Disclaimer: I do not own anything in the Twilight saga; if I did, I wouldn't be writing here, but publishing yet more books....

The sleek silver Volvo streaked across the Dartmouth parking lot and made a beeline for the empty parking space just next to the stunning yellow Porsche. I hit the brake just in time, parking the car precisely in the slot, and marvelling how my control over it seemed to have exponentially improved. I shoved myself out the car, shaking my head at Alice, the Porsche owner. You really had to have some nerve to show up at College driving that thing.

I pulled my leather jacket tighter around me, and cast a sour glance skyward, at the thickening clouds which promised nothing but rain in the coming hours. In fact, I made it across the lawn and inside the building before the first droplets announced the beginning to what was sure to be a lengthy thunderstorm. I reached class a couple of minutes late, but by some stroke of luck, the lecturer who took the class had just arrived himself and was in the process of shuffling papers on his desk, as I entered the classroom in a whirlwind.

International law session ticked by slowly, and an hour later found me headed to the library to attempt finishing the paper I had to write on Aristotelian ethics, before I headed to my next class – double session criminal law.

I soon found the research book I had been looking for, and luckily spotted Alice and Jasper seated at a desk in the posh library, close to each other, Alice leaning against her husband as she wrote.

My face broke into a fond smile, as I approached what you could call practically my family, and for the first time that day I found myself relaxing. Being late always skyrocketed my stress levels, I guess I was just lucky I had these two to chill me out; one of them quite literally.

"Hey," I told them as I settled on the same table. I stared at Alice somewhat incredulously, as I took in her new Dolce and Gabbana specs perched on her nose.

"Why are you wearing glasses?"

This was a first. I never thought that perfect vampire vision would ever feel the need to resort to corrective specs.

My pixie-like sister looked up at me shrewdly and grinned.

"It helps to blend in," she winked.

I gave a derisive snort.

So she waltzed in with her movie-star of a husband, looking a hundred times more stunning than any model on any runway would ever hope to, wearing clothes which seemed to be just out of the latest vogue (which probably were, anyway) and showed up every morning driving that Porsche probably better than a race-car driver.

And she wanted to blend in.

Sure.

She looked smugly at me and pointed out her tongue.

I laughed at her. You really had to love her. Even though at times, she exasperated me to no end, with her constant attacks on my hair and forcing clothes and make up on me.

But I loved her, her husband and the rest of the family, like they were my own. I was one of them. Even if I was still only human.

I soon settled down with philosophy and after a while of huffing, page turning, frowning and writing, I noticed her eyes studying me.

I looked up, to meet her gaze, only to find her looking at me like that again. This behaviour had been going on for a while now and had started to not only increase my suspicions, but was about to drive me insane. And it didn't help that Jasper chose precisely that moment to give me an identical expression.

"What?" I huffed impatiently as I stared back almost indignantly.

Jasper excused himself, muttering something about needing to go look for a book. Alice arranged her features carefully into innocent inquisitiveness.

"What is it, Bella?"

"Why are you both looking at me like that?"

She didn't let up.

"Like what?"

"I don't know, like doubtful; like you don't know whether to be happy, excited, worried about me, or that you think I might just sprout another head or something," I trailed off, still looking at her.

She shrugged, but I could tell she was hiding a smile.

"It's nothing," she said, going back to her notepad.

"It wouldn't be nothing, since you have been ogling me for like days now. I'm beginning to feel guilty, without actually knowing what I did."

She laughed her melodious tinkling laugh.

"Well?" I pressed.

Her only response was a maddening knowing look on her face.

I stared at her for a couple of seconds when it finally hit me.

"Oh, wait," I began, "you've Seen something, haven't you?"

"Well, you have always been so perceptive, so I guess I can tell you this: yes I've seen something, but that's all you're getting from me."

"Oh? And is it a good vision, or a bad vision? You can actually tell me right, if I'm about to be sucked dry by a couple of deranged vampires?"

"Well I t doesn't really have any danger element in it, though I wouldn't know whether to consider it good."

"So it involves me? Why can't you just tell me?"

"Because, I might change the course the future is taking, and I'm not sure I want to do that."

"Wait," I stopped her, feeling somewhat confused. "So you're not sure if it's a good thing, and yet, you don't want to change the course of the future?"

