TITLE: The Path of Least Resistance
SUMMARY: After reflecting on the choices he's made, and the choices he currently has to make, Finn Hudson comes to a decision.
SPOILERS: All aired episodes.
DISCLAIMER: Glee does not belong to me... which is totally unfair, because I'd rock that show if it were mine!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story is basically a "love letter" to Cory Monteith. I think he's an incredible actor who brings a lot of subtlety to the role of Finn, which could easily be played as the one-note, dumb-jock-with-a-heart-of-gold. Plus, he's Canadian, eh? I mean, "He's Canadian! Yay!" :o)
Also, never fear, more Puckleberry goodness is coming your way. This story insisted I write it first, though. (They can be pesky like that.)
Most people think I'm dumb. I guess they have a good reason to think that, because I've never shown them anything else. I've never really tried for anything, or worked really hard at anything, except for makin' my Mom proud of me. And she is. I mean, yeah, she wishes I would do better in school, because she doesn't want me to be stuck in this loser town forever. But, mostly, she's happy that I get by okay.
I suppose "getting by" is easy for a guy like me. I'm good-looking (that's what people tell me, anyways), I'm good at sports, and I get along with everybody. People like to like me, and they make it easy for me to like them back. That's how I got to be friends with Puck, and I guess that's also how I got Quinn to be my girlfriend.
Me and Puck met when we were in fifth grade. He was the new kid. His family transferred here all the way from Texas, after his dad walked out on his mom. Because he was tall for his age, Mrs. McFeenie told him to sit with me at the table in back of the class. I'd grown too big for the school desks in fourth grade.
Because everybody always likes me, I introduced myself to him, and told him that he could play baseball with me and the other guys at recess if he wanted. He didn't say anything, just kinda shrugged his shoulders and grunted. But, when recess came, he was out there in the field, hitting home run after home run. And that's how we became friends.
First, it was baseball, and then football, and then skateboarding after school. When he found out that I didn't have a dad either, he started hanging out at my house a lot. I think it was because of my mom: Puck's mom worked a lot, and I think he liked coming to my house because my mom was almost always home after school, and always had good snacks for us.
By the time we got to eighth grade, everybody treated us like we were a team: we were always "Finn and Puck", or "Puck and Finn". So, I guess I thought we were a team, too. We did everything together: we drank our first beers together, we snuck our first joint together, we even had our first kiss together (he brought Tina Clark to the bleachers behind the school, and I brought Rebecca Greene at the same time).
But, we were never friends. At least, not in the way you're supposed to be friends with someone. We never talked about anything important: Puck always said that talking about feelings and stuff was for pussies. Plus, he always seemed kinda angry about something, and it was like if he talked about it, he'd explode. I didn't want him to explode at me, so I never said anything about it. It was easy not to, because we were always off doing some stupid shit somewhere.
When we got to high school, I figured me and Puck would still be a team. And we were. We both got picked for the football, so we both started hanging out with the jocks and cheerleaders at McKinley. And that's how we both got popular. Puck was popular for other reasons too (mostly sex, but also because he was a badass), but we were still always "Finn and Puck", or "Puck and Finn". Until Quinn Fabray joined the Cheerios the next year.
Quinn Fabray was beautiful. Really, really, beautiful. It almost hurt, how pretty she was. She was also really smart, and nice, too. She always said hi to me and Puck if she saw us in the hallways, or came over to talk to us after practice. Puck would talk for hours about how hot Quinn was, and how he couldn't wait to do her. I never said anything, because I wanted to do her too, but I knew Puck would get to her first. He always did. So, when Quinn came up to us one day, and asked us if we were going to Madison Kane's party after the game on Friday, I figured I already knew what would happen: Puck would have sex with Quinn, and I wouldn't say anything about it.
Except that's not what happened. Quinn spent the whole night talking to me, and laughing with me, and really just letting me know that she liked me. So, when I pulled her into Madison's parent's bedroom and kissed her, she kissed me back. And that's how she became my girlfriend.
I thought Puck was gonna be mad at me for getting to Quinn first, but he wasn't. He congratulated me for bagging the head cheerleader, and told me to remember to keep some condoms in my wallet. I wasn't planning on having sex with Quinn right away, though... I thought we should be together for at least three weeks. Puck thought I was a total pansy-ass for waiting, but I kept telling him that I thought Quinn was really special. He eventually stopped buggin' me about it and, after a while, it seemed like he didn't want to talk about Quinn at all.
My reason for waiting to have sex wasn't just because Quinn was special, or because she was President of the Celibacy Club. I wanted to make sure that she was in love with me. Because, sometimes? I wasn't so sure. I mean, I knew that Quinn liked me: the way she'd smile at me Iike she thought I was was special, too, and the way she'd always squeeze my hand a little tighter than normal, like she never wanted to let me go. But, sometimes, I felt that she liked me mostly because I was the quarterback of the football team. She'd talk for hours about how we had it "made" at McKinley, and about how we were going to rule the school for the next couple of years. Hell, she was even talking about her dress for Senior Prom already, and whether wearing her hair down or up would look better with her Prom Queen crown. I never said anything when she went off like that. I just figured she was just really into high school, and wanted to enjoy it as much as she could. I mean, they're supposed to be the best years of your life, right?
Everything was going great with us until Mr. Schue blackmailed me into joining glee club. Both Quinn and Puck were really mad at me for stayin' in glee. Puck couldn't believe that I actually wanted to spend time with "a bunch of fucking losers", and Quinn was pissed because it meant we had less time to spend together. I felt bad that they were upset, but singing filled up somethin' inside me that I didn't even know was empty. I never said anything about that to Quinn or Puck, though. They didn't want to hear it anyways, and I don't think they'd of understood it, even if they had. But Rachel Berry did.
