscated the disruptive articles yet remained fair in punishment." Said Harry. "You took away my wand but promised to give it back. Well, I took it back myself, but I know you would have. Given it back if I had asked."
"I would have." Agreed Hermione. "What about the chalk?"
"How you dealt with an apparition type situation." Said Harry. "Mainly if you could keep someone like Peeves in check."
"And your chattering during class?"
"Tested the same thing. You stopped my from talking, without a mute spell, caught my attention and resumed your lesson."
"So you were being a pain just to see how I would react?" said Hermione Harry nodded. "I should have known."
"The beauty of it is, you didn't," said Harry. "Like Professor McGonagall said, you would have acted differently if you had known."
But why you?" asked Hermione aspirated.
Dumbledore laughed. "He's the son of one of Hogwarts' most infamous pranksters. Mischief comes naturally to him."
An odd look overcame Harry's face. "Ah, shall I take that as a compliment?"
"It would be wise." Said McGonagall delicately.
"And…how did I do?" asked Hermione. "I couldn't have done very well. I did get very angry at you."
Harry shook his head. "Hermione, the point isn't that you got seriously pissed at me." He ignored the disapproving look McGonagall was giving him for the paraphrasing. "But that you didn't lose your control. I mean, you didn't turn me into a ferret or something as a punishment. You remained fair. You took off house points only when really necessary, and you weren't too lenient with giving points. Those are qualities of a good teacher."
"So," Hermione repeated. "How did I do?"
Harry rolled his eyes. "What else would the head girl of seven years get? Full marks."
Dumbledore extended his hand to Hermione. "Congratulations Hermione. I hereby bestow upon you the order of Merlin-Professorship certification" He handed her a foil-gilded parchment bearing various seals and such with her name in bold print.
"Thank you Professor Dumbledore." Said Hermione gratefully. She shook McGonagall's hand as well. When she reached Harry, he had a very sheepish look on his face.
"Sorry for being such a pain, Hermione."
"That's all right." Said Hermione. "You did what was expected of you."
"It was kind of fun though." Said Harry as an afterthought. "Ow!" He rubbed his shoulder where Hermione had playfully slapped him. "I should take off points for that." Hermione laughed and shook her head.
"Wait a second." Said Hermione realizing something. "Harry, you still need to take your test. But you already know what's on it."
"Harry took his test last month." Said Dumbledore. "I knew I was going to assign him as your examiner and I had him take the test earlier."
Hermione gave Harry a bemused look. "So who was your practical examiner?"
Harry scowled. "Moaning Myrtle." Hermione dissolved into a fit of laughter. "It's not that funny. "He protested.
"Even after she asked you to move in with her? In the next stall of the girl's bathroom?" asked McGonagall.
"Er…" Harry started backing out the door. "If you don't mind, professors," he nodded to McGonagall and Dumbledore. "We have classes to prepare for." He tugged on Hermione's sleeve in the universally understood sign for 'let's get out of here'.
As soon as the pair entered the corridor, Hermione asked the question that had been bothering her trough out the meeting. "What was the point of that last prank?"
"What? The 'me practically snogging you in front of class' thing?" asked Harry.
Hermione went completely red. Yes." She replied in a very small voice.
"Oh, that was just to see how far I could push you. You didn't crack. So that gave you full credit." Harry grinned. "Besides, I thought it would be fun."
"But that…what will the students think?"
Harry waved his hand dismissively. "I wouldn't worry about it."
"And why not?" said Hermione, planting her hands on her hips.
"I paid Hagrid's Gryffindor class and Snape's Ravenclaw class a visit before your class," said Harry with a wink.
"You mean you had them in on it?" said Hermione.
"Yes. They were more than willing to participate in the hyjinx. I made them all swear not to let out a word what went on during your class."
Hermione frowned. "I was beginning to wonder why they were all so…rowdy. They're usually one of my best-behaved classes." They descended the stairs into the classroom hallway. "How did you do those pranks, anyway?"
"I *am* the defense against the dark arts professor," said Harry as if it were painfully obvious. "I do have a few tricks up my sleeve."
Hermione rolled her eyes. "The marauders would be so proud."
"I know. I got the idea from Sirius and Remus."
"Why am I not surprised? Remind me to throttle them the next time I see them."
"Will do. I can't let them miss out on all of the fun. You wouldn't believe how much fun I had annoying you. I mean, your face was surely priceless. I wonder I can find the girl that took the picture. It would look quite lovely on my night stand."
"Harry, dear?" said Hermione sweetly.
"Yes?"
"It's not too late for me to turn you into a ferret." Harry flicked his eyes down to the wand Hermione was clutching in her hand.
"You wouldn't."
"Try me."
"I most certainly wont." Harry made a sharp about face and made a hastily retreat. He was half way down the hall before Hermione permitted herself a smile of achievement. She made a move to pocket her wand when it suddenly didn't fit into its holder. She looked down at the wand-turned-rubber chicken in her hand
"Harry Potter!!"
He broke into a run, the sparking of ferret spells shooting wildly behind him.