"Well, I just want to see it played out as it should. If I interfere I may do more harm than good. Don't worry Bella, I've told no one and you will find out sooner or later."

I stared at her.

"But Jasper knows, right?"

"Jasper also has his own ways of seeing things," she replied, defensively.

"So it involves emotional stuff, then." It wasn't a question, more like a silent musing.

Alice shrugged mysteriously and I knew it was close enough, in fact.

I returned to my essay, but by now my concentration was diverted entirely to this new puzzle. So Alice had seen something, and Jasper was in on it but by his usual curious way of reading the emotions of those around him. So probably he read something in me, which corroborated Alice's vision. I had no idea what feeling I may have felt lately which held such singular Implications.

I shrugged mentally, just as Jasper, who had returned quietly to the table, announced that it was time for me to leave for my next lecture. They had another hour in the library.

The vision was pushed to the back of my mind as I tried to concentrate, and it soon disappeared from conscious thought as I went about my day. I knew my mind was still working on it, trying to find an explanation which fit the bill. I could get like this at times, so stubborn and relentless, and I knew I probably was not going to relax until I found out. Whether I figured it out myself, or coaxed it out in some way out of Alice. Which was not probable, anyhow.

The storm had thankfully, let up a little, and there were specks of glittering sunlight on the Volvos windshield. The drive home was unexpectedly short. Sure, my mind was preoccupied these days with all sorts of problems that it was almost like my car drove itself back to our recently renovated luxurious home, on the outskirts. Incidentally as I turned into our road, I glimpsed the shiny executive Mercedes, pulling into the drive and my breath habitually caught in my throat.

It was the guaranteed and expected reaction, whenever he was around. Carlisle had always commanded my greatest respect and was full of admiration toward him. We had grown to be the best of friends and each other's shelter. I had come to love him like an older brother, respect him like the great leader he was, revel in his wisdom and admire his profound compassion. However lately, the vast array of feelings I was able to feel for the devastatingly handsome doctor, had now taken a new turn, to my everlasting embarrassment. To be exact, I was starting to become aware that I had actually been accumulating these feelings for a while now. I remember being instantly attracted to him from the very first day I met him in the ER. And however much I tried to tamp it down furiously, knowing that a relationship between us was practically unthinkable, I knew that feeling this way toward him, when he was a vampire was no option. For there was no way I could disguise the tell tale sign of increased pulse rate, and the rush of blood to my cheeks whenever he flashed me the tiniest of smiles or winked. I shuddered at thought of him getting an idea of what was going on in my mind. Even if he couldn't read minds like Edward used to, vampires have an acute sense of perception a thousand times sharper than was human.

I chided myself at my pathetic school-girl crush, as I parked my car in its usual spot and watched him come out of his Mercedes. He grinned at me as he fetched out his black doctor's bag from the passenger door.

It wasn't that I was trying to avoid him or anything, which is what I would actually do, had I not been so close to Carlisle. The fact was that almost every evening, sometimes late into the night when I couldn't sleep, would find us in his study in the window seat or at his desk talking about everything and nothing; and it was those moments where I felt truly whole again, and that what I was doing was actually the right thing.

I felt at home.

For I was serving purpose by talking to him and keeping him company, just as much as he was doing me a favour by talking to me.

So why was it suddenly so different? You'd think that after all those long months, well years, of close friendship we had together, I wouldn't tense up and feel so ridiculously self conscious as he looked deep into my eyes and smiled.

You'd think I'd be used to his god-like beauty and perfection in every aspect, by now.

But instead it was as if I was discovering it all over again.

As I made my way upstairs, having shared small conversation with him on our way in, realization hit me with the force of a battering ram. I froze dead in my tracks my hand stiff on the doorknob to my room.

Feeling conscious of the empty hall behind me, and that he probably could make out my sudden erratic breathing, even from downstairs, I swung the door open abruptly and went inside clumsily, slamming the door shut.

Alice.

That explains it. She saw something in my future which somehow involved Carlisle. That explained how Jasper could contribute to the story because he probably felt the conflict raging inside me.

Heat swarmed around my body as I rested my head against the door, my hand still fisted around the doorknob and stared unseeingly at my room, trying to recall her exact words from this morning, at the library.

Well I t doesn't really have any danger element in it, though I wouldn't know whether to consider it good…

So she probably was as shocked as I am when she discovered that I was lusting after a man they all considered a father figure.

