Written for a prompt at comment_fic on livejournal, prompt was Dean goes after the Snuggle bear:


"Long time coming," Dean growled at the furball standing defiantly on the linoleum kitchen floor, glaring at Dean from the other end of the suburban home's hallway.

The bear snarled, showing its fang-like teeth, and blood and green saliva dripped off the sharp points of his incisors. It ran toward Dean, who let off several shotgun shots of salt right at it.

But all it did was slow the beast down. It just kept going, half its head blown off, clumps of fluff flying everywhere as it ran down the hallway at Dean, yelling in its high pitched voice, "Die, mutherfucker!!!"

Dean's eyes widened and he was about to make a fast retreat when suddenly a burst of flame shot out from one of the side rooms, setting the fabric softener salesbear on fire and causing him to burn up into nothing before he could reach Dean.

Dean made a mental note to use fire right away next time he fought a stuffed animal, and then peered around the corner to see who had saved his life.

And there they were.

Immediately his gaze went to Paddington Bear, who was looking solemnly at Dean, flamethrower on his shoulder still smoking.

"What the-" Dean said.

"Look, here's what you need to know," Paddington said wearily, "Teddies are real, we're neither good nor evil, we're just like people."

"Yeah, Snuggles there seemed a little demonic to me," Dean said defensively, while some part of his mind wondered how much debate went on before the teddies collectively decided on a laissez faire moral philosophy.

"Hey, Snug wasn't always like that," Pooh said mournfully as he pulled a honey stick out of the pocket of his camo vest and started to suck on it, "He saw some stuff. Couldn't get it out of his head, you know?"

"Point is," Paddington continued, "We take care of our own. A teddy goes rogue, we handle it ourselves. We don't need a bunch of hunters or other humans going in halfassed and meddling in our business."

Dean paused at he stared at them, trying very hard not to reach out and touch their soft adorable fur. Finally, he nodded and said, "Fair enough."

Paddington and Pooh turned around then and Dean watched them slowly walk away.

"Snug wasn't always like that, man," Pooh said once more to Paddington as they left, "He used to be a cool guy."

"I know, man," Paddington said as he patted Pooh on the shoulder, "I know."