Hello all,
this is a bit more PG stuff than what I'm used to but I can't get this concept out of my head so here it is-
the story chronicles Lily's relationship with James, Sirius, Severus and Remus through the medium of romantic period novels.
The first chapter is set in fifth year, between Remus and Lily and is set around that of Sense and Sensibility.
I would love to here your views on this- i.e. REVIEW please!
And I would love to know what other novels you think I'll choose for everyone else.
James and Lily will not be Pride and Prejudice! Whilst I'll admit there are similarities, James never thought that Lily was beneath him like Darcy did Elizabeth.
Clue; all novels were written by women, from England in the nineteenth century.
So thanks very much for reading and please review! :D
I own nothing by JK or Miss Austen. Their genius is all their own.
BGWSRS
"Where so many hours have been spent in convincing myself that I am right, is there not some reason to fear I may be wrong?"
September
"So, you're the other prefect, huh?" a noticeably more womanly version of the Lily Evans he had left at the end of fourth year asked him analytically.
Remus nodded mutely before realising she was trying to start a conversation with him. To be honest he wasn't really sure if that was safe territory. James liked her, she hated him. Wasn't he supposed to be on James's side in all of this? Didn't talking to her cross the line somewhere?
Remus wasn't quite sure.
But then again, he never was. The unwitting fair headed boy often stumbled into situations before he realised what was happening and as a result of luck, nothing- apart from being bitten- had ever left him too horribly scarred. Unless one counted ending up with Sirius Black and James Potter as best friends when all one wanted was a quiet life to be unlucky.
"Err...yeah," he qualified uncertainty. The badge said he was the prefect, so he assumed no one had made too huge an error.
Silence settled in as they waited for the other prefects to fill the carriage before the Head Boy and Girl began their speeches.
Remus wasn't very used to talking to Lily Evans. Whenever she was around, James usually made most of the noise and Remus was quite happy to let him.
Not to say that he hadn't noticed her.
Because he had.
Lily Evans was....scary. Not so much in herself, but just when you spend three years seeing someone as practically infallible and indestructible, watching a petite, red head fell that someone right in front of your eyes can be quite...unnerving.
That was exactly what Lily Evans was. Unnerving.
If she could level someone as strong as James, imagine what she would do to him.
Remus didn't like to think about what she was already doing to him.
"Good summer?" she asked politely, now gazing at him with her pretty green eyes. He wished she wouldn't.
Remus wasn't used to being looked at. Not when Sirius and James were around. He was...background noise. And he preferred it that way. Less...commotion and trouble that way.
Less for people to assume.
He really wished she would stop looking at him.
"Err...yeah," he said again, a strangled sound in his voice. She was just some girl. Some tiny little thing that Slughorn could probably crush with his pinkie finger and he couldn't even describe his summer to her.
Now she was sighing.
What would James say?
"Oi, Evans! Come over here and let me put a smile on your face."
Definitely not the Remus Lupin approach.
Nothing unassuming or peaceful about that type of remark. At least not where Lily Evans was concerned.
"Listen, Remus..."
Now she was fully facing him. She must honestly think he was in love with that window, the way he kept staring at it so.
"I know Potter probably has you all full of ideas about me...some of them are probably true...but not all of them, Remus. I'm not so bad. You can ask anyone...although maybe not Olivia Fitzgerald- she hates me. But anyone else, Remus. I daresay I can actually be quite tolerable at times."
There was a hint of mirth in her voice. Remus could see why.
If he had to choose an adjective to describe Lily Evans...tolerable would be the last one he would ever pick.
Lily Evans was...
Original.
Unique, even.
Passionate.
Vivacious.
Some might say provocative.
There was no way anyone could meet Lily Evans and merely tolerate her. She was a love/hate person.
Not at all like him.
He was tolerable.
He was...in an adjective...indifference.
"I'd like us to be friends this year, Remus. If for no other reason than we have to work together. It'd make things a whole lot easier, don't you think?"
Easy?
Being friends with Lily Evans.
It was an odd prospect. Intriguing, no doubt. It might be nice to have some friends who actually were interested in books and things. Similar to him.
Not that there was anything wrong with not liking books. A person could get too introverted.
Working together? Remus hadn't thought of that.
Working with Lily Evans?
If James was to be believed, she'd have him whipped half to death before the first prefect meeting was over.
But then she said James was wrong about her?
And Lily Evans was always right.
"I didn't do much this summer really....saw Sirius and James quite a bit."
