Author's Note: You know, I think I'm actually slowly starting to get used to this whole "updating" thing! It actually took less than a month this time!

Warnings: More insanity. You guys probably know what to expect by now. ALTHOUGH IF YOU WANT A REAL WARNING… The beginning of the chapter is a bit boring. Sorry guys, I wish everything could be crack humor, but there has to be boring parts for it to at least be somewhat of a story.

Disclaimer: Ha! Sure, Kingdom Heart's is mine… in my dreams. No, seriously. I had a dream I owned Kingdom Hearts, and I took care of it, and fed it, and loved it. All of my neighbors thought it was strange that I was the owner of a floating, heart shaped moon, and Xemnas kept trying to steal it from me, but it was still a great dream.

- - - - - Chapter 5: Marluxia - - - - -

The apartment Roxas lived in had become his world, and on a Saturday, he left it for the first time since him and his siblings had been brought into it.

With no classes during the weekend, Riku, Sora, and Kairi had decided to finally set aside a day to clean the apartment fully. The apartment's carpeting was pretty nasty from cat hair and snack crumbs, the bathroom had gone from white to a light gray, and you couldn't even see the floor in Sora's room anymore. The plan was that everyone would clean their own rooms, and then they would split up the remaining work, but things pretty much went to Hell the moment the vacuum was whipped out. In her terror of the roaring machine, Naminé had bolted off of Kairi's bed and attempted to hide behind the closest object. Which unfortunately was the vase on Kairi's nightstand, that had been lovingly sculpted and painted by her deceased grandmother. Thankfully the girl was able to save her precious vase from its demise when she caught sight of her cat moving from the corner of her eye. She dived across the room and caught the vase just as it was toppling over the edge of her nightstand; although her floor got splashed with dirty water and lilies.

Riku and Sora, who were working (or in Sora's case, struggling) with their own rooms, had heard her shout, and came running to see what happened. Once the story was explained, the three quickly came to the conclusion that it would be best if the cats were out of the apartment while they cleaned. Riku was unwilling to let madmen like Demyx or Luxord watch Xion, and the rest of the neighbors probably wouldn't be gentle with the kittens, so they were running low on solutions. Sora however, saw no problem, and was quick to state that if Axel was fine roaming the apartment building, the kittens would probably be fine too.

Which is how Roxas found himself, along with his sisters and a creeper, thrown out of his home.

The kittens stared at the door to their home in horrified shock, while Axel looked down the hall for any familiar faces in his apathetic boredom.

"Oh no… They've abandoned us! Oh, this is all my fault…" Naminé whimpered. Xion immediately jumped to her aid.

"It's not your fault, Naminé! Maybe they were just… protecting us from those noisy monsters?" the black kitten tried to comfort her sister, who said nothing and only stared at floor of the apartment complex's hallway in her growing sorrow. Axel snorted at the "touching" scene and turned his attention to his fuzzy little friends.

"Nah, they just let us out so we wouldn't be in the way while they cleaned. Didn't you guy's go outside in your old home?" Axel explained, and the depression that had drawn across the kittens quickly morphed into curiosity.

"Yes, but outside was completely different there… Why is there another inside outside of the inside?" Roxas questioned, causing Axel to grin real Cheshire cat grin at how adorably naïve they were.

"Geez, didn't you guys pay any attention when you were first brought here?" the red cat snorted, and Roxas fluffed up his fur defensively while his sisters merely looked shamefully guilty.

"… No. It feels like a long time ago, and we were all too scared to really pay attention…" Xion answered for them.

"You guys... Well, our home is like a little home inside one giant home," Axel tried to explain, but only got rather confused stares in return. "Well… it's like, right now we're inside one big home. There's a bunch of little homes, like ours, inside this big home. Each door you see leads to a different little home like the one we live in. Zexion and Demyx live in one of those homes on the floor above us, and Xigbar and Luxord live in the home next to us. Understand?" The kittens nodded in amazement, still looking slightly confused but seemingly impressed at Axel's vast knowledge of human workings.

"So then if all of these doors lead to homes like ours… Does that mean that there's humans living in every one of them?" Roxas asked, and Axel nodded his furry head in confirmation.

"Well, not every single one of them, but pretty much. Not ever home has a cat either. It seems kind of big now, but you'll get used to it," the reddish cat explained to them. The three nodded to themselves, and while Axel didn't say it out loud, he was pretty impressed on how quickly they learned. Even though he figured all cats were incredibly smart and talented (except Xigbar), the kittens weren't all that shabby.

