Disclaimer: Any of the characters you recognize from the Twilight series belong to Stephanie Meyer. Any other characters belong to the talented author, yay4shanghai. Her stories are my favorites and you can find her in my favorite authors list on my profile. There are also five other amazing authors doing spin off in yay4shanghai universe; liljenrocks, ari11990, AsagariMelody, Guzhong, and twihardcaligurl, dll10, twilightheart21.

A/N: I'm so sorry about the wait! I've been so busy lately, but I will try to get chapters coming faster now that summer is coming.

Ava's POV

It's hard to pretend you love someone when you don't.

But it's harder to pretend you don't love someone when you really do.
December 11th 2045

"Harrison, be quite!" Hope whispered in an exasperated tone to Harrison.

"Why are we scaring her? It's her birthday; we supposed to be nice to her!" Harrison yelled confused and I smiled at his adorable theory. I was fifteen today and although fifteen wasn't much different than fourteen, no birthdays were ever ignored in my house.

In the last few weeks things had gotten better, not great or perfect just yet, but better. After a long talk with Chloe after my first kiss with Josh, she explained to me that Josh didn't have to be Eli. Eli had a girlfriend and if I wasted my time waiting around for him, I could lose the good thing I had in front of me. He was sweet, something I realized as we spent more and more time together, but sometimes I wondered; what would this be like if with Eli? Even though I knew I couldn't control these feelings that I'd condemned to the back of my mind, I still felt immense guilt over it. It was my birthday and what I wanted most was one stress and guilt free day, which I hoped on having today.

I kept my eyes shut for Hope and Harrison's benefit as the door squeaked, signaling their entrance. I felt two equally tiny bodies jump on my bed and they both burst out into laughter.

"Happy birthday, Ava!" they both yelled and I opened my eyes before smiling happily at the two. Harrison hugged me and I kissed his adorable face repeatedly.

"How old are you?" Harrison asked and Hope sat down on the edge of the bed with her legs crossed.

"Fifteen," I said proudly because in my ears, it did sound better than fourteen.

Harrison's crystal emerald eyes, identical to Phil's, widened, "You're so old, sissy!" he squealed before bursting into child like giggles.

"Oh, I know," I agreed teasingly as he extended his arms up for me to pick him up. As soon as we reached the hall way, the sweet smell of French toast invaded my nose. I heard my mom and Phil talking softly below us, but it was way too quiet for Chloe to be up. She'd had a long night, leaving with Sebastian around one in the morning and not returning via window until after seven.

"Happy birthday Angel," Phil said and kissed my forehead lovingly. He'd been there for every birthday since my fourth and always spoiled Chloe and me completely rotten. He was my dad for all intents and purposes, a fantastic one too, but my birthdays always made me think of a certain man by the name of Nicholas Ambrosia. Did he know what today was? Did he remember that exactly fifteen years ago to this day that his daughter that he never tried to know was born? He probably didn't and although I didn't need him, it still hurt.

"Thanks Dad," I replied as Harrison squirmed in my arms, demanding silently to be put down. He ran happily into the living room where I could hear him pushing his toy car around that Solace had bought him.

"Eli texted you," Hope said as she strolled into the kitchen with my cell phone in her tiny hand. Her words caused my heart to accelerate at a rate that couldn't be healthy. The length of time from the last time I'd spoke to him was unknown, making any communication with him important.

Happy Birthday Ava! The text was small, so insignificant, but it made me smile bigger than I had all day. We were on our way to becoming distant "best friends", so I was just grateful that he'd remembered today.

Thank you Eli, I miss you. The last part of the message was unintentionally said, my fingers typing the words out before I could even comprehend what I was saying. I did miss him, in so many ways I didn't even know where to beginning elaborating. I missed his sarcasm, sweetness, and having someone I trusted knowing all the details of my life. Things were different now; we'd lost that connection, he didn't know about my feelings for Josh and I didn't know anything about Caylee.

I'd seen this happen before with Sammy and Addison. They went from best friends, to friends, to acquaintances to where they were now, nothing. He started dating Selina, she started hanging out with new people, and their friendship slowly but surely evaporated into nothing. Eli and I were on the same path even though we promised each other something like that would never happen to us.

Me too, want to come over tonight? Even though it was my birthday, I hadn't made many plans for today. If Chloe ever rose from her alcohol induced slumber, our plans were to go to lunch and shopping in Port Angeles, and besides that, the rest of my day was free.

Kara, Bryan, and Josh were all working, catering a luxurious wedding in Seattle that I would be at too if Annie hadn't gave me the day off as a birthday present. All three of them had promised to take me out tomorrow for a delayed birthday celebration and if Kara had anything to do with the planning, it would certainly be an eventful night. Thinking about Josh, who has been nothing but sweet to me, made me feel guilty for being so excited about Eli texting me. We would never be what I wanted, but we'd been friends for a decade, it was natural to want to keep that alive.

As long as you're not busy, I texted and then came back into reality and out of my cellular world.

"Do you want your presents now or later?" my Mom asked me as she placed a plate full of French toast on our kitchen table.

