The Wager

Mike and Matt intensely scanned the dancing students moving and swaying to the music.

"There has to be somebody here he hasn't kissed. All of the Cheerios are out. He's already dated Rachel so she's out." Matt muttered as his eyes moved about the room.

"There are most likely several girls here he hasn't kissed; what we need is someone who doesn't want to kiss him." Mike reminded his friend.

They both slumped down lower in the plastic chairs that lined the walls of the auditorium. The dance was hosted by their school, celebrating the New Directions win at the sectionals. The Lima Losers were finely winners! They had been in high spirits earlier in the evening, joining in with the other dancing students, but now they were on a mission to find someone that will resist Noah Puckerman.

"Maybe we should give up and forget the bet." Matt suggested.

"What! And let Puck continue to crow about what a great womanizer he is?"

"He's been drinking; you know how braggy he gets when he gets a few shots down him."

"He's intolerable tonight. He just won't shut up! For once I'd like to prove him wrong."

"We should go easy on him, this whole Finn, Quinn thing is bugging him. That's why he's drinking and bragging." Matt argued reasonably.

Mike wasn't buying it. "This is the perfect time to bring him down a notch or two! He's drunk and he'll be sloppy. Everybody knows what he's done to Quinn so none of the girls will want to touch him."

"How about Miss Pillsbury? She's a germophobe, he wouldn't even be able to get near her!"

"Yeah! And if Mr. Shue finds out about the bet he'll throw us out of Glee for sure. It's a shame Sue Sylvester wasn't here. If he tried anything with her she would feed him his own kidney."

"That's for sure!" chuckled Matt, mentally picturing it. "Right up through his ass!"

"We need a strong woman like that. What about Mercedes? She won't take any guff." Mike suggested.

"No way! You know how good Puck is, if she falls for his lines and then finds out it's a bet, she'll really be hurt."

"Well we can see who you're sweet on!" laughed Mike

"What about Tina?" Matt nudged and winked.

"Let's leave the pair of them out of it, deal?"

"Deal."

"Too bad there aren't any "out" Lesbians in our school. Puck won't be able to smarm his way around a dyke."

"Kurt's the only "out" gay, too bad he wasn't a Lesbian, he would be ideal." mused Matt.

"That's it! Kurt! He's perfect!" exclaimed Mike.

"No way Puck will agree to that!"

"I don't know, I swear I saw Puck checking out Kurt's ass while he was dancing. If Puck is drunk enough to let his inhibitions go, he might just agree to it."

"I'm in! I'd pay my part of the bet to see those two at it!" laughed Matt

"That's the best part! Kurt can hardly stand him after all the bullying Puck's put him through. Puck won't have a snowball's chance in hell."

"Let's go find Mr. Puckerman!"

"Wait, we have to plan this out carefully to get Puck to do it. And I think I know what might work."

After discussing their strategy, the two boys found Puck where they left him. He smiled brightly at the pair, opened his jacket and offered the pair a small bottle of booze he had tucked away in his inside pocket, which they declined. He shrugged his shoulders and helped himself.

"Well boys, have you found the woman I'm supposed to romance?"

"We think so," Matt answered glancing sideways at Mike, smiling.

"Who's the lucky woman, that gets a taste of Puck The Great."

"Kurt Hummel" Mike announced with Matt snorting in the background.

"Come on guys! I said a girl, not a goddamned queer!"

"He's our choice. He's smart and has too much class to buy into your bullshit. You'll never get him to kiss you."

"I don't want him to kiss me! He's a dude!"

"And don't forget good taste, Mike" added Matt. "After all Kurt's totally in love with Finn – just most of the girls."

"What!?" Puck sat up straight. "Hummel is lusting after Finn?"

"Like we said, he has class. He's in love with Finn, he doesn't lust after him. That's your area of expertise."

"Maybe we should pick someone else, Mike" offered Matt giving him a wink as they slowly drew Puck in. "With Finn in the picture, Puck doesn't stand a chance with Kurt. We should give him a fair shot at least."

"Fuck you guys!" growled Puck, "I told you I can seduce any woman in this school, and if I can seduce any woman, than I can seduce some prancy gay boy!"

"Okay, if you can get Kurt Hummel to kiss you on the lips passionately, then we will bow to your superior abilities and pay you 100 bucks." said Mike.

"BUT, if you can't get him to kiss you (and no kissing him first) then you owe us 100 bucks AND you have to stop bragging about what a great ladies' man you are." Matt chimed in.

"Deal." Uttered Puck disgustedly and the boys shook hands on it. "Well I'd better go find the little fag and get it over and done with. Hummel, you're toast!" he said with a little more bravado then he felt.

As Puck moved off in search of Kurt, the two boys high fived each other and laughed. "Let's look for Kurt as well so we can get ring-side seats for the main event." giggled Matt and the pair moved off in the other direction to circle around.

"And now for a little insurance" smiled Mike as he took out his phone to ring Kurt's number.

* * * * *

"You did what?! You, Ass! Thanks a lot! Now what am I supposed to do?! Idiots!!" spat Kurt harshly as he jabbed the off button on his phone.

"What happened?" asked Mercedes as she watched Kurt jam the phone in his pocket.

"Dumb and Dumber – I mean Matt and Mike. They just bet Puck 100 dollars that he can't get me to kiss him." Kurt fumed.

"What?!" shrieked Mercedes

"Apparently, I'm supposed to be the punch line of a really bad joke. Puck is looking for me right now to charm his way into getting me to kiss him."

"I'll cut him off at the pass," hissed Mercedes "In fact I'll cut him off at the knees! Then I'll shove the lower half of his legs down the throats of those two scumbags!"

"You go after the idiot scumbags, I'll deal with Noah Puckerman." stated Kurt decisively.

"What are you going to do?"

"First I'll let him string out his line, I'm curious as to why girls fall for it. Then I'll hang him out to dry,"

"Kurt, he's tricky. Don't fall for any of his shit." his friend warned.

"Don't worry! Noah Puckerman is toast!"