Can Cat Cannot

Kaori pondered her options carefully. There was plenty of choice available from the drinks machine, but which tin of juice would properly satisfy her thirst? She continued to ponder for some time, until a white can caught her interest. On the centre of the can displayed a face of a smiling beige cat; black dots for eyes and a button pink nose. It was also apple flavoured, but that didn't faze Kaori too much. It was the simple but cute design that sold her, and as chance would have it, was the last one available.

Smiling from her decision, Kaori inserted the money and pressed the appropriate button combination, allowing the chosen can to fall to the bottom. She happily picked it up, and was about to pull the ring, but immediately stopped in mid-pull. She felt a presence. The air around her felt… lighter and pleasant somehow.

The girl glanced up and looked straight ahead.

Capturing her unworthy sight was the heavenly, angelic, and solemn magnificence that was Sakaki, who had arrived at the scene shortly after Kaori purchased her drink. Kaori's eyes were replaced by thumping, bright pink hearts. The mere sight of Sakaki and her long, flowing raven hair was more than enough to send the love-struck girl into a fluffy cloud rollercoaster ride; destination – someplace wonderful.

Kaori then remembered that Sakaki was playing soccer in her previous lesson, knowledge that she overheard from some of the other girls in Sakaki's class. Perhaps Sakaki was thirsty, Kaori thought to herself; all that running around in the fierce sun would likely make anyone gasp for a nice cold juice in a can.

Her mind then sprung to life, as if a shining, glowing light bulb appeared above her head. She marched towards Sakaki with the unrivalled grace of a toy soldier, and offered her the can she previously purchased, as though it was a sacrificial offering to the Gods. Kaori was forced to wield the can with both of her hands, since her nervous encounter made the said object magnify in weight.

"U-Um… e-excuse me S-Sakaki-san," Kaori trembled, with a voice sounding a lot like Chiyo, if Chiyo was suddenly transformed into a mouse, "w-would you like a drink?"

Sakaki faced the smaller girl for a moment before slowly shaking her head.

"Sorry," she sombrely replied, "I just had something a short while ago."

Kaori looked downcast, like the world had sunk into nothingness. "Oh I see…"

Sakaki was about to walk away… when a crucial element in her memory forced her to retrace her steps. It was like somebody had just pointed a television remote towards Sakaki and pressed the rewind button. Her head turned sharply to the left, and her eyes confirmed the reality of her memory. She continued staring at the can of apple juice… or specifically… she continued staring at the picture of the cat shown on the can of apple juice.

"Wait!" Sakaki ordered, her voice unleashing a rare display of urgency.

Kaori froze on the spot, her hands still tightly clenching the drink.

Sakaki's cheeks turned a faint shade of pink. She smiled a tiny but very noticeable smile.

"Is it okay if… if I can have the can… after you have finished with it?"

Kaori stood there, dumbfounded. Her figure was substituted with a chibi-like replacement, and two disbelieving white circles replaced her eyes. Her mouth was hung agape, as though she silently uttered the word 'Eh?' She mentally took ten steps back and tried to analyse this situation.

"Sakaki-san… wants the can… after I have finished with it?! Could this be… could it be… that she wants my can… after I have pressed my lips upon it?! Does she want to press her lips on the can as well?!"

Poor Kaori could not handle the pressure and the confusion any longer. With this opportunity of an indirect kiss presented to her in such a swift and unprepared fashion, Kaori's face turned reddish, to deep red, to an implausible shade of dark purple. Her whole body temperature was potent enough to melt and evaporate an iceberg the size of a small country.

Summoning the courage to return to reality, Kaori nodded violently in response to Sakaki's potential life-changing request. To Sakaki's amazement, Kaori tore the ring open and chugged the can down in three heroic gulps. The girl then wiped the excess juice from her lips, and then offered the can to Sakaki, this time retaining some elegance and composure.

"An indirect kiss with Sakaki-san," Kaori blissfully wondered, as a pink background with rising hearts and bubbles appeared behind her.

"Kitten…" Sakaki marvelled, as a similar background also appeared behind her.

As Sakaki slowly accepted the empty can, a variety of fireworks, confetti and miniature angels all swam excitedly through Kaori's head. Her unreciprocated love was no longer unreciprocated. Truly, it was the greatest day that had completely overridden her history of other greatest days. To put it simply, Kaori had never been happier in all her life, and wished this moment would last for all eternity.

Sakaki was fingernails away from receiving the can, when all of a sudden, a pointed stick completely pierced through the centre of it. This tragic occurrence caused a colossus shockwave between the two girls, and they tried to decipher the horror of what had just happened. Their heads turned slowly and rigidly to one side. The pointed stick was whisked away, before Kimura removed the can from it. With his bony fingers, he crushed the can in a very nonchalant manner, and dropped it into a green sack filled with dozens of other crushed cans.

"Don't forget to recycle your cans Kaorin," Kimura informed his prized student.

The unorthodox teacher shuffled away to pick up some more rogue cans that were littered around the vicinity. Kaori and Sakaki, however, remained in a deep state of horrification, their whole bodies turning completely white, and their surroundings encased entirely in lightning bolts.