She was smiling now. That was surely a good sign. There was no way she could be planning his imminent destruction if she was smiling.
Was there?
"Same here," she replied, lifting her legs onto the seat. "Just hung around the house mostly. I got some really good extra reading done for O.W.L. level charms though...hopefully I'll remember most of it," she finished giggling before sweeping her curls behind her ears.
"Excuse me everyone," came the Head Boys voice. "I'm Timothy McGoldrick, for those of you who don't know, and I'd like to make a start if that's okay with everyone. First off, this year is going to be a lot of hard work..."
It certainly was, Remus thought as he sighed and tried not to glance too obviously at the girl sitting beside him.
If there was one verb Remus could pick to describe Lily Evans it would be work.
"It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy it is disposition alone. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others."
October
"I honestly don't know how you and the rest of them do it, Remus! It's only a month in and I'm already buried alive underneath parchment!" Lily groaned, rubbing her head, as they trotted around the castle corridors companionably.
There was certainly a different feel to patrolling after hours and sneaking out after hours. Whilst patrols lacked the excitement that sneaking out did, Remus had to admit that being authorized to be outside when no was else was definitely was a bit of a power rush.
"I do actually do work, you know?" Remus said in mock hurt. "I may not be buried alive by parchment like you, but that doesn't mean that I'm not suffocating on it."
Lily laughed.
A sound which Remus found he was enjoying more and more these days.
It could precede a number of things.
A witty remark.
A playful pat on the shoulder.
Or his personal favourite...a hug.
Merlin, he was like some love starved child. Yet when one spent most time with the Marauders, whose ultimate goal of manly perfection was only achievable by affection with women, one ended up treasuring the little bits of contact that someone as soft as Lily Evans gave.
Her hugs were peaceful.
Calming and reassuring.
She gave hugs generously too. To anyone who wanted.
All accept his three best friends.
Was this the line?
Remus didn't want to think about that.
"How's Severus?" he asked, changing the subject yet derailing any chance of a hug.
Lily made an odd noise.
"Hey," Remus said, daring to pat her gently on the arm. "It's only natural for him to have friends from his own house, you know?"
She nodded abruptly.
"Sorry," he added nervously, feeling that he had treaded on a sensitive subject.
Lily shook her head sparingly.
"I feel like I'm losing him," she said quietly, as Remus pretended that the irritable feeling in his stomach was not jealously.
"I doubt that," he replied truthfully. "Most people can see how much he cares about you. He just needs to branch out, Lily. He can't only talk to one person forever."
She was staring at him oddly.
"What?" he asked, severely unnerved.
She chuckled lightly.
"You called me Lily."
Realising the first, Remus smiled too.
"I believe I did."
"I'm sorry, it's just that no one calls me Lily except Sev...and some of the girls. You lot usually call me 'Evans'," she said quickly, still looking up at him curiously.
Remus laughed out loud now.
"'You lot'," he said with mirth. "We're not all James, you know Lily," he added, the mock hurt coming back into his voice again.
She stared at him oddly.
"I'm beginning to realise that," she said finally, before moving to give him a hug.
Ignoring the way her voice had been filled with emotion when she had last spoke, Remus sank into the hug.....
Which was now lasting for well over ten seconds.
This had to be the line.
Lily Evans was unnerving, yes, thought Remus.
But she was also...illuminating. Refreshing....
'Good for me'.
Like vegetables, after too many sweets.
She made him feel healthy again.
"But there is one comfort, my dear Miss Marianne; he is not the only young man in the world worth having; and with your pretty face you will never want admirers."
November
Something was wrong. It had to be. She kept glancing over at him.
Usually when Lily had something to say she just said it. Now she was just daring to look at him quickly before glancing away again.
And she was chewing on her bottom lip as well. A sign she was nervous.
Should he ask her?
Maybe.
But maybe he didn't want to know what was wrong- it hadn't taken the other three too long and Lily was by the far the quickest if not the brightest in their house.
He was back to his old fear again.
Would this change everything?
He doubted she'd offer to try and become an unregistered animagus as well.
.....
It felt different this time.
Last time, the prospect of losing James and the rest of them had been....annoying but inevitable to him. Something that was always bound to happen.
Now...losing Lily. Remus didn't really want to see that as an option.
She was a proud, strong Gryffindor who wouldn't desert someone for something that they had never planned on. Never wanted.
But then again, she was a girl.
Maybe girls were different?
Sirius definitely viewed girls as more fragile than boys.
Maybe that meant that they ran from something like this.
Remus sighed.
