Okay, this time around, we are back to Bella's point of view! Thank God...it's VERY hard to capture Edward's thoughts and write them on paper to create an accurate expression. As always, thank you for reading these chapters, favoriting them, and most of all REVIEWING them. Seriously, guys, the feedback that you give is what keeps me going! Anyways, I hope you LOVE this chapter of Edward's P.S. I Love You. (BTW: More Letters are comin' soon! :D)

And sorry if I don't post again for awhile; FINALS ARE HERE. Ugghhhh!

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. I awoke with a start to the annoying rhythmical beeping of the ancient alarm clock by my head, and to the sound of the autumn wind pulsing against the window. I forced my eyes open to the dark room, and put my eyes on the alarm clock, beeping away by my side. I lifted my stubborn arm from my side, where it had been lazily laying for the last six hours, and slapped it down on the "Snooze" button of that dastardly creation. A few seconds later, to my relief, the beeping stopped, and my tense body relaxed. I eyed the numbers and figures on the alarm clock, trying to make sense out of them, and jumped up from my bed when I realized it was 10:30 in the morning.

"Shit, shit, shit!" I muttered to myself as I ran to my door, and opened it, looking for any sign of life. I heard the soft moan of the refrigerator and the sound of coffee being made. I looked down the hallway and noticed that Charlie and Sue must've been up because their bedroom door was open, and I could see their bed had been made. I quietly ran down the hallway on my tippy-toes and saw Charlie fully dressed, at the dining table, reading the newspaper. But there was something on his face...light signs of apprehension, perhaps. But I couldn't put my finger on why his mood was different this morning. I scanned his body for any other sign of clues and concluded that he was also nervous because of that rate of which he was tapping his left foot. But why was he feeling these emotions? I scanned my brain for information, and touched my forehead as if I believed that would help. At my hand's touch, my brain pulsed in pain. Damn, I would have a bruise. That was when the previous night's events came to me.

"Oh, oh...oh!" I exclaimed out loud to myself, forgetting that Charlie was only ten feet below me. At my words, Charlie looked up.

"Oh, hia' Bells!" At his sudden greeting I jumped.

"You okay up there?" Charlie asked, realizing that he had scared me. I brought my hand from my sore face and forced my eyes down onto my father.

"Yah, I'm great." And, only seconds later, I again brought my hand to my face to rub my bruised spot, believing that would make it better. Charlie peered up at me and a sign of recognition flashed across his face.

"How's that bruise of yours? Does it still hurt? Cause you hit your head pretty hard last night..." I peered down at him, hoping that my efforts to conceal my pain were working.

" Yah..yah!" I reassured him, a grin plastered onto my sore face. " I'm fine." Charlie smiled at my remark and asked another question.

" Remember that you're picking up Billy at two," Charlie said. My face went blank. And why was I picking up Billy again? I really must've hit my head hard. Charlie must've seen the look on my face and knew that I had totally forgotten.

"Bella, how hard did you hit your head?" Charlie asked with a chuckle. "Seriously. The wedding, today, at 3." Charlie gazed at me, his eyes layered with worry. I lifted my eyebrows in surprise.

"Oh, oh, oh!" I exclaimed out loud. How did I ever manage to let that slip my mind? "I guess I should be getting ready," I said outloud, mostly to myself.

" Umm...yah," Charlie said, answering my question. "Sue is already down at the beach, I decided to stay behind. With you, of course." I frowned at his words.

"Charlie, you don't need to be here for me, all the time. I'm an adult. You have your own life to live, I don't want mine to stop you from living yours," I said. Charlie also frowned at my words.

"I guess I don't know what to do with myself anymore," Charlie said, staring at the pictures of me spanning from baby to one taken previously on the wall.

"Well, you soon will," I replied back at him. "You have Sue waiting for you. You should be getting ready yourself, you can take a shower first, if you want." Yep, everything else had changed except the fact that this house still had one very small bathroom.

Charlie smiled and got out of his chair. He made his way up the stairs and I waited there for him.

"Oh Bells," he said, as I took him into my arms. This moment was awkward for us both because we never showed our emotions. I ransacked my brain for the last time I had hugged my father, and tears welled up in my eyes because I did not remember.

