Contains AU, however; some themes carry over from the original work. I do not own any of these characters; I am just borrowing them.

"I don't like being like this," I said flustered, pacing the room and throwing my hands around spastically from time to time. "Do you know that?" I said abruptly, spinning on the ball of my foot to glare at Edward.

It was true, I honestly loathed being like this; I hated being so angry and vengeful all the time, but what could I do, this is who I was now. Times weren't always like this, in fact, once upon a time, I used to be, and dare I say it, pleasant! Compared to who I am now, I was little Miss sunshine back in those days. Oh well, it only frustrates me further to remember the "good old days."

I wouldn't say that I was currently unsatisfied with my life, I mean, the elements surrounding me are awesome, it's just, the problem with my life is me. I'm aware that I'm difficult to deal with, it's just, I have a hard time controlling my emotions, especially anger, and although I try, I don't know how to deal with it.

Edward tells me that I have been doing better, and assures me that my attitude problem isn't entirely my fault. I know that most of my volatile behavior stems from the changes my hormones underwent during my transformation.

Although I wish I could blame my attitude entirely on that, I can't; there are other things, things that I dwell on that make me crazy.

"I know…" he said softly, "I don't like it either, but it's getting better."

I was sick of hearing that it was getting better, so I glared at him harder. "When will it just not be at all?" I asked, frustrated that I couldn't control my own frustration.

"I don't know," he said simply, staring at the floor.

At that point, I had calmed down enough to at least sit down next to him on the powder blue sofa. I wasn't quite relaxed enough to lean back on one of the plush chocolate brown throw-pillows, so I sat as far on the edge as I could, slouching over with my elbows on my knees.

"Relax, you can lean back, it's not like I'm going to bite you," he said, not realizing the irony in his words, or maybe he did.

"I wish you would," I said darkly, "if you killed me then you wouldn't have to deal with me anymore, and no one else would either."

"That's enough," he spat, his earlier calmness disappearing faster then he or I could run. "The only one making yourself so miserable is you," he said quietly, but I could still hear the hint of annoyance in his tone. "Besides, I can't, it's against the rules, remember?" he added dryly.

"You just don't understand!" I said instantly on the defensive.

"I never said I understood, but how can I if you wont tell me," he replied, trying to stay calm.

"Why don't you just read my thoughts then, your so good at that!" I said, not able to look him in the eye.

"You know I refrain from doing that!" he spat, a little louder this time. "I want you to tell me what you want to tell me, I don't want you to keep anything from me, but if you do, that's your choice. I'm not going to try to ruin our relationship by reading your thoughts, that never turns out well." As he spoke the final sentence, he drew his face so close to mine that our noses almost touched.

"Fine," I said, as I closed my eyelids and leaned my forehead against his cool one. I was mentally exhausted from the events of the day and from thinking so much. "I'm tired," I told him, yawing involuntarily.

"Me too," he said with a chuckle, "well at least, if I could be tired, I know I would be right now."

He then grabbed one of the pillows and put it on his lap intending for me to lie on it, which I did willingly. But as I lay there staring at the ceiling, my thoughts were relentless, refusing to let me rest. I replayed the days events over and over in my head, trying to pinpoint the exact one that brought me to the boiling point, and what I could have done to stop myself from going to far.

The last thing I thought before I drifted into a fitful afternoon nap was that things weren't always as bad as they were on this day. In fact, this day was one of the worst that I could remember in recent time. I knew then that I did not want to have any more days even close to this one, so I began to formulate a plan to make sure things never got to this point again.