Chapter 22: This Isn't the End

What is love? It had been a time honored tradition for humans to ask that question. Love and the meaning of life went hand in hand over the ages. Yet, no one knew what love was. They asked for assistance from God, they questioned the heavens, and yet still it was unknown. Scientists had explanations for it in pheromones, hormones and rises in blood pressure. Nonetheless, things were never that simple. Some things could never been explained. Love and the meaning of life, those were just some of those unanswered questions. People would continue to wonder about these things until the end of time.

Rachel Berry had sung so many songs about love she knew what it was supposed to feel like. Love was supposed to overcome you and take over your every mood and action. You would wake up with thoughts of the one you loved and fell asleep thinking the same. It was like you were of one body one mind and one soul. The girl had read all those romance novels late at night under her cover with a flashlight; however, she never expected this to happen so early in her life. In fact, after her view of true love crumbled with Finn, the girl was content with being a spinster for a while. Rachel thought her love life would end with Finn Hudson of course she was wrong, so very wrong.

It is not every day that someone admits to loving you. Not just someone, though. Someone you actually love back. Not that puppy, OMG, "I wub you so much!" crap, but the real love that hurts as much as it gives pleasure. When Noah had admitted to loving Rachel Berry, she pinched herself secretly to see if it was real. The boy was too busy to notice this, looking down unbelieving at what he had just revealed. Yes, it was true Noah Puckerman had just admitted to being in love with the small brunette and now it was her turn to say something, say anything.

"You love me?" she finally asked, turning towards the boy as he frowned lost in thought. Her palms began to sweat. Why wouldn't he look at her, she wondered. This was the most important moment of their relationship and he was avoiding her.

"I can't believe I just admitted that out loud to you. I'm such an idiot. You're not over Finn. It's always going to be him." Puck was so confused, why was it always Finn? What was wrong with him?

Rachel shook her head, "You are so wrong, Puck. I…," she hesitated. Did she love Noah Puckerman? Was it possible? "I have never felt this way about anyone, okay? I'll admit it, too. And yes, tonight, I was worried that Finn could get hurt, but I was worried about you, too!"

"Right," Noah nodded, locking his jaw and turning away. Rachel took a deep breath. Of course she loved him; she has loved this boy for over a year now and it was time to stop hiding it.

"Do you know when was the first time I realized I loved you," Rachel asked as Noah picked up his head turning towards the girl. Her eyes were welling over and at that moment they were real. This wasn't fake waterworks she had used so many times to get her way. Her eyes were stinging because she was letting everything out.

"You love me, too?" Puck asked, laughing at the absurdity that he could be loved in return.

Rachel gave a slow nod, smiling. "It was when you were on the floor fighting with Finn last year. All I could think was, 'Oh, not his face, Finn.'" Rachel laughed as Puck turned towards her smirking. "I didn't want to believe it…that Finn wasn't the one for me. Deep down I knew, but I thought you wanted Quinn. So I pushed it so far down that I wouldn't let myself feel that. It hurt too much, you see?"

Noah looked down, taking a deep breath and letting Rachel's words sink in. "So what happened, what changed your mind?" he asked, looking up into the girl's eyes. His looked golden in the moonlight as Rachel smiled admiring his orbs.

"You kissed me, remember? When I was contemplating whether to go to France or stay here and go to cheerleading camp with Finn? You convinced me to go and then you kissed me," she laughed, remembering the feeling.

"So it wasn't the time we spent in the elevator together?" he asked, laughing all his angst away, letting the humor reach his eyes.

Rachel smiled, shaking her head, "That was nice, but I think I was already far too gone."

Puck sighed, leaning his head back on his seat. "You are the first girl who admitted you loved me and not in that stalker 'sleep with me, I tore up all your clothes' way, either." The boy laughed, turning slightly towards the small girl. "You're sure? I mean, I'm just a Lima loser, Berry. Some guy who is barely passing his classes and knocked his best friend's girl up sophomore year. I'm not exactly a pick of the litter."

Rachel took the boy's hand smiling. "You never were a Lima loser, Noah. You don't see what I see in you. I think we're both destined for great things."

Puck smiled leaning over and kissing Rachel sweetly. "Ow," he grimaced, holding his bruised chin.

"Awww! Did you get hurt, Noah?" the brunette asked, caressing the boy's bruises softly.

"I did, babe. You gonna kiss 'em and make 'em all better?" he inquired. There was a glint in his eyes.

