Chapter Fifteen

"Alyssa?" Ivy stepped tentatively inside my room, her wet hair wrapped in a pale pink towel-turban and her body wrapped in a darker pink towel, revealing her slim tanned shoulders. "Are you awake?"

Resisting the urge to groan, I rolled over onto my side, propping my head up on my hands to make eye contact with her. "What is it, Ives?"

"Just… checking in." She took a few more steps into the room, still keeping a reasonable distance between the two of us. "Are you feeling okay, sweetie?"

"A little tired, maybe, and I can feel a bit of a headache coming on, but nothing unusual." I had to force myself to keep any hint of sarcasm or disdain out of my voice; this was Ivy, after all – sweet, unassuming, empathetic Ivy – and she could only mean well. All the same, it did get annoying having my friends constantly checking in on me all the time.

Not that I could really blame them for being concerned. In the weeks since Miriam's betrayal and subsequent disappearance, I'd slowly started withdrawing from the social scene, preferring to spend most of my time curled up in bed thinking. My appetite had diminished, and I had trouble sleeping – every time I closed my eyes, I saw Miriam or Taylor (and sometimes both), taunting me, tormenting me.

Mel dragged me to Nurse Ophelia a couple weeks ago, and insisted she check if there was something medically wrong with me. But all Ophelia said was that it was most likely just residual shock, and there was nothing she could do – that it would wear off on its own, given the right amount of time. After that, the girls had ramped up their efforts to make me feel comfortable and happy – weekly movie nights, baking cookies, trips to Magix, pots of Ivy's special aromagictherapy teas…

Nothing worked. Sure, I could see how depressed it made them feel that I was acting like this, and so I tried to make an effort to smile a little more when they were around, but it was only for show. Inside, I still felt hollow and numb, like I had ever since finishing reading Miriam's letter. Deep down, I wondered if I'd ever feel normal again, or if this change in me would be permanent.

Ivy hovered awkwardly in the space between my bed and the door. "Was there something else you wanted?" I asked finally.

Her eyes flickered briefly to my navy yoga pants and wrinkled white tee with a colorful graphic-print design of a wave on it (a gift from Aqua), then back to my eyes. "Um… nothing," she said finally. "Just wanted to make sure you were alright."

"Well, I'm fine." I forced a smile for her benefit. "You got a date tonight or something?" I asked, gesturing to her towels – more to be polite than out of any genuine interest.

Her eyebrows briefly shot up, but just as quickly her face was composed again. "Uh… something like that." She blushed, turning on her heel and heading back towards the door.

Weird… I thought, returning to my book.

Not even ten minutes later, the door opened again, and Mel bounced into my room (apparently having forgotten her manners – no knock). "Alyssa!" she exclaimed, bounding over to my bedside and yanking at my hands, causing me to totally lose my place in the book. "What are you doing still in your sweats?"

"Uh… having a quiet night in with my book?" I stared at her incredulously, noticing that her blue eyes were shadowed with silver and lined with thick black eyeliner, her lips filled in a glossy deep rose, and her pale skin shimmering with a luminescent sparkle. Her long dark hair was parted down the middle and pulled up in her signature high pigtails, and diamond studs sparkled from her earlobes. "What are you doing tonight? And why do you look so fancy?"

She stepped back and twirled a bit, allowing me to take in her short black sequined V-neck halter dress. It had an open back, showing off more of Mel's perfect porcelain skin, and there were several inches' worth of black feathers trimming the hem. Stylish without being too trendy, glamorous without being over-the-top, a touch old-school, and a little bit out there – very Mel. "Isn't it lovely?" she cooed, twisting so the feathers tickled her legs. "I couldn't believe my luck when I found it last weekend. And just in the nick of time, too."

"Mel, where are you going tonight?" I repeated, staring daggers at her. I'd never known my level-headed, music-obsessed tomboy friend to act so… girly, over a dress. She sounded like Lola.

Her jaw dropped. "To the end of the year dance, silly! And why aren't you getting ready?"

This time, I didn't resist the urge to groan, and slumped backwards onto my pillow. "Ugh… Mel, I'm really not up for it this year. I think I'm just going to stay here." The idea of putting on a dress and heels and going out to party right now did not sound appealing. Besides just not being in the mood at all, there was a good chance I'd be forced to confront some demons, which was the last thing on my mind right now. I rolled over onto my stomach and buried my face in the pillow, closing my eyes as if to block out the very thought of the dance.