Rachel Berry scared the shit out of me. Actually, she still kinda does. The first time I met her, though, when she was comin' at me with that freaky look on her face during "You're The One That I Want", I thought she was gonna eat me alive. She was just so... Rachel. I was scared that I wasn't gonna be able to handle being around someone who was so... big, you know? I mean, yeah, she's really short and everything, but there was something about her that just filled up whatever space she happened to be in. And it freaked me out because, even though I'm a big guy, I've never filled up any space. I've always just been kinda "there".
Anyways, Rachel first scared me because she was bigger than anyone else I knew. Then, as I got to know her better, she scared me because she thought I could be bigger than anyone else, too. It started with the music: right from the beginning, she always told me that I could be a really great singer. And because she's a really great singer, I believed her. And the more time we spent together, workin' on improving my range, the more I started to feel like a bigger person. And I liked it. I liked knowing that there were more things that I could do - that I could be - than the quarterback of the football team, or Noah Puckerman's best friend, or Quinn Fabray's boyfriend. And I liked Rachel because she's the one who showed me that.
That's what made everything so complicated. Even though I liked Rachel, and I knew she really liked me, I couldn't do anything about it because I was with Quinn, and I still really liked her, too. I mean, yeah, I kissed Rachel a couple of times, and it was really hot... hotter than when I kissed Quinn. But, Quinn was my girlfriend, and I'm not a cheater.
Things got even more complicated when Quinn and Puck joined glee. First, Quinn kept getting mad every time I sang with Rachel, or even looked at her, even if it was part of our performance. Then, when Puck sang to Rachel and they started dating, she got mad about that, too. And it bothered me that Puck was kinda into Rachel and not just interested in getting into her pants, because I was still kinda into Rachel, too. So, I was glad when they broke up.
I think I would of broken up with Quinn and gone for Rachel if it hadn't been for the baby. But, I never said anything to Rachel about that, especially because she was mad at me for playing with her feelings for me to get her to come back to glee . I hated what I did to her. But I know what it's like to grow up without a dad, so there was no way my kid was gonna know how that felt, too. That's why even though Quinn would sometimes be really mean, and make me feel like I wasn't good enough to be a father to our baby, I stayed. I figured that it was just the pregnancy hormones making her crazy, and that we'd eventually be okay because we loved each other. And with Rachel, as long I could keep singing with her and bein' filled up by the music we made together, I figured we'd eventually be okay, too.
Then Rachel told me the truth about Quinn's baby. I was so mad at Quinn and Puck for lyin' to me like that. But, I was also really mad at myself. Because I knew. I knew, and I never said anything.
Most people think I'm dumb, and maybe I am, but I'm not that dumb. Especially when it comes to people. I've always been able to tell when somethin' doesn't feel right, or when someone isn't being straight with me. So, I knew Puck was kinda mad when I started dating Quinn, even though he pretended he wasn't. I saw how he looked at us when he saw us kissing after we did the Single Ladies dance and won the football game. I knew that when he was raggin' on Quinn for looking fat, there was something more going on, because she didn't fight back. Quinn always fights back.
I knew Quinn was lyin' to me when she told me about how she got pregnant: even if the thing about the sperm and the hot water was true, we were wearing our bathing suits, and there's no way the sperm could of gotten past that. I knew she was lyin' to me when I walked in on her and Puck that time they were covered in all that flour and stuff. They weren't just baking, they were kissing. Or maybe they were just about to. But I never said anything, because Quinn chose me. She knew I wasn't the real father of her baby, but she wanted me to be. And that counts for somethin', right? She chose me. And now that the truth's out, she wants me to choose her. The thing is, so does Rachel.
I know Rachel told me about Quinn and Puck because she didn't like that they were lyin' to me, her friend. But I also know she told me because she was hoping I'd break up with Quinn to be with her. And, I wanted to - I still kinda want to - but there's Drizzle... I mean, the baby. I know she's not mine, but she feels like she is. I love her more than anything else in my life, and I would do anything for her. The thing is, if I choose the baby, then doesn't it mean I choose Quinn, too? And if I choose them, doesn't it mean that I can't choose Rachel?
Rachel told me one time that I take the path of least resistance. She said it was one of the ways we were different: people like me because I make it easy for them to like me, and people don't like her because she doesn't make it easy for them. I thought about what she said for a long time after, because it kinda made sense to me, even though I didn't really get it. The thing is, Rachel is great once you get to know her. Sure, getting to know her is hard, but once you do, it's really easy to like her. With me, I think it's really easy for people to like me because they don't get to know me, and I never say anything to make them want to. So, it's like I'm not even a real person to them. Maybe that's how Quinn and Puck were able to screw me over like that. I don't know. But I do know this: I'm done. I'm done with bein' the guy who's easy to like. I'm done with never saying anything. I'm done with people not knowing who I really am.
Finn walks up the path to the front door, shoulders hunched, hands shoved deep in his pockets. It didn't take him as long as he thought it would to decide what he was going to do about Quinn, Rachel, the baby, the rest of his life. He knows that the choice he's making is going to be met with resistance, but he doesn't care. He has accepted that she's what really matters to him. So he wants to be the kind of man she needs him to be. It's the kind of man he knows he can be.
Squaring his shoulders, he takes a deep breath and knocks on the door. When she opens it, surprise, then confusion, then a tiny glimmer of hope flashes in her large, beautiful eyes... eyes he knows so well.
"Hi", he says, stepping into the hallway. "Can I come in? I have something to say."