Till All Graces

It was the moment he had been dreading…the final goodbye. He didn't really understand what the big deal was – people came and went all the time in his life. Hatter had spent the past few…how long had it been? Hours…days…weeks...? It felt like centuries. Regardless, however much time had passed since Alice had been whisked away after retrieving the Ring of Wonderland from the Queen of Hearts, he had felt…out of sorts. There was something missing, something he couldn't quite put his finger on. Alone in his office, he pondered the implications of this idea. He had teamed up with people before – helping or being helped as the case warranted – and lost nothing upon returning to his autonomous existence. But in her absence…it was like a tiny piece of him had gone with her. At first, he thought it was simply because his life had revolved around her so completely in the previous days…but then he was forced to admit that it was something more. He cared about her...they had become…friends. He never had the luxury of making friends, so he was surprised to discover that what started out as a practical alliance had grown into a more intimate relationship. He was even more surprised by the fact that he actually liked it.

And so, as news of her impending departure spread across Wonderland like an exciting new elixir, he found himself doing everything he could to distract himself from the idea that she would soon be gone. Forever. He was such a master procrastinator that he nearly lost track of time completely. But when he saw that the hour grew late, he moved faster than the White Rabbit on harvest day. It was only when the building in question was in sight that he forced himself to slow his pace…mustn't look like he was in a rush…

Hatter walked through the revolving door with one thing on his mind – his hug. He was going to get his hug at long last. When Alice had thrown herself into his arms in the casino…it was…indescribable. An unfamiliar warmth spread throughout his body…it like drinking a tea that was brewed exclusively for him, a unique concoction designed to nourish his body, mind, and soul. In that moment, a mixture of jumbled thoughts and feelings bubbled to the surface, screaming to be acknowledged…but he had been forced to cram them back down where came from. There was no use in having such thoughts and feelings if he wasn't going to be alive long enough to enjoy them. It was then, with great effort, that he pulled away from Alice so they could focus on the situation at hand.

Later, when they were standing a safe distance from the fallen casino, he asked for his hug, but was rudely interrupted by the Queen of Hearts. And now…now all those thoughts and feelings were barely an echo in the corners of his mind. All he knew is that he wanted to repeat that experience, think those thoughts, feel those feelings…hold her until he figured it all out.

There was a skip in his step as he went through the door, but he froze almost immediately upon entering the sacred hall that housed the Looking Glass. There was Alice with her arms around the King and a smile on her face. He didn't realize that he was holding his breath until the air left his lungs with a painful whoosh. That was supposed to be his hug…Jack had stolen it. After all he had done to her, all he had put her through, Alice was still willing to wrap her arms around him and give him a heartfelt goodbye. Hatter watched in astonishment as Jack helped her re-start the Looking Glass. She was really leaving…and what's worse, she seemed so eager to do so, she had forgotten all about him. Coming here was a mistake. He should have left things well enough alone. He should have known better.

He turned away, about to make a hasty exit when he heard his name.

"Hatter."

It was not said with joy or affection…there wasn't any emotion to it at all. It was flat, almost a command. Like, "Hey," or, "Come here," or, "Off with his head…"

Still, he turned back around, as if he was just coming in. "Alice….hey…" He walked towards her, nearly pushing his way past the Oysters that were scattered around the room, muttering, "Excuse me….sorry…." as needed.

When he finally reached her, he found himself at a loss for words. "I was um…I was afraid I might've missed you."

"Yeah…well…" Alice paused as she glanced back over her shoulder at Jack. "…you cut it a little close."

"Yeah, I was, um…" He looked down at his feet. Say something…anything! He raised his head, but he couldn't bear to look into her eyes. "Guess I was trying not to think about it." No, no, no! Too much information, you're giving away too much! "Anyways, I wanted to say…goodbye." Yes, that's it. Goodbye.

Her expression changed…she almost looked…confused. She let his words hang between them for several seconds. "Goodbye?"

"And if you, you know, ever fancied coming back…"

Alice's expression softened. "You want me to stay?"

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! "Hell, no!" He looked up at the ceiling as he said it, wondering what he was doing. "No you…I think you should go home."

She stared at him for a few a long while, then took a deep breath. "Yeah. Yeah, I've had enough of Wonderland for a lifetime."

"Yes. I am sure you have. Right?" He somehow managed a forced smile while he spoke. "Still…we had…had a laugh. You know? Had some good times…obviously…among all the…bad times." You're rambling…you sound like an idiot…stop it!

"Yeah. Yeah we did."