"Oh no you're not, missy." A new voice joined the conversation – Lola. I'd barely inhaled a whiff of her sugary-sweet perfume when a hand grabbed my shoulder and yanked me up backwards, out of the pillow. I looked up to see Lola staring daggers at me. Her dress was deep purple and one-shouldered, with a short layered ruffled taffeta skirt, and she'd paired it with the crystal-covered stilettos she'd worn to my party. A diamond tennis bracelet was clasped around her skinny wrist, and her hands were on her hips in a very dictatorial fashion. "You are going to the dance."

"Lo-la!" I whined, flopping back onto the bed. "Why is it so hard for you guys to understand this? I. Don't. Want. To. Go. Period. End of story. Now get out of my room."

Mel sighed. "Come on, 'Liss, it's not healthy to sit in here reading all the time. You need to get out, be with other people."

"I am not going to the dance and that is final."

"Don't make me do something I'm going to regret," Mel said, looking fierce.

I groaned. "Why are you guys pushing me on this? I thought you wanted me to be happy."

"That's exactly why we're doing it, 'Liss," Lola said, sitting down on the bed next to me. "We're worried about you. All you do these days is sit in here reading. It can't be good for you. You're never going to get better if you keep wallowing like this."

I rolled my eyes, but swung my legs over the side of the bed onto the floor. "Alright, fine. I'll go."

Lola squealed, jumping up and starting to root through my closet. "Here," she said after several moments, whipping something blue on a hanger at me. "Wear this."

I caught the garment she threw at me, examining it closely. It was a short sleeveless deep blue V-neck mini-dress, surprisingly simple for Lola to have picked it out. Nevertheless, I stripped off my yoga pants and T-shirt and exchanged them for the blue dress, the satin feeling cool against my skin.

Almost on autopilot – like riding a bike again after not riding for a long time – I drifted over to my vanity table and started searching through my jewelry. Scanning the tangle of silver and gold chains and charms, I pulled out what was a recent addition: a slim silver chain with a silver pendant shaped like a phoenix rising from flames. It had been a present from my parents; it was supposed to be symbolic – you know, with the whole 'rising from the ashes' thing. Regardless, it was a very pretty necklace, and I'd yet to wear it – I'd basically been living in sweats and T-shirts for the past few weeks. I undid the clasp and reached to slide it around my neck.

"No!" Lola shouted, reaching her hand out as if to yank the necklace off my neck. I looked at her like she'd just grown an extra head (that did actually happen once, in Transformations… it's a long story). "I mean… you shouldn't wear a necklace with that dress, 'Liss. It'll ruin the whole line."

I gave her another funny look, but sighed and dropped the necklace back into my jewelry box. If Lola didn't want me to wear a necklace for whatever ridiculous reason, I didn't have the energy to fight her on this. Despite having agreed to go to the stupid dance, I was already counting the minutes until I could make a break for it and come back to my room.

Plucking my brush from off the vanity, I ran it through my hair a couple times, not caring enough to do anything else with it. Somehow, though, my normally unruly hair had fixed itself into sexily messy bed-head-style curls. To appease Lola (who I could feel watching me over my shoulders), I swiped on some mascara and lip gloss, dotting a little bit of my favorite perfume on my wrists and neck. The sweet, fruity scent was invigorating, bringing back memories of better times. Slipping my feet into a pair of simple flat gold sandals (the first shoes I saw), I examined myself in the mirror, at the last minute deciding to add a touch of blush to my cheeks, which looked almost ghostly pale and garishly contrasted with my bright red mane of hair.

Turning to Lola, she looked me up and done and then nodded. "Not ideal, but it'll do," was her final assessment, before she spun on her ridiculously high heels (seriously, I have no idea how she walks in those things) and walked back out into the common room.

Mel walked over to me. "You'll have a good time tonight, 'Liss. It'll be just what the doctor ordered." I just nodded, not wanting to burst her bubble.

Aqua appeared in the doorway of my room, leaning against the wall. Her chocolate-brown curls had been straightened, falling down her back in a gleaming pin-straight curtain, and it looked as if she had new copper-colored highlights. She wore a sleeveless midnight-blue mini-dress, with a flowy chiffon skirt that reached mid-thigh and a scoop-necked bodice covered in thousands of tiny little sparkles. The color popped against her toffee-colored skin, which was further accented by bronzer and sparkly copper eye shadow. My most tomboy friend looked like she had walked off a runway. "You look… wow…" I stuttered.