Rachel kissed the boy again, smiling with an idea. "You need your rest, Noah. Pick me up here tomorrow afternoon, okay!" she kissed him again, smiling and excited.

"Wait! What?" the boy asked as his girlfriend as she jumped out of his truck, waving towards him excited.

The boy was excited, too, just not in the same way. Sighing, Puck leaned his head against the steering wheel, willing his heart to stop beating a mile a minute. How the hell could he go from being so pissed at Rachel that he was sure she was going to break his heart to admitting he loved her? Yet, the most surprising part was she loved him, too. His admission wasn't in vain. For the first time in Noah's life, he felt like he deserved all the good he got. Laughing to himself, the Mohawked boy drove off. Taking one lasting look towards Berry's bedroom light which had just illuminated to her presence, he headed home.

It was one of the longest nights Noah had ever had. He texted Rachel back and forth, pestering her about the surprise. The girl was like Fort Knox, barely giving him any hints. She would only allude to him having fun and to make sure he brought a healthy appetite. The brunette was no Santana Lopez. He knew Rachel was being literal so he skipped lunch the next afternoon and took a longer shower than normal. Maybe Puck was fifteen minutes earlier than he was supposed to be. That didn't matter to Rachel. Upon seeing his black Chevy parked outside, she ran to greet him.

"Good afternoon, Noah," his girlfriend smiled, pulling herself up into the boy's truck.

"So where are we going, babe?" he asked, kissing her lightly on the cheek.

"To school," the girl laughed, smiling wide. Puck frowned for a moment.

"Not exactly where I imagined we were going today, Berry," the boy laughed, turning towards the school.

"Well it's a surprise, so I hope you're surprised."

Puck looked over towards his girlfriend. "Does this surprise involve a dance with clothing being removed slowly? 'Cause that would be a great surprise." He shook his head as Rachel blushed, her neck turning beat red and her cheeks becoming rosy.

"Maybe," she whispered, causing Noah to yank the car to the right for a moment before gaining control.

"Wait, really?" he questioned, the images of Rachel flooding his brain had caused the boy to increase his speed as he weaved in and out of traffic.

"Noah, please! There's no need to drive that quickly," his girlfriend pleaded as the Chevy's tires screeched when he turned into the school parking lot.

"Sorry, B. I got carried away. So, we're here," he laughed, leaning towards her and unbuckling his seatbelt.

"Great!"

Puck smiled and kissed the brunette fully, reaching towards her to pull the girl closer to him.

"Noah," Rachel gasped, pulling away, "Let's go!" She jumped out of the truck, waving for the boy to follow her as she made her way towards the football field.

The boy took a deep breath to steady himself then looked down, checking his pants, before emerging from the truck. He jogged towards his girlfriend, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

"So why are we here?" he asked as he stopped, noticing the blanket in the middle of the football field.

"I thought we could have a picnic, before it got too cold to do so."

Noah watched confuse as the small brunette led him towards the center of the field there was all his favorites laid out for him. Peanut-butter sandwiches with no crust, Mountain Dew, Cool Ranch Doritos, and Hostess cupcakes.

"You did this all for me?" he asked, smirking as he reached down and bit in to the cupcake.

"Noah! Those are for dessert!" Rachel chastised.

The boy shrugged, enjoying the creamy filled middle as he eyed the girl in front of him. She looked beautiful; her hair wavy shone in the late afternoon sun. She smiled as a light gust of wind picked up, sending her locks rustling.

"I have something to say, Noah Puckerman," Rachel announced giving a signal to someone up in the control room.

Puck looked up, wondering who it could be, and saw Santana Lopez smirking as she hit a button. He blinked for a moment, looking back down as music began to play. The boy sort of recognized the song, but as Rachel sang the first couple of lines, his heart jumped nearly out of his chest.

It was a chance Rachel Berry had to take. She knew the only way to prove her love to Noah was in her own way. No matter how many times she told him how she felt, she knew he was going to think Finn meant more to her than he did. That was the way Puck was. He had been second for so long that he didn't see how wonderful he was. Finn Hudson may have been a natural born leader; however, that didn't make her boyfriend a follower. So when she thought of her boyfriend and how she felt, "I Honestly Love You" began to play in her mind and it was perfect.

Noah swallowed hard and finished the cupcake in one bite, washing it down with a slug of Mountain Dew. When he had sung for Rachel last year, it was to get into her pants. Now that she was singing for him, all he want to do was hold her as close as he possibly could. Walking slowly towards her, Rachel tried to focus as the boy smirked inches from her face.