They just stood there looking at each other…an awkward silence filled the whole of Wonderland as Hatter struggled to put his thoughts into a coherent sentence, but all he could manage was a sigh.

Alice looked down, and realized that she was still wearing the coat he had given her. "Oh um…yeah." It was only as she started to take it off that Hatter understood what she was doing.

"You don't have to…" But it was too late; she had already placed the jacket in his hands. She returned his gift...one he had given her with no thought of repayment. Just a gesture of kindness towards a pretty girl in a very wet dress. "Brilliant. Thank you." He heard his voice crack a little. Pull yourself together! "That's good." He forced himself to put his hurt feelings aside for the moment – he was ready for his hug. He held out his arms. "So…we should…"

"Yeah." She hooked her arms under his and patted his back. This was most certainly NOT his hug. His embrace was made of that exquisite tea, reaching every last inch of him…he could barely feel this one through his jacket. It was unfeeling…impersonal. Jack had definitely stolen his hug.

Still…he was reluctant to let her go. When he did, he felt himself getting choked up. He cleared his throat, sniffled, and muttered a "yeah," in response.

"You know, you could always visit my world. You might like it."

"Yeah. Heh. We could…" Say something clever! Say something clever! "…we could do pizza." Pizza? Really? That's all you got…? Kiss her!

That last thought had come out of nowhere.

"And lots of other things."

A technician appeared out of thin air and took her arm. "Alice, please…"

"Really? I was just…" …about to confess my undying love. It was then that it hit him, as she was led towards Looking Glass…it was then that everything came together and the epiphany struck him like a shock from the doctors Dee and Dum – he had fallen in love with Alice. He couldn't pinpoint the exact moment it had happened…it must have snuck up on him over the past few days…all he knew was that he loved her with every fiber of his being. And he stood there and did nothing as she walked out of his life.

"Just force yourself to breathe…" the technician instructed, before pushing her through the mirror.

Hatter stood there, watching Oyster after Oyster disappear in sheer disbelief. He loved her. He actually loved her.

"She's gone." The voice was soft and comforting, but it was so close that it made him jump. Charlie was standing behind him, invading his personal space in a kinda creepy way.

He almost scolded the White Knight, but he couldn't be bothered to make the effort. "I know."

"Why did you let her go?"

He had no answer for the old man, so he said nothing. Charlie stood by him in silence, placing his arm around his comrade in a demonstration of solidarity. They remained like that until the final Oyster had been sent home.

Jack and the 10 of Clubs had remained in close proximity of the Looking Glass during the Oysters' departures, having an intense, hushed conversation the entire time. Although they were clearly in Hatter's line of sight, he was so focused on the Looking Glass itself that he hadn't noticed them. It was only when Charlie gave him a pat on the back and suggested they leave that the rest of the world came into view. Upon seeing the King, he felt his muscles tense involuntarily and seriously considered using his infamous "sledgehammer" on him…but the temptation was fleeting, so he nodded and started to follow the White Knight out.

"Oh, Hatter," the King called after him, and he stopped. He was in no mood for conversation, particularly with this man, but he felt obliged to respond.

"Yes, your majesty?"

"Would you join me in a spot of tea?"

It was an offer he dare not refuse…as Jack was now in power, Hatter felt it was imperative to establish friendly relations with him. Even though the Resistance had disbanded, and Wonderland's refugees were slowly but surely returning to public life, it all seemed a bit too good to be true. He didn't trust the King…at all. He was willing to give Jack the benefit of the doubt…but he also had to be ready to re-assemble the Resistance at a moment's notice. The closer he was to the King, the better an eye he could keep on him.

"That sounds lovely."

The group proceeded to the Tea Shop – Charlie insisted on tagging along "just in case," he said, and the 10 of Clubs seemed to be acting as a kind of bodyguard. Hatter could have honestly cared less who else came or where they went…but he was secretly pleased that the King had not objected to his suggestion that they return to his office. He would feel all the more comfortable on his own turf.

Once they arrived, Hatter brewed some tea while everyone situated themselves. Charlie, who showed the utmost delight in performing a cursory exploration of the area, finally settled in Hatter's large egg chair off to the side. Jack went straight for one of the chairs facing Hatter's desk, and the 10 of Clubs chose to sit apart from them, in the white easy chair furthest from the center of the room.

Hatter served the King first, then offered tea to the others. Charlie was too busy spinning around in his chair to respond, and 10 waved him off. And so, he poured himself some and sat behind his desk. He waited for Jack to speak, but he just sat there, sipping his tea all prim and proper, not saying a word. Hatter was at a loss; he didn't know what was expected of him, so he too simply sat and enjoyed his tea. The King had nearly finished his cup when he finally spoke.

