Hey, just a little warning for one of the entries – this is the episode where Kurt gets drunk, and as I am only 13 years old, I have NO idea what a drunk person sounds like, so I am probably wildly off the mark on that entry. Also, I feel that this chapter feels a lot less like Kurt than it does like me, so it's a bit OC. I'll try to get back my Kurt hat back on by the next chapter – it's probably disguised as some high-class designer hat that will cost $500.

Dear Diary,

Since my dad was so nice about it, Mercedes and I decided I should tell the rest of the club as well. They all gave me their support and accepted me, except for (of course) Puck and Santana. Santana won't stop making fun of me, and Puck has just increased his dumpster throw-ins. I wish life was as easy as it is in the fairy tales.

Then again, I'm fairly sure there weren't any gay princes.

Kurt Hummel

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Dear Diary,

I expected at least that Mercedes would get Rachel's solos. At least Mercedes has the voice. In fact, I think Mercedes has a better voice than Rachel does, even if she doesn't sell it (I believe I've already mentioned this).

But, no. Rachel's solo in Don't Stop Believing is going to Quinn. For one thing, Quinn's voice, although pleasant to listen to, doesn't carry at all. You can barely even hear her over the guitar, and we had to bring down the whole vibe of the song to match her voice. Also, Mercedes seems to be one of the only members of Glee club who isn't in love with Finn, so she wouldn't use the song as an opportunity to make eyes at him. She doesn't know how I feel about Finn yet, but I think she might suspect.

Quinn was sick this morning. She ran out of practice with her hand over her mouth. Even if I don't like her much, I hope she's all right.

The whole club has agreed. We need Rachel back. I wish we didn't.

Kurt Hummel

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Dear Diary,

We have a new member in the Glee club – and she's three years older than Mr. Schuester. April Rhodes never graduated, so Mr. Schuester is enrolling her in his Spanish class and bringing her in to Glee. The woman is annoying and quite rude. When she first came into the room, she said we looked like the world's worst Benetton ad.

I'm not even going to comment on that statement.

But then she started to sing. It was as if some angel was channeling itself through her vocal cords. Time stood still, and there was nothing else in the world but her voice. She is amazing.

I still don't think it's a good idea to put her in the club.

Kurt Hummel

P.S. It's funny, but she looks an awful lot like Kristin Chenoweth.

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Dear Diary,

I worship April she is a goddess.

She gave me this power drink thing, makes me feel fantastic and confident! I've only had it for a day and I don't know how I ever got on without it. I do feel a bit dizzy and lightheaded but I don't really know why and there seems to be a rabbit on my pillow but it's not harming anyone so I don't mind.

Also she gave me her vintage collection of Muscle Magazine which is absolutely genius. I worship what's her name again? Oh well, it doesn't matter. Good night.

Kurt!

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Dear Diary,

Have you ever had a hangover? It is most decidedly not pleasant. Apparently, that power drink April gave me was alcoholic. I threw up all over Miss Pillsbury's shoes and we both had to be taken to the emergency room – me because my body couldn't handle the alcohol and Miss P. because she went into shock (she has a mental disease and can't handle messes).

After we were both treated, Miss Pillsbury took me aside and started questioning me about where I got the booze. I didn't tell her – I didn't want to get April in trouble – but I think I have to revoke April's goddess status. I'm not so sure I like her anymore

I always swore I would never drink underage, smoke, or do drugs. Not only are they horrible for the inside of your body, they are dreadful for your skin. I need to get out of this emergency room so I can get at my concealer, I look like a sick bulldog right now.

Kurt Hummel

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Dear Diary,

Quinn was sick in school today again. She keeps missing Glee practice, and she seems uncharacteristically distracted. She doesn't look sick, though. At least, not until she runs out of the room with her hand over her mouth. Maybe she's lactose intolerant. It's all highly suspicious.

Kurt Hummel

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Dear Diary,

Today we found out why Quinn is always so sick.

She's pregnant. With Finn's baby.

When I first found out she was pregnant, I was positively gleeful. Quinn Fabray is the president of the celibacy club! It was too good to be true. Then I found out it was Finn's. I acted the way Kurt Hummel would be expected to – joyous over this bit of gossip (in fact, I think I played the part too well, I looked happier than everyone else there), but I didn't have to act for long. Right on cue, Rachel walked in, and I was faced with the delicious task of telling her myself. This could, in fact, be a blessing in disguise. What with all the baby drama and the Rachel vs. Quinn battle, Finn's going to get sick of those girls.

Who am I kidding?

I'm going to be depressed about this for a month.

Kurt Hummel

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Dear Diary,

Invitationals are tomorrow. I'm quite nervous. It's going to be my first performance in front of a large audience, my big break.

Not that I actually do anything important.

I'm still sad about the Finn-Quinn story. I'm going to count how many days it takes for me to get over this. It should keep me slightly amused.

Kurt Hummel

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Dear Diary,

We just did act one: "Last Name" by Carrie Underwood. April came in drunk – if they haven't figured out where I got the booze from yet, they never will – and started kissing Puck in the middle of the warm-up. She then grabbed my nose and yelled, "HONK!"

Obviously, April can handle alcohol better than I can, because she kicked butt during Last Name. We got a standing ovation. I feel very confident going into Act II.

Kurt Hummel

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Dear Diary,

Mr. Schuester showed up during the intermission to let us know that April had left and we were going to cut the performance short. I've never been in a club like this before, but I am fairly sure that you don't wait to tell the club that their lead singer has left five minutes before the newly-canceled Act II begins.

However, Rachel showed up, announced that she had quit the play, and stepped in for April.

"Somebody to Love" was amazing. I think it's one of the best songs we've done, along with "Don't Stop Believing."

Mercedes was our secret weapon. Like I said before, Rachel sold the song. She lured the audience in, and then Mercedes knocked them dead with one note. The entire audience burst into applause. It was amazing.

I have a truly remarkable best friend.

Kurt Hummel