I haven't been on fantiction for a while. So I'm starting my return with one or possibly the creepiest Ed Edd n Eddy story ever written. So if you don't like character death don't read and is rated M for every way that i could think of. So read at your own risk. EEnE is owned by CN and Danny Antonucci.

Dead ed walking

I was sitting in my room on my chair with the light off listening to some sad music I found on my iPod. My name is Eddward. Or has my friends (eye twitched) call me Double D. My life is a living nightmare. Everyone in the Cul-de-sac treats me like shit. I pulled a handgun out form my pocket and placed it on my temple. I closed my eyes. I began to cry.

I started to remember how I came to this horrible place. Back in my old town everyone respected me for my intelligence. But here I'm mocked for it.

Over the past 15 years me and my 2 best friends Ed and Eddy have been pulling off scams everyday trying to make a stupid quarter. Ed is so dumb every time he talks I want to put a bullet between his eyes. While Eddy is a loud mouth, egotistic, greedy jerk you cares for no one. I want to shoot him between the balls.

I soon threw the gun on to my bed. A month ago it was my 18 birthday and you know what everyone came (ex the Kankers). I almost felt wanted. My shoulder twitched when I started to remember. It was on February 6th.

I put the last of the decorations up and waited. Soon Eddy and Ed showed up in there normal clothing. Then everyone soon followed in order. Jimmy, Sarah, Kevin, Johnny, Rolf, and finally Nazz. Everything was nice until I started opening my gifts. I got some weird ones. Then I reached Kevin's When I opened it. It turned out to be a mustard bomb. Mustard went all over me everyone even Ed, eddy and Nazz Started to laugh.

The memories were painful. Then I got up and opened my closet revealing a few items. I grad a few. 1 bagger, 1 weird looking grenade made form a soup can and gun powder, 5 custom made shurikens, and a leather jacket containing a wrench and some rope. Finally I grad my gun and sat back down.

10 minutes later my door slams open revealing Ed and Eddy. "Yo sock head I came up with the best scam." Eddy yelled. My eye twitches twice. "Yeah come on Double D." Ed yelled in a stupid fashion. I soon came down stair glaring at them. They didn't notice.

"Quit stalling lets go and make some money to get jawbreakers." God I hate jawbreakers they were good at first now they plain disgusted me. "Coming Eddy." I said happily, We left. Ed wouldn't shut up. I swear I going to kill him.

"Ok hears the plan we are going to do everyone homework for a week." He said. "Got it Eddy." Ed said. "That's very generous of you Eddy to take away your weekend to help." I said smiling. "Oh Sock head when I say we I mean you. While Ed and I go get jawbreakers." He shouted. I was filled with anger.

Then I went blank I was remembering all the times Eddy made me or blamed me on a scam. "When I mean we I mean you and Ed." or like "Good job Double D if you only hold on we would be eating jawbreakers right now." Eddy screamed.

Eddy got on a basket and was holding a microphone. "Come all to the Brainiac Ed." Rolf was working in his farm when he turned to us. Nazz and Kevin were riding when they started listening. Jimmy and Sarah were having a tea party at that moment. Even the kankers came out of the forest. Johnny was in a tree.

"Double D here well do your homework for only 25 cenaaahhhs." Eddy scream has I jammed my dagger into his back. Every stared at me in disbelief. Ed backed up. "Its about time I shut that big mouth of yours." I whispered in his ear. "Don't worry Eddy I'll make the pain go away." I said has a silted his throat. "Run!" Jimmy screamed has they ran for it.

I drop Eddy's bloodily, lifeless body. "Hay everyone does anyone know what happens when a electric pole explodes?" I yelled. "It makes a electric pulse that shut down all electrical items. Like ipods, DS, and cell phones." I hissed then I grab that grenade I made and chucked it phone pole causing it to explode.

I looked around to see no one. I then went in search for my prey.

Then in the corner of my eye I saw someone run into Nazz's house. I walked all the away to Nazz's house and very silently climb through the windows. I heard crying. "Sarah are you in here?" Jimmy cried. I went blank again.