"You don't care for me, do you?"

"I don't know if I'd say that…"

Jack managed a slight smile. "Hatter…I am not my mother's son. I do not ask for adoration or blind obedience. All I want is the truth."

The White Knight stopped his spinning frenzy and was rubbing his temples in a circular motion. Hatter didn't know if he was dabbling in the dark arts, or nursing a migraine brought about by extreme dizziness…but he hoped he was paying attention. They might have to fight their way out of this.

"The truth about what?"

"Alice."

His ire towards the King nearly boiled over then, and it was with great effort that he maintained a calm exterior. "What about her?"

"You care for her…do you not?"

"Well…yeah. We're pals…"

"You tried to kiss her."

Hatter winced slightly. "I did."

"So it stands to reason that you're more than just pals."

"To be fair," Hatter began carefully, "I never actually kissed her. It was a spur of the moment thing…there were strong emotions all around and…"

Jack finished his tea and placed the cup and saucer on Hatter's desk. "Are you under the impression that I'm angry with you?"

"I'm going to go with…no?"

The King stood and turned away, taking a few steps towards the Tea Shop proper. "I proposed to her." Hatter wisely chose not to respond, instead waiting for the other man to continue. "Before she left…I asked her to stay, to be my queen." He turned back around to face Hatter. "She said no."

"I'm sorry." As relieved as he was, Hatter was also really, truly sorry for the King. Rejection was never an easy thing to face.

"I asked her to stay, and she left."

It was then that Charlie stopped rubbing his temples and decided to join the conversation. "You told her to leave, and she went."

"Charlie, you were across the room, how on Earth do you…"

"I have already told you that I am proficient in the practice of the black arts…" He allowed his voice to trail off ominously, pausing for dramatic effect before adding. "And I can read lips."

"You told her to go?" Jack asked, incredulous.

"No…I…well…I mean…"

"She asked you if you wanted her to stay, and you said, 'Hell no"!" Charlie offered, raising his voice an octave to emphasize the "Hell no" part.

Hatter cringed at the memory. "Thanks, Charlie…" He collected himself and tried to explain. "Look…she doesn't belong here. She has a life to get back to. Besides…she spent most of her time in Wonderland being chased and tormented. Not exactly the kind of place you want to build a summer house in."

Jack remained silent, while Charlie continued. "She asked you to come with her, and you didn't."

"No," he said, holding up his hands. "She invited me to visit her world…that's something completely different."

"If you say so," Charlie replied, shrugging. Bored with the conversation at hand, he got up, walked across the room to the closet, and began inspecting each piece of clothing hanging within.

"I don't understand…" Jack said, slowly shaking his head. "After all I did for her…"

Despite his intention to stay on the King's good side, this was more than Hatter could bear. "All you did for her? You mean, completely deceiving her about who you were and what you wanted? Or maybe putting her in danger a half dozen times? Or letting her stand up to your mother in the end? Yes, well…forgive me if I'm unimpressed."

"I helped her find her father. I gave him back to her."

"That doesn't make things right. You lied to her repeatedly. Not to mention using her to hide the Ring of Wonderland…you made her bait."

Jack sighed. "There was no other way…"

"I don't believe that. Not for a second. You have no idea what she went through…"

"But you do."

Hatter wanted to throw it all in his face – every little detail of Alice's trials and tribulations as she maneuvered her way through Wonderland – but he didn't. He was angry, but not cruel. "Yeah. I do."

Jack considered this seemingly simple fact. "She asked you to come with her…" he mumbled.

"It wasn't exactly an invitation…"

The King returned to his seat and leaned forward, studying Hatter's face intensely. "What are you scared of?
"Me? Scared?" Hatter forced a laugh. "I'm not afraid of anything." He paused, and found a genuine smile spreading across his face at the memory of an exchange with Alice on the roof of the casino. "Except bullets."

His examination of every garment complete, Charlie closed the closet doors and walked over to Hatter. He leaned forward and said in a loud whisper. "You fear what you feel for dear Alice."

"I most certainly do not…"

"Wait!" Charlie interrupted, standing straight up. "I was wrong."

"Thank you…"

"You fear what her feelings are…or are not, as the case may be."

Hatter leaned into the back of his chair and closed his eyes. There was no denying it. His feelings were…what they were. He may not be able to control them, but he accepted them. Alice's feeling were another matter entirely.