"Charlie, you'll be okay. You're a strong-willed man with a beautiful heart, you have all it takes to make this work." I forced my eyes down on Charlie and realized that he had gotten much shorter over the time when I was gone.

"Thanks, Bella," Charlie said into my shoulder. About a minute later, I released Charlie and spoke.

" Charlie, you get ready first. It's your day...and besides, I don't need to take a shower." At my words Charlie sheepishly smiled and made his way upstairs to the tiny bathroom we had some how managed to share for years. I then trudged my iron-like legs onto the stairs and forced them to carry me back to my lair.

That's when I forced my brain into plan-mode. What part of my room was I going to tackle first? The closet? The Vanity? Or maybe my luggage case? Regardless, I needed to find a dressy dress soon, before time ran out. And I couldn't wear what I wore at the rehearsal dinner, I had ruined that and its "taste" when I fell limp to the sandy ground. So, what was I left with? I scanned my room and came across a black trash bag lying limply in a secluded corner behind my desk near the window. My heart skipped a beat in excitement as I realized there must be some discarded pieces of clothing hidden in there, but my heart stopped completely, all together, a second later, when I suddenly remembered what the contents of this trash bag were.

I let my mind wander back to my 18th birthday, and this time, I let the pain find me. I couldn't hide from it forever...and in those sad, sad memories that had ended up shaping my shit of a life, there came a memory that for some reason was innocently beautiful, because of all the pain that it had once had transformed itself to be. It was September 13th, my 27th birthday, and Charlie's wedding. It was hard to comprehend how much beauty was laden in this day, but even more disturbing to uncover the events that were layered nine years deep under its beautiful surface...this day was beautiful, in some crazy, erractic, unexplainable, and impossible way.

And because of today's date and the realization, I walked over to the trashbag and gently pulled the drawstrings open. I guess I should've expected to know what had inhabited that bag for years, but I my heart still thumped with surprise as if it completely forgot what had first caused it so much pain.

For a moment, I didn't know what to do, or even what to think. All I was comprehending at that moment was that I was standing stock still in the middle of my room like one of those characters in cartoons that had just been electrocuted. At this moment my mind was a clean slate, wiped white by the surprise of seeing it. Surprise at seeing those things that had once shaped my beautiful life. But the memories and love that they once held were all gone now. All that was remaining in their place was the ever rising feeling of sorrow, and the soreness that was arising in my gut.

If I hadn't been in total shock I would have fallen to the ground at the wave of memories that knocked me bare once I opened that bag and recognized each of the items that it held. The saddest part of it was that I had forgotten some of those items and the memories that they represented. That hurt the most...

I don't know when I awoke from the shock, but I figured that it had lasted awhile because a minute later Charlie was at my door. I looked into his eyes and he looked back, and I knew, I knew that he understood. Charlie turned his back to me and walked down the stairs, worry clearly reflected in his stance. I silently thanked the God that I knew wasn't up there and forced my eyes back onto the bag. Some how, I managed to muster up the great courage to reach my hand into that bag and pour out its contents. I decided to do it all once, and let all of the memories take me collectively. I wasn't sure if I would survive the onslaught of living the past each object at a time.

So, for that reason, I quickly grabbed the bag and its contents shifted at my touch. I suddenly got goosebumps,and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, as if I had just seen a ghost. I focused my eyes on the bag and decided to get the torture over with. With a slick, graceful move, that I really had no capability of achieving, I flipped the bag upside down and its contents came spiraling to the ground. They settled into a medium sized heap. When they all settled, I reach my hands to touch them, but it took me much longer then it should have because my hands were shaking, as if I was having a seizure. Some how, later I counted it as God's grace, my hands found the radio that I had carelessly torn out from my truck so long ago. At the touch, electricity rocked through my body and stunned my mind into nothing. It was as if his scent was there...as if they were still there...as if he had never left at all. I could still smell him...that beautiful, innocent scent of him that once drove me crazy. It wafted through my nostrils and through each empty chamber of my body, feeling each one with his love. I closed my eyes and smiled. I imagined that Esme and Alice were standing right next to me, each of their arms nestled against my neck, inviting me into their embraces. I imagined Emmett and Jasper in the corner, joking with each other, and mostly I thought of Emmett's loud, billowing laugh. I imaged Carlisle, and his fatherly gaze, that always brought with it the feeling eternal love and security. And lastly, I thought of him. That he was standing across where I was sitting on the ground. That he was staring deeply into my oh, so very tired eyes. That he was explaining everything that I had ever questioned and killing everything that had ever torn me apart. I imagined that he smiled at me...that his lips went in that beautiful smile that truly reached his eyes, that made my little, human heart shutter a million times a second.