Suddenly I felt sick to the stomach.

What the hell is the matter with you Bella?

It was true he was only twenty three, just barely two years older than me, but it was not the maturity which was keeping me at bay. It was that this man was the embodiment of perfection to my mind, and that he was a family man, a coven leader, a compassionate doctor, and an inspirational mind. Someone who, in short, deserved so much better than a person like me. This apart from the inherent problem that he was also a father figure to the late love of my life, Edward. How could I have possibly developed such a crush on a person which was originally meant to be my father in law? The fact that he wasn't Edward's biological father meant little difference.

I had to get out of here. Go somewhere for a long time. I felt unworthy to be with them, it felt like after all they had done for me, I was overstaying my welcome by desiring the one thing that could never be mine. Suddenly I felt like a very selfish person.

"Bella?"

He was calling me.

I was still resting against the door, shell-shocked at this new revelation.

"Bella? You there?"

I cracked the door open.

"Uh, yeah I'm up here!"

I cringed at how false my voice sounded just then.

"Would you like something for dinner? I can fix you something."

"Oh! It's ok, I got it thanks!"

"Sure? I have free time on my hands."

"I'll deal with it, thanks anyways."

"Sure, no problem."

Actually, I wasn't even sure if I was hungry or not. What mattered at the moment was that I had to steer clear of Carlisle until I pulled myself together at the very least. Perhaps all those talking sessions had better stop after all. I was sure that it would never feel the same with him now. I literally growled as I shrugged out of my jacket and flung it across the room, only for it to land on the edge of the bed.

Ugh.

Trust me to go and screw up everything. I couldn't even trust myself to play it down, I was a terrible actress. With that in mind, I took a hot shower, washing away the day and trying albeit unsuccessfully to relieve the tension in my muscles. I put on my favourite grey sweatpants and white t shirt, pulled up my hair into a messy ponytail and settled down with my laptop to look for study programs which Dartmouth was offering abroad.

That was that. He was downstairs with free time on his hands. Deep down, I knew that had matters been 'normal' I would have gone down to him to keep him company, which would have been the polite thing to do, but I was too much of a coward. I just couldn't embarrass myself that way.

Yeah, I was being childish.

But I just needed to think.

Ok, I should probably tell him at least that I'm busy with something.

I went to the door, opened it a fraction of an inch (almost as if I was afraid he'd come in if I opened it all the way) and called him in normal speaking volume, not needing to raise my voice.

"Um, Carlisle?"

"Yes?" he called back softly.

"Uh, just to tell you that I have to work on a Philosophy paper, um, I'll be in my room if you need something."

"Sure," he called back from the base of the staircase.

It was true that I absolutely had to finish that damned ethics paper, since I had made minimal progress this morning in the library, and whilst I originally had no intention whatsoever, to work on it, the moment the words came out of my mouth, it immediately sounded like an excellent idea.

Nothing quite like complicated thought to get your mind off things.

How ironic was that.

And so, to my relief, I found myself absorbed in my work, seated at my desk with my legs curled under me, my headphones plugged in listening to music, and vaguely aware of the thunderstorm which had picked up again outside, the rain pattering insistently against my window.

So the sudden soft knocking at my door gave me quite a start.

Uh oh.

In the split second I hesitated, Alice's voice came through.

"Bella?"

"Oh, hi Alice, come on in!"

I probably sounded more relieved than the occasion warranted.

The door opened softly and she ghosted in.

She was instantly seated on the bed just next to my desk, looking at me with a sceptical expression on her face.

I longed to tell her everything I had realized, but at the same time quite terrified at admitting anything. Saying aloud that I had a crush on Carlisle would make the matter more realistic, would finalize the issue and would somehow make it more insurmountable. Not a good idea if I hoped to fight it down.

However, the knowing look on Alice's face told me that she had probably already seen what I had been brooding upon in my room; and this open secret stuff was starting to annoy me.

"Do you want to talk about it?" her wind-chime voice said softly.

I took a look at her, my face probably betraying a guilty conscience.

Her eyes were filled with concern, but at the same time there was something else as well-understanding, perhaps? There was also slight amusement, which could be identified with the twinkle which lit up her beautiful face.

"Look, I don't know what it is exactly you saw, nor do I want to find out, but Alice you have to know that anything of the sort cannot happen."

