Wow, this is my first story in a while, huh? I've been wanting to write a Tsubasa/Misaki for ages, and I finally got around to typing it all up. Hope you enjoy.

Tsubasa, 2002

Nobody listens to me. Really. When I tell Tono to cut his hair because it's getting too long and I keep thinking he's a cute girl from behind, does he do it? Nope. When I yell at that gay freak Amane to give up on me already, because I will never ever, even if they start having Christmas parties in hell, go out with him or whatever it is he wants, does he? Nuh-uh. And I'm absolutely positively certain that I very clearly specified that I didn't want a birthday party.

Did Misaki listen? No.

I should have known. That's what happens when one of your good friends is honestly concerned about your self-esteem, even if partly because she caught you trying to scratch your name in your wrist with a safety pin in class once when you were bored. When you tell her "no party" apparently she hears "I'm just feeling sorry for myself because my only friends are you and Kaname and Megane and Tono and Bear if he counts, and that's not enough to have a good party, especially because Kaname probably wouldn't be able to come anyway and Tono won't go near Bear ever since the stupid fluffball gave him a black eye last year, and I don't even know what Megane's actual name is. You know what would make me feel better? Why don't you throw me a party with the entire Special Ability Class? The more, the merrier, huh?"

That, of course, never went through my head.

Alright, maybe once or twice. But, still.

I think it's just that I don't speak girlish or girlese or whatever that weird cryptic language that girls speak in is called. I mean, girls don't say what they mean or what they want. In a normal world governed by the laws of common sense, if someone says that they don't want a fuss on their birthday, hypothetically, then they don't get a fuss. Apparently, they actually want a fuss, so they yell at your for not making a fuss, then you yell back that they said not to make a fuss, and then they kick you in the knee multiple times, and then you make a fuss, and they're happy, and you can't walk right for three days.

(This is all hypothetical, remember).

All I need to know about girls, I learned from getting beat up. Or from Tono, but I'd like not to think about some of the stuff he tells me.

So, I went up to Megane earlier this afternoon.

"Hey." I said.

He waved me off; too busy with his game boy type thing that they let you have in class because it's actually supposed to be a calculator. It used to be mine. He stole it out of my backpack six months ago and I don't care enough to wrestle it back.

I tried again.

"What are we doing in Ability class later? Misaki doesn't know."

"'Course she knows." he answered, still not looking up. "We're having Tsubasa's birthday party, remember? Don't tell him, though. It's a…"

He trailed off awkwardly, turning his head slowly in the classic dramatic double take.

"Surprise?" I guessed.

The moron sighed, but brightened within seconds. "Surprise!" he cheered in a friendly sort of way, though it was a bit pathetic all the same.

I think that even he knows how bad he is at this. It's surprising, seeing how much practice he gets at being the bearer of bad news.

For example, a few months ago: "Hey, well, Tono's going around betting people actual money that you and Misaki are going to be, like, sex friends by the time you're in high school. You know, when you're hooking up, but not actually together…"

(I learned sometime later that he actually put in half his allowance).

"Misaki's going to kill you." I stated simply, flopping into the seat behind him. "This was her idea, I assume."

"Yep." he groaned. "You know, I don't know how you put up with her without wearing shin guards all the time."

I leaned forwards and watched Megane's abandoned game character fall into an unfortunately placed hole. "She's not that bad, really."

"I guess you're right. A helmet would be better, huh?"

Before I could figure out whether to defend my chick friend or agree wholeheartedly, Misaki-sensei had entered the room and everyone snapped back down into their actual seats. The red-headed traitor sat down on my right and dug out a notebook. I glared at her for two and a half minutes straight. She didn't notice.

Well, I needed something to do. I started coloring my fingernails purple with Sharpie.

When I finished the left side and was busy trying to figure out how to do the right nails with appropriate precision, Misaki (Not the one who is authorized to give me detention, thank god) looked over at me and my permanent-ink-stained hands and rolled her eyes. Flipping open my folder (mine!), she ripped an old geometry test in half (mine also, not that I care about my geometry tests) and scribbled on the back of it in blue ballpoint.

