A YOUNG FLEDGLING'S BLACKBOARD SAYINGS--PART 2

By Jessica Hamby

The torture wheel in Fangtasia's basement is not a toy.

I will not destroy Bill's house when LSU loses to Ole Miss.

My high school is not my own private buffet.

I will not call local priests and claim to be "Ever Virgin".

Toddlers are not popcorn.

I will NOT enjoy it if Eric has to spank me.

I will not hide silver spoons in Bill's lair.

Fangbangers are not my "personal staff".

My bite will not cause humans to win the lottery.

I did not drain Edward Cullen.

I will not call Sophie-Anne and ask "Where's Waldo?" then laugh hysterically and hang up.

I will not call Sophie-Anne for any reason whatsoever.

People who borrow Pam's Prada bags without asking will be bound in silver chains and forced to spend eternity at Wal-Mart.

There are no "fang condoms".

I will not send non-alcoholic wine to Maryann.

I will not ask Jason Stackhouse the difference between his ass and his elbow.

Hemoglobin is not a band.

These lists are lot a stupid waste of time