Jimmy now what has that little bastard do to me. The first thing that popped up was every time he sent that red haired bitch after me. Also when he came up with that scheme that made everyone hate us. "Yes it was me and I'll do it again." Jimmy said to us when we were taped down. All because Eddy ruined his friendship day. Not to mention all those fake tears.

I heard him go up stairs. "Nazz, Sarah are you here?" Jimmy said. I followed him. He walked into Nazz's bedroom. I quickly ran in and punch Jimmy right in the face. "Double D don't hurt me." He begged. "Why after how you treated me." I yelled at him has a grab his braces and started dragging him into Nazz's bathroom.

"What did I do?" He screamed. "Let me see." I twitched. Then I shoved his face into the toilet. "Remember your little friendship day when you made everyone hate us." I said then I grab the wrench in my jacket and slam it over the top of his head. The bubbles stop coming out. I let him go and walked out ready for my next kill.

'Sorry Jimmy but the only reason you died quick and painless is because you help me when I became the school bully." A tear of joy ran down my face. Remembering when I kick the crap out of a few of my friends.

I then walk down to Rolf's house and broke down the door. "Oh shit he founds us bubby." Johnny cried. I slowly walk making sure each of my steps could be heard. I then turned around to Rolf's living room. Johnny was in the corner at the time.

We both stared at each other until I went blank twitching rapidly. Johnny ways talking to that damn piece of wood. Memories of when he became watermelon head and beat the shit out of me and the other 2. Johnny was staring at me a little shock at what he was looking at.

"Johnny you and that piece of wood are going to burn in hell." I yelled as I ran at him with my dagger.

Then out of nowhere a shovel slams into my head. "Run Johnny 2x4 Rolf will hold off Double D head boy." Rolf said has he step out from around the corner. Johnny jumped out a nearby window. Rolf stood in some sort of warrior pose.

I got up and stared at him. "For the old country and for the urban rangers." He said proudly. "Sorry Rolf but I just killed one of your urban Rangers." I said with a grin. "Jimmy." He said. I pulled the dagger form my jacket's pocket.

Then I began to twitch. Rolf ways beating me up and tricking us. I always hated how he talked and told us about is home land. Rolf pulled out a huge hammer. "What is that Rolf" I ask scare. "The hat of discipline. Do you live in a cave?" He slams it on me. Then yet again he slam that shovel into my face sending me flying.

I look at Rolf who was charging at me. I quickly pulled the gun form my pocket and aimed at his knee and fired. Rolf fell clutching his left knee. "Sorry Rolf." I said grabbing his shovel. "Go to hell Double D Ed boy." Was his last words before I slam the shovel over his head repeatedly savoring every swing. His brain and blood spattering all over me.

I look out the window and saw that Johnny has gotten away... for now. I jump out of the window and peaked over the fence to see Nazz and Kevin right on the edge of the forest. I jump over the fence both of their gazes went onto me.

"Oh shit." Kevin yelled has he grab Nazz and ran into the forest. I quickly threw 1 of my shuriken at then. I heard Nazz yelp in pain. I grinned in joy and ran after them. I eventually found my shuriken struck in the trunk of a tree.

"Awwww It missed." I shrugged it off and started to look around. "You know what I should have looked in here first." I scolded myself. Soon I found a piece of paper. It was wet form tear drops. I picked it up revealing a picture of me and Marie holding hands.

I started twitching yet again. Remembering of all the times they sexually attack us. "Strange what could a lipstick dispenser be doing here in my yard?" I said picking up some lipstick I found. "Oh my." Look back and forth. "Haaauuu (Marie tackled me). Hiya dreamboat. Pucker oven mitts." I screamed for mercy.

I reach into my pocket and felt the dagger and the nail clippers. 'Man i have problems' I through. I then heard a twig snap. "Lee, Marie are you out here?" May said fear in her voice. She walked up to the bush I was hiding in. "Lee is that you?" She said then I jump up and slam the wrench across her face.