Do you want to look like you smashed all your fingers with a hammer? Honestly, you could at least try paying attention for once.

I took the note, replying sloppily with the thick marker and shoving it back under her traitorous nose.

I'm mad at you, you know.

Misaki almost laughed when she read the paper over, but disguised it as a cough when the teacher looked up curiously. She bent her head down low over the table, her hair shielding our note from view.

I share my food, I cover for you when you skip class, and I practically pass your exams for you every damn year. I thought we agreed that you'd never be mad at me, ever.

By the way, what are you mad at me for, exactly?

Apparently, it didn't even cross her mind.

Let's just say I won't be showing up to ability class next period.

There was a definite eye roll when she read that bit.

You heartless bastard, is that what this is about? Why can you not accept that people want to get you presents and have fun and generally shower you with affection?

Oh, come on. We have cake. Kaname bribed this one girl from technical to make it for us.

I stared in shock. Not the part when she called me a heartless bastard, that happened on a regular basis. Not the part about being showered with affection, which I wasn't too thrilled about anyway, but could maybe eventually learn to deal with if it keeps on happening.

I can't believe you're making Kaname use his alice just so I can have a stupid birthday cake! You do know it's killing him, right?

Misaki sighed, rolling her eyes for the third time in two minutes.

It's not like we were going to stop him. They're letting him out of the hospital and everything. He was all gung-ho about it because he "thought you could use some cheering up."

Cheering up about what?

Cheering up about what? Good question. Once we ended up talking about feelings, I decided it was about time to change the subject completely.

Hey, will you do my right hand?

Meaning draw on my fingernails, of course. Not… Well, you know. Misaki didn't catch it, though.

I will not "do" any part of you, thanks.

I hurriedly scribbled a response on the edges of the paper before she burnt though me with a stare of disgust.

Not like that, stupid. I meant my fingernails.

I waved my purple hand at her. She grimaced, her expression clearly screaming "No way."

"It's my birthday" I mouthed.

She gave in, grudgingly. Seizing my hand and my marker, she anchored the former firmly against her leg underneath the desk. She uncapped the Sharpie and held the lid in her mouth. As she squinted down at my hand, filling in missed spots, I couldn't help thinking that I probably looked like I was having a heart attack.

Not that I've ever seen anyone have a heart attack. Whatever.

That neat little recap brings us up to now. I'm outside the classroom, back against the wall, hiding from people, presents, and cake, and thinking over how much of a coward I am. Does that sound stupid to you?

Yeah. Me too.

I wonder what exactly it is that I'm afraid of. Misaki would go all psychiatrist on me and say that I'm afraid of love or something like that. I'm not sure if 'love' and 'party' are on the same plane, but it's the best I'm going to get. Of course, love-phobia sounds like the stupidest and most irrational fear that you could possibly have, so I've done everything in my power to convince her that she's delusional.

Then again, I'm the one hiding from my own birthday party.

I take a deep breath and turn the doorknob.

"Hey! Hey, you guys, somebody turn out the lights!"

"No, not me! He's closer!"

"Somebody help me with the cake! It's gonna fall!"

Several heads turn stupidly towards the now-open door.

"Hey." says Megane, shifting awkwardly; the metal tab from a soda can in his mouth. "He's here. Happy birthday."

"Weren't we supposed to yell surprise?" questions one of the younger elementary students.

"Oh, right." Tono laughs.

"Surprise!" choruses the class (now that I look around, plus Kaname), cheerily waving their glasses or whatever they happened to be holding at the moment.

Ah, the Special Ability Class. Inept as ever, but don't you just want to hug them all?

Misaki runs forwards and pulls me into the crowd, Kaname (holding Bear, who many of the surrounding people are glancing at warily every few seconds) at her heels.

"Well, well." she giggles smugly. "Look who decided to show up."