"What did you mean when you said Zexion and Demyx live on the floor above us?" Naminé asked just as silence had barely fallen.

"Well…" Axel hummed, and took a moment to think how to properly explain it. "The big home all the little homes are in… we're going to call it the apartment complex, is kind of layered… You'll be able to understand better when you start climbing the stairs, and can jump up onto the windowsill, but the apartment complex is six of these layers, called floors, high. We're on the fifth floor, which is very high up so don't get any ideas, and Zexion and Demyx live on the sixth floor above us. You can use these things, stairs, to travel from floor to floor. I'm not sure if you three are big enough to climb them, but you can try if you want me to show you where they are," the adult cat told them.

"If you can climb them, I'd be able to climb them twice as better!" Roxas declared, and Xion and Naminé nodded their heads with eagerness for the challenge.

"Oh, Roxass…" Axel sighed dreamily. "If only you were that enthusiastic about letting me nail you…"

Narrowly missing having his nose clawed off and a short scamper down the hallway later, Axel stood in front of the stairway with the kittens following behind and eyeing the stairs with determination.

"So, they're up there, right?" Xion questioned. Axel gave his confirmation, and she fluffed up her fur in riled determination. "Alright! We can do this! Chaaaarge!" the black kitten mewled, and scrambled up the first step. Her two siblings mewed amateur battle cries along with her, and began to bound up the steps.

A clumsy run up the stairwell later, and the three kittens collapsed exhausted onto the carpeting of the sixth floor hallway. Axel followed after them easily, and plopped himself down next to his young housemates.

"Congratulations, you've managed to climb stairs! Not that it will be much use, considering your bodies are too pathetic to really master the stairs. A pity, since it also means your bodies are too weak to do 'that' as well…" Axel sighed, his voiced laced with sarcastic humor.

"'That'?" Roxas repeated with curiosity; not quite catching on and causing a catty grin to bloom on the older cat's face.

"Yes… 'that'. Shall I show you what 'that' is, Roxas?" Axel purred, and leaned towards the blonde kitten.

"Creep," Roxas grumbled, and turned himself away from the reddish cat. Axel sighed in disappointment, but didn't dwell on it and instead turned towards the two sisters.

"I'll show you where Zexion and Demyx live… so you'll know to avoid it," he told them, and stood back up. With a flick of his tail indicating for them to follow him, he began to pitter patter down the hallway. Naminé and Xion shared a single glance before bounding after him. While Roxas, having noticed something was off while he was busy brooding and being emo, turned around to notice his sisters and that bastard Axel leaving him behind.

"H-hey!" he mewed, and ran to catch up. His sisters looked amused at his delayed reaction, and Axel barely acknowledged the moody object of his creepy obsession had been left behind.

Just as Xion was sticking her tongue out at Roxas, who, in her defense, had stuck his tongue out at her first, and Axel was rattling on about a dog that used to live on that floor, one of the apartment doors suddenly swung open and a man with long blonde hair stumbled out.

"Damn thing! Get off my person this instant!" the man hissed at the pink cat apparently trying to make babies with his leg. Roxas, Naminé, and Xion shrunk back in surprise at the man's appearance and slight fear at his raised voice, and glanced around for some place to hide. Axel merely watched in calm amusement.

"LARXENE!" the man roared at the top of his lungs. "Larxene, get out here this instant, and get your god damn cat off my leg!" Another door not to far off opened itself, and a blonde woman with an annoyed look on her face stepped out from her apartment.

"Vexen, what the Hell do you want? It's Saturday! Shouldn't you be off harvesting the souls of innocent children instead of bothering me?" the woman bit out. Although Roxas could only understand so much of their dialogue, he still felt a shiver run up his spine from the strange woman's tone.

"Larxene, will you please control your animal?!" the blonde haired man snapped, pointing down at the pink cat purring loudly and humping his leg. Roxas felt more concerned on why the cat was pink. Maybe the color had leaked from his nose and onto his fur?

The woman looked down at where he was pointing, and her annoyed expression quickly changed to sadistically amused.

"So, Marly's taken a fancy to you, eh?" she crackled, and the man's face flushed red with embarrassment and anger.

"I don't care what your cat thinks of me! Just get him away from me! The damned animal followed me into my apartment and clung to my leg like some type of drugged up, flesh eating monkey!" the man hissed.

"Don't be such a baby, Vexen. Just kick him off," the woman snorted, and the man glared at her but obliged anyway. A few frantic shakes of his leg later, and the pink cat was dislodged and splayed out on the hallway's floor. The blonde man gave the woman and cat a withering glare before disappearing behind his door.