I drag her into a cave when she awoke. "Where am I" She said in a dumb fashion. "Sorry May I can't say much but tell me where everyone else is." I Told her nicely. She spat in my face. "No you bastard." I then grabbed the nail clipper and jammed it into her mouth. She started to cry when I started to pull out one of her teeth. She started to scream now.

"Ok ok there in Ed's basement." She said. Then the next thing we heard made May cry even more. "May are you out here." Lee yelled. "Yeah we got to get out of here." Marie yells. "Run Double D is he..." Bang I shot her between the eyes. Then I heard footsteps going away off me. "Shit." I hissed under my breath has I ran out of the cave.

"God damn why did I waste one of my bullet on her?" I scolded myself yet again. I then ran to find the other 2 whores. I pulled out 2 more of my shurikens. Then I saw Lee sitting on the edge of the stream resting. I came out of the brush then I heard a click.

She laugh evilly then got up and turned around with a revolver and fired at he once just missing as I jump back into the brush. "This is for eddy you sadistic son of a bitch." She fired 2 more time randonly at the brush I was in. "Come on Lee put down the gun so we can." She shot where the voice came from the bullet skinned me.

I then tried to get to another tree only to be shot at. She fired 2 more times. The first completely missed but the other got me in the right knee. "That bitch." I whaled then I looked at her to see her reloading. I grabbed my 2 shurikens and threw then at her. The first hitting her right in the chest the second right at her throat.

She started choking removing the shuriken and holding her throat. Then she fell backwards into the water drifting her away. I then pulled out the dagger and dig that bullet out with it.

"5 down 6 to go." I slyly said. I then got and went back to the hunt. I soon enter the trailer park. "Oh shit that right May said that everyone else is at Ed's house." Then he heard something break in the Kanker's trailer. I walk up to find the door locked. I pulled out my gun and shot at the doorknob and I opened the door.

"Marie is that you." I said hearing someone crying. I entered the bedroom. I already knew where to go because he was in this exact place several times. Marie was on the bed staring at me with complete fear. "Doub...le..D." She said with complete fear in her voice.

"What wrong Marie I through I was your dreamboat." I said walking up to her. "Marie the only reason this is going to be painless is because you were nice to me." I told her. "And I kind of enjoyed some of our make out session." I said pulling out my dagger. I slash my blade.

But I did not even touch her skin but I cut off her black top. Revealing her black bra she blushed as I removed my jacket. "Wha... are... you do..ing?" She said now staring at me. "I think you deserve some attention before... well you know." I said getting into the bed.

I then kissed her on the lips and shoved my tongue into her mouth. Soon she began to kiss back moaning. She then removes my shirt. I went to her neck and started sucking on her silky, pale skin. We started getting more passionate and she was now on top of me still making out. I then began playing with her bra until I finally removed that damn thing.

I got up only to take off my shoes and socks and she did the same. Then I grab her breast form behind she moaned. "This is going to be fun." I whispered into her ears while pinching her nipples. She gasp in pain has I started to play with her. I then removed her lower layers until she was completely naked. She did the same to me. She laid on her bed as I got on top of her.

"Be gentle." She whispered. "Nope." I whispered into her ear yet again. Then I slammed it into her she screamed in pain. I was merciless as I kept slamming it into her frail body. The more she screamed for me to stop the more it encourages me to continue. Blood ran down our legs. Soon the cries of pain became moans of joy. I never through I could have so much fun form the girl that ruined my childhood. The next hour was me savagely exploring her body. Until I reached my climax.

We spent the next 10 minutes lying under the covers holding each other. Until I got up and started putting on my clothes. I check to see if Marie was wake. "Marie are you wake?" No response. I grab my dagger and place it on her temple. She silently whimpered. I couldn't do it. Instead of ending her I kissed one last time before I took off.