"I didn't have anything else to do, and some stupid kid was in my tree." I grumble, staring at the opposite wall. "Be quiet."

Not much later, it became clear that everyone had been too busy keeping all of this a secret to think of something to actually do once the party got going. As tends to happen when you put several adolescents in a room together with sugar for an hour or so with nothing much else to do, we end up in a circle in the center of the room, playing truth or dare. I've never really seen the appeal of it, personally. It's just kind of a "let's-tell-all-our-deepest-darkest-secrets" game, and I always thought the point of secrets wasn't to tell everybody you know. Despite a good amount of chiding from Kaname, I opt out.

It's still fun to watch, though. Just because you don't humiliate yourself doesn't mean you can't get a spectator seat while everyone else does.

"Hmmm… You, old guy, truth or dare?"

"Dare." Tono leans back against a table leg, not bothering to protest at being called "old guy".

Megane grins in a very uncharacteristic way that terrifies most of the people in the vicinity and takes something shiny from behind his back. Most of the class recoils in horror as his pair of scissors open and close menacingly, making that scraping kind of sound that you just associate with cutting stuff.

Tono not included.

"Violence isn't allowed." he states matter-of-factly.

"Oh," says the bespectacled wonder. "What I'm cutting isn't going to bleed."

"What do you mean?"

"Your hair, stupid. I'm going to cut your hair."

The room explodes into laughter as Tono stands up and scrambles backwards until he hits a desk. "No way am I letting you near my head with those. You sadistic bastard."

Misaki seizes the scissors from Megane's grip. "Let me do it! I wanna do it!"

"Hey! Let go!"

Misaki wins. In her typical fashion, she's got the coward pinned to the ground in less than a minute. Everyone stands up and crowds around, and it looks more like a fistfight than a haircut.

"Stop squirming!" Misaki complains. "Do you want me to slit your throat by accident?" Tono surrenders grudgingly, staring distastefully at the girl sitting on his stomach. She snips off a huge hunk of hair from the left side of his head and grins triumphantly.

"Aren't you going to do the rest?" asks Tono, with a slightly hysterical tone.

"Nah," giggles Misaki. "It's fine like this."

"Are you kidding me?"

She flicks him on the forehead, smiling in her fakest, sweetest, most innocent way, and you can practically see the little sideways smiley face when she talks. "Nope. Sorry, though."

"Damn you." he hisses, flipping over and trapping her underneath him.

I don't know about you, but it irritates me if a thirteen-year old girl and a seventeen-year old boy stay in that position for that long. Or, any amount of time, really. It probably classifies as sexual harassment, so, at least I have a reason. I'm not, like, in love with Misaki, or anything else along those lines that Megane or Tono or Narumi (teachers should mind their own business, really) or the rest of the school might insinuate. It's just weird, sick and wrong. Intervention is necessary.

I push my way into the middle of the circle and kick Tono in the side. When he rolls over in pain, I grab Misaki and pull her up.

"Get off her."

"Get off me!" she commands, flailing her arm wildly to twist it out of my grip.

I do. I drop her. A silence spreads over the room as half of us hold our breath.

"You're dead." she groans from the floor.

So far, life has taught me to run away whenever I hear something like that. Misaki jumps up and chases me until I hit the opposite wall. Everyone follows her, eager to watch whatever the hell is going to happen next, leaving Tono and that chunk of his hair forgotten on the ground.

Before Misaki can do who-knows-what-harm to me, my best-friend-for-a-reason intervenes.

"Please don't kill him. It's his birthday."

Misaki rolls her eyes for the millionth time today, staring me down with an annoyed expression. "I'm getting tired of you playing the birthday card."

"Me? I didn't play anything!" I exclaim. "Can't you guys just get back to your game or something?"

"That's a good idea." says Kaname hurriedly, cutting of Misaki before she can say anything and dragging her back towards the middle of the room. "Come on."

The game of truth or dare resumes. First kisses are described, crushes are revealed, and virginities come into question. Not all that interesting.