Why wouldn't she just say something?
She was tearing the edge of that book to bits. Madam Prince would have her head for that. It was brazen really. Tearing up a book in the library. But somehow, it seemed trivial.
Right now, it seemed trivial.
Staring back to his own book he saw that he had been effectively doing the same thing.
"I want to help."
Remus's head snapped up at the sound of her small voice. She was staring at him now, still chewing her lip, still tormenting that book.
He really didn't want to reply. If he replied, he knew exactly which route this conversation would go down.
This was the one part of his life that he didn't want her involved in. He wanted her to see the...the happiness in his life. The person he was despite his infliction.
If he admitted to this, she would never look at him the same way again...
Although he wasn't really sure how she looked at him.
Like it mattered anyways....
He could never be good enough for her.
"Please talk to me," her voice carried on, still timid and slightly breathless as he looked everywhere but her.
He coughed to begin his denial but she cut him off once more.
"I know what you're going to say and it's no use lying to me, Remus," she started gently. "I...I really want to be here for you," she went on, sounding very unsure- almost as if she was confessing something to him-, "you...you said we'd be friends, right? Well, this is what friends do for each other," Lily finished, her voice now coming out unusually high.
Remus wondered why she was nervous.
He turned to look at her; her face was beautifully flushed, her eyes bright and wild with something he couldn't place and she was now knotting her hands in her lap.
All in all, Remus thought it was very ironic that the moment he fell in love with Lily Evans was the moment he had always hoped would never come.
He took a deep breath.
"What do you want me to say?" he asked weakly, knowing that they were on very tender ground now. If he said the wrong thing she might never speak to him again. That was the type of person that Lily was- all or nothing.
She chuckled a little in response, looking down at her lap- eyes moving everywhere.
"I'd like you to...to tell me the truth, Remus," she said simply, and he noticed out of the corner of his eye that she'd moved one hand over to grasp his.
He didn't know whether or not his breathing was speeding up because of what he was about to say or because of the fact that she was touching him.
"It happened when I was seven..."
"Brandon is just the kind of man,' said Willoughby one day when they were talking of him together, 'whom everybody speaks well of, and nobody cares about; whom all are delighted to see, and nobody remembers to talk to."
December
Remus yawned sleepily as he trudged down the stairs from his bedroom, the tinsel and Christmas tree peeking out from his view to the living room.
He could hear his mother bustling around in the kitchen, no doubt already starting on their dinner for the rest of the day. It was usually just the three of them.
Being a boy with no siblings was lonely sometimes, but most of all on Christmas morning. There was no one to chuck wrapping paper at and play with the wrong toys. It was just him, and the small bundle of presents under the tree.
Sitting down he sifted through the usual presents- a jumper from his aunt, a bit of broom polish from the relatives on his dad's side who were notoriously stingy and thus all banded together to get everybody one present and some form of cologne from his mother- who had taken to asking him if he had a girlfriend yet in every letter.
There was nothing from the rest of the Marauders- they had all long ago given up on buying each other presents.
For one, at Christmas, James was insufferable- he had much more money than either of the rest of them so he always embarrassed them by giving them something hugely expensive. Also- he had everything. There was literally nothing they could buy for him that he didn't already have.
Sirius was usually locked in the house at Christmas and not allowed out until various different magical traditions had taken place. So generally he despised Christmas. Aside from that, any money that he did have was logged strictly by his family in a large accountancy book so he rarely could buy anything that they didn't approve of. And presents for half-bloods came under that category.
Peter had seemed happy enough to give up on the whole present thing, having never had much imagination on the whole idea of gifts anyways.
He had once given Remus a book on werewolves and their habits.
Ripping open the last present, covered in plain brown paper Remus was surprised to see a book.
A gift that he had never been given by his parents due to the fact that they were both avid readers themselves, so they usually just lent him novels.
Sense and Sensibility
By Jane Austen
Flicking open the pages, he had to backtrack a few when he noticed some inky scribbles on a blank page.
Dear Remus,
Merry Christmas! I hope you're having a good one.
I like this book so you should like it too.
See you in January!
Love, Lily xxx
Telling his mum not to bother with breakfast, Remus ran back up the stairs, flopped down on his bed, and began to read.
"I could not be happy with a man whose taste did not in every point coincide with my own. He must enter into all my feelings; the same books, the same music must charm us both. . . ."
January
"Well...." came Lily's sly voice, as she sidled up to him in the library, two days after they had just started back. "What do you think?" she queried brightly, setting herself down in front of him, as he set down his book. He noticed she frowned slightly when she realised that it was not Sense and Sensibility that he was reading.