"I love you. I honestly love you," Rachel sang, making Noah lean in closer and stopping her from singing with his lips.

He held her close, kissing her with all his heart. He was still a badass, but this was love. He thought about picking the small girl up in his arms and laying her down on the blanket. Rachel laughed as they made out for a few minutes before her stomach growled causing both teens to laugh.

"I do have that affect on girls," Puck smiled, sitting the small girl up.

"Sorry, I haven't eaten all day…getting things ready," she admitted, taking a piece of sandwich and devouring it.

"I've never had a girl sing to me before. I mean, it was corny as all hell and really cheesy, but I loved it." Puck laughed at the thought, he was surprised and flattered.

Rachel blushed, licking the crumbs from her lips before responding. "I just couldn't figure out how to tell you how I felt without getting things wrong. Then it came to me, put it to song. And I know that things didn't start our right between us, but I've never felt this way before about anyone, Noah. You don't have to worry about Finn or anyone else for that matter."

"I know," Puck replied, leaning in again to seductively kiss her again. Rachel wrapped her arms around the boy as she fell back against the blanket.

This was the moment Rachel thought, the sun was setting and they only had the pink light of dusk to illuminate the field. Noah was being perfect, the song had gone over great, and everything had fallen into place.

"I want more," the small brunette whispered, clutching Noah closer.

Puck pulled away, looking at the girl beneath him. He had never hesitated before when a girl whispered those words in his ear. In fact, hesitation was usually a deal breaker.

"You sure?" he asked immediately regretting the question. He knew Rachel was a virgin, in fact the last time he had done this with a virgin there was no "Are you sure?" or long gazes, but just hands and clothes and lots of regret.

Rachel stared at Noah longingly, nodding slowly with a smile. Unbelieving, Noah kissed her gently his hands moving towards her clothes as the lights came on and they heard a booming voice.

"You kids better get the hell out of here before I call the cops." It was the janitor, Bob McHeavy. The man was bitter, always angry, and hated teens. He was the perfect choice for a night janitor at McKinley High.

Puck and Rachel sighed, jumping up quickly. The brunette was shaking with disappointment as her boyfriend grabbed the blanket and food, letting go of holding her hand. When they reached the Chevy they were both laughing nervously.

"That was close," Noah sighed, exasperated as he threw the contents in back and followed Rachel into his truck.

"It was," she replied, thinking about what had just happened. She was so ready to give herself to this boy, but now that determination scared her.

"Hey, we can always go to my place, Sarah is sleeping over a friend's house, and Mom is working a double.

Rachel nodded slowly. Without the moon glow above her and the feeling of Puck's arms around her, she wasn't as brave. Her boyfriend noticed the sudden change in her and frowned with the realization.

"Right, maybe I should get you home then."

Rachel nodded slowly as Puck sighed exasperated, taking off towards her house. "Did you at least have a good time?"

The boy laughed, trying to smile. He was a little pissed at the stupid janitor who had ruined the moment and the mood. Yet, none of that was Rachel's fault. As she smiled at him genuinely, he couldn't help but nod his approval.

"Of course I did, babe," he leaned over, kissing her just as he parked the truck in her driveway.

Rachel sighed opening her door sadly. Something didn't feel right, but she couldn't stop it. "I'll see you tomorrow, Noah?"

"I'll text you in a bit, Berry," he smiled, watching her go slowly. With a sigh he waited till she was safely in her house before taking off towards home.

'How did it go?' Santana texted the boy and made him laugh. The Latina had grown up since they had dated. She was actually trying to help a friend hook up with him, ironically.

'Great, thanks, Lopez,' her replied, pulling onto his street sexually frustrated.

Rachel leaned against her bedroom door, her heart felt heavy and full of regret. Why had she let Noah leave? Why wasn't she with him right now? Rachel kept asking herself why she had hesitated a few moments ago. She changed into her white nightgown and pulled her number twenty over her shoulders. The brunette could feel Puck's arms around her and she felt empty. The fabric paled in comparison to the real thing. She couldn't sleep and all she wanted was to turn back time.

