I had been about 2 years, and Alfred and Ivan were both eighteen.

Alfred sat in his room, sighing. Ivan smiled faintly.

"Frustrated?"

"Yes! I'm not just some little kid Arthur can push away like that! I'm going to be king!"

Ivan sat next to Alfred.

"I know. You don't have to explain it to me."

A smile flashed across Alfred's face.

"That's why I like to talk to you. You just understand."

"Well, I am your 'best friend'."

Alfred paused. "I guess you really have turned into that."

Ivan smiled and Alfred smiled back.

'And I hope more…' Alfred mused distantly. Ivan stood up to leave, feeling that he had been dismissed, but Alfred grabbed his wrist.

Ivan sat back down, confused as to what Alfred what Alfred wanted. Alfred sighed and suddenly pulled Ivan down into a quick kiss. Ivan froze, stunned.

Alfred soon pulled away, blushing in shame and looking down as his heart squeezed painfully.

"Sorry, I-I shouldn't have. I-"

Ivan gently covered Alfred's mouth,

"It never happened, Alfred," Ivan said quietly, sitting on the bed next to the prince. He removed his hand, and Alfred nodded, not looking up. Ivan smiled at Alfred and stood up.

"Am I allowed to leave?" Ivan asked.

"If you feel like it."

Ivan sat back down. "Will you be okay?"

Alfred hesitated. "Yeah, I'll be fine."

Ivan sighed lightly,

"Let's go get dinner," Ivan said quietly, standing up again and pulling Alfred up with him. Alfred allowed himself to be dragged off by the Russian.

---------

Ivan's voice was what woke Alfred the next morning, as it always did. Ivan was calmly telling the prince to get up, so they go get breakfast.

Alfred rolled over and groaned.

… Ivan was cupping his face in his hands, and…

"Get up, Alfred," Ivan said, pulling the covers off of him.

Alfred sighed and shivered, turning over and looking sleepily at his best friend. Could he not even have him in his dreams now?

He stretched and got up, purposely not looking at Ivan so not to recall his dream.

The morning light lit the palace brightly, sending patterns of blue, red, green and yellow across the marble floor and upon the quartz furniture.

Ivan watched the patterns and sighed. He had long become accustomed to the grandeur of the palace.

"Are you mad at me?" Ivan asked. Alfred sighed lightly and turned around. "Not, I'm not mad at you."

"Then why do you look upset?"

"Why do you think?" Alfred said harshly, but immediately regretted it. Ivan looked down at the colored patterns.

"I'm sorry."

Alfred sighed again. "It's not your fault, it's mine. Come on, let's go get breakfast."

Ivan nodded, and grabbed Alfred's hand when they left. Ivan let go of the prince's hand when they arrived in the dining room, however. Arthur was sitting at the head of the table, as usual. He looked tired, annoyed and his eyes were red as if he had been crying.

Prince Matthew was sitting on Arthur's left, fidgeting uncomfortably. Gilbert was leaning over and whispering in Matthew's ear.

Alfred sat down at Arthur's right, determinedly not looking at Matthew and Gilbert's almost intimate position. Ivan sat down, almost sighing. This seemed like this was going to be an unpleasant breakfast.

Ivan was surprised when a servant brought in the food instead of Francis. The food didn't taste quite like Francis' either. The King did not seem very hungry, nor did he eat much.

Alfred talked to Matthew, after Arthur had excused himself.

"Arthur and Francis got into a fight and Francis quit," Matthew replied, sighing.

Alfred sighed as well. "Do you think that he'll come back?"

"I don't know."

Alfred sighed again. "I'm going to walk in the garden, come on, Ivan."

Ivan nodded and followed Alfred out into the large, spiraling gardens. The eldest prince wandered around the maze.

"What?" he asked finally, "Why do Arthur and me have such bad luck with love?"

Ivan sighed, sure they were lost now.

"You do not have bad luck," Ivan replied, shaking his head.

Alfred stopped and turned around, furious.

"Oh, yeah?! Why do you think that?! I'm ireally/i in love for the first time in my whole life, and you don't love me-"

The prince was cut off by Ivan pushing him up against the side of the maze and kissing him fiercely.

"I do love you, Alfred, but it will never work!"

Alfred looked up at Ivan for a moment, stunned. He soon recovered, before asking, his tone pleading,

"Why not?"

"You're the crown prince, Alfred. You need to have children. You need a queen. And I can't be that."

Alfred sighed.

"I'll just make my cousin's children my heirs, Ivan," Alfred reached up and wrapped his arms around the Russia, "I love you, and want to be with you. Fuck, Ivan, I rather have you than a queen."

Ivan looked away.

"It's not good for your kingdom."

"It has nothing to do with my kingdom."

"You're going to be king. Everything you do is effects your kingdom."

"My kingdom won't even know. I just will never get married."

Ivan pulled away, shaking his head.

"We can't."