Aqua's lips curled up into a smirk. "Clean up nice, don't I?" She ran one hand down the length of her body, as if admiring herself. "It's still me in here, though, don't worry," she added, sticking out her foot so I could admire her metallic copper gladiator sandals – which were refreshingly heelless. "Lola had these snakeskin platforms she wanted to loan me – but they were like five inches high! How could I dance in those things?" I laughed.

"Yes, you look amazing, Aqua," Mel agreed, plucking a stray hair off her roommate's shoulder. "Now will you get out of the door already? Alyssa here is about to leave her room for the first time in weeks."

"Hey! That is not true!" I sputtered indignantly, as Mel and Aqua chuckled.

"There you are, 'Liss," Dee exclaimed, grabbing my hand and literally pulling me out into the common area. "I need your opinion on my dress." Stepping back, she did a little twirl for me. "You like it? I was sort of inspired by the dress you wore to the dance at the beginning of the year."

"Very nice," I said, looking her over up and down. She was wearing an orangey-gold satin knee-length cocktail-style dress with spaghetti straps and a slightly flared skirt that had an inch or so of dark orange tulle peeking out from the hem. The only makeup she wore was bright fuchsia lip gloss that matched her hair, which was chopped nape of the neck short into an edgy, asymmetrical long bob – yet another dramatic hairstyle change that I had missed, apparently. My heart ached slightly, as I realized exactly how much I did miss hanging out with the girls – talking and laughing without a care in the world.

But how could I act like nothing had happened this year, that I was still that same carefree girl? Answer: I can't. I sighed, hating the growing (emotional) distance between the rest of my friends and I more than ever.

Ivy stepped out of her room, resplendent in a sleeveless leaf-green chiffon dress with iridescent blue-green sequins on the shoulder straps and in a belt at the empire waist, and a short flowy skirt that had blue tulle overlay. Her golden-brown hair was pulled back in a long, loose braid that draped down her back, plaited with little blue flowers. Her face lit up when she saw me. "Alyssa! You're going after all!"

"Not exactly by choice," I grumbled, wincing as Mel nudged me sharply in the back with her elbow.

Lola appeared at my side and looped her arm through mine. "You're going to have a good time tonight, 'Liss," she said earnestly, leveling me with her hazel eyes, which seemed to glow, courtesy of her daring purple liner. "I promise."

I bit my lip to keep from telling her that she'd just made an impossible promise.

An hour later, I found myself on the fringes of the dance floor, watching as my friends shimmied and twirled in the center, commanding attention as always. I'd managed to beg off on the excuse of needing a bathroom break, and now was quite content to watch rather than participate. Thankfully, none of them had spotted me yet, so I was able to lurk on the edges rather than be dragged back there.

The dance had been everything I'd expected it to be – lots of Alfea girls in pretty dresses twirling with Red Fountain boys in various interpretations of formalwear; teachers watching with eagle eyes from the sidelines, just waiting to bust anyone for "inappropriate conduct"; a refreshments table with the requisite watery punch and stale cookies; the cool night air heavy with the scents of mingled perfumes and colognes, blending together to create what some people might've called the smell of "love in the air". (Me, I just found it sickening.) People who noticed me gave me some funny looks (apparently my fight with Taylor hadn't yet been displaced by something juicier in the gossip mill), but eventually, everyone stopped gawking and went back to dancing. Still, I was not-so-surreptitiously checking the clock every five minutes or so, trying to figure out when would be an acceptable time to slink up to my room and hide for the rest of the night.

"There you are, 'Liss," Lola exclaimed, appearing in front of me seemingly from out of nowhere, and yanking at my hand, pulling me back into the crush. "I was wondering where you'd wandered off to."

"Lola, I really don't feel up to dancing right now. I think I'm getting a little nauseous. I was just about to go lie down…" My protests fell on deaf ears, as she jostled me through the crowd towards the others. From there, I was passed from friend to friend, each one of them giving me an interesting reaction – Ivy's shy smile, Dee's knowing eyes, Mel's devious smirk, Aqua's mischievous giggle – until finally, I found myself shoved into the arms of a black-jacket-clad guy.

Pausing for a second to catch my breath, I looked up to see who my rescuer was – and promptly lost the ability to speak as my eyes met a pair of familiar blue irises.

"R-Ryan?" I sputtered.

