Title: My Head makes an Awesome Roost
Warnings: -
Pairing: None
Historical Events: None

Note: Triggered by two 'blogposts' on Prussia's 'blog'. :3

"Cheep."

Gilbert looked up upon hearing a small sound.

"Cheep."

Tiny.

He stood up and swiveled his head round, trying to locate the source of that ghastly, unbearably cute noise.

"Cheep cheep!"

He narrowed his eyes and blinked. It was here. Somewhere in the house. Near him. Again.

"Fuck."

He didn't know the reason why he had grown to dislike that noise. It gave him this warm, fuzzy feeling inside; and to an extent, that feeling disgusted him. He should have been able to get used to it. It had already been haunting him for days. What was it in the first place? Well obviously it was a bird but...

"Cheep."

Ugh.

He would hear a chirp out of nowhere, but there was no bird. How long has it been since it started? A week? Gilbert frowned and stomped over to the sofa where Ludwig was... Suddenly reading.

The newspaper.

Gilbert didn't see that newspaper in Ludwig's hands just a second ago. What? Was he pretending? Just to avoid looking directly at Gilbert's red eyes? To try and make sure his solitude went undisturbed?

That newspaper was an evil, evil artifact that was currently preventing West from giving him his full attention. It must be destroyed.

Gilbert shook his head to get rid of that violent feeling.

"Hey West!"

"What." Ludwig mumbled, not looking up from his newspaper and squaring his shoulders.

West was reading, it seemed.

"Have you seen a bird anywhere?"

"Bird?" He still wasn't looking up.

"Are you stupid, West? You know what a bird is, right?"

"Yes." Still not looking up.

"Have you seen one anywhere? In the house at least?"

"Why are you asking all this about a bird."

"It's chirping and chirping and chirping- I can't stand it, West!"

No reply. He appeared to be so engrossed in the small text on the thin, gray paper.

"West are you listening to me!?"

"No I haven't seen any. Try outside."

Gilbert glared momentarily at his companion, slightly infuriated by the lack of attention towards him, not like it was unusual or anything. He turned away from him and mumbled curses. The only times he didn't behave so coldy was when they were cleaning.

Cleaning.

And cleaning with West is not as enjoyable as it seemed. No no. Cleaning was never enjoyable, but it's a necessary evil.

"Cheep."

And getting rid of a stupid bird chirping away's also a necessary evil.

No, that action's considered good.

Gilbert mumbled under his breath. "I'm gonna find you, you stupid-" And he slammed the door shut. Unknown to him was West, finally looking up from his newspaper and blinking to himself, a teeny bit baffled.

---

"Cheep."

Shut up.

"Cheep."

Shut up.

"Cheep!"

Go away you fucking bird. What the hell did I do to deserve this torture.

Gilbert seethed with anger. And the worst thing was, he couldn't seem to find the source of it all. He clicked the mouse hard to open his email inbox. He began reading a newly recieved message. He had no idea who was it from. An admirer perhaps. Of course. A lot of people admired him because he's awesome.

"Please tell us the profile of the bird sitting on your head."

He blinked. What? He then proceeded to type his thoughts into a blog post.

There's a bird sitting on my head?

He lifted his hand to his head, just to check. He ended up hitting something soft.

Poofy even.

"Cheep!" It chirped urgently. "Cheep cheep!"

He lifted his hand again.

Chirping? Could that fucking bird be finally in his grasp?

He lowered his hand again and patted it, gently this time. It felt nice to touch. Very nice. But what was it?

"Cheep!" It chirped while Gilbert typed some more.

It fucking sat on my head.

He grabbed his phone from the far corner of the table and tried to take a picture of the dastardly fluffy creature on his head. He blinked as he stared at the vague image captured by his phone. He brought the phone close to his face. He squinted.

It was so fucking yellow. And round. And cute.

The sight of it made him feel warm inside.

Disgusting.

"I'm gonna kill you." He growled and snatched the bird off from the top of his awesome cranium.

"Cheeeep!" It screamed as it as it whizzed through the air, its body enclosed in the warm fingers of the person it had been roosting on. It wriggled and squirmed in his hand before he placed it on the table. It glared at him, but its beady eyes failed to convey anger. Gilbert glared back at it, successfully.

They managed to glare at each other for quite some time. Gilbert blinked, a little confused and scoffed. He turned and typed and clicked around on his computer some more. The bird watched him inquisitively, not making a sound for once.

Gilbert glanced at the yellow being. He extended his hand and the bird recoiled a little. He slowly brought his finger closer. The bird pecked it lightly. Gilbert blinked and started to absent-mindedly stroke its cheek with his finger. He took a picture of it and proceeded to type some more. The bird hopped to the keyboard and attempted to jump onto it, earning a small nudge from Gilbert. It was enough for it to fall backward.

"Cheeep..."

Gilbert bit back a smirk as he watched it roll back onto its feet. He typed and clicked some more.

It feels nice to touch.

He started to stroke it once more. The feeling of hatred seemed to have vanished all of a sudden. It perplexed him.

"Why me, huh?" He mumbled. Perhaps to himself, perhaps to no one, perhaps to the little bird.

"Cheep." It replied.

"Because I'm awesome, is that it?" Gilbert smirked.

"Cheep." It seemed to agree.

He scooped the bird up and placed it back on his head. It chirped delightedly. He could get used to this. He stood up and walked to the door. It was a like a little loyal follower of sorts. A companion.

And it chose his head. Not West's head.

His.

That proved all the more that he, Gilbert, Prussia, was awesome. In your face, West! The bird chose Prussia!

His smirk widened and he and pulled the door open.

"Hey West!"

A/N: Slight Gilbo OOC? I donno. :/ I got bored and I ended up writing about this.