"Old prick," the woman scoffed, and glanced down to where Axel and the kittens were. "Heya, Axel. I heard from Demyx that you got some new company at your house, but I didn't think you'd be taking them out this early," she hummed, and knelt down to mess up Axel's fur. He spat in annoyance, and set to fixing it while she stood up and made her way back into her apartment. "You play nice with Marluxia now. If you get what I mean. Bow chika bow wow~!" the woman snickered as she shut her door.

Silence momentarily engulfed the hallway at the kitten's complete and utter disturbance.

"What just happened?" Xion asked after the short moment of silence.

"Eh, it's hard to explain. The stuffy guy was Vexen, and the bitchy babe was Larxene." Axel told them. His eyes flickered over to the pink cat, who had picked himself off the floor and was watching then with amusement. "And this…" Axel's voice dropped into a seductive tone, and he licked his lips teasingly, "is Marluxia."

"The pleasure's mine," the pink cat purred and strode over. "It's simply been too long, Axel… Are these the new kittens at your place I've been hearing about, or just some fun times you picked up off of the street?" Marluxia inquired; watching the three with disinterest from the corner of his eye.

"Ah, if only… They're the new kittens. This is Roxas, Naminé, and Xion," Axel introduced the three, and nodded his head towards each kitten as he said their name. "Don't get any ideas. Roxas is mine," he added on, much to Roxas' distaste and disgust.

"I wouldn't even consider it," Marluxia snorted. "I'm not into kittens, of all things. Besides… all I really need is you, Axel…" the pink cat purred in an overly sweet tone. Axel gave him a truly feline smile, and a promising look. Roxas pretended to throw up, while Naminé seemed fascinated with Marluxia.

"He looks like Kairi," Naminé stated. Marluxia scoffed, and gave the blonde kitten a slightly offended but mostly inquiring look. If Naminé was human, she would probably be blushing red in embarrassment, but since she was a cat, she merely ducked her head and sat on her tail.

"You're right… Kairi often puts on pink… what'd you call them, Axel? The human's removable fur?" Xion asked, and cocked her head to the side as she stared at Axel with big, curious eyes.

"Clothes," he told her; impatient at Marluxia's attention being stolen from him.

"Oh yeah! Kairi dresses in pink clothes a lot!" Xion chirped, and beamed cheerfully.

"How'd you get pink?" Roxas interrupted, ignoring his distrust for the cat in his childish curiosity.

"My human, Larxene, dyed my fur this color. Isn't it so much more beautiful than any other cat's fur? I'm not boring like you three, mind you," the snooty cat stated, and ran his tongue through his thick, silky fur.

"Well, you're a lot prettier than most cats even without being pink, Marly," Axel purred, and Roxas growled to himself at their stupid flirting.

"Was that a growl I heard?" Namine asked her brother with a devious glint in her eye, and Xion immediately caught on and joined in on giving their brother mischievous looks.

"No, it's just… that's our thing… and they're being so gross too…" Roxas grumbled, and felt the fur on the back of his neck bristle against his will when Marluxia rubbed up against Axel.

"But I thought you hated him," Xion remind her brother.

"I do! I hate that bastard! He's a sicko and a creep and I hope he dies!" the male kitten hissed defensively.

"Hope who dies?" a voice spoke up behind them, and the three kittens whirled around to see Xigbar peering out from behind a potted plant.

"Xigbar?" Namine questioned; surprised at the sudden appear of their neighbor.

"The one and only!" the gray tabby cat announced and stepped out from behind the potted plant. His grin faltered a bit at Roxas's suspicious glare, but he gave them an innocent cat-smile. "Uh… I didn't follow you from your home if that was what you were thinking… Nor have I been watching you the whole time," he claimed. Roxas gave him a disbelieving look, but let it slide.

"Have you met Marluxia yet, Xigbar?" Roxas asked the eye patch wearing cat; surprising himself with the venom he spat out Marluxia's name with.

"Uuuh… Can't say I have. Not formally at least. I've seen him around, but we haven't been introduced face to . It's not like I just know who he is just because I was hiding and watching you or anything. Which I wasn't," Xigbar answered. At the disbelieving looks they gave him, he added, "Really, I wasn't. I'm serious, guys."

"Riiiiight," Roxas deadpanned.

"I'm not stalking you or anything, Roxas! No, of course not! I love you. I mean, I want to screw you. I mean, you're adorable! No, wait! I mean, hey, babe, want to have a good time?!" the gray tabby cat practically shouted, and inched closer to Roxas.

