Disclaimer: Uhm. Wow. Really?

Author's Note! Whoo! So, this is my first completed Star Trek fic ever, so don't molly coddle me. This is definitely humour, and that's the way it was meant to be. That, and I have an unhealthy obsession with 2009's Jim and his cocksucker lips.

Enjoy!

Jim Kirk's oral fixation was famous. Of that, McCoy was certain. He smirked, remembering his deliciously evil Christmas gift to Jim of a box of chocolate-covered treats. And, of course, two days later Jim was seated in his chair on the bridge, McCoy's gift popped in his lap. McCoy smirked as he stood behind his captain's chair, glancing around at the assorted faces of the Enterprise's bridge crew.

Spock's chair was turned sideways, and the half-Vulcan was watching his captain out of the corner of his eyes. The captain was currently sucking the chocolate off of a brightly-coloured Earth berry-a strawberry, Spock thought it was called. Spock watched his captain's lips work around the fruit, closing around it firmly, mouth stained slightly darker due to the chocolate. He found the sight purposefully…erotic.

Jim removed the fruit from his mouth; a thin ring of chocolate was left near the green leaves pinched between his fingers. He bit the berry smoothly in half, an appreciative smile gracing his face. He chewed neatly, swallowing with a pleased hum. He plucked the leaves off the end of the fruit before popping the remains of it into his mouth.

Chekov watched as his captain offed the remaining strawberries in the box, and then glance down, looking pensive. Kirk's face lit up childishly, and he plucked a chewy-looking, chocolate-covered Carmel bar from the box in his lap. Chekov blushed as he saw the captain bring the candy to his lips, tongue flicking out to caress the corner of the candy. Pavel's eyes were wide, and he was trying not to be caught staring at his captain. Though, with the captain busy, and everyone's eyes-save Uhura's-rooted on him, he should not have worried too much. So the young Ensign watched, blushing brightly, as his captain pushed the bar further past his lips. The slab looked to be bigger than Pavel's hand and rectangular-the kind Pavel had always pictured being cut into blocks to make the individually wrapped candies. But that didn't stop the treat from being almost fully engulfed in his superior's mouth, pink lips wrapped around only the only tiny segment of the candy left visible. Pavel gulped.

Jim pulled the Carmel bar from his mouth, sucking the chocolate away from the chewy candy. He licked his lips and popped them with a smack! He bit off a chunk of the candy, sucking hard and kneading it against the roof of him mouth to spread it flat across his tongue. He bit it into little segments, swallowing a piece at a time. He bit into the candy again, repeating his action and spreading it flat. Only this time, he rolled it into a tube, before finally chuckling at himself and eating the rest of the candy. And if he made it look slightly lewd sometimes, hollowing his cheeks around the bar, who was complaining?

Sulu was gaping openly at the captain. His jaw went slack as Kirk extracted a quite large chocolate-covered banana from the brightly decorated read-and-white box in his lap. His hands fisted against his regulation slacks as the treat slid past Kirk's lips. Sulu saw his cheeks hollow just slightly, and his jaw work almost unnoticeably. The captain removed the banana and Sulu noticed a strip of exposed fruit, no doubt rubbed away sweetly by the captain's laving tongue. Sulu bit his lips together. The captain pressed the banana back through his lips until only the off white end of it remained in sight. The fruit was withdrawn a moment later, and Sulu's eyes widened. The banana was completely free of its chocolate coating. And still looked perfectly intact. Sulu pressed his fists into his legs harder as the action was repeated, the fruit sliding deeply into his captain's mouth. Only, this time, when the banana reappeared there was a sizable chunk missing from the tip. But Kirk hadn't bitten down. Oh, sweet Jesus…

Jim swallowed hard around the banana, throat muscles contracting harshly, pulling off a small chunk of the soft fruit. Jim smiled. He loved doing that. He was pretty sure Bones loved it too. Jim smirked, knowing that the good doctor bothering to get him a Christmas gift this year was to tease the bridge crew. Jim figured he might as well give them a show. He turned his attention back to the banana, and scraped the tip back to a smooth point with his teeth. He admired his handy work before biting the fruit clean in half, chewing happily.

McCoy stood, riveted beside Jim's chair, staring down at the young captain. He watched as Jim pulled on the stick of the last morsel in the box-a dark chocolate lollypop. Beta shift was almost over, and McCoy couldn't help but wonder which of the crew would make it out of the room fastest. He looked down just in time to see Jim's tongue reach out and lap at the chocolate, and heard Jim groan in appreciation. His sweet tooth, McCoy was sure, must have felt like it was being honored as the guest of a lifetime.

Jim touched the chocolate to his lips and almost raised an eyebrow at how cold it felt. He slid the bar into his mouth, fingers abandoning the sticks to fold the various wrappers peeled off the various pieces of candy. He leaded his head back, letting it rest on the cushion of his chair, and stared out at the stars, watching them wiz passed. Once the chocolate was soft enough, he broke off the chunk that was in his mouth, and set the rest of the candy on the bed of wrappers in the middle of the box on his lap. He pressed it to the roof of his mouth before pushing it past his lips, going cross-eyed to see. He sucked it back in slowly, stopping half way to push it back out, only a tiny bit. Repeating the action a ridiculous amount of times, he created a small recess in the top and bottom of the candy. He smiled around the chocolate between his lips, before reaching up to break it in half again, chewing delightedly. He slipped the other piece into his mouth, licking the tips of his fingers.

McCoy watched, slightly wide eyed as two thirds of what remained of the lollypop-which was quite a lot-disappeared between Jim's lips. That chocolate treat had to have started out as long as his forearm. McCoy coughed uncomfortably, eyes still rooted to Jim's mouth, the captain's jaw working minutely.

At the conclusion of Beta shift, McCoy was the one who fled the bridge fastest, Jim following lazily behind, hands in his pockets, whistling conspiratorially.