I said this in a rush, not taking my eyes off the essay I was writing.

Her silence made me look up however.

She was studiously concentrating, a look of puzzled bemusement on her face.

"Why not?"

Wait, what?

I sighed deeply.

"Ok, why don't you start exactly with your vision? Not that I would want to know, but I want to make sure we're on the same wavelength here."

She looked hesitant.

"Oh come on, how bad can it be?"

I sounded like I was trying to talk myself into putting my mind at rest. I wanted her to say that it was nothing really; nothing to worry about, and that everything could change easily.

"I'm not going to give you any details, but I know you have figured out that it involves you and Carlisle…in a relationship."

I closed my eyes. Though it certainly was no news to me, it made me shudder inwardly.

"Don't go," went on Alice.

"What?" I replied, confused.

"You're planning to go away somewhere," she said frowning. "Don't."

I swivelled my chair around to face her, trying not to look too exasperated at her.

"And why not? I need to spend some time away to collect my thoughts. He is totally out of my league! Look, please don't tell me you agree with this or something! I feel like…ugh a pervert for crying out loud!"

"He needs you."

"Well, he needs a friend, certainly! I know I do too. And this is what I hate about all this! Here I was, happy that I found a person with whom I can talk and to whom I could listen for any length of time, happy that he actually trusted me enough to get a load off his chest, and I had to go and ruin everything with my stupid feelings! I can't deceive him, Alice!"

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

I probably looked bewildered.

"What might that be?"

"His feelings."

"Please be more specific."

"All you seem to account for is how you feel about all this; you keep beating yourself up over just your perspective. Don't you want to know what he thinks? Don't you think that maybe, he might reciprocate what you feel for him?"

Alice had a mysterious look in her eyes.

I was literally dumbfounded, and stared at her for a full 10 seconds.

"What?" I finally murmured, incredulously. "No, that's Impossible! I mean, how can I possibly compare next to him? Hell, I even felt out of place with Edward, let alone with Carlisle! More than that, what can I possibly have to offer him? It's one thing to be a shoulder to cry on, but quite another to be in that kind of a relationship!"

But Alice was shaking her head.

"You're overanalysing, Bella! You keep thinking what he's thinking, but all you have to do is leave it up to him! How can you guess what he thinks of you?"

This rendered me quite speechless for a few seconds.

I gaped.

"Because, because, I don't know!" I stammered. "I guess, I see us as an unlikely pair."

"Look," she said. "I'm not asking you to do anything. In fact, I'm just telling you to go about your business as usual. Let things run their own course. You see? Just by knowing of my vision has already ruined the matter as it is! You know my visions are very subjective anyways. Don't put too much weight to them. Bella, I don't want you to start avoiding him, just because you think you're not worthy of him. We've told you time and time again. You see, if I hadn't said anything this morning, right now you would be down there talking to him!" she finished dramatically, pointing her hand toward to door to indicate Carlisle's general direction.

"Alice, are you telling me it doesn't bother you to see me and him together? Like together, together?" I was quite amazed at her reaction.

Alice only looked bewildered.

"Why should it bother me?" she sounded mystified.

"Well, obviously because, because he's…. Carlisle! He's your father figure! I'm supposed to look like a daughter to him, or something! I know you're not actually related and he's not that much older than me, but it's so unconventional, it doesn't feel right!"

"So you're worried because it's unconventional? Tell me something, what part of our family is conventional?"

I was speechless again. I had to admit she had a point there. It was not every day you came across a coven of vegetarian vampires, who wished humans the best of health, and who lived together as a family for better or for worse, with millions of dollars to their name.

"I think it would be pretty selfish of you if you stopped being a friend to him, because of your insecurities," she went on, sending me even deeper into my uncomfortable silence.

"Well, I was trying to rebut my insecurities. It's just that, now that I'm aware where all this could end up, I'm not sure of it anymore."

Alice gave me a piercing look.

"Just tell me this," she began "do you like him?"

"What's not to like? He's…he's perfect you know? That's the whole problem."

"I think we both know that it's not his perfection which is deterring you."

"You're right; it's my total unworthiness and incapability to match up to him."

Alice sighed in exasperation.

"You're Impossible! I think you know that the only reason you're doing this is because you're too nervous to face it! Besides, if you two do get together, you will soon become one of us and will be as 'capable' as any of us, as you so delicately put it."

