This is really more of just a drabble chappie, but it's there because of my theme. Breaking Benjamin! No, jk lol. Though there are going to be songfics every other chapter, if I have my way. And if I have more of my way, they will all be BB songs! Yay! Lol. So, this is Jake just contemplating things. Yeah. Put to music, sort of. Next chappie, things will start to perk up! Yay! There's a surprise at the end of the next chappie, so be anxious… It'll be here sooner than ya know it!

Warning: angst? Sorta…

Disclaimer: Me no own Jake or Seth or the Twilight series. I also don't own Dance With the Devil by Breaking Benjamin, or Breaking Benjamin. I just own this plot, and… uhm… a really nerdy Twilight poster! :P

_

Here I stand,

Helpless and left for dead…

When you're dying, there's a lot you think about. One of the things that was always on my mind was Seth. He sat beside me that whole time, no matter how hard it was for him. I remember his tears. His despair. I know how hard it was for him. To stand by me, waiting for me to die. Of course, that's what we were both expecting. Sam made it in time, by some miracle. Oh well.

Close your eyes,
So many days go by…
Easy to find what's wrong,
Harder to find what's right…

It felt like days out in that forest. We were completely secluded. On any other day, I would've loved that fact. But not then. No, the pain was too much to bear. Pain from my injuries, pain from hurting Seth. Pain from the memories, and from the thought of my short life. So many experiences lost, so much time. I have a large appreciation of living now. It's much more precious than I ever thought it could me. So is time.

I believe in you.
I can show you that I can see right through
All your empty lies,
I won't stay long,
In this world so wrong!

Part of me thinks I can get past this. That it's just like a cold; nothing major. But from the way everyone in the pack looks at me, and Dad… That hope, and that thought; they just die away as if they never existed. They think I'm broken. I can't take it. It makes me just want to run.

Say goodbye,
As we dance with the devil tonight…
Don't you dare look at him in the eye,
As we dance with the devil tonight…

God, having a near-death experience is like selling your soul to the devil. It's dangerous, obviously. It hurts. And it tears you apart. You calculate everything differently. It's not that I'm afraid of dying; it's just that a new instinct has been born into me and I can't shake it. I guess it's gonna be permanent. Oh well.

Trembling,
Crawling across my skin…
Feeling your cold dead eyes
Stealing the life of mine…

I think the weirdest thing about this whole experience is that I've finally let go of Bella. I mean, I really did love her. But with all that time to contemplate, I kinda had an epiphany. She's just never gonna love me back. Ever. And with Seth already being there, I've let her go. I have Seth to fall back on, so to speak, but that's not what he is to me. He's… My world. He's the only one who stayed.

I believe in you.
I can show you that I can see right through
all your empty lies,
I won't last long,
In this world so wrong!

Time is the enemy, in my opinion. Time is taking too long. Oh, the irony. I guess I just want more of it. Werewolves and vampires don't age. Eventually werewolves will again, but it's a lose/lose situation. When you aren't aging, everyone around you is. While you're aging, you and everyone else around you are aging. You're dying since birth. The human condition. It sucks that we can't all just stick around a bit longer.

Say goodbye,
As we dance with the devil tonight…
Don't you dare look at him in the eye,
As we dance with the devil tonight…
Hold on…
Hold on…!

So, sitting in a hospital bed, this is what I've had to contemplate. Bella, life, time, the attack, Seth, love, paralysis, imprinting, how everyone behaves around me… I should probably study or something. Do something that isn't going to make me suicidal or more depressed.

Say goodbye,
As we dance with the devil tonight…
Don't you dare look at him in the eye,
As we dance with the devil tonight…
Hold on…
Hold on…

Contemplating gets boring. So I guess that means it's time to read. So I pulled out a book that Dad brought me. Dark Desires by Christine Feehan. Sounds weird. Probably something he borrowed from Leah, or something… God only knows…

Goodbye.

Yeah, this really is just kind of a filler… I hate to say it… But it had to be done. I had to do something in Jake's POV, for one. Two, I had to use this song because it's been BUGGING ME so bad! I love this song so much.