"Now, please," I said, the inner child in me speaking up. My mom nodded with a smile before disappearing up the stairs and returning with a small pile of gifts neatly wrapped in yellow wrapping paper.

The present that was a small square box was on the top so I grabbed it first. Harrison sat on my lap with eager eyes as I tore apart the paper. Underneath the wrapping paper was a blue box with a silver ring with my name engraved in the center with two tiny sapphires on each side of my name.

"The ring was all Harrison's idea," my mom cooed loudly and I kissed my baby brother's forehead loudly.

"Thank you so much, I love it," I said and he squealed happily, slipping the ring on my finger before I went to grab the next present.

The next present which was from Phil and my mom was a new Dolce and Gababna purse with a hundred dollars stuffed inside it. Hope's present, the most theatrical of them all, a gold fish she'd already named 'squishy' for me. Beneath all the wrapping was a pink envelope and I picked it up gingerly.

"Who is this from?" I asked no one in particular and no one answered me.

"I think it's from your Nona," my mom said while looking away. I gave her a skeptical look before tearing the seal off. It was a regular hallmark birthday card with a sweet saying on cover but when I opened it, expecting a 20 dollar bill to fall out, a folded piece of purple paper did instead.

Dear Ava,

Whenever December comes around, I think of my sweet grandbaby that is growing up so fast I wonder where the years went. You're fifteen now and I'm sure you're transforming into the beautiful woman that I know you'll be, but I'm saddened that I cannot see that transformation. Pictures do not do enough justice. So for this birthday, I'm giving you a present that is actually more of a present to me than you. It's an airplane ticket, not to anywhere as beautiful as your last adventure to Milan, but to Louisiana. It's a round trip, starting on the day of your winter break begins and leaving a day before you are to return to school. I know you love your family on the reservation and spending the holidays without them may seem impossible, but spending a week with my little A is exactly what I need. I hope to see you.

Love,

Nona

"You don't have to go," Phil said nervously as soon as he realized my eyes had reached the bottom of the page. I'd never been away from home for longer than a day; I suffered from what I called 'family' sickness instead of the typical homesickness. Even as a very small child I'd never gone to any of the dance camps, too afraid to be apart from my mom for that long. This opportunity though, a peaceful vacation to see my lovely Nona, was something I could not pass up. I needed to clear my mind and talk to someone that wasn't associated with the pack and my Nona was famous for her amazing advice.

"I want to go," I said and my mother looked shocked but happy with my answer.

"Oh Ava, this will mean so much to her," she said before hugging me tightly. We called my grandmother and hearing the pure excitement in her voice reassured me that I had made the right decision in going. I grabbed my phone while I ran up the stairs to take a shower.

Are you in Seattle, yet? I asked, sending the text to Josh. After showering I grabbed my phone to see if he texted back.

Almost, I wish you were here. He said and his words made a smile form on my face. Josh had an unintentionally habitat of always making me smile. He truly was perfect, the only flaw he had was that my desire for him was not as high as the one I had for Eli.

I wished it could be different and prayed it would change. I didn't want to hurt Josh, he was too nice and the thought of hurting him because of my confused feelings made me want to cry. I felt guilty for pinning after someone else's boyfriend and secretly wishing that they would just break up, so much for my guilt free day.

I'm going to Louisiana next week for break. I knew he'd be happy for me. He loved hearing me talk about my adventures in Italy (although I conveniently left out the story of finding my Uncle's hidden son) and this would be a new adventure.

For what?

To see my Nona, I texted back and thinking about it again made me excited. It had been years since I last saw her, the day Harrison was born to be exact.

That will be fun, how is your birthday going? Josh had been the first one to wish me happy birthday, calling my phone at midnight to do so.

It's good. And will be better once I'm with Eli, I thought.

I took extra time in getting ready which I cursed myself for. I put a small amount of hair gel and my strawberry scented hairspray which added a little boost my already naturally wavy hair. I searched through my overly stuffed closet for my favorite pair of dark jeans and a pink light long sleeved stripped shirt. After applying mascara and a thin coat of clear sticky lip gloss, I was happy with my appearance so I walked over into Chloe's room and laughed at what I saw. Chloe was sleeping with a blanket over her head but her hair was sticking out of the top. The lights were off and she'd even gone as far as to put a blanket over her window to block out the rare light the sun would bring.

"Oh Chloe," I sang out and flipped the light switch on. She groaned and she peeped her head out from underneath the blanket.

"What do you want, Ava?" she mumbled before propping her head up on her elbow.

"How was your night?" I asked her as I sat down on the bed next to her.

"Eventful, you should have came," she said before placing her hand on her forehead, "Do they knew I left?" she whispered and I shook my head.

"Thank god," she paused, "but you look pretty, where are you going?"

"Eli's," I attempted to say nonchalantly but my tone must have given me away because Chloe beamed at me like a child on Christmas morning.

"Eli's, huh? You are going in for the kill today?" she asked, nearly bouncing in her spot. My eyes widened as she referred to my love life as 'going in for the kill'.

