Chapter 3: all I ever wanted

Story: For the first Time

Author: Nyaru

Warning: not beta-ed, bad english, cursing, boyxboy, smut

Disclaimer: sadly, the Twilight Saga doesn't belong to me – again, I am not Stephenie Meyer

I only own the plot ;3

A/N: tadaaa - this is the final chapter of 'FtfT'- I hope you'll not be too disappointed ... there'll be some (light) smut :3v (oh and I changed the rating to M xD)

Btw: I noticed some mistakes, I made in the last two chapters^^' so here're some informations/corrections:

- Jacob and Edward know each other for 3 years

- after 1 year Jake wanted to know Edward's last name

- Edward and Bella married 2 years ago – he then became Mr. Swan (that's why Jake mentioned his name being Swan)

- Jake and Leah were together for 1 ½ years and broke up 2 years ago (the time, when the marriage had been)

- Jake and Edward are chat-married for 1 year (so Edward already was Bella's husband)

And now the age of them:

*Jacob – 24 years

*Edward – 27 years

*Alice & Bella – 26 years

* Jasper – 28 years

EDIT: I made some comma corrections due to Mizuni-no-neko kindly telling me that some are not necessary - thanx :)

!On with the show!

After maybe one minute my brain started to work again. "You've gotta be kidding!" I balled my fists so tightly that the knuckles turned white. "First of all you ignore me completely, and you never mentioned before that you have a fuckin' wife and now you have the impertinence to just talk to me like nothing happened?!" I scowled at him. I started to have doubts whether I really knew him. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. After all I didn't want to ruin his handsome face due to my aggressive nature.

"Jake –", he tried but I did not let him finish.

"Don't Jake me!" I slammed my fist into my door.

He didn't take the hint. "Let me explain –", he tried again, but, like the first time, I didn't let him finish.

I punched the door for the second time. "Shut the fuck up!" I hissed through gritted teeth. My anger kept pounding in my head and my heart ached because of the pain and betrayal. The only way of getting rid of it was to explode. Sadly, that wasn't an option human beings had.

Suddenly Edward pulled the car over to the right side and slammed on the brakes. I managed to grab the sides of my seat so that I wouldn't hit my head on the dashboard.

As the car finally stopped on the parking lane, Edward killed the engine and turned to face me with a muderous look on his face.

Uh, oh. I guess he really was mad now.

"You are going to be silent and listen to what I say. And if you wreck my car one more time, I'll handcuff and gag you."

I glared at him and opened my mouth to protest, but this time he cut me off.

"Quiet!" I shut my mouth and looked down at my lap.

Calm down, Jake. A pissed of Edward was more dangerous than Leah when she had PMS. My anger was ebbing away slowly and I waited for him to start 'explaining'. I'd listen to him, sure, but who said, that I'd believe him. It was rather unlikely. I turned my gaze to the window. If he tried something funny I'd jump out and call Alice to pick me up.

"So, by your harsh reaction, I take it that Alice did not tell you." Edward started the engine again and sped off onto the road.

I bit my lip, so much for jumping out of the car. Fuck!

"About the marriage ...", he paused and I watched him out of the corner of my eye, "I thought it wasn't that important to tell. After all I do not love her."

"As if!", I snarled angrily. "Don't fuckin' lie to me!" I was tired of all the lies.

He glanced at me, his response was calm. "It's the truth. I would never lie to you, Jacob. You're the most important person in this world for me."

I really wanted to believe him, so much, but my brain told me that this wouldn't make any sense. Who would marry a person who one doesn't love? And if he, by any chance, didn't love this Bella, why did he marry her? Nowadays people were free to marry whomever they wanted. Unless, Bella forced him. This could be possible to a certain degree, but there was this thing with her being pregnant. This fact destroyed the forcing-into-marriage-part.

I gulped my anger down and tried to act civil. "So, why did you then marry her? Because I don't believe this shit about me being the most important one for you. She wouldn't be your wife, if this was true."

Edward let out a long sigh. "I'm going to tell you the reason, but you have to promise me, that you won't interrupt me. Listen quietly and when I'm finished, you can yell at me. Okay?"