Puck lay in bed after a nice cold shower still frustrated and wide awake. All he could think of was missed opportunities. Rachel Berry, skin so soft and smelling so sweet in his arms. He closed his eyes for a moment until he heard a soft thud. Blinking the sleep away Puck sat up in bed focusing his eyes on the white figure before him. This had to be a dream, he thought, looking down and smiling. Whenever the boy dreamed of Rachel coming in through his window at night, she was barefoot. This time she had a pair of Five Star sneakers from glee club and his hood over her nightgown.

"This isn't a dream," he laughed, causing the girl to smile.

"You've dreamed about this before?" she asked, walking closer as the boy threw the covers off himself and stood up slowly.

"For over a year, yeah," he replied his hands gently removing the sweatshirt and throwing it towards his desk chair. "Except the shoes, Berry; those are a nice touch."

"How else could I climb up, Noah?" she asked while smiling and looking up into his eyes.

"That's what I said," he leaned down, kissing her gently pulling her close to him.

"I made a mistake," Rachel whispered, kicking off her sneakers as her boyfriend pulled her towards the bed.

"What mistake?" he asked, kissing her neck gently and sitting her down next to him. He swept her hair out of his way, revealing her exposed flesh.

"Tonight, I should have said "yes" to coming here. I ran all the way here. I couldn't sleep or think about anything but you," Rachel gasped as Puck ran his finger tips lightly against her arms; she was feeling light headed now.

"This is so much better though, like a fantasy of mine actually," the boy replied, kissing the girl more forcefully laying her down on his bed.

"It is?" Rachel laughed, gasping for air as she started to feel lost in Noah's arms.

"You have no idea," he smirked, kissing her lips again and moving slowly downward.

It was at that moment that Rachel realized Puck was only in his boxers and there was only light fabric that kept them from each other. He was so sweet and slow lifting her night gown over her head and drinking in her body with a smile. She was perfect, a small package of awaking and wonder. He didn't know how she could love him, but it was amazing that she did.

"I love you, Noah Puckerman," Rachel gasped, feeling Noah pull her the last piece of fabric away that separated them.

"We are so cornball, babe," he laughed, kissing her gently. His hands were rough, yet felt very manly. He smelled like soap and boy. It was the only way she could describe him. It was this beautiful musk sent that drove her wild.

"I don't care," Rachel sighed, pulling Noah closer as he smiled.

This was her first time with anyone and as they made love she couldn't imagine it being with anyone else. Her heart was beating erratically; she could feel every one of her hairs stand on end. It was the most amazing moment of her life and nothing had ever felt this great before. How she could have waited so long was unreal. Noah was the one and even that was a miracle. Yet, there he smiled his features so beautiful his heart beating as fast and loudly as hers.

Rachel Berry was growing up and Puck the Puckerman, aka man-whore, had helped her along the way. She had finally understood what love was and helped Noah admitted to being in love. How odd it was, they were the odd couple. Who would have guessed that the boy who took so much pleasure in throwing slushies in her face would be so sweet and gentle? Rachel certainly would've never guessed; her future was unknown. She wished she could say that she and Noah would never break up or fight or hurt one another.

Love was hard; being in relationships was even more difficult. There were ups and downs that came with the territory. Did she want to spend the rest of her life with Noah Puckerman? She could certainly see herself doing that. Would it happen? She wasn't sure. First loves were complicated and they didn't always end in marriage. So much could happen in a year and her relationship with Puck had proven that much. If anything Rachel had realized that even the best laid plans had bumps and that you can always choose the unbeaten path.

Honestly, Rachel couldn't help but think about being with Noah forever, and yet, if they just remained friends she was okay with that, too. The boy had invaded her heart and wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. She was completely gone a slave to the feelings he had awoken within her. She wanted him and he wanted her and for the moment, that's all that mattered. She would have to think about the future sometime. But right then and there, as he looked into her eyes and kissed her softly whispering her name, it was enough. Maybe tomorrow, she thought, or next week.

I wish I could tell you that Noah and Rachel lived happily ever after and they never faltered or cried. That they got married and moved into a two story house with a white picket fence and two and a half kids living in the suburbs, but I can't. The fact is a true love story has no ending, no happily ever after, just a fade away into the unknown. What I do know is that their love is real, their tears and fights were real, and the sun rose the next day, and shone brightly that Sunday morning. Maybe Puck would mess up again and possibly Rachel had some tough choices ahead of her. Yet in the end, the girl had a point, didn't she? The future is unknown and to focus on what if would have made her miserable. She is a girl in love and living in the moment for the first time in her life. Though this is not the end for them, it is in fact the end.