Hi everyone, thanks so much for letting me know what you thought! I'm trying to sent you back a message but I'm not ready with that yet. This is the one last chapter... I promise

haha Hope you like!

Next morning

Gillian opened her eyes slowly. She needed to get adjusted to the morning light in her room. She took in her room slowly as her eyes flashed back at the chair next to her bed. Cal was sitting in it, staring at her. He seemed to be wide awake.

'Cal?' Gillian asked shocked as she blinked some more to be sure she wasn't hallucinating.

She propped herself up on her elbows to look at him more clearly.

'Morning luv.' He said.

'What are you doing here?' She asked surprised.

Cal shrugged as he let himself drop back in the chair casually. 'I got a problem. And I would usually drink until the bottle was empty but then I would be in no good mood the next day and I tried not to go to the casino or put myself in any danger and you know the funny thing..' He said as he bended forward and rested his underarms on his knees as he looked at her. 'The only other option for me was to come here. So..' He shrugged again as if that was a normal explanation as he leaned his back against the chair casually again.

'You're in my bedroom..' Gillian said baffled.

Cal looked around the room as if it was the first time he saw it, then looked back at her with big eyes and shrugged. 'I tried to couch downstairs but that wasn't so comfy as this chair.' Not to mention the view he had had all night long.

Gillian looked down her chest to make sure that she was properly dressed. 'How long have you been here?' She asked as she looked back at him with a pair of wide blue sleepy eyes.

'Let's say about…' Cal looked at his watch. 'Dunno. Pretty long time though.' He leaned back again. 'Oy.' He said as he leaned forward. 'You do know that you snore sometimes yeah? Anyone ever tell you that? Cuz that's a surprise to me really.' He shrugged casually. 'But it's a soft snore though.' Cal said as he made a small gesture with his fingers to reassure her. 'Very female-like.'

Gillian pulled her blanket further towards her chest and looked at him with a horrified look in her eyes.

'The blue's a pretty good look on you you know.' Cal said as he pointed at the blue spot on her jaw.

'Cal..' Gillian began. She didn't know what to think of this. She wasn't fully awake yet. She couldn't think yet...

'Matches you're eyes an' all.'

Gillian put the blanket around her and made her way over to the other side of the bed to stand up.

'You can't just sit in my bedroom and watch me sleep and-'

'-Why not?' Cal asked as he stood up.

To her own surprise she wanted to say-

'That's over the line yeah?' He filled in for her with a smirk as he read her like an open book.

Her mouth fell open at that.

'Cuz we didn't go over the line before.' Cal said in a mild sarcastic tone as he gestured between them.

Gillian still sat baffled with her mouth open. Baffled because she had thought about 'the line' after everything that had happened, maybe it was some sort of protective mechanism she had began to use, and baffled because he read it off her before she herself could fathom what she was thinking really.

'We were having sex, I broke it off.' Cal told her. 'No, let me rephrase that...' He put a finger up in the air. 'We were going to make love and I was such a stupid ass to break it off.'

She looked away and her neck began to colour red.

'I chickened out I did.' He said as he stood up and put his hands deep in his jeans pockets.

Gillian pulled the blanket even closer and he noticed how her cheeks began to redden even further now if that was even possible.

'I had my reasons.' Cal said as he walked around the bed towards the other side. 'Reasons you're probably well aware of already with you being the shrink here and all. And a good one too. I think you know more then you pretend too.' He tilted his head to one side as he stopped in front of the side of the bed. 'I even think I underestimate you from time to time.'

She suddenly looked at him with a powerful glance in her blue eyes. 'Yes you do.'

He almost took a step back but he forced himself to keep standing. Cal stared at his feet.

'It always comes down to the same thing yeah?' He said as he sat on the bed and looked at her

'I need my space Cal.' Gillian said as she looked at him.

Cal looked down at the small space between them. He sighed softly and felt sad.

'If that's what you want.' He said as he took a small step back without looking at her.

Cal looked up at her with so much sorrow in his eyes that it touched her heart deeply. 'I really messed up this time didn't I?'

She looked at him and then closed her eyes as she sighed deep. Yes you did.

He could read it in her eyes immediately.

'You hurt me deeply.' Gillian said softly.

Cal nodded as he took a big step back.

'Can't you see what you are doing all the time?' Gillian asked as she shook her head. Maybe she couldn't think he would or could ever change that.

'Yeah, I can see that now.' Cal answered. He had thought about it all night long, if not longer. Sometimes he didn't understand himself, or maybe all the time he didn't understand himself. How could he understand her if he couldn't understand his own feelings and actins? She was the expert on that terrain.

Cal stared at her fluffy slippers that were lying partly under the bed. 'It's confusing. I'm afraid to hurt you and I do it anyway.' He looked up at her. 'Got some theory about that one in your shrink books?' Cal asked as he looked at her with a miserable look.

Gillian shook her head again in defeat and then smirked. 'Yes I do.' She looked at the ground. She should cut him some slack.

'Is there a cure for it?'

She heard him ask in a vulnerable tone. 'Yes. You just have to face your fears.' Gillian said as she looked up at him and began to let go of her blanket. She stood up and looked on her nightstand for her watch.

'Just?' Cal asked as she heard him step closer. 'So I just have to face that I hurt you while I don't want that?'

She nodded slightly as she faced him. That didn't sound very right…

'Do you still want me?' Cal asked as he was standing in her space and tried to read her. He felt utterly vulnerable right now. As if she could break him into little pieces with one look, one micro expression, that one word, that one answer..

She looked away intentionally.

'-Cal..' She began as she tried to pass him but he grabbed her wrist.

'You do.' He said surprised as he read her.

Her breathing hitched. 'You want me.' He repeated as if he didn't believe it. 'You still do.' He whispered, more to himself. Hope filled his heart.