I nodded. "Okay. But try to make it sound at least a bit plausible." I watched his hands on the steering wheel.

"Thanks." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a packet of chewing gums. He threw it into my lap and I put one into my mouth. I loved chewing gum. It always calmed me down. Edward knew it. "Bella and I know each other since kindergarten. We were best friends in high school and even college. I always had brotherly feelings towards her, but she felt more. In college she told me one day, that she was in love with me, but I told her, that I only saw her as a friend, a sister. She accepted my answer and we kept being friends. A few months later she quit college and started her career as a model. I finished college and got a job as an architect. We continued being friends, but due to our jobs, we often hadn't as much time as before." A sadened expression crossed his face. "One day Bella called and told me, that her father, Charlie, had a heart attack. I immediately climbed into the next plane. When I got to the hospital, Bella seemed to be shattered. She couldn't stop crying and I couldn't soothe her. The nurses had to drug her, because she didn't want to sleep. We stayed four days in the hospital, but Charlie's condition didn't get better and Bella's got worse. She refused to eat. Although I had to get back to work, I decided to take a holiday and stayed with her. She was still one of my closest friends and she needed me at that horrible time." He paused and seemed to think.

Wow. Was all I could think at that moment. This seemed to be hard for him and I could understand it. I felt the urge to put a hand on his for comfort as he continued.

"A week later Charlie wanted to talk to me, alone. I asked a nurse to watch Bella for a moment and went into his room. There were so many machines attached to him and he couldn't even breath on his own. I felt really sorry for him. He was a kind person and treated me like the son he never had. And I kinda saw him as a second father figure." A tear was glistening in the corner of his right eye. I wanted to kiss it away. "As I sat down, he opened his eyes and tried to give me this big happy smile of his. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it, as he slowly spoke. 'Edward, I already told you this like a millionth time but I have to say it again. You are the son, I never had. I care deeply for you and I want you to be happy. You also know how much I love her. After Renee died in the car accident, Bella was the only thing left. I watched over her and tried to be a good father.' 'You are a good father', I said, because he really was. Charlie smiled at me and squeezed my hand back. 'Thanks, boy. I have only one last request, before I leave. Will you grant this old man one last wish?' He looked up at me, with this big brown eyes full of hope, which he had passed down to his daughter. 'Anything, Charlie.' I gave him a warm smile. At this point I had sealed my future.' Edward whipped the tear off his cheek and put his hand down on the gear selector.

I watched it a few seconds, debating if I should touch it. My whole body screamed at me, that I should, but my pride told me not to. My anger was long gone, pitty occupied now its place. Oh, screw the pride! I placed my hand warily on top of his and gave him a caring smile.

Edward seemed surprised but relaxed a bit. I didn't say a word and waited for him to continue, because I promised to listen. "'Would you please watch over my beloved daughter, when I'm gone. You saw, how bad her condition is right now. I don't want to imagine, how much worse it will get, when I'm dead. I can't leave her alone, she needs somebody by her side. Edward, son, you are the only one, who I trust enough to look after her. I want her to be happy.' I nodded at him. 'Please marry her. Bella always dreamt about being your wife, nothing would make her more happy.' I gave him a smile. 'I'll make her happy.' But inwardly I knew, that I would never be happy. A nurse entered and hushed me out. That was the last time I saw him, alive. Three days later his funeral took place. I proposed to her at the evening. She was so cheery. For the first time after weeks she fell asleep on her own." He turned his head and looked at me for a second. "I love her as a sister and a friend, but I couldn't give her what she wanted. She knows, that I don't feel in the same way as she, but I cannot leave her alone. I made a promise to Charlie and I'm going to keep it." He turned away and looked ahead. "But you have to know, that the only one, whom I want to spend the rest of my life with, are you."

My eyes widened at his words. Did he really just tell me that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me? "You ... aren't joking, are you?" I asked carefully because I wasn't sure, if my mind only just made fun of me.

The corner of his mouth twitched into a half smile. "No, I'm not joking, Jacob."