As he smiled, I fell apart and my head hit the ground. Through my peripheral vision I could see Edward slowly walk over to me, no hesitancy in his gait. Oh, and when he reached over to me, ever so slowly, light exploded behind my closed eye lids. And when he reached his hand over to my back, and touched me, truly touched me, tears spilled out of my eyes and water leaked from the internal chambers of my weary soul. He was here.

Edward put his hands under my arm pits the same way a teacher would position her hands to lift a child up. He raised me up, he raised me up, and that was it for me. I tried to look into his face as he was lifting me up, but he avoided eye contact. There was something, something painful underlying the surface of his beautiful eyes. And because of that, my heart exploded with joy and with sorrow at the exact same time.

When Edward stood me up, and he was certain that I could stand on my own, he let me go. I reached out to him, ever so vehemently, never wanting to let go. He looked at me then, shook his head, and sheepishly smiled. I wanted to cry, scream, and yell in pain at that moment. I could not let him go. I could not let him go! I could not let him go...

I watched through my film of tears Edward go into the corner of my closet and pick up a red dress that appeared to have never been touch, even in despite of where it had just came from. I wanted to run to him, to touch him, to kiss him, to grab onto him and to never let go, but my heart would not let my feet move. I yelled at my heart, urging it to let me go...but it reacted with as much force as I was acting upon it. "NO! NO! NO! Do you not understand?" my heart screamed at me. I yelled back with as much force..." LET ME GO! PLEASE...LET ME GO!" But it was not my own voice that said these words...it was a voice so much more beautiful than mine...a symphony of a voice, intertwining love and hate at the same time, somehow making them coexist.

It was Edward's.

At that moment, I could do nothing but shut up and listen to my heart, wanting for Edward's voice to continue...and my vehement pleading for his voice to return paid off...

"BELLA. LET ME GO." I looked at the room and forced my eyes on Edward...his mouth was not moving, but his eyes showed me that he was the speaker of those words. Edward's eyes continued, pleading. Pleading for something. Pleading for understanding.

"No! NO! NOOOO!" I yelled out at the top of my lungs, as if I believed that they would erase everything that Edward had just said. I was beginning to question if Edward was really there and if this conversation was really a pigment of my highly active imagination.

I looked at Edward, waiting for an answer, but all I got was a sad glance, a sorrowful glance from his eyes. Before he could respond to my yelling, I felt myself gradually falling, falling, falling oh so quickly back to reality...before everything went black, before he disappeared, I heard the whisper of the autumn wind outside the window and saw those eyes. Those beautiful, deep topaz eyes...and, oh certainly did they whisper the truth.

The hill shrill of Canon's theme song wafted in my ears filling me with the unfamiliar feeling of security. This new feeling lifted me up from the depths of darkness and opened my heavy eye lids and forced my eyes onto the bright world. I scanned my surroundings and my conscience told me that I was supposed to be paying attention. But I probed for a reason...it was so hard to distinguish anything from the darkness I was just basking in. But my father's words as he said "I do," woke me from this white state of unconsciousness. At his words I jerked up and my eyes searched for the speaker of these words.

Charlie was about five yards in front of me with Sue by his side. The preacher was in between them, to the front. They were under an arch of gardenias, my favorite kind of flower. And their eyes...they showed me everything that I had missed. This was Charlie's wedding...and I was some how, uncomprehendingly, sleeping through it. What the hell was wrong with me?

