Disclaimer: I do not own Firefly in any way, shape, or form.

A/N: Takes place during Jaynestown.

Simon slowly opened his eyes to the sound of loud voices.

"Captain!" Kaylee said, quite loudly.

Simon blinked, trying to ignore the pain in his head. Stupid, stupid, he thought - he had drunk too much. He was a doctor, for pity's sake - he knew not to do this. So why had he...

Oh yes, Simon remembered now. He had been trying to forget his crush. That obnoxious one he had on someone who would never return it.

He looked up and saw the object of his affections.

"Captain!"

Simon looked over and saw Kaylee, perched on top of him, and jerked in surprise.

"What! Kaylee! Uh - nothing happened," he said quickly, trying to remember what had happened. "We didn't - I wouldn't! Not with Kaylee!"

Kaylee's eyes turned hard, and Simon panicked even more.

"I'm sly!" he shouted for the entire bar to hear. Thankfully, everyone else was passed out - so only Kaylee and Mal heard him... That was bad enough.

"What?" Kaylee gasped. Her eyes were wider than Simon had ever seen him, and her mouth hung open.

"No! You can't - " Kaylee saw the sincerity on the doctor's face. "But - you never said... You led me on..."

"I didn't mean to!" Simon said desperately. He truly hadn't meant to. Kaylee was a wonderful girl, just the kind he'd like to marry if he could ever be attracted to her.

Kaylee looked down at him, grief, anger, and shock mingled in her gaze. She stood up quickly, pushing off of Simon rather roughly. A deep breath later, Kaylee had pulled herself together.

"Time to go, Cap'n?" the mechanic said coolly, looking over at Mal.

Simon suddenly remembered Mal was right there - and their eyes met. Mal looked highly amused, as he shot Simon a quiet grin.

"Reckon it is," Mal drawled.

The doctor hurriedly stood, trying not to fall over, looking over at Kaylee.

"Let's go then," Simon said, letting out a sigh.

"Hmm. No, I don't think so," Kaylee said sharply. "I think you can stay here."

Simon gaped at her.

"It's about the time for a civilized person to have some breakfast," Kaylee finished, and walked towards the stairs.

Simon met Mal's gaze.

"She'll get over it," Mal shrugged, still grinning. "Jus' take some time is all. A few days and Kaylee'll try setting you up with Jayne."

Simon blanched.

"Please shoot me now."

"Nah," Mal mused slowly, stepping closer to Simon. "Wouldn't want to ruin such a pretty face."

Simon couldn't quite breathe.

"Get some breakfast," Mal said, his eyes livelier than Simon had ever seen before. "Then come up and join us - wouldn't want to miss Jayne's speech, now. Could be he's got some eloquent words to say."

"Okay," Simon said. His voice wasn't trembling in the slightest. At least, that's what Simon tried to convince himself.

The captain just smiled even wider, hooked his thumbs in his pants, and headed off.

Simon just stood still and took a few deep breaths. Then he turned and went to sit at a table. After scanning the tabletop for a moment, Simon frowned.

"May I please see a menu?" He called to the dozing bartender.

"A what?"