The White Knight chose to interpret Hatter's lack of response as confirmation. "The best thing you can do with fear is face it. Stare it down, and defeat it." Neither of the other men replied to his advice, so he continued. "The King made a noble effort, but he has been discarded…we are sure of her feelings for him, so he may mope about as he pleases." He bowed repentantly to the King, "Apologies, highness. But you," he put his hand on Hatter's shoulder as his attention returned to the latter, "you do not know how the fair lady feels. And until you do, you have no right to sit around and sulk."

Jack sat up a little straighter. "Charlie is right. In fact…as much as I hate to admit it, I think the chances of her returning your feelings are rather good."

"Have I lost my mind, or do I suddenly find myself in the middle of a soap opera…?"

"Listen – she asked if you wanted her to say and you said no…so how did she respond? By inviting you to come along with her. It all makes perfect sense…"

"To a madman maybe." Hatter looked up to see Charlie nodding in agreement with the King. "Right on cue…"

"No one will force you to leave Wonderland," the King said, standing. "But the option is open to you, should you wish it."

He motioned for 10 to join him, and the two men made their way to the door. Hatter knew this was his chance…maybe his last chance, as difficult as it would be to get an appointment with the King. He had to act now, or give up on Alice completely. "Wait."

"Yes?"

"I think…I think I should go. You know, to make sure she got back safely."

Jack returned to Hatter's desk and sat down. "Then we have much to discuss."

Hatter and the King had spent hours going over the particulars of Alice's world. Despite protests that he meant to just pop on through the Looking Glass for a tick, check on Alice, then return, Jack insisted on briefing him. There was no detail too minute, no facet of the Oyster's domain left untouched. Hatter bore it as patiently as possible – he probably knew more about their world than anyone else in Wonderland, save Jack. Still…there were several nuggets of information that would prove helpful in his coming journey, so he could not deny the King his efforts.

Especially since he could have just as well simply pushed Hatter through the Looking Glass without as much as a goodbye.

He reluctantly changed his clothes into something more…suitable for their world, and accepted Jack's cell phone, as well as his list of contacts and other pertinent little tidbits. When he was set, the group returned to the Looking Glass.

Charlie embraced him wholeheartedly. "You are a good man, my boy…you will be missed."

"And you are a gallant knight, Charlie," Hatter replied, hugging him back. "You'll watch over Wonderland until I get back, yeah?"

The White Knight nodded vigorously as he backed off. "You can count on me."

"Now, Hatter," Jack began, escorting him to the magical mirror, "Odds are that she'll be unconscious on the other side. To Oysters, their experience in Wonderland is merely a dream. So don't panic – she's perfectly fine. You have some kind of plan…?"

"I do."

"Well, then…let's get to it, shall we?"

Hatter extended his hand to the King. "You take care of Wonderland…I'll be keeping an eye on you."

Jack accepted his hand and gave it a firm shake. "You worry about Alice…I'll worry about Wonderland."

"All right. Let's do it."

Like Alice, Hatter found himself pushed through the Looking Glass before he was ready. It was quite a peculiar experience, falling through various colors and flashing lights…he landed on a cold, dark floor disoriented a bit, but no worse for wear. Alice was laying a few feet away. He rushed over to her and did a cursory examination; Jack appeared to be correct – she was unconscious, but breathing normally. Asleep, nothing more. He pulled Jack's phone out of his pocket and dialed 911.

"Hello? Yes…I'd like to report an accident. Well…I'm not sure, really. I was on my way home when…" He continued his story as he stroked Alice's hair. It wasn't long before an ambulance arrived, and though it took some fast talking on his part, Hatter managed to get a ride back to the hospital with her. He remained in the waiting room while they wheeled her deeper into the building for tests. He honestly wasn't sure how long he intended on staying, and was debating whether or not he should just leave when he noticed a nurse pointing him out to a woman across the room. She was attractive, tall and thin with short red hair and a concerned expression on her face, she looked…motherly. Elegant, really. Her heels clicked on the tile floor as she approached.

"I don't know how to thank you enough," she said, reaching for his hand and holding it between both of hers. "She wasn't gone that long, but I was so worried…"

"It was nothing," he replied, patting her hands reassuringly with his free one. "I did what anyone would've done."

"I can't imagine what she was doing out there…she's lucky someone was around to call for help…"

"Yes, well…there you are."

She suddenly dropped his hands and eyed him warily. "If you don't mind my asking, what exactly were you doing in that neighborhood so late?"

"Oh…I got all the way home when I realized I had left something at the site, so I went back for it." He gave her a shy smile, hoping to quell her suspicions. "It was on my way back that I saw her run into the abandoned building. By the time I found her…she was on the floor, out like a light."

