"Now you listen HERE, crazy! I said no, and that's that!"

"You didn't even pretend to consider it! You can't just say no without thinking about it, just give it a chance!"

"Absolutely NOT! Why the DEVIL would I ever even WANT to consider that?!"

"It's just one night, Hatter! It won't hurt to spend just one night with my mother's family when they come to visit!"

"If they're anything like your mother, sweetheart, it'll hurt more than you can possibly IMAGINE! NO!"

Alice huffed, blowing hair out of her face and looking her half-crazed tea-loving live-in boyfriend in the eye. He was being stubborn (well...more stubborn than usual) and she couldn't for the life of her figure out why. He never really denied her anything and it was strange for him to turn down this request so vehemently.

"What's going on, Hatter? And don't give me that look," she hurried out, spying his "cover-up-what-I'm-really-feeling" face coming to the surface. "I know you better than to think you're in your normal, twisted state of mind. This is a whole new brand of crazy. Explain."

Hatter sighed, giving her his very best stink eye. This is what he gets for going and falling in love with "Alice of Legend." No chance of lying convincingly.

"You think I want to face all those people, your mother's people, as the owner of a ratty little tea shop and the man living in sin with their precious little Alice? I have enough trouble with normal Earth people, what am I supposed to do with YOUR family?"

He turned away, flopping onto their small couch and yanking the brim of his hat down over his eyes. He wasn't one to openly admit his weaknesses, and he still didn't quite like letting his defenses down. Even to Alice.

Who, in the meantime, stood in shock, her mouth hanging slightly open. He was afraid? He was ashamed? Wait...living in sin? Oh, God. Ohhh, God.

"You...do you want to get married?" she forced out, voice rising to a squeak at the end.

Hatter's head snapped up, his eyes terrified. "NO! God, no! Unless...do you want to get married?"

Alice stared at him in shock. "Of course not! Just...just...no, I...no!"

Silence filled the room for several moments, until his tentative voice broke through. "Because...I mean, we could...if you wanted to, that is...if it's important to you." He was staring at the floor, tense and waiting.

Finally realizing the true issue at hand, Alice took a seat next to him, tucking one leg underneath her body and taking one of his hands in hers, waiting until he looked at her. "Hatter, let me make one thing clear. Under no circumstances would I ever want to get married. Ever. I don't think the concept of marriage even has any room for a situation like ours. I love you, and I have no intention of living my life without you, but...can you really see us getting married? Me, in some hideous white dress and you, with your hair actually combed for once? Marriage almost seems ridiculous when you think about what we've been through. I don't care what my family thinks about us, because the fact that there is an 'us' means more to me than any stupid ceremony or flimsy piece of paper ever could."

Hatter listened to her speech, relief flooding him more and more with each word. They had never actually spoken of marriage, but from what he had seen and heard, it was a rather pointless institution and not something he was eager to participate in. He had been afraid to bring it up with her in case she liked the idea, and hearing these words (oh what beautiful words!) fall from her lips was like falling in love with her all over again. He smiled, yanking her into his lap and holding her tightly as she laughed.

"You, my dear Alice...are quite possibly the most amazing creature to have ever existed, on Earth or in Wonderland. I really am one lucky bastard, eh?"

She smiled, head tucked under his chin, and sat contentedly for a few minutes before breaking the silence.

"So...does this mean you'll meet my family?"

"Eh. What the hell. Can't be worse than meeting a Jabberwock."

"Ha! Says you. You've never met Aunt Astrid."