A letter from Jacob to everyone's favourite author inspired by his letter to Bella in Eclipse.
NOTE: The words from "Why" to "just" are crossed out but this site doesn't allow it.

Ms Meyer,

Why the hell did you make me fall in love with that freak of a baby as if I were a pedophile? If you effing wanted to compensate for making me love Bella you could've given me someone with half a personality. Made me fall for Leah or something. But instead you just spoil Bella some more, making me her son in law. Lady, you are seriously

You are a sick, sadistic woman Ms Meyer. Who makes a teenager fall in love with baby? And don't give me your imprinting crap. You know Emily and Sam have been dating behind Leah's back for

Let's overlook the huuuge age gap here. But what part of 'mortal enemies' is too complicated for you to

Look, you may think I'm being a jerk, but I've been putting up with you for way too long lady. Can't you write something worth more than a grain of

It just makes it worse when I think about that baby too much, so just

Never mind. Just don't write Midnight Sun. Please. I don't think I could stand it. Sorry.

Jacob