"What did you forget?"

He reached into his pocket and pulled out Jack's phone. "Silly me."

She seemed to relax a bit, now that he had given her a plausible explanation for his presence. He held out his hand. "I'm David, by the way."

"Carol," she replied, shaking it.

"Is she gonna be all right?"

"Oh, yes…" her scrutiny done for the time being, her thoughts returned to her daughter. "The doctors want to do a few more tests, but she should be fine. In fact…I should get back to her. They say she'll wake up soon."

"Well, then…" Hatter racked his brain for something to say that didn't sound…stalker-ish. "It was nice meeting you."

"Same here."

"And…you wouldn't mind if maybe I stopped by later? Just to make sure she's ok?"

Apparently he had won her over, because Carol smiled. "That's very sweet of you. Yes, of course you may. I'm sure Alice will want to thank you herself."

She wrote down their address on a piece of paper, and handed it to him. He put it safely in his pocket. "Thanks. I'll just be going, then."

Carol told him that she expected to have Alice home later that day, and invited him to stop by at his convenience. It was still pretty early, only about 8am, so Hatter decided to explore his surroundings a bit. Jack had essentially given him all of his worldly possessions, as the King clearly would not be returning to this particular world anytime soon, if ever. And so, Hatter pulled out the map Jack had provided with the intention of becoming more familiar with what was to be his home. He spent several hours wandering the city streets before he made his way over to Jack's apartment.

It was relatively spacious, located in a good part of town…it was large enough to be comfortable, but not so much as to alert visitors to his wealth. And he was wealthy, even in this world. After going on a quick walkthrough, Hatter sat at the computer and checked the e-mail account that had been set up for him. He already had several messages from Jack's contacts, assuring him that they were aware of his presence, offering their assistance as needed. He also received some official-looking messages notifying him that Jack's bank accounts, lease, and all other matters of importance had been changed to his name. Hatter wasn't particularly concerned with such things at present, but he understood their significance, and was happy to discover that the King was as good as his word.

The apartment's décor, however…it had to go. As did all the clothes in the closet. Dreadful, really…not him at all. But he would have more than enough time to deal with that later. For now, all he cared about was Alice.

He took a quick shower, put on some drab, boring clothes, and had a bite to eat. On his way out, he grabbed one of the hats he brought with him. Because there was no way he was going to leave them behind. In the Oyster's world, he may be just plain "David," but deep down he would always be Hatter.

Walking in the direction of Alice's apartment, he wondered if he had given her and her mother enough time to get settled. He had managed to waste away most of the day, but for all he knew, she was still laying in the hospital bed, dreaming away. He could not convince himself to wait, however…he had to see her, and he had to see her now.

The giddy excitement building up within him as he pressed the buzzer turned into pure, unadulterated terror as he walked up the steps to the second floor. Her mother poked her head out the door just as he reached the hallway. "David, over here. Come in."

He walked over to her, stepping into the apartment cautiously. At this point, he'd almost rather face the Jabberwok. He was so nervous that he nearly forgot to remove his hat. "Mrs. Hamilton."

She backed up and called down the hall, "Alice? Come meet David." Then she walked back towards him, ushering him further in. "And it's Carol."

He barely heard her. He was listening, instead to the sound of soft footsteps approaching. Alice was dressed simply, in a plain t-shirt, jeans, and a sweater. And she was lovelier than ever. Her eyes were down, focused on her hands until she reached the doorway. When she raised her head, her melancholy expression melted into surprise, and her eyes shone with joy.

"Hatter!"

This time she said it with excitement, pausing for a minute to take in the sight before her, then running up to him and throwing her arms around his neck.

Hatter closed his eyes and allowed himself to savor the hug he had been waiting so long to attain. That special warmth spread through him like wildfire, making him feel alive for the first time in days. There was so much he wanted to say to her, but now that she was in his arms, there was only one word he could manage. "Finally."

"You have no idea how happy I am to see you," she whispered. That sentence meant more to him than anything else she could have said…it was exactly what he wanted to hear. At the end of the day, she was happy to see him…and that was enough.

He held her for a moment more, then they both stepped back a bit and looked at each other. Hatter decided that he would waste no more time, and went in for a kiss. Alice responded in kind, and he silently scolded himself for waiting as long as he had to do this. "I missed you," he told her softly when their kiss was done, then leaned forward once again to press his lips upon her own…

***Author's Note – In both instances, the dialogue between Alice and Hatter is taken directly from Syfy's "Alice." Everything else is all me…