"No, of course not! He has a girlfriend and I just want to be friends with him," I stumbled on my words which were the biggest lies to ever to come out of my mouth.

Chloe burst into a hysterical fit of uncontrollable laughter, "You're such a liar," she said before getting up and walking towards her bathroom, "Are we still going to PA?" she asked and I nodded as she disappeared into the bathroom. She reemerged an hour later in full makeup dazzling in a pair of pink heels and skin tight jeans.

Besides Eli, Chloe was my best friend. She was a gift from God in my eyes because we always understood each other. We'd both dealt with the struggles of being accepted in La Push and the abandonment of our biological father. It was times like this, when we just sat in the car and talked, I seriously wondered what I was going to do without her next year.

We decided to eat at a little Chinese restaurant on the pier. As soon as we got to our sit, I heard a vibration in my purse. I pulled my phone out and expected a message from either Josh or Kara but I was pleasantly surprised by who the sender was.

I have a surprise for you(; Eli said.

His text was the cause for me to chow down my orange chicken at an inhuman rate and have a difficult time concentrating on anything Chloe was saying. She talked of Sebastian, Harley, Maddie, and bubble gum flavored vodka. She must not have noticed that my mind wasn't there because she happily continued telling story after story about her glamorous life.

"Ready to go?" she asked and I jumped eagerly causing her to giggle.

"Wow, someone is in love," Chloe giggled but I disagreed mentally. Love in my mind required two people who felt the same.

The drive to Port Angles seemed to drag on for hours. Chloe and I kept a conversation going about apartment she'd seen online for Los Angeles and I told her about my upcoming trip to see Nona. When we pulled into Eli's driveway, it took everything in me not to run to the front door.

"Have fun baby sister," Chloe taunted through the rolled down window as she pulled out of the driveway. I walked up to the porch and rang the doorbell where I was greeted by Hazel and Jordan.

"Hello Ava," Jordan said smoothly just as Hazel ran up beside him.

"Happy birthday!" Hazel yelled at the same time and I laughed in response.

"Thank you, princess," I said and they both moved over in the doorway to let me in.

Although I had not been to the Uley-Varn cabin in a couple weeks, I remembered everything to the tee and nothing had changed at all.

"Happy birthday, Ava," I familiar voice said and I turned my head to see Addison Ateara sitting on the couch with Eli. I smiled widely at both of them before Addison stood up to hug me.

"Thank you," I said softly but was dying to touch Eli who had stood up after him.

This was wrong, so incredibly wrong!

'Happy birthday' he signed and I almost screamed in joy when he wrapped his arms around me to hug me. He was so warm and his fresh scent made me relax in a way I hadn't in weeks. Although being with Josh was great, no hug from him every caused these kind of reaction. I instantly envied Caylee for getting to be with him like this every day.

'Thank you. Where's my surprise? You bought me a car, right?' I signed teasingly and he chuckled.

'Oh yes, let me go get your keys' he signed back and then held up his finger to signal he was going to get the surprise.

"How's Selina?" I asked Addison and he flashed me a sympathetic look which confused me before answering.

"She's great," he said and although he looked happy, his answered felt forced for an unknown reason.

Eli walked out of the room with a small box in his hand. He handed it to me with an excited smile and it didn't matter if there was a snail in the box because it was from him and I would treasure it. Luckily for me though, the box didn't reveal a snail or any other creepy crawly creature. It was a silver necklace that I'd pointed out months ago while shopping for Chloe's birthday present with him. It was a silver heart necklace with seven birthstones; my mom's, Chloe's, Hope's, Phil's, Harrison's, Eli's, and mine. My heart was warmed at the fact that he had remembered the necklace after months and took the time to get it personalized to fit my family. It was the best present I'd gotten all day.

'You remembered' I signed in awe as Addison's loud fast upbeat ring tone sent him out of the room.

'I told you someone would get it for you eventually' he signed with a smile that made my heart hammer out of my chest. I thanked God he wasn't a wolf because if he was, he'd probably think I was going to die.

If I was brave like the girl's in movies, or like my sister, I would have kissed him. I wouldn't have thought twice about Caylee, Josh, or Addison who was talking on the phone in the other room. I wasn't a character of a movie though, and even though this was the perfect scene for a perfect first kiss, I couldn't force myself to lean into him. Though, that would have been the best birthday gift of all.

'Thank you, thank you so much' I signed and I felt the tears well up in my eyes. Having everything I wanted right in front of my eyes but so far out of reach was simply torturous.

Addison came back into the room a few minutes later with his phone in his hand. He sat down on the other side of the couch while Eli stood up to get a movie out of the overly stocked library. He came back into the room a few minutes later with a mystery movie that I didn't catch the title off. He started the movie with the subtitles already set. I felt my eyes started to get droopy as the movie progresses; I always fell asleep during movies. I leaned my head on his shoulder, using Eli as my personal pillow had been a habit I'd had since we were little.

As I desperately tried to keep my attention on the movie I wondered to myself, would anything in life ever feel as right as this did?