"Aargh," I groaned in frustration.

I just knew she was right. I suddenly felt overwhelmed with all the information, and felt the inexplicable need to sleep. Perhaps it was now the processing phase. The data was all entered and now it was my mind's turn to process it.

I sighed, resting my head on the palm of my head and staring unfocused at the screensaver playing out on my laptop screen.

"Look, I'll just sleep on it tonight. I know I'll feel better by morning. "

Alice swiftly came to me and hugged me tightly.

"Listen; don't worry too much about it. You know how my visions work. This could be nothing at all, just because I've seen it doesn't guarantee that it's going to happen. It will only happen if you want it to, Bella."

I nodded tiredly, appreciating the soothing effect of the Implication of Alice's words.

I glanced at the time, realizing that my stomach had been growling for the past few minutes. I was not sure I wanted to see him just yet however. Who knows what klutziness might present itself, in his presence, especially in this state of mind?

"Uh, Alice, do you feel like going somewhere with me? I just need to get out of the house for a while, get some dinner."

Her face brightened up and she gave me one of her mischievous smiles.

"Let's get out of here," she said and breezed to my closet, yanking the door open and going inside.

I groaned loudly, in protest.

"Let's not make it a fashion show, shall we?"

Alice popped her head out and looked at me innocently.

"What fashion show? I was merely picking out your change of clothes…here."

She threw three pieces at me: my newest boot-cut jeans, and charcoal twin-set. She danced back in and came out with a black knit scarf and shiny black Christian Louboutin stilettos.

"Then you could put on this morning's leather jacket. I love it on you."

With that, she hurried right out of the room and into hers, opposite the hall, before I could open my mouth to argue.

The look was in my style of course, but a bit over the top, considering that I just wanted to go out in jacket and sweat pants and sneakers and head to the nearest take-away.

Apparently, my Imp of a sister had other plans in mind.

Half an hour later we were both dressed up, Alice in a navy blue jacket, jeans which were a tad lighter shade than mine and black high heeled boots, our hair done, and I had to subject myself to some light make up.

Knowing we had to inform Carlisle of our plans, I felt a bit hesitant, not to mention nervous, as we walked down stairs. He was seated in the living room with Rosalie, both reading, but instantly flashed us that heartbreaking smile as he watched us come downstairs. I tried not to think of myself falling flat on my face in a trademark moment of clumsiness. Although, I was quite proud of myself that I had grown out of such absurd habits. His eyes lingered somewhat in our general direction.

"Off to somewhere?" he asked.

I wasn't sure if he addressed me.

Alice however came to my rescue.

"I'm taking Bella out for some dinner, Carlisle. I'll keep her safe!"

I inwardly rolled my eyes.

Altogether it was a pleasant evening with Alice, after having had delicious Italian dinner, and visited an Irish pub downtown, then taken a long drive during which my mind lapsed back on to the matter which so far had been successfully driven out my conscious thoughts.

I snuggled down more comfortably in the Porsche's front seat and closed my eyes, resting my head back. Images of Carlisle swam involuntarily across my head; namely when he gave me my favourite smile, that twinkle in his eye, and the curve of his mouth and a flash of white teeth.

He doesn't even know how awesomely gorgeous he is.

Of course, that fact alone made him if possible, even more alluring. It was like he thought absolutely nothing of his good looks, and just looking like that was just second nature to him. He wasn't even aware of how he took any female's breath away just by being in the same room.

Sometimes I literally had to pinch myself to rouse myself from these feelings. This was Carlisle I was fantasizing about!

Why, WHY was I realizing all this now? It's not like it's the first time I'm seeing him, for heaven's sake! But it really did seem like it was the first time, every time I laid eyes on him. I could never get enough of looking at him.

The funny thing was that at the moment, in Alice's car being away from him, made me feel weird. I couldn't exactly put my finger on it, but the more I felt it the more I became aware what it was: loneliness. It was as if he made me feel whole with him being in my mere vicinity.

888

(ONE WEEK LATER)

Chatting with my mother was often hilarious. It was funny how a measly hour sharing our escapades of the day, had the power to alter my mood quite significantly. The things she could get into! At the moment she was travelling around the country again with Phil, apparently things were going excellent between them; I never really knew my mother could be this content. She was always so dedicated towards keeping a house for me, decorating it and fussing about it, barely caring about herself. But Phil, and the fact that I was at an Ivy League college, being taken care of by a family who loved me like practically their own, gave her more time on her hands and she seemed alight with happiness. Something which delighted me to no end. My mother's moods whatever they were always influenced my own. Almost like I was some sort of antenna picking up her mood changes every now and then.