"About what?" he asked back, trying not to grin.
"The book, silly!" she replied exasperatedly, batting his arm in impatience. "Isn't Austen just the most wonderful thing you've ever read?!" she half-asked animatedly, her eyes lighting up in fervour.
He wanted to say yes- but only because she had given it to him. If he was honest- her inscription was exactly right. He loved it automatically because she did too.
"It was pretty good," he responded meekly, as she rolled her eyes.
"Pretty good!" she mimicked with distaste. "It's bloody brilliant," she finally mumbled, folding her arms and setting her head down in them.
"I did love it," he said hurriedly, hoping that he hadn't offended her, but breathing a sigh of relief when she looked up happily. "Really."
She beamed out a smile which lit up the whole library and made him think that he should like everything she liked, just to get her to smile like that more often.
"Wonderful," Lily breathed, before patting his arm reassuringly. A movement which made his cheeks heat up. But, as he said to himself consolingly- it had been a while since he had seen her- he was allowed to feel awkward around her again.
"Here," he said awkwardly, deciding that the chances of giving her his Christmas present and seeing her smile again outweighed the chances of her hating it and never speaking to him again. Rooting around in his pocket he pulled out a small black box, and pushed it across the table to her, pretending not to notice the look of shock on her face.
He tried not to look at her as she opened the box, but found after a while that he could not resist it. And she was staring down at the contents of a small green butterfly necklace with the most undecipherable look on her face.
"Erm...my mum said something about girls and jewellery...I thought...needed to get you..." he coughed out even more awkwardly than before, thinking that his face must now be the colour of her hair.
And then she was looking up at him and he felt fear growing in his stomach as he noticed tears pooling in her eyes.
"I'm sorry...." he said urgently, reaching out to take the box, "I'll take it back...it was stupid..."
She had stood up, and he was debating whether or not to go after her when she walked away.
He didn't have to, because he noticed shakily that she was now kneeling beside his chair.
"I love it," she whispered breathlessly, before placing a small, gentle kiss on his cheek and rising to make her way out of the library, necklace in hand.
It was three hours before Remus moved.
"The business of self-command she settled very easily: with strong affections it was impossible..."
February
"No date today?" Lily asked him, as she sat down beside him on common room couch. A common room which was empty due to everyone being in Hogsmeade on their Valentine's Day dates.
He shook his head almost jovially, inwardly laughing at her thought that he would have a date. He was friends with James and Sirius- he knew that no one was looking at him.
"Me neither," she said sighing, "although on the plus side, there's a huge bunch of flowers from Potter which I can tell everybody are from someone else," she finished, as he looked over at her and saw her to be smiling.
Smiling back he felt a little twinge in his stomach at the thought of James and how much he had fussed over what flowers to send her.
How Remus had wanted to tell him to send her orchids, her favourite.
Although then James would want to know how he knew that.
And would probably figure out where she got that butterfly necklace that she wore everywhere from.
"You care about him...a lot, don't you?" she asked quietly, as Remus began to fear where this conversation was going to go.
He nodded again, and coughed as his voice came out strangled.
"Of course I do," he replied hurriedly, "he's my best mate."
He was sure that that last bit came out meaningfully, and Remus couldn't decide whether or not that was a bad thing.
Now it was her nodding and looking down in her lap.
"Then I'm sorry," she said strangely, as Remus wondered what she meant.
"For what?" he asked, somewhat dumbly.
"For this," she breathed.
And then she was kissing him.
And he was finding it very difficult to move away. Because her lips had erased all thoughts of James, and his Lily and the flowers.
Because right now, all that Remus could think- was that she really should belong to him.
Remus would bet that he wanted her more.
And proved himself to be right by kissing her back in a horribly hurried way, afraid that she might pull away. Afraid that she might finally realise that in her story, Willoughby actually wanted her and Colonel Brandon was and should be her second choice.
Except with the way she was kissing him, holding on to him, moving against him, Remus was inclined to think that maybe she was choosing the older, less handsome man.
And then it became too much for him to handle.
And he pulled away just in time to see James, Sirius and Peter standing at the portrait hole watching him in anger, disgust and admiration respectively.
"...He long thought of Colonel Brandon with envy and of Marianne with regret..."
March
The two them sat quietly under the beech tree, the sun just beginning to set, their hands clasped together.
