So I've finally gotten around to making the one-shots about the lists that I said I would. I'm not doing all of them, but the funnier ones will most likely be turned into one-shots. If you have a specific number that you want to be turned into a one-shot, put the number and which list it's from in a pm.
On with the show!
-LuvableLittleMonster

Number One: Declare that Lestat is 50 times cooler than Edward will ever be... sparklepire

Edward and Bella were sitting in the living room when Emmett came bounding in, a picture frame in his hands.

"Don't mind me, I just have to hang this up real quick, and then I can get out of your way!" He said happily. He hung the frame on a nail sticking out of the wall a little bit, right in Edward's line of vision. Before Edward could read it, Emmett ran as fast as he could outside and into the woods.

Curious, Edward looked up at the frame to see what it was. Suddenly, he glared in Emmett's general direction and told Bella that he'd be back soon. Wondering what could make Edward so mad, she got up to take a look at what was in the frame.

Inside, there was a paper, and on the paper, written in very elegant penmanship was this:

I, Emmett Cullen, hereby declare that Lestat the vampire is 50 times
cooler than the so-called vampire Edward Cullen... the damn sparklepire.

Bella immediately burst out laughing at the fact that Edward's ego was big enough to be hurt by something as small as this, something that had come from Emmett, who was also - by definition - a sparklepire.

Short, but funny. The next one I'm doing is number 3 from the original list. That one will be longer I promise! If you plan on entering the contest that I've set up, then How to Enter is in the second part of the rules.

Ciao!
~LuvableLittleMonster~