**Gets shot because of slow updating**

Ow! That hurt you douchebags! Oh well, I deserve it. Or maybe that's just the Butters in me talking. Still, I've been very lazy about writing, but I'm back now! I got a little to obsessed with KylexCartman pairings that I neglected my own CartmanxButters story :( I have some great new ideas for this story though, so I was too excited to not start writing again XP

This one will be from Cartman's point of view. I love getting inside his amazing Nazi mind :D

That being said; VERZICHT: I don' t besitzen South Park, erhalten jetzt Ihr vorangehen heraus von hohem Ihr sehr großes Arschloch und stoppen, mich zu klagen!!

I wonder if he has blonde pubes?

Wait, what the hell?! Did I seriously just think that? Wow, I need to lay off the cheesy poofs. Stupid chemical fake cheese, must be fuckin with my brain or something.

"Hey lard ass, stop fantasizing about my hot bod and get over here!" Kenny yelled behind his hood, which he was about to take off. Please, like I'd really fantasize about him. Even though he has naturally blonde hair, his roots are brown, so he probably doesn't even have blonde pubes. God, Kennys an asshole.

Was I just thinking about pubes again? Why exactly are the color of his pubes important? I confuse myself sometimes, damnit.

"I'm comin you douche!" I said, running over to Kenny as he turned and walked into the classroom ahead of me. Why exactly do we only have one classroom and teacher and we're in 8th grade? I hate how poor and redneck this little town is.

As I walked into the class, I couldn't help but noticing Butters was bent over talking to Kyle. Hmm, Butters looks pretty nice in that position. I wonder...

Uh, er, I mean... Whats that fag doin talking to that jew rat? Whys Kyle so nice to him anyway? Dumbasses, I'll teach them.

"Hellooo Fags!" I said with the brightest possible smile on my face. Kyle and Butters turned around, Kyle glaring at me, obviously knowing that my remark was directed at them, while Butters looked up at me with a real smile on his face. Ha! That idiot couldn't detect sarcasm if it bit him in the balls.

"Gah! What do you want Cartman?" The jew fag said.

"Gosh Kyle, I don't see why you have to be so darn mean. I was only sayin hello to you!" I did my best Butters impression. Ha, hit two birds with one stone. I'm so awesome.

"Don't make fun of Butters, Cartman! What has he ever done to you anyway?" Kyle said, getting all up in my face like it was his business. God I hate him so much.

"Why don't you just stop being such a bitch sometimes, Kyle? You are so just like your mother!" I said, ready to punch him in the dick.

"FUCK OFF CARTMAN!! AT LEAST MY MOM ISNT THE BIGGEST SLUT IN TOWN!"

Oh, shit. No way did he just say that. I'll teach this wimpy skinny bitch a lesson.

Right when I was sure to kick Kyle's flat ass, Mr. Garrison marched in. Grr, why does he always come in at these inconvenient times?

"Okay class, stop your pitiful fighting for two seconds and listen. We're all going on the field trip to the concert today, so-"

"Oh, you mean the gay ass trip to see a lame christian rock band?" Clyde shouted from behind. Clyde had become noticeably more outspoken than he used to be, he tries to be funny, but to me he comes off as more of a nosy asshole. Not to mention I was pretty pissed that I had completely forgotten about the whole damn field trip anyway.

"Yes, I mean the gay-ass trip to the stupid christian band! Believe me, I think it's stupid that they're forcing us to listen to some wimpy christian rock, but we all have to go on this trip so shut up and lets get to the buses!" Mr. Garrison shouted impatiently. Damn, someones in a bad mood.

"Oh, and by the way, everyone must choose a partner because we "don't want anyone getting trampled to death" or something. You may all choose your own partners, except for Eric, since he is a trouble-making ass licker, he has been randomly partnered with Butters."

"Ey!" I shouted. "No way am I having to hold hands with that butt-pirate again!"

"We don't have to hold hands anymore, shit head. That was in fourth grade. It's interesting that thats the first thing you thought of though fatass." Kyle said behind a winking smirk. Damnit! Little jew rat trying to poke around and over-analyze my thoughts. That is sorta strange that that was the first thing that went through my mind, though...

"We- your a- umm.. Just shut your god damn ginger mouth!" Fuck! I totally failed at that comeback. Thats hella lame.

"Haha, your such a stupid little twat Cartman." Stan said. Oh Jesus, when is Stan ever going to fess up to being hot for Kyle? It's so obvious that those two get faggy with eachother every night. Gross.

"Eh, shut up you little douche. Stop defending your stupid boyfriend, it gets pretty damn annoying."

Oddly enough neither one of them musters a comeback, and is that Kyle blushing? Oh shit, I may have been more accurate with my statement of their faggotry than I thought. Creepy...

"Whell, Hey there Eric! Looks like were field trip buddies again!" Butters came up to me, smiling at first but then getting a weird look on his face, like he was remembering something painful. Huh, I thought Butters couldn't really feel pain. Oh well.

Hey y'all, Im gonna leave this chapter here, because I've been busy sorta and I reallly dont wanna leave you guys hanging for so long. So, this isn't a whole chapter, but it's something for you to knaw upon while you wait for the rest at least :)