A/N So I may have been persuaded to attempt a collection of Criminal Minds oneshots, which is bizarre, 'cause I don't really find writing these guys that easy...anyway, are you guys familiar with 'The Twelve Pains Of Christmas' by Bob Rivers? These twelve oneshots will all be relating the different parts of the song. Loosely. They'll most likely all be JJ/Hotch in some way (if you don't like, don't read) with maybe the occasional Prentiss/Morgan and Prentiss/Rossi thrown in for good measure. Also, unless stated at the beginning, none of the chapters are related. I hope you guys enjoy! :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds.
Chapter 1: Finding A Christmas Tree
It was late afternoon when Hotch walked into the bullpen and stopped suddenly.
Frowning, he changed direction, heading towards JJ's office. He knocked on the door.
"JJ?"
She looked up, sparing him a fleeting smile. "Hey. What's up?"
"This is going to sound like a strange question, but...?"
"Why is there a Christmas tree in our bullpen?" she interrupted with a laugh, "Take it up with Garcia."
Hotch sighed, "Why am I not surprised?"
"She wants us all to bring in a decoration. I think it's a nice idea," JJ said quietly.
"You do?"
"With what we do, what we see...I just think it makes a change."
Hotch watched as she stood up and went to the filing cabinet, effortless and full of grace.
"JJ."
She turned from the filing cabinet at the sound of his voice.
"Yes?"
Hotch moved to stand in front of her, swallowing nervously. "Will I see you this weekend?" he asked, "You and Henry?"
She nodded, smiling up at him. "Only me. Henry's with Will this weekend. I mean, if you want to. Unless you have other plans..."
"No!" Hotch said hastily, "No other plans."
Her smile widened. "Okay...you better go. People might start to get suspicious."
Hotch was halfway out of the door before his mind caught up with his mouth. "JJ, wait..."
She turned again and then his lips were touching hers in a gentle kiss. She blinked in surprise, before letting her eyelids flutter closed and raising a hand to the back of his head.
After a moment, Hotch broke away slowly, smiling when her eyes remained shut.
"Aaron," JJ murmured in amusement, "I think that's an abuse of power."
He chuckled, dipping his head for another kiss, but there was a sudden voice from outside her office.
"Agent Jareau?"
She shot to the far side of her desk, as far away from Hotch as possible, and unnecessarily straightened her shirt.
"Come in," she called, sparing a hasty glance towards the agent glaring at the door. A young man stepped into her office, a nervous frown creasing his brow.
"Uh, I have a, uh...message, for Agent Hotchner...from, uh... Chief Strauss."
JJ fought a smile as Hotch groaned. "Thank you," she said as the two men left her alone.
As silence filled her office, the media liaison raised a thoughtful finger to her lips, smiling softly.
JJ frowned as her cell phone vibrated against her hip. Seeing the waiting message, a smile spread from her lips, a blush creeping onto her cheeks.
JJ;
I think we should get together to discuss the blatant misuse of your office.
Come over tonight.
Merry Christmas.
Aaron
Typing a quick reply, JJ headed out of her office and down the steps towards Morgan and Reid.
"What are you doing?"
Reid turned to her in relief. "Morgan's harassing me about my Christmas tree decorations," he protested.
JJ arched an eyebrow. "What about your tree decorations?"
Morgan gestured to the tree behind him. "I don't know what the hell it's supposed to be!"
"What's what supposed to be?" Emily asked, pinching her boyfriend's side.
JJ waved a hand at the tree. "Reid's decoration."
"It's an icicle," Emily said.
Reid sighed. "No, it's not. It's a strand of isolated DNA, made of glass. Observe the double helix structure."
Morgan rolled his eyes. "You couldn't find a normal decoration like mine?"
Emily laughed. "You got yours for fifty cents at the Christkindlmarket in Chicago," she pointed out.
Morgan narrowed his eyes in her direction. "Baby, whose side are you on?" he asked in mock hurt.
She wrinkled her nose at him in return, before reaching into her pocket.
Reid craned his head to see what Emily had in her hand, his brow furrowed in a curious frown. "Your decoration?"
Holding the decoration up, Emily shrugged casually, feigning indifference. "It's nothing. Just something I found lying around."
Morgan nudged her with his elbow, watching her hang it on the tree. "Come on, Em. What is that?"
She sighed heavily, although the spark lighting up her eyes let him know how much she appreciated his asking. "It's Egyptian. They call it an 'ankh' – it's the sign for life."
"Actually," Reid said excitedly, "It's the sign for eternal life. Egyptian gods and goddesses used to carry them, and the symbol itself is often seen in conjuncture with two other hieroglyphs, djed and was, both of which are believed to be..."
JJ touched his arm, biting her lip. "Reid."
He blushed, immediately closing his mouth. "Sorry."