"Um… okaaay…" the blonde kitten mumbled and backed away. He instinctively glanced over at Axel, but either the red cat hadn't noticed Xigbar harassing Roxas or was too caught up flirting with his fuckbuddy to care.

"Aw, what's with the face, fluffbutt? Don't you worry, Uncle Xigbar knows something that could cheer you up," Xigbar purred, and would be wiggling his eyebrows if he had some.

"Wha-No way!" Roxas spat, and dodged behind his sisters. He glanced over at Axel, and felt his lip curl up in a snarl. 'But that's our game… Not Marluxia's… ' a bitter voice grumbled in his head, but he ignored it and instead glanced back at Xigbar. As though someone switched a lightblub on in his usually empty head, he smiled forcefully and stepped out from behind his sisters. "Well… what type of things, Xigbar?" he meowed loudly. Xigbar looked surprised, but grinned at Roxas's sudden change of heart.

"Oh… wonderful things, Roxy… I'll show you a real wild time," the gray tabby meowed with a rusty purr, and it took everything in Roxas's willpower not to grimace.

"Really? How wonde-" the blonde kitten started to "innocently" ask, but was cut off by a defensive snarl.

"Eye Patch, get the hell away from Roxas!" Axel growled, and abandoned Marluxia to stomp over and give the gray tabby cat a death glare.

"Aw, don't be so greedy, firefur," Xigbar snorted good naturedly with a toothy grin.

"Roxas is too pure and adorable for you! I won't let your foul evil taint his innocent beauty!" Axel declared. Marluxia rolled his eyes, and Roxas fought to keep from coughing up his breakfast. 'Like you can talk…' the blonde kitten thought bitterly.

"Haha! Whatever you say, flamey. I ought to leave anyway, but I'll 'see' you later, Roxas. If you get what I mean," Xigbar told the blond kitten with more than enough suggestiveness.

"Uh… How about not?" Roxas grunted, and if he scooted any closer to his siblings, he'd be pressing up against them. Xigbar laughed, but said no more as he disappeared down the stairs and out of site.

Marluxia snorted in disinterest, and padded over to where Axel and the kittens were.

"Axel, did you really need to go out of your way to help him? He's so tiny and immature… Probably not worth it," the pink cat scoffed. Axel looked like he was going to say something; whether it being an apology to Marluxia or something to defend Roxas a mystery, but Naminé beat him to the chase.

"Don't talk about my brother like he's trash!" the little blonde kitten spat. The attention was immediately on her, and they all stared at the usually quiet kitten in surprise. Except for Marluxia who simply looked shocked that she had the nerve to talk back to him. "You're not anything special! In fact, I think you're rather annoying! And your fur color is ridiculous!" she snarled at the pink furred cat.

He gapped at her with wide eyes, but Naminé didn't even let a moment of silence linger before she whirled around and stalked down the hallway in a huff. Roxas and Xion barely spared a moment to glance at the insulted Marluxia before scurrying after her. Axel watched them leave, and sighed before turning his gaze towards his pink friend.

"I gotta go, Marly, but I'll catch you later," Axel promised, and didn't wait for an answer before following after the kittens.

Marluxia was left in the emptying hallway with an unreadable expression and eyes locked onto the spot where the seemingly bipolar Naminé stood only moments prior.

Author's Note: I really need to stop listening to emo music while writing these. It seriously kills the mood.

And while we're not on the topic, it's kind of weird how this story came to be. Originally I wanted to write something really fluffy and sweet with a young kitten Roxas, and an older cat Axel showing him the ways of the cat world. But it somehow ended up becoming some cracked up humor story where pretty much all of the characters are OOC. Which is strange since I'm not really a humor writer… Oh well, it's certainly a lot more interesting this way, so I don't mind.

ALSO, don't think that Roxas secretly has a crush on Axel or anything just because he was upset at being ignored. (That'd be too cliché and unfunny for even boring old me…) He's just kind of brat and a little attention whore who would rather have Axel perv on him any day than be ignored by him. I guess Roxas is kind of an ass in the game, and he's only a kitten in the story, so I thought I'd try to incorporate it into how I portray his character somewhat. …Pffft-Who am I kidding? I just like picking on Roxas 'cause I'm horrible.

Roxas and Axel will probably eventually learn to coexist and form some type of drugged up bond/relationship/friendship, but for the moment, Axel loves harassing Roxas and Roxas doesn't approve of pedo-ness.

Ah, and sorry this chapter wasn't as awesome as the last one, but I'll try to make up for it in future installments.