"Hey, Misaki-chan. Truth or dare." Tono says lazily from the floor.

"I thought I told you not to call me that."

"Whatever. Truth or dare."

She weighs her options, and decides upon dare.

"Hmm…" he wonders aloud. I shudder as his gaze fall directly on me. "I think you should kiss someone in the room. Whoever. On the lips."

Because he's so original like that. Nevertheless, I pay attention.

"You want me to do what?" Misaki protests.

"Hey, you've been bragging about being a teenager. Act like it."

She doesn't even bother to protest that she hasn't been bragging about anything, just holding it over my head for fun. Misaki turns around to look at me too. So does the rest of the class.

She's not going to…

No, she's not. She whips her head around and kisses a stunned Kaname on the mouth.

What happens in my head (at least, I assume in my head) is best described as the world falling apart. A loud chorus of "Ooooh" starts up, along with a few whistles, and a startled "what the hell!" that I realize must have come from me when several neighboring people look around in alarm. Kaname looks like he would very much like to melt into the floor, and Misaki looks immensely satisfied.

I don't have the slightest idea what expression is on my face, but when I see the one on Misaki's after we make eye contact, I suppose it must be outraged. That makes sense, though. My best friends just kissed. If they started dating or something, then where would I be? What if they broke up? My life would suck forever.

I'm taken by surprise when Misaki stands back up, and grabs me by the arm. Everyone watches in a stunned silence as she slams the door behind us with unnecessary force.

"What's your problem today?" She demands, pushing me back against the door. "You're acting all weird."

"What's your problem?" I say. "You're the one who's tried to kill me like, five times in the last couple hours."

Her voice softens considerably, probably for fear of being overheard, but keeps the same angry tone. "Why did you look at me like that? After I…well, you know."

"I don't know…" I deadpan hopelessly.

"You think it's… weird… that I picked him, don't you?" Misaki asks.

"Yeah, kind of!" I answer truthfully.

"Did you expect me to kiss you?"

"Yeah, kind of!"

She leans closer, trying to get a better look at my face. "Do you… like me?"

"Yeah, kind of!" I repeat without thinking.

She raises an eyebrow, and I swear I hear a faint growl.

"I… I didn't mean that." I murmur.

"You better not have." She hisses, and I feel the instinctive need to put my hands up in surrender.

"I didn't. I swear."

"Good. I'm not going to let you ruin this, you know."

"Ruin what?"

Misaki sighs, leaning back next to me against the doorframe. "You're hopeless."

We stand there awkwardly for a few moments, until I change the subject. "What's it like… being a teenager or whatever?"

"Well, for starters, you get perverted seventeen-year-olds trying to get you to kiss your friends." she grins. "But, really, it's not that different. You just have more girl crap to deal with, you know?"

"No." I say confusedly. "I'm not a girl."

"Yeah, sorry." She blushes, biting her lip.

"Well, should we like, go back inside or something?"

She turns the knob and pushes the door open, only to hear a loud yell and find Tono on the ground yet again.

"Ouch." He groans. "Give me some warning, will you?"

"Idiot. Eavesdropping is rude, you know."

While the two of them get into another argument, I make my way over to the table and slice off the entire top tier of my birthday cake. Another year, more chances for my life to be even more awkward than it already is.

This started out as a Thirty Kisses fic, but I realized that no way was I going to be able to think of thirty plots. Then it became ten chapters. Now, I'm mushing them together, cutting them out, adding new ones, and who knows how long this is going to end up.

This is more like related oneshots than an actual chaptered fic. Expect timeskips, flashbacks, reminiscence, etc. The manga came out in 2003, and Mikan joined the academy sometime in the fall (when Tsubasa and Misaki were fourteen), so I'm basing the dates off that information. This chapter is set in July of the previous year, Tsubasa's thirteenth birthday (if you somehow didn't catch that).

I'm not going to force you to review or anything. Do what you want. It's always nice, though.