Till the last shots fired pt2

2-06-1914

Cloud wrote back. I was so worried that he wouldn't and I was really frightened that I had annoyed him in some way. Which I obviously had, the evidence is in his letter. I don't want to lose my friendship with him and before his reply came I was really scared that I might. Admittedly it's quite a shaky friendship and my father seems determined to put it to an end, but I still love it for what it's forth. I'm going to have to keep this book under lock and key now after admitting that. If my father reads it he'll march straight into that training camp and demand that Cloud be shot; as is only typical of him.

He's annoying me so much with this stupid idea he's got that I don't know how to handle myself and I'd be a victim to any man – particularly Cloud, miles away as he is – and I would throw myself at any passing male if only to satisfy my 'inner hunger'. I'm not sure if I'm more insulted that's all he thinks of me, or worried that he may be correct. There have certainly been times when I've had to seriously rein myself in when I was around Cloud. But it's Cloud! He wouldn't take advantage of any woman in a weakened state, let alone me!

I'm finding myself liking Clouds idea of moving away more and more as my father gets more and more obsessive. He's not bothered about Johnny though, oh no, it's just Cloud that bothers him. I don't even know why! Cloud has gone now! He even said he was never coming back... Damn, splashes on the paper... That's going to run... My book is filled with running pages now. Dates back from the 7th of May, the day before Cloud said he was leaving. I cannot stop crying about this small fact and it's really irritating me that my eyes are all red and puffy half the time.

Anyway, this letter made me cry more than usual, it was just too sweet and I could almost feel pain through the words written on the paper. And his unabashed sincerity about the fact he wouldn't be brave enough to write what he did if he didn't do it immediately had me rushing to find some tissues. I don't know what's wrong with me, practically all he did was explain why he didn't reply and then apologised profusely for it, there was no reason for me to be so upset.

He even seemed guilty and it made my heart hurt to think that I was the one to make him feel bad. I always seem to be doing that, making him feel bad. Now I'm thinking about it, all his letters seems to have an undercurrent of hurt in them, but if I don't know what about, then I can hardly apologise and make it better can I?

Dad just came in and asked what I was writing. I said I was writing in my diary, which wasn't exactly untrue, but if he knew who I was writing about... I can only imagine how cross he would be, the diary would end up in the flames I'm sure. Argh! Every time I think about that it just annoys me! He wants me to spend all my time with Johnny when he's on leave! I know he's my friend, but I would rather spend the week with Cloud... Oh here I go, crying again, it always happens when I think of him... Maybe I should go to bed before I ruin the book. I'll write a reply to Cloud tomorrow... Somewhere outside so I can post the letter without having to come home. Good night.

3-06-1914

Dear Cloud,

The morning is fresh and the skies are clear. I find it much easier to write a letter with a clear head and this letter was one I felt deserved a clear head for writing. To begin with, you have no reason to apologise because you were entirely correct, it was wrong of me to write you a letter about someone else and I promise never to do it again. I really cannot blame you for ignoring my letters, although it injures me slightly to know that you would willingly stop writing. I know I wouldn't be able to keep myself from writing... No matter how long it took you to reply. Which is why I am so ecstatically happy to have read your letter at last, even if it was a little on the blue side.

Cloud, have I ever told you I considered you to be a coward? Just the fact you were willing to write such a letter to me at all, after how I offended you tells me you are not a coward. You opted to go to war and fight for your country, telling the world you are not a coward. You just asked me what 'with love' meant, even though I know you are probably waiting with baited breath for the answer to come along, I know you are not a coward, so apologising for something you are not seems a little pointless don't we think?

I'm very sorry for ever causing you jealousy, but the fact that you could feel jealous about me puts little butterflies in my stomach so I'm not too sorry about it. I'm tempted to make you jealous again if only to see that written once again in your handwriting.

Speaking of your handwriting, you may want to change it occasionally, or call me by some other name because my eagle eyed father has begun rooting through the post the second it hits the mat. I think he's searching for your letters, even if his excuse is the tax man – he's never been so enthusiastic about that in his life so there's no reason for him to start now. I enjoy your letters more than anything else and the thought of them ending up in the flames is one I cannot bare.

I would love to see you when you are on leave, no matter what my father says, maybe we could meet somewhere away from Nibelheim? I would much rather spend the time with you than Johnny and if I'm not in the town then there's no danger of being caught up by him. I'll leave it to you to decide, just so long as I know.

I won't push you to write to me every day, but words cannot express how happy I would be if you did.

With love,

Tifa.

P.S. 'With love', is exactly as it sounds. I'm sending this letter as a reasonable substitute for the love I can't simply put in an envelope. It makes sense to me. I suppose you may interpret it however you see fit.

I could have almost kissed the letter at the end, just to prove my point, but then again sending a letter with lip marks on it isn't really my style and I doubt Cloud would appreciate it. Anyway, before I take this letter to the post office I have one to write for Johnny. I know Cloud doesn't like him and I know he's not exactly the most amiable of people, but I enjoy his letters; they make me laugh. Not that Cloud hasn't made me laugh before, that's not what I meant. What I meant was... Oh never mind, here are the letters.