Remus didn't know when kissing Lily in public had become an 'okay' thing. After catching them together, Sirius had taken him aside later that day and punched him, yelling things about loyalty and friendship and Remus hadn't even bothered to protest because he knew what he said was all true.
Until Lily had come to his defence and yelled at Sirius about friendship and happiness and love and Sirius had called her a despicable word and Remus couldn't help himself and had punched him back.
It was truly a stupid thing to do but it made Sirius stop yelling.
And then Sirius had come to him the next morning to tell him that if Lily made him happy then he should be with her.
Remus had asked about James. And was curtly told by the man himself that he didn't give a flying fuck and he could do whatever he wanted with her because he had never really liked her anyways.
So Remus had begun to kiss Lily.
First it was in corridors between classes and when he returned to his friends, James's face was red and Sirius wasn't looking at him.
Then she began to sit beside him in class and kissed him on the cheek whenever they parted ways, and Remus could feel James's shaking and see the clench in Sirius's jaw.
And then one day she came in the boy's dorm and kissed him right in front of them all- simply because she missed him, she had said. But Remus knew otherwise. He knew she was proving a point. Because Lily could never love by halves.
And after she had left James had excused himself quietly to go to the bathroom, and they all winced when they heard something break.
And now it was his birthday, and even if all Sirius had ever done was call him a twat and say he was born in a zoo on the occasions previous to this year, Remus still missed it.
He missed James's clap on the shoulder and rousing call of "Happy Birthday, mate."
He missed Peter forgetting and asking what day it was, and going a vibrant shade of red when Sirius reminded him and then called him a twat.
She was nuzzling into his neck and Remus marvelled at her abilities to make him forget everything.
All his troubles.
All his feelings.
All his friends.
All he could think of was her and her touch.
"Come on," she had said quietly, pulling him up off the ground and towards the castle.
As they had arrived back to the common room, Remus had been surprised to notice that it was completely full and then had remembered that there had been a Quidditch game earlier that day and Gryffindor had won.
Out of the corner of his eye, he had noticed the Marauders all crowded round one another, not even looking up at him as Lily pulled him up towards his dormitory.
And then suddenly they were on his bed and the same thing was happening again. All Remus knew was that she was beneath him, kissing him passionately, tugging his shirt over his head.
She was making noises, which when he heard them were making it very hard for him to breath. So he started to unbutton her shirt, because his hands very refusing to do anything else- somehow gluing themselves to her and desperate to feel any form of skin that they could.
Trying not to act like too much of a fool when he finally realised that she was now just wearing a bra, he suddenly didn't know where to look but the giggle from her made him raise his eyes to meet her own and he saw that she was smiling beautifully at him and he couldn't help but smile back.
She pulled him to kiss her again.
When he put his hands on her smooth skin, she breathed his name and to stop himself from ripping her undergarments off right there, he buried his head into her neck, surprised to hear himself moaning gruffly into her sweet skin.
"Hey, Moony, look we realise..."
He jumped a foot in the air when he heard James's voice coming from the doorway, and sat up to get himself as far away as possible from his half naked girlfriend, before he realised that she was clinging to him, desperate to shield herself from the eyes of his three friends.
So he did what he was supposed to do as her boyfriend and wrapped his arms around her, covering her exposure completely.
Turning his head slightly, he dared to see his friend's expressions, each hurtful in their own, but James's in particular sent a stab of regret to his heart. He looked destroyed.
"Sorry," he heard James mumble, before making his way over to his own bed, staring in the opposite direction.
Sirius and Peter followed suit.
Gingerly, and with her face deliciously pink, Lily put on her shirt, kissed him and made her way slowly from the doorway, whispering 'Happy Birthday' to him before she exited completely.
There was silence as he put his own shirt back on.
He didn't really know what to say.
Neither did any of his friends apparently.
"Happy birthday, Moony," Sirius said quietly, giving him a small smile and gesturing towards Peter.
Remus turned his head oddly towards Peter and was violently surprised to see his friend morph into a rat before his very eyes.
"You managed it?" he coughed out, turning to Sirius only to see a dog in place of his best friend.
"Yeah," James mumbled from the corner of the room, still not looking at him.
Remus felt the tears prick his eyes, and knew what he had to do.
"Lily?"
"Yeah?"
"Why do you think Marianne ended up with Colonel Brandon?"
"Because she loved him silly, that's why!"
......
"Why do you?"
"Because she couldn't have Willoughby...."
"Oh."
"To your sister I wish all imaginable happiness; to Willoughby that he may endeavour to deserve her."