This was everything I needed to know. "Pull over."

He gave me an irritated look but obeyed.

After the car was standing on the side road, I put the gear selector on P mode and turned the ignition key so that the car went silent. Then I grabbed his shirt and pulled his face towards mine until I felt his cool lips touching my warm ones.

I had often dreamt about kissing Edward. I always wondered how his lips would feel on mine, how he would taste and if it would happen someday. I briefly wondered, if it was only a dream right now. Maybe. But even if, the feelings I had were worth it: immense happiness and perfection. The prefect combination of feelings one could have. I could die happily now.

Edward put a hand on mine, which caused me to let go of the fabric of his shirt. As he pulled away from me, I opened my eyes and gazed into his green orbs, which were full of unspoken emotions. A ringlet of his bronze hair, which was always in a mess, dangled above his right eye. I examined the pale tone of his skin and delicate curves of his cheekbones, down to the thin and delicious looking lips which I had tasted only seconds before. I licked my dry lips at the thought – I wanted to kiss him so badly.

"Thank you." A warm smile spread over his lips.

I blinked at him. "For what?"

He cupped the side of my face with his hand. "For believing me." His thumb carressed my cheek and I leaned into the touch. It was pleasant.

I gave him a big smile. "I'm sorry. I didn't know about this side of your past." I looked back into his eyes. "I should have listened first. But I was so confused and sad –"

"And not to forget furious."

I rolled my eyes as he grinned. "Yeah, furious, too. But Bella really got on my nerves."

"Because she hates you."

I raised an eyebrow. "Why? I didn't do anything ever to her. Except for puking on the carpet. Was this her favourite one?" She could easily let it get cleaned, I didn't eat anything which should be hard to get out, sadly.

Edward let out a laugh. "No, silly. She knows that I'm in love with you. She was furious, when she realized that you were the Jacob from the chatroom. During your rest she wanted me to kick you out, but I told her that Alice and Jasper would leave too. She then said that you could stay but only if I ignore you."

"Fuckin' bi- ... witch!" I grumbled. "Thanks to her I felt like shit. I was scared, that you only played with me." I played with the hem of his shirt. "All I ever wanted was to meet you in person. I wanted to be with you. I even would have traveled over the whole continent, only for a moment with you." I felt myself blushing under this intent gaze which he was giving me right now.

"Jake ..." He cupped my face in his hands and leaned forward. Our lips met for the second time this day. It felt so right, him kissing me.

I grabbed his shirt at the sides and pulled a bit. A soft tongue ran across my lips, asking for entrance. I tilted my head a bit and opened my mouth eagerly. Edward smirked at my reaction, I could feel it. But right now I didn't care. Only him being with me mattered.

A groan escaped me as our tongues rubbed against each other. Edward slid his hands down my sides and stopped at the end of my shirt.

Was he ready for this? Was I ready for this? I pulled away and gazed into his beautiful eyes. They were wild with desire, longing and ... love. I gave him a bright smile.

We both were ready.

"I love you." I mumbled against his lips and nodded towards the back.

- - F I N - -

yes, that's the end ... no I'm not kidding ^^' I'm sorry, if you expected a smex scene. I'm not good at writing a love scene, especially not in a foreign language v.v Maybe some time in the future ... maybe. But I have a tip: Use your imagination ;3 they're better than my crappy writing style xD

Anyway, thank you all for reading this story, I'm so glad, that there are people, who have patience – thanx =D –throws cookies in the air–

If there are any questions left, pls ask, because there will be a christmas special as a sequel coming. I don't know the date yet, hopefully still in this year xDD' I'll try! If you want, I can send you a message, when it's out, because I'll put it as an extra story. (only aimed at the reviewers)

The title will be 'Just one chaste kiss for christmas' and it'll be dedicated to kute-kat509 – your review made my day, thanx :3 (she(?) was the only one, who guessed about the marriage thing) oh and btw: your guess about Edward not being the father of the child will be answered in the special xD

Until then, I wish you a Merry X-Mas and a Happy New Year :D