I couldn't keep finding excuses to not visit Carlisle in his study in the evenings. It wasn't as if we had fixed appointments to meet up, but I knew he looked forward to our conversations, to spending time talking about anything and everything. Though the first two days, I spent as a nervous wreck, I knew I had to embrace reality and just act normal, otherwise he was going to start to suspect something.

I had more or less gotten over my tension at my feelings for him. Though they were stubbornly there, simmering just below the surface, I was very glad to find that I was able to actually talk to Carlisle without blushing a delicate shade of red.

Possibly also with a bland expression on my face which quite probably made me look like I had been clubbed on the head.

But it didn't matter. At least I was capable of coherent conversation, speaking of which, I was lately starting to discuss with him the most complicated of matters, which had the main purpose of distracting me from having less than innocent thoughts about the incredibly sexy doctor who strangely enough, seemed to enjoy nothing more than spending time with me, whatever I talked about really.

Hmm, that's what infinite time on your hands did to you.

Tonight found us in his study once again, and the subject towards which I steered the discussion was whether psychology as devised for humans worked also for vampires. I really didn't know where I was coming up with all these complicated issues, but they managed to serve the underlying purpose. It was, nevertheless an insanely interesting subject, and I listened avidly as Carlisle expressed his views and explained carefully everything he knew.

"It differs on certain counts," he was saying, as I was seated at his window seat, watching him speak as he lounged casually on an armchair. It was late and I had no signs of sleep whatsoever. And it looked like none were coming, since my mind was so busy trying to preoccupy myself sufficiently in what he was saying and trying not to think along the lines of how sexy he looked in a navy Lacoste polo-shirt.

"Mostly it centers on the fact that humans have different motivations than vampire kind, even if such motivations are still present in our kind."

"Mhm," I mumbled thoughtfully. "You mean bloodlust?"

"Well yes, that changes things," he said, sounding almost apologetic. He stopped talking and fixed his eyes on me.

I nodded thoughtfully.

"So, what primarily motivates human beings? I remember reading in political philosophy last year that, there is this line of thought coined by Herbert Spencer… uh, "survival of the fittest", which signifies the aggression which is inherent in every human…basically it leads to the belief that human kind is essentially individualistic," I paused, "selfish".

Carlisle was raptly listening, concentrating on what I was saying. It was one of the things which never failed to fascinate me about him. In all probability, what I was saying was nothing new to him, but it was his demeanour, his utter politeness and gentleman attitude which really weakened my core to jelly. The fact that he made me feel Important enough to hold his undivided attention.

To my everlasting chagrin, my cheeks flushed.

Idiot.

"Well, that is only one of the ways of putting it, just one theory. It's really there to explain, or justify the right hand of the spectrum of politics, you know? As against socialism. But there are other thinkers, such as Freud for instance who believed that man's primary motivation is his sexual desire."

"Ah," I said this not being new to me, "well that is totally bogus of course. I mean, everyday decisions we make are not really motivated by our desire for sex, are they?"

Well, of all the places this discussion could have gone.

Carlisle gave a twisted smile.

"Well I agree that it's not that extreme, no," he said, thoughtfully analysing me. "But to an extent, I agree that some decisions at least, some core aspects in the mind, which we are not aware of, are motivated in that way."

"Human kind only? Hmm, I wonder what Freud would have made of your kind," I said, returning his smile and hoping it did not look nervous.

He chuckled handsomely.

"I'd say the same thing. Once you have satisfied the bloodlust, the next in line would really be carnal lust."

"It's hard to satisfy you people," I said, shaking my head.

He laughed his velvety, smooth laugh.

Oh dear, what this man could do to me.

The room fell into a silence which was decidedly not so comfortable.

So I yawned softly.

Carlisle checked the watch on the mantelpiece, and I copied the gesture, only to realize that it was past midnight and had to be up early tomorrow to be at college.

"I should turn in," I began.

Excellent timing really. I didn't like that he was looking at me or rather, through me in a speculative sort of look. I watched as he smoothed his wavy blond hair back with his hand twice, his thoughts clearly not in the room.