Tifa,

Life here is hard in the army, but I had expected that. There is nothing I haven't come prepared for and I am pleased to inform you I am being regarded with the highest respect by my senior officer; Corporal says I would make a great team leader in the coming battles. I told him I was only too happy to oblige.

I know the other men on the platoon would be delighted to have me as their leader, they've already been approaching me with problems they need solving and family issues. I'm fast becoming the resident agony aunt, although I cannot say I reject the position – it's the least I can do.

My mother sent me a jar of jam yesterday, the raspberry kind, but I much prefer the strawberry jam you sent me a few weeks ago I would like some more please.

Is there anything you would like while I'm away? I could bring you a gift for when I'm on leave, or maybe even a bottle of wine to enjoy on a moonlit night under the stars. I would really like that. Did I mention how good at dancing I am, maybe I could take you to the dance when I get back, I'm sure you said at one point that you liked dancing.

You would never believe what just happened, Chocobo head just bumbled in and spilt toilet water down Zack's back and he's having to lick it all off again. I would go and help him out but I'm afraid that Zack wouldn't appreciate that. I feel sorry for Chocobo head, he always gets saddled with cleaning the toilets because he's too small and weak to do anything else. It's such a shame that his dreams got crushed so easily, especially when all he wanted was to impress you.

I hope you're doing well and I wish your father good luck on the house auctions.

Your boy,

Johnny.

I've been a little suspicious of Johnny's credibility for some time, but the idea of Cloud being forced into licking water of some guy's back is just ridiculous.

Johnny,

Congratulations on your achievement, it sounds wonderful to be respected by such a high ranking officer, but won't it be a bit dangerous on the front line of the battle field? I wouldn't want for you to be harmed and my father sends his own warning. He said – and I quote – "Tell that young lad to watch himself, you never know who'll be the one to bring you down, be it the 'coats' or the home team." Personally I think he's going a little bit mad with all the pressure of the auction, but you can never be too careful. He also sends his thanks for your consideration of his housing endeavour.

It's fantastic that you've got so many friends in your platoon, they will come in handy when you're out in the war, but I wish you and Cloud wouldn't fight. From his letters I can tell the pair of you have been getting along like cats and dogs. I really don't want either of you to feel miserable or excluded so could you please try to get along with him.

As for gifts, I really don't mind if I don't get anything at all so you shouldn't waste your money on wine or anything of that nature, after all I don't drink. I'm surprised you remembered how much I enjoy dancing, I thought it was an insignificant point and wouldn't have been surprised in the slightest had you chosen to ignore it entirely. I would like to go to the dance when you get back, but unfortunately I won't be in town then I don't think. I don't know, I'll see closer to the time, but thank you for the sentiment.

Good luck,

Tifa.

I think I did a good job at sounding interested, but after Cloud's letter I'm feeling less inclined to write freely to Johnny, as if I have to keep it clipped. Not that his self-absorbed boasting struck any real interest with me in the first place, but I don't want Cloud to be the only one making an effort to make me feel special, which is undeniably what is happening. I want to make him feel special too but I just don't know how...

Oh gosh, now I sound like some love struck little girl again, not an 18 year old barmaid talking about her childhood friend. Maybe I should get myself a cold drink of water or something... Anything to get these butterflies out of my stomach...

06-06-1914

I got Cloud's letter today. Just the sight of it on the doormat sent chills up my spine and I think my stomach started doing the conga. It was a lot thinner than I had expected and a lot lighter than his usual letters, which usually span two or three pages in his big, clear writing. I always thought he wrote so prettily but when I told him that he just went pink and began writing like a gorilla, oh well.

I'm not ashamed to say I would have liked to see a little more spelled out on the paper, but the content of what was there was definitely worth reading:

Tifa,

Should I begin to call you Tiffany from now on, or would you be happy with Teef? Tenshou? Hachi? The list could go on although if I invent any more pet names for you I feel I might lose track. I don't blame your father at all for wanting to burn my letters, I would want to burn them too if I thought my daughter was in danger from a man she personally professed to have given her butterflies. I think my ego might have just choked every bloke in the room just then.

If you want to see me on leave I'll meet you wherever you want, be it in Nibelheim or anywhere else, any time with you is worth travelling for.

I'll make a point of writing a letter every day, even if I don't receive much of a reply in between, although don't expect me to compose any sonnets or declarations. I'm saving them.

You said you write 'with love' as a substitute for the real thing? Very well.

With love,

Cloud.

P.S. Johnny tipped a load of water over Zack's back and had to lick it off. Highly amusing.

Now what woman would not be squirming in her seat from reading such a letter? I know I am no such woman. I was wriggling around like a can of worms by the end of it and after reading it through twice I couldn't help but hug the paper. I've stuck the letter – albeit a little crumpled – in here and will treasure it forever and a day, father be damned. Is it so unfair to suppose I may actually be falling in love with a certain Cloud Strife?

A/N:

I am so sorry about the wait and I must explain that I have had no internet for the past 4 months (or however long ago it was the christmas was xD) and it's damn near killed me all this while. That and the writers block xD

But I hope this makes up for it, although it's been a little while since my last installment of this... drabble I suppose one should call it, and as you can most likely pressume from my writing I've become very english recently.

Please exccuse me, I shall depart and write up the next installment of 'Till the last shots fired'.

-Okami