I fixed my eyes on the couple, hoping that no one had noticed my dozing. But my attempts were short lived because a few seconds later I cold feel the heat of a pair of eyes staring intensely on my face. I didn't want to lose my enthrallment with Charlie and Sue, but the intense heat from those pair of eyes were consuming all of my thoughts any way. So, I slowly turned my head to my right side, and found nothing. Then, hesitatingly, I crooked my head to my left and the bearer of those eyes quickly turned his head away in response. When I fixed my eyes on him, studied him, and discovered the tone of his skin, the shape of his nose, and the rise of his brow was the exact same as the one who had made me die a second time, I lost my breath.

Started to sweat, I fixed my eyes back on Charlie and Sue just in time to see them kiss for the first time as husband and wife. I wanted to smile, but it was impossible knowing that he was staring at me again. In order to just make it thought the onslaught of fear that stroke me when my thoughts kept wandering back to him, I fixed my eyes on the happy and elated expressions of my father and new mother. My father's newfound happiness and transformation kept me grounded until the reception.

As I watched my father gingerly take Sue's hand and place it in his as he escorted her to the dance floor the first dance, a dull, sorrow, pain, radiated through my chest, making all of my nerves stand as if they had just been electrocuted with a live wire. Sadness because it had taken him so, so long, and required of him to go through so much for the reward of finding love again. As I watched Charlie and Sue twirl around the room, only gravity keeping them from floating up into the air and disappearing with the arrival of the dawn, I found myself glowing with a outstanding sense of contentment. I was not completely with peace at Forks, and it was a far cry from becoming my ally, but right now, I couldn't help but thank myself for coming back to this place and experiencing love again, even if it wasn't mine to receive. And, on that note, when I felt completely convinced that it was now my time to leave, I dodged any sight of him, and disappeared from the wedding and into the cold, autumn night.

As I was trailing through the forest, looking for some place where I could puke up my guts and recover from the pints of alcohol I had just poured into my body, inconsequently, I ran into him. The monlight reflected off his bronze skin casting rays of sunshine on to the surrounding shrubs. The glimmer of light was what caught my eye, and my focus followed. Before he could escape, I saw him.

I wanted to get up and run away, but I was so intoxicated that I wasn't even sure if Jacob was really there.

"Who's there," I sluggishly said out loud, my "s's" sounding more like "d's." At my words Jacob jumped from his hiding spot, showing himself into my view.

"What the hell ya' doing here..." I yelled out to him, my voice louder than required. When I didn't get an answer I got madder.

" Show your fuckin' face ya' bastard! Ya' can't have any of dis!" I bellowed to him. When he didn't respond, I stood up, almost falling to the muddy ground, and searched for him myself. I knew when I found him when the thing I tripped over yelled out in pain in response.

"Ow, ow! Bella! Damn you!" Jacob said, finally showing his face. "How much did you drink?"

I pondered over that thought and blushed when I found no answer. "Not alllottttttt..." I threw back at him, flushing red when I realized I really did sound drunk.

"What are you doing out here all alone? It's the middle of the night, for God sakes. There could be things around here..." I refused to accept the irony of Jacob's declaration. I didn't even answer his question, but instead threw one at him.

"Why ya stalking me? I got noding to giv ya!" I laughed out loud, for no apparent reason. At those words Jacob came closer to me and anger raced through my veins.

"Don't get any closer to me ya asshole! You knocked up that dirty bitch! Don't lay any of your dirty baby making hands on me!" Tears streamed out of my eyes when my inner self discovered the meaning of these words, and shunned the outer self for saying them out loud. At my words Jacob was not physically hurt, but when I stared into his eyes I knew that he took it as an internal blow to the gut.

Still Jacob came closer, and I gave up. I let him pick me up and lead me back to my car, which was parked only a few seconds away from the door to the reception. He still didn't realize why I had so recklessly wandered into the forest. But, I think he had any idea.

All I was conscious of was that he was carrying to me my car. He then gently reached his hand into my purse and probed for the keys. When he found them, he unlocked my car and put me in the front passenger seat, and he settled down into the driver's. And he started the car, and drove me home.

As we passed the walls and walls of green, even my drunken mind made sense of one thing. The internal drawing that I had to the forest only a few minutes ago was because of one thing: Edward.

Was the meadow, the carrier of all of the love I had ever felt, still there? And for that reason I tear streamed down my face, because I already knew the answer to that question.