'I want…' She began. 'A shower now.' She deflected.

'Sure.' Cal said as he didn't free her wrist from his grip. 'You'll have a very nice shower, I'll even move out of your way if you'll just tell me what to do.'

Gillian looked at him. 'The moving away so I could have my shower sounds like a really good plan.' She stated in a hard tone.

He let go of her wrist as he raised an eyebrow at her. 'And after you had your shower?' He inquired.

She sighed. 'Cal, a lot has happened yesterday. I need to think, I need space.' She sighed.

He looked at her and nodded. Fear gripped his heart as he took a few steps back. Maybe she'd think about it being better that he wasn't around for her anymore.

Gillian sighed. 'I still care about you very much, but I don't know..' She inhaled a shaky breath. 'If we are meant to be together. If we only hurt each other..' She said as she gave him a wearily look.

Cal closed his mouth, he hadn't even noticed that it had slipped open and then nodded. He put his hands back in his pockets again. He nodded again. 'You just let me know yeah, when you're ready to talk or anything 'bout that. Yeah?'

'Yes.' Gillian said in a warm tone as she nodded softly at him.

He turned around and left her room. He made his way down the stairs as thoughts of flooded through his brain. Telling him how he could ever have thought that he was good enough for her. This was for the best. He swallowed. He wished that she didn't have to go trough last night. She'd been hurt again.

'Cal.' Her voice came from the top of the stairs. He had just reached the ground as he turned around to look at her.

'Don't do that.'

He opened his mouth to ask what she meant, but it wasn't necessary. He swallowed because he realised how well she knew him. How she could look right through him, how she had always been there, even now, even now that she needed space herself, even when he had hurt her. She was always there for him.

He looked away shortly as he tried to control all the feelings and thoughts that shot through him.

'What?' He asked after a short pause.

She leaned herself on one leg tiredly.

'Stop the thing you are going to do in your head. This wasn't your fault.'

He swallowed again, his throat was so dry.

'You aren't responsible for me. I'm a grown woman Cal.'

Yeah, he knew about that. He was very aware of how much woman she was.

'Yeah you're right about that one.' He said as he nodded. 'Good day luv.' He turned around and made his way towards the door.

'That's what made you run in the first place right, you said so moments ago.' He stopped in his tracks as he heard her take one step down the stairs.

'Will you always run?' He couldn't move. It was like he had frozen to the ground.

'I have to know Cal. Will it always be like this or will you…' Her breathing hitched, he could here the emotions in her voice.

'Will you try to…' Could she ask him this? 'Change that part?' She swallowed. Could she ask him to change? For her? For anyone? 'Or maybe… If you'd talk to me about it I-'

Cal turned around in one swift move and faced her. 'I did remember correctly that you said something about discussing this another time.' He deflected.

'Yes.' She nodded. 'I said tomorrow, but now we're at it anyway.' She studied his face.

'I'm tired too you know. Reynolds dragged me away from your door, he's a strong man he is.' He deflected again.

Cal sighed wearily as he turned around and walked towards the door. Her heart filled with regret, sorrow and fear and an immense loneliness but to her surprise he flopped himself down on the ground and leaned his back to the door as he looked up at her again. She swallowed as she sat herself down too on the stairs. She straightened her nightdress.

She didn't say anything. They were both silent. It was a heavy silence and he knew that she was waiting for him to say something.

'She was right you know.' Cal softly said.

'Who?' Gillian asked as she turned on her side to face him.

'Cecile, Joyce, whatever. About the part of me drinking myself to death.' He looked at her. 'If anything would ever happen to Em or to you I'd…' He shook his head as he looked away from her. 'Something would snap, I'd lose it. I'd go crazy.'

She sighed softly as her eyes played over his features. Taking in everything she saw on his face.

She stood up. 'Cal, if you want this to work.' She pointed between them. 'If you want anything to work between us. You have to give the idea that you don't deserve me up.' She straightened herself.

He just looked at her.

She began to come down the stairs. He kept sitting. She sighed as she reached the floor and sat herself down opposite him. 'What do you think about that?' She asked carefully.

He looked up at her wearily. 'It's the psychologist talking now yeah?' He asked.

She was afraid he would pick a fight, or deflect again so she looked away. To brace herself for what was to come now.

'I think you're right.' He said.

She looked up at him in surprise.

'Don't look so surprised. It's not like I never think you're right about something yeah?'

She smirked carefully.

'So if I work on that, with a little help from you maybe, are we good again then, just a bit yeah?' He asked as he pointed from her to him.

She nodded slightly.

He jumped up and dusted off his trousers. 'Well that just peachy then. I'm happy I am.' He smiled brightly at her, it made her laugh. 'See you in the office then yeah?' His eyes raked up her entire body. He pointed at her with his hand. 'Cuz you still need space and all yeah? I'd understood that correctly?'

She felt an intense desire course up her body. She had to look away when he looked at her again, took her all in.

'Cuz I can think of a few things we could-' He stopped mid sentence as he gave her a cheeky boyish grin. 'But you've got your space. How ever much space you want. It's all yours. Yeah?' He said.

She laughed. He really loved the sound of her laughs.

'Okay. Okay, I'm leaving then.' He swallowed, leaving was really hard, he wanted to kiss her so hard, hold her so firmly but he would respect her space. He'd try to anyway…

'Yes.' She said breathlessly.

He playfully raised an eyebrow at that because he could pick out the arousal and desire she tried to push away immediately. Her cheeks coloured a deep red instantly.

'Okay then, see you in about an hour yeah? Bye luv.'

She needed a very cold shower now...

000

Well I hope that was less depressing then last chapter! What did you think? Next chapter will REALLY be the last one!

xxxx