A/N: Part 1 and Part 2 are actually the same story, written in different ways, personally I like 1 better but I wanted to upload 2 as well, so there.
Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII or its characters.

I can't believe I'm doing this, I can't believe he talked me into this, into this sick joke. I love him I really do but why in the world did I agree? How can he do this to me? Or to him! Sephiroth doesn't deserve this; he's a nice man even though everyone always says he's not. They look so good together, but, Zack says he likes me, he says he loves me. But what about the General? He loves Zack and Zack is the only one that loves him, as far as he knows that is. Why is Zack letting me come between them?

I don't want to be the one to break them up; I don't want them to lavish me with attention if that means they are forgetting each other. I can't do this; I can't go with Zack tomorrow and meet Sephiroth, not like this. Zack says they talked about it, that they both want me to join them, that they both love me but… it can't be true. I'm neither worth their time nor their efforts, Zack shouldn't want to take care of me, I can take care of myself, as I always have. He should focus his attention on Sephiroth, who needs it.

Why doesn't he realize that Sephiroth is the best man for him? Doesn't he realize that Sephiroth can give him everything he ever wanted, every thing he deserves? Besides, Sephiroth deserves his happiness too. Since Commander Hewley died and Commander Rhapsodos disappeared he's been so lonely. I don't want this, I want to go home and rot in Hell like I deserve. I don't, I don't want to break them up, I don't want Sephiroth to be alone again, I don't want Zack to keep trying and failing to make Sephiroth smile. I want them both to smile; I want them both to be happy, I want them both to know what it feels like when you're loved.

So I left, in the middle of the night after Zack 'accidently' kissed me, before I could ruin anything between them, with nothing but a hand full of Gil and the clothes on my back. I didn't know where to go but anywhere was better then here, except maybe Nibelheim. I travelled through Kalm and went south-east until I bumped into a chocobo farm. I asked if I could stay the night if I helped them with work in the morning, I ended up never leaving.

They found me after four years of searching, even though I hadn't been trying to hide myself, I never thought they would come after me. It took me four years to realize that maybe I wasn't the worst thing in the world. It only took them a couple of days to make me come with them, to their home, my home.

So now I'm leaving again, this time though I'm riding between the loves of my life; Zack and Sephiroth on my own golden Chocobo. I picked out his parents, raised and trained him myself. He's my pride and joy and it took me four years of loving him before I realized I missed a normal human love in my life.