Only seconds later I realize I forgot my gun. Then A bullet zoomed right passed me. I ducked under a rock. "Remember me Double Dweeb." Kevin yelled holding my gun. I started to twitch and foaming form the mouth. I hated this guy more than Eddy, Sarah and Jimmy combine.

"Dork, Double Dweeb." Memories of Kevin beating us up and calling us dork all the time. Then Kevin jump around the corner and pointed my gun at my head. "Get up you bastard." So I did. "How'd did you get my gun?" I ask him. "Oh well I was sent to find survivors. But then I heard a girl scream so I rode my motorcycle to where the screaming was coming from."

"Can I just say you and Marie put on a good show?" He smirked. My body filled with hatred. "Made I should tap that. Anyways when you 2 were doing it I snuck in and took it." We eventually made it back to his motorcycle. When He tried starting it back up I tried a rope to the back of the bike then made a noose. Then he got it started.

Then as quickly as possible I threw the noose around his neck and jump on his bike. "What are you..." I then started to drive has fast has it could breaking Kevin's neck. I drove all the way back to the cul-de-sac tearing flesh and meat off Kevin's body. Then I reached the cul-de-sac leaving a blood trail behind me.

"Honey I'm home." I yelled. I got off the bike and went to Ed's house and looked at the basement window. Nazz, Sarah, Johnny and Ed were all there. Sarah was holding on Ed for dear life in the corner. Nazz sat on the bed while Johnny was at the doorway most likely look out.

I ran to the door and knock on it 3 times and place a makeshift board that would hit the guy you opened the door. I ran around to see Johnny run up the stairs then bam. They heard Johnny get hit and Ed said something to Nazz and he ran up stairs to check Johnny. I started to twitch.

Remembering what Nazz and Sarah has done to me. Sarah always is beating me up and Nazz always ignoring me. Sarah broke through the door. "Where is she?" she said. "What you?" Ed said "My dolly." Not to mention she found her dolly like 5 fucking minutes later.

I broke through the window. They both stared at me locking the door. "Good evening ladies." I said. "Double D what are you doing here?" Nazz ask. "ED!" Sarah screams. Then I heard banging at the door. "Double D if you touch Sarah I'll kill you." Ed said. "Same goes for Nazz." Johnny said. "Double D please don't." Nazz begged.

I picked up Ed's grays horn demon thing on his desk and pulled the string. "Sorry girls love hurts." I let the string go and it spitted out flames burning those 2. "Burn baby burn." Then the door was smash to the ground revealing Johnny and Ed.

"Baby sister." Ed yelled. "Nazz!" Johnny screamed. I quickly grabbed my dagger and threw it at Ed getting him right in the neck. "Double D how could you he was your best friend." Johnny said shaking right beside Ed. I walk up to him and took Plank. "No not Plank." He yelled has I snapped Plank in half. "Open wide."

I jammed the sharp steak like plank into Johnny mouth cramming down his throat. Then grabbing Ed's head and broke. I stared at what I have done. I spent the next 3 hours cleaning up the mess. I have never been so happy.

A year later.

Two cops stood at a door and knock. Double D opens the door. "What do you 2 want." I said anger in my voice. The one with black hair spoke. "We know that you murder those kids a year ago." The one with brown spoke. "Yeah so you should confess right now." "Drake, Carl can you 2 please leave me alone." I told them.

"We will be back." Drake said walking off. "Yeah let's go check that farmer kids house again." They drove off. I glared at them entering Rolf's house. "I'll Kill those 2 later." I hissed. "Who was that?" Marie said walking up to me holding a baby. "Oh no one." She turned to me. "Did you get a letter from Lee or May?" She asks. "Nope." I said kissing her.

"How Paix." I ask her. She slimed. "He ok but I'm getting lonely." She said walking up to the bedroom. "This is the best year of my life." I said pulling a jar out of my closet with 10 eyes in it. "Coming." Marie said. I threw it back in. "Yes I am." I slimed

The end

Holy shit this was long. I hope you liked the messed up ending. P.S. Paix means peace in France. Irony.