He smiled, touching his finger to his head like he was tipping an imaginary top hat. "The one and only, at your service," he said, with an exaggerated posh accent. I couldn't help but giggle, despite the fact that I was supposed to be mad at him.

Over my shoulder, I saw Lola wink and give him a thumbs-up sign. "Tell me the truth, Ry–" pang in my heart at using his old nickname "did you set this up?"

He grinned sheepishly. "Guilty as charged." A slow song came on, and he wrapped his arms around my waist. "Dance with me, Alyssa? Just once?"

I sighed, but slid my arms around his neck and leaned my head against his chest, as we slowly swayed in place. Closing my eyes, I inhaled the scent of his cologne, and for a moment was drawn back to last year, in this exact same position – the two of us, dancing at the farewell dance, me feeling like I had everything in the world I could've ever wished for.

But so much had changed since then.

Reluctantly, I pulled away, putting an arm's length of distance between us. Seeing him again made my heart ache, especially when I thought about the last time I'd seen him – with Alexa clinging to him like a barnacle. That thought was enough to strengthen my resolve. "If you think this is going to win me back, Ryan, you're wrong, and you might as well leave me alone now and go find a girl who's more willing. I bet Alexa's free."

"I don't want Alexa. I want you." The sincerity in his voice and in his eyes left me speechless for a moment – but only a moment.

"Sure didn't look that way at my party." Not caring about the fact that we were on the dance floor with dozens of other couples, I pulled away completely and crossed my arms over my chest.

Ryan grabbed my arm and pulled me off to the side. "I swear to God, Alyssa, I did not kiss her. She attacked me, and I pushed her away as soon as the shock wore off."

"Which conveniently wasn't until I showed up," I sniped.

He sighed heavily. "What do I have to say to convince you I'm telling the truth?" I bit my lip. "I care about you, Alyssa, more than I'd ever thought possible. Please don't do this to me anymore."

I could feel my formerly iron resolve starting to soften, although I refused to let it show outwardly. "I just… that night was so awful for me, Ry. I wantto be able to forgive you, but I just can't get that picture of you and her out of my mind. And all that stuff with our parents…" I trailed off, following his hand as it reached into a pocket and pulled out a little dark blue velvet box, the kind that jewelry came in. My mouth went dry (and annoyingly, Lola's voice appeared in my head, saying something about 'all that guilt means you'll get some pretty fabulous jewels'. I waved her away; this was so not the time).

"Will this help?" He opened the box, revealing a slender gold chain draped across a swath of velvet. A familiar heart-shaped pendant hung from it, and I let out a soft gasp of surprise.

"But I… I thought I'd ruined it!" All I could do was stare, as he pulled the chain from the box and started to work the clasp. I was too stunned to say anything as he draped it over my exposed collarbone – that Lola had talked me out of wearing a necklace on. Lola, who'd all but admitted to plotting with Ryan to get us back together. Suddenly, that entire little exchange made infinitely more sense than it had hours earlier. (Which made me feel more than a bit relieved, because unexplained, that just made Lola seem a little crazy.)

"I had it fixed. And I did something else." Fumbling for the locket clasp, he opened it up to reveal the tiny picture inside. I swallowed my gasp of surprise at the recognition – it was from last year's dance, snapped by Mel without either of our awareness until after the fact. Nevertheless, it was a cute one: me perched on Ryan's lap, leaning my head back so that it fit into the curve of his shoulder; his arms wrapped loosely around my waist, head looking down so his eyes met mine. It looked like Mel had snapped us seconds before we were about to kiss, which was in fact the truth. "You like?"

"I… I don't know what to say."

His tone suddenly grew serious. "Say you forgive me, and that you'll accept the necklace again. Because I really do mean it, Alyssa. You're the only one I want, now and for the rest of my life. I… I love you."

As if I hadn't already been rendered speechless and generally incapacitated by his words so far, those three actually made my heart stop.