"JJ, have you seen Hotch?" Rossi asked, appearing from the break room with a mug of coffee in his hand. She turned towards him.
"Strauss," she said simply. There was a collective wince.
"How did Hotch look?" Morgan asked, making it sound as if their boss had been sent to his death.
"Like he was going to see Strauss," JJ said with a shrug, "Pissed and a little scared."
Smirking, Rossi hung his decoration on the tree. Falling silent, JJ brushed her finger over it gently, her eyes wide in admiration.
"What is this?" she asked softly. He chuckled.
"Glass. Made in Murano, Venice. World famous."
JJ's blue eyes flicked to his, a smile breaking across her face. "It's beautiful."
Rossi nodded. "It is," he agreed, before bending his head close, "And I'm sure Aaron would appreciate your good taste. If he doesn't already know."
JJ heard her breath catch and she hastily looked towards Morgan, Reid, and Prentiss, letting the air out when she noted their attention was still elsewhere. She shot Rossi an annoyed glare, tugging him away from the group.
"Okay, I don't know how much you know or how much you want to know, but if anyone finds out about Hotch and I, I will make sure Aaron beats the crap out of you and then I will personally kick your ass." Rossi chuckled at her conviction-filled hiss, smirking.
Emily looked over her shoulder, frowning at the scowl creasing JJ's brow. "What's up, Jayje?"
The blonde smiled sweetly, stepping away and folding her arms. "Nothing."
Escaping from Strauss as soon as he could, Hotch glared down at the pile of folders in his arm – the woman didn't seem to understand about taking it easy during the approach to Christmas.
Heading to hand a request to Garcia, Hotch felt a soft smile curve the corner of his lips as a familiar laugh reached his ears. Hearing JJ somewhere in the bullpen behind him, he sped up.
"Garcia, I need you," he said as he tapped on her door.
Garcia spun around, a broad grin splitting her face. "Come in, Oh Esteemed Leader. Welcome to my lair."
Hotch fought back a chuckle at her enthusiasm, handing her a file. "Strauss needs background reports on these people."
"I'll get right on it, sir. By the way..."
He stifled a sigh – he had almost escaped without being harassed. Reluctantly turning around, Hotch raised his eyebrows in question.
Garcia grinned knowingly. "What are you getting JJ for Christmas?"
"Why would I be getting JJ a Christmas present, Garcia?" Hotch said, attempting ignorance and not quite managing to pull it off.
"Oh, I don't know," she replied brightly, "How about because you and my baby girl have been bumping uglies for the past...two months?"
There was a moment of uncomfortable silence.
"You know about...you know?" Hotch asked uncertainly. The predatory gleam in her eye was enough to make shivers run down his spine.
"I'm like the Eye of Sauron. I know everything."
"Why doesn't that surprise me?" he replied, rolling his eyes and turning away. Her voice made him pause just in the doorway, glancing back over his shoulder in surprise.
"She's happy, you know."
Hotch studied her for a moment, before nodding. Garcia smiled, gesturing to the new file, "I'll get these done for you straight away."
"Thank you."
Hotch all but ran in the direction of JJ's voice. His breath caught in his throat as he slowed to a less frantic walk, realizing how pathetic he must look, and moved closer.
"Hey, Jayje, where's your decoration?" Morgan asked, leaning back in his chair. She shrugged.
"I haven't got anything."
"You don't have any tree decorations?" Emily questioned doubtfully. Even she had Christmas decorations.
"Of course I have tree decorations," JJ protested defensively, "but nothing special enough for this tree."
Hotch had so far kept silent, but something on the tree tag caught his eye, and he released a soft chuckle.
"I think I can help you out," he said, alerting them to his return and handing the tag to her. Smiling curiously, the blonde agent took it from him, her eyes brightening as she read it.
"Ha! Read it and weep!" she exclaimed triumphantly, waving it under Emily's nose, "The tree's from East Allegheny."
Prentiss snatched the label, her eyes narrowing.
"What the...no fair!"
JJ laughed, shooting Hotch a victorious grin.
"Uh-oh," Morgan said in a low voice. JJ frowned.
"What?"
Emily followed his pointing finger. "Oh, man... We don't have a star."
"A what?"
"A star. For the top of the tree?"
Morgan gasped suddenly, disappearing towards Garcia's office. He reappeared in less time than they thought possible and handed something to Reid.
"Go ahead, wonder boy. Finish the tree."
The two other women chuckled as Reid completed their arrangement. Moving around the tree, Hotch came to a stop behind JJ, his hand surreptitiously caressing the small of her back. "Well, that's...original," he said with a slight laugh.
JJ looked up at him. "It's not our fault."
Emily smirked, feeling Derek wrapping his arms around her shoulders. "Yeah, how many other trees have a plastic starfish at the top?"
A/N Meh. I hope you guys liked it! If you get a chance, please leave a quick review! I'd love to know what you think, and whether or not I should continue.