He looked so young like this, when he was wearing this casual attire of polo shirt, denims and a pair of Lumberjack shoes. In truth, he was a young man but with the responsibilities of an insanely rich fully mature surgeon who had spent the best part of three and a half centuries saving lives in the ER and the last century raising a pack of teenagers, not to mention all his vampire heritage through the ages. It didn't fit in with the appearance of a gorgeous blond god, with a perfect sculpted body and with excellent dress taste, who looked only a year older than me. Perhaps the only thing which linked him to his extraordinary identity was his silver ring on his left hand bearing the Cullen crest.

I was content like this, just looking at him. And I wasn't just feasting my eyes, I was fully appreciating this man, marvelling at how lucky I was to have found such a precious friend – lucky to even know him at all…

As I rose quietly from my seat, he rose with me and approached me.

"Bella," he began, in his smooth honey-like voice which alone, dazzled me. "If there is anything on your mind, anything at all which you would like to get off your chest, I'm here, so feel free to express it."

His eyes seemed to pierce mine with an intensity which alone was intended to pass on this message.

It was funny, since this made me realize I had been thinking about the same thing for him. The fact was that I hated to see him worried about anything, and wanted to be a comfort to him. However oddly enough, I found myself too preoccupied by other thoughts to ask him what was on his mind.

"Yeah, thanks," I calmly stated, softly. "You too, I mean, if I can help you with anything, just tell me."

But it was the look we were giving each other which spoke of what really was going on in our minds. I still refused to believe that his thoughts were anywhere near what Alice implied last week. But at the moment as I was looking deep into his butterscotch eyes and he looking deeply in mine, in a way which always made my skin erupt in gooseflesh since the first time I saw him, I really felt like nothing could come between what he and I had together, whatever you could call our relationship. It was like we depended on each other, even if all I was was a weak human.

I didn't really expect him to come over and hug me. But nothing would have prepared me for what I felt just then. It was like I was like a copper wire that had just been connected to a battery and a jolt of electric charge whizzed through. In my bones I realized that this embrace was not strictly platonic, even if to the outsider it looked like that. His hands were pressed to my back, one in the middle and the other at the small of my back, and his cool, smooth face against my cheek. I felt a very subtle cool breeze at my neck and I realized he was breathing in my scent. My arms were around his neck, holding him close. I was itching to explore his shoulders, and travel down his arms, but the jolt of electricity fixed me, unmoving, to him. My very skin seemed to vibrate.

Despite the tension, I felt completely malleable to his touch. Even if what he was doing was nerve-wracking at that point, it just felt so - good. And he smelled so enticing, it made me quite heady – a scent which was somewhat spicy, with a hint of peppermint (and cinnamon perhaps?), but there was also a trace of medical antiseptic. It was so sophisticated, so - him.

And this was just one simple hug.

It was a completely innocent gesture, yet so full of meaning, that I felt a stinging in the corner of my eyes and an uncomfortable lump rose to my throat.

My mind was screaming all sorts of warnings at me.

I shouldn't think like this!

It wasn't like we were doing anything wrong, but it seemed like there was the passing of too much information from this simple gesture of – friendship? That word somehow didn't cover it. Familial love? Nah.

There was much, more to it.

Suffice it to say, its power scared me.

That night heralded the official beginning of a series of dreams. Any original plans of getting into bed and sleeping soundly till morning, evaporated quicker than Alice on a roll with her Porsche.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Thanks for reading. This is my first story, and an attempt to ship Bella and Carlisle, so please be kind! I am not sure I would continue the story, and that depends on you reviewers. So if you think that the story lacks potential and that I should stop, please tell me, but if you like it let me know ;)

Constructive criticism is very much appreciated, but please don't flame for no reason, its really quite pointless to do so.

About the Characters:

I really like the Carlisle as portrayed in the movies ;;)). However, for the purposes of this story I am using Bella as portrayed in the book, the reason being that somehow I found Bella's character as in the movies rather different that how Stephenie Meyer wrote her, and I am more inclined to the Bella in the book. The reason I chose to ship Bella and Carlisle, is that I identify alot with Bella's character, so I'm comfident writing from her perspective; and that Carlisle is my favourite character, along with Edward.

Sooo...tell me what you think! ;)