What if, one day during the summer before his fifth year – Harry got fed up with Mrs. Black's screeching?

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the rights – I am writing this, purely to elevate my own boredom – and hopefully to amuse some people too.

Mrs. Black's Last Screech

Or, Why didn't anyone think of that before?

It was a rather muggy summer's day, just a few days after Harry's trial when Harry awoke early and went downstairs to have a cup of coffee, as he waited for the others to get up, and tackle a day of cleaning.

To his surprise, one Nymphadora Tonks, Remus Lupin and Sirius Black were already up and drinking their own coffees.

'Morning!' Tonks chirped, ever the morning person.

'Good Morning Harry.' Remus said, sending him a sleepy smile.

Sirius just gave him an awkward nod of acknowledgement, before draining the rest of his coffee, and gesturing sleepily for him to bring more over.

Harry, despite being half asleep himself, snorted at Sirius' lack of awareness.

Harry poured himself a cup, and drained half of it before walking over and giving Sirius the pot, which he clutched to his stomach, as one would a teddy when they are scared.

Harry placed his cup on the table, and hid a smile at who was in the doorway. He glanced at Tonks and Remus, who both winked at him, telling him that they knew – silently.

Sirius was still clutching at the coffee pot when a yell broke him from his sleepy state – or maybe it was the hot coffee going down his top and pants.

'CONSTANT VIGELANCE!'

Moody was in the doorway to the kitchen, a fully loved scaring the living daylights out of Sirius.

Harry, Remus and Tonks all broke down laughing, whilst Sirius just glared at them, before going to make another pot.

Moody's yell seemed to have awoken the rest of the house, and they came downstairs, making sure not to wake Mrs. Black's portrait – although all were surprise Moody's shout didn't awaken her.

All except one that is – who was still fast asleep. And that one would be a Mr. Ronald Wooslib – oops, I mean Weasley.

It was about an hour later, when all the smells of breakfast were wafting through the house, that Ron awoke, and forgetting where he was, ran down stairs, making as much noise as possible.

Ron suddenly remembered where he was, when his breakfast run was interrupted by the screeching of one Mrs. Black.

Ron stared in shock and fear. His mum was going to kill him – or even worse, Harry was going to yell at him.

This was quite possibly true, as over the past few weeks that Harry has been at the Order's headquarters, everytime Mrs. Black started screeching he would get increasingly irritated, and his eye would start twitching, and he would often start yelling at the one who set her off – even if it was Snape or Dumbledore.

Snape had tried to give him detention a few times, but was stopped each time by either Dumbledore or McGonagall.

When the screeching was heard in the kitchen, everyone turned to Harry, whose eye had indeed started to twitch.

The adults immediately rushed out, trying to shut the portrait up, and the kids left, trying to get Ron to hide. But, unfortunately, or fortunately, they were all too slow.

'THAT'S IT!' Harry yelled at the top of his lungs, making everyone wince.

Harry picked up his mug of coffee and his wand and went to the hall where the portrait was.

'Sirius – 'Harry started calmly, with a still twitching eye.

'This is house is unplottable, right?'

'Yes…' Sirius confirmed hesitantly.

'Meaning underage magic cannot be traced?' Harry questioned again, with an evil grin.

'Yes.' Sirius replied instantly, before going pale, along with everyone else. They all turned and looked fearfully at Ron.

Amazingly, this entire conversation had gone on, despite the screeching Mrs. Black.

'Good' Harry replied coldly, before aiming at Mrs. Black's Portrait.

She stopped screeching momentarily to look at him.

'Mrs. Black, this is your last screech.' Harry told her, setting her off screeching again.

'Goodbye.' He said coldly.

'Incedio.' A red light shot out of his wand and set Mrs. Black's portrait on fire.

Everyone watched in surprise as her portrait was set alight, and as her portrait and half the wall were burned, before Harry put the fire out.

'What do you know...?' He said thoughtfully.

'They used flammable paints.' He shrugged and took a mouthful of his coffee, as he stared at the hole in the wall.

'You may want to fix that Sirius.' Harry said, glancing at Sirius before going back down to the kitchen to get more coffee.

'No kidding.' Sirius muttered, looking at what his godson had just done.

'Now, why didn't anyone think of that?' Tonks asked.

'I believe we have immersed ourselves into the world of wizardry too much, and lost our sense of logic. Luckily Harry still seems to have it.' Lupin told her, before following Harry back to the kitchen.

The majority of those present either nodded or shrugged, before following. None of them saw the look of horror on Hermione's face at the fact that she may have lost her logical thinking.

The End…

A/n: I hope you all like that, I got the idea for that when I was reading 'in the past to change the future: book 5'. So what did you think? Hope you all liked it.
By the way, I have a poll on my profile – check it out.