"I love you, Princess Alyssa of Sparx, and everything about you," he continued, almost unaware of the effect he was having on me. "I love the way your hair smells like some kind of flower, I love hearing your voice on the phone, I love letting you hide your face in my shoulders during the scary parts of the movie even though I've said multiple times I'd be happy to see a chick flick for you. I love the way you'll spend hours getting dressed up before a big event, even though you'd be just as breathtaking without all that makeup crap. I love walking through Magix holding your hand, telling all the world that this stunning, exquisite creature is mine. I love looking into your eyes – those beautiful golden eyes of yours that I know you sometimes hate but I adore because they're what makes you so special, so undeniably you. I love your fiery independent streak, and how you passionately defend what you care about, even if it costs you, and I love your seemingly endless compassion for the people you love, and–"

Tears were dripping down my cheeks, despite all efforts to keep them at bay, making me glad I'd barely bothered with makeup tonight. "Shut up," I managed through the tears. Ryan's face fell. "You idiot. You great enormous fool, you. Could you have picked a more inconvenient time to tell me all of this?" Ryan looked like he'd been punched in the stomach, until I pressed my body against his, slid my arms around his neck, and crashed my lips against his for the kiss to end all kisses.

When we finally pulled apart, both panting for air, he looked down at me almost like he wasn't sure that I wasn't a dream. "So am I forgiven?"

I couldn't help but laugh, even as the tears continued to fall. "Yes, you're forgiven, you big moron. I love you too." He smiled – a soft, sweet smile – then leaned down to kiss me again. As he pulled back, wrapping his arms loosely around my lower back, I saw a flash of dark hair out of the corner of my eye.

Alexa.

She was standing alone near the refreshments table, sipping a glass of punch, another full glass sitting on the table next to her. Her dark hair was piled on top of her head in a messy bun, and she wore a backless white mini-dress with a low scoop neck, so tight it almost looked like a straightjacket. As I watched, her eyes seemed to settle on Ryan and I, and then they narrowed, her bright red lips pursing in obvious displeasure. I was seemingly unable to look away, and after a minute she caught my stare. Her blue eyes were cold as ice and seemed to hold an unspoken threat.

I shuddered, quickly tearing my gaze away from Alexa and looking back up at Ryan. "You okay, 'Liss?" he asked, obviously catching my shudder. "Are you thirsty? Do you want me to get you some punch?"

"No!" I cried, tightening my grip on his arms somewhat irrationally. It was a bit ridiculous to still be scared of Alexa now, after Ryan's incredibly romantic gesture, but there was something about her that set me on edge. I certainly wasn't about to give her any more opportunities if I could help it. Thankfully, another slow song came on, and I slid my arms around his neck. "Dance with me, Ry?"

"Anything for you, my love," he said, kissing me softly on the cheek. Little tingles of pleasure raced down my spine at his touch, and his use of "my love".

I closed my eyes and let myself relax in his arms, feeling all the tension of the last few weeks leave my body. Ryan's declaration had done far more than I'm sure even he'd expected – it had made me feel something for the first time in a long while. And now I had hope that things might, someday soon, get back to the way they were.

"I… I know you probably don't want to talk about this, but I just want to say again that I am so sorry about my insane sister, and her crazy vendetta against you. I had no idea that she would take things this far, and I–"

I opened my eyes and looked up at him. "Please, Ry – don't talk about her tonight," I pleaded softly, staring into his eyes. "I just… I don't want to think about it right now. Not when I'm the happiest I've been in way too long."

He nodded. "I understand. Forget I brought it up." He kissed my forehead.

The song ended, and Ryan departed for the snacks table to get us some punch. Alone in the middle of the dance floor, I tipped my head backwards and stared up at the night sky – the full moon, all the twinkling stars – inhaling deeply and filling my lungs with cold night air.

I don't know what's in store for me next year – my final year at Alfea. I don't know if I'll ever be the same again, after everything that's happened. I don't know how I'll learn to live with this crushing pain of Miriam's betrayal, and not let it rule my life – but I know that I will.

Because I know one thing for sure – I will survive this.

And I'm not alone.

I never will be.

Author's Note: Thoughts? How was it - not just this chapter, but the entire story as a whole, now that it's finished?

Two books down, one to go. Honestly, I still can't quite believe I've made it this far - when I started writing What Comes Next, I don't think I ever figured that I'd actually go through with writing a trilogy. But now here we are - WPIP is done, and I've got an outline for What's Left of Me, which is the third and final book. I think I just might pull this off. Wow.

Thank you to all my readers who have stuck with me from book 1. An enormous thank you goes to the amazing Miss Ember, for putting up with my five zillion questions and being my beta when necessary, as well as all the artwork she's done for fairy outfits and such.

*sighs* I'm not going to cry (save the waterworks for What's Left of Me), but I do admit, saying goodbye to y'all now is definitely bittersweet. Don't worry - I'll be back before anyone has time to miss me (and that's a promise).

xoxo,

- Authoress