Tragedy and pain changes people. So does love and kindness. People are not made of stone no matter how hard they may try. This has been the study of much literature. Take "A Christmas Carol" and the story of Hades and Persephone. No matter how hard we try to frown and be apathetic in the end we always end up laughing. Unless you're dead, but then it doesn't really matter when you're dead does it? And I don't presume to know anything about martial arts or how they work, or proper medical procedure for that matter, though I'm sure you already knew that.

He was right, she was such an idiot. She had accepted this, but frankly there was more to life then what side you're on. She was not the kind of person who could just kill in cold blood when it wasn't necessary. And even though Neji had called it weakness, she just couldn't bring herself to cross that line. She would always try to do her duty by her village and the people that she loved, but not at the cost of her soul. There was to much to risk when you went from being a warrior to being a murderer.

She had decided in her heart that he wasn't a threat, that she could trust him not to hurt her. So far she was justified and now was coming to trust him in her mind too. Even if he was totally silent she could sense his heart break, she wanted to know how he had come to this place but kept from asking. She figured he was the kind of man that would tell you when he was ready, she wouldn't push him in any case. Somehow she knew that she needed to take it slow with him, call it a woman's intuition or what you will but she felt that it would be worth it. If she tried to pry whatever had cracked his heart and resolve could destroy him. There was so much to him, and not just his looks. She wanted to know; but she would take it one step at a time. Because that's what they both need right now.

Gai-sensei had said that you have to adapt to each challenge. Well that mixed in with things about 'youth' and 'lotus blossoms' and whatnot, she had learned over the years to filter out the useful bits from the nonsense. Gai-sensei was smarter then people gave him credit for. She was coming to realize a lot of things now that she could look at it from a distance. For the most part she had decided that she had been childish. If she had wanted help so badly then she should have asked for it and been more straightforward instead of meek like she had been. She had talent, she should have pursued it. If you want something you have to go and get it, not wait for it to fall in your lap. So that had been her fault. Sure it would have been nice to not have to ask but there it was, life didn't always turn out the way you want or expect.

Maybe she could do the same with Kakuzu. She didn't have to know the important things. She was more interested in him as a person anyway.

It was still raining. It was refreshing, it was easier to forget the usual humidity of Fire Country when it was raining. Besides, she liked the smell. Wet earth was kind of tangy and thick and it left your nose feeling tingly, she liked it. The only thing she didn't like about it was Kakuzu's occasional need to use the nearest bush. Of course she helped him, she couldn't not help him at this point, she was just glad that they didn't talk about it. Though it didn't look like he cared at all, she was probably over thinking it anyway. It was a natural part of living and nothing to be ashamed of, and if he wasn't then why should she? All she had to do was make sure he didn't stumble on his weak legs and fall on his face on the way there. She had a lurking suspicion that there was something wrong with his leg beyond just weakness. He should have been able to shake it off by now, it had been two or so days. What if it was broken? He would have said something, wouldn't he? But the more important question would be if she could fix it if it was.

She sighed and ran a hand through her hair and turned to look back out at the rain. It looked like the rain was letting up a bit, it would be over as soon as it started she figured. When it did she would go and buy him some clothes, she was sure she was more uncomfortable then he was about his lack of clothing then he seemed to be, but for her sake it would be rectified. She wasn't exactly sure why it bothered her so much considering her team was all male and Gai and Lee had a tendency to do humiliating things in the 'spirit of youth' on a regular basis. Maybe it was the 'mysterious' and 'dangerous' qualities that led her to stare at him. Though how 'silence' exactly equated 'mystery' she wasn't sure but all she knew was that she wasn't as good at being subtle as she had thought she was. The last time she had gotten a good peripheral view of him he was staring right at her. She had been really embarrassed and now they didn't talk or look at each other. At least she didn't. And even though she was fully aware of what a shy little girl she was being, she still couldn't bring herself to do anything about it.

Neji wouldn't even be in this situation and Lee? Well she had a feeling he would have done a much better job than she had of not screwing things up. For everything she missed them. It was so hard to do everything on her own, but wasn't that what she had wanted? Hadn't she wanted to be respected and admired? But now all she had was a fucked up murderer sleeping in the same tent as her. The realization comforted and unnerved her simultaneously.

So was her own strength only proportional to her teammates? Could she ever go solo? Yes. Yes she could. She was 'going solo' now wasn't she? They were both safe, she was competent enough as a field medic, they weren't wet or starving. She was doing a pretty damned good job if she did say so herself.

But what was it about him that was so alluring to her anyway? Because that was what it was. She had to admit she was more then just curious, she was attracted. By what was another question entirely. He wasn't exactly handsome by normal standards, he had probably murdered twice the number of people Kakashi-san had just based on the age factor, he had been part of an organization aimed at bringing her home, and all shinobi countries really, to it's knees, and he was apparently apathetic to nearly everything. What kind of combination was that for potential boyfriends? She hated to even use the words 'boyfriend' and 'Kakuzu' in the same sentence, it was just wrong. But he was a man, surely there was more to him than death and taxes right?

It was part of human nature to seek out friendship. Or at least some form of interaction. God, wasn't that what she had been doing in the first place by saving his life? And Gaara was the perfect example, aside from herself she snorted, he was Kazekage now and the reason there was such a strong alliance between Suna and Konaha. If he could change, so could Kakuzu right? No, no, no, no, no, this was wrong. She shouldn't try and rationalize this, she didn't want to change anyone, she just wanted to have her vacation.

Who was she kidding? He was fascinating and she had already decided in her heart that she liked him, wanted to help him. Denial would get her nowhere. She didn't want to be hurt again, but lying to herself was a surefire way of getting hurt. So then by trusting someone for once at least she would be aware when it happened. Right?

He needed her, that was a fact, and she supposed that as long as she was being honest with herself, she needed him somewhat too. Maybe this was why she had been so depressed, she was just lonely and here he was, totally dependent on her. He couldn't leave, at least for now... She was so pathetic. She had already screwed herself over and what even made her think he would be interested in her in the first place? 'Oh! I can change him! Love is the answer!' What a joke, get your head out of the clouds Tenten. So yet again she had given without any hope of getting. Yet again she found herself useless and at a loss. Yet again silent tears were making their way down her face. Why couldn't she even control that? Why couldn't she at least keep her shame and pain to herself. Though it wasn't like she had to worry, he wouldn't say anything she was sure. He hardly spoke to her at all, even though they had been in this godforsaken tent for the last four goddamned days!!

Calm down Tenten, this too shall pass. Don't just throw it all away because you're angry and upset. What was Ino always saying? 'There are plenty of fish in the sea. You just gotta know how to reel 'em in!' Thank you Ino for that priceless bit of insight. Stop it Tenten. This was never your problem to begin with, you made it your problem and to expect anything out of it is just childish. After he's well enough he'll probably be out on his merry murdering way anyway. Just hold it together until then, don't give him a reason to think you're anymore of an idiot than he does already.

She dearly wished she had somebody to talk to, isn't that all she really wanted? Just someone who could understand. Like a mentor? Yes, not a lover, a teacher. And it wasn't like the village was so desolate and barren of shinobi that they couldn't even scrape together a couple general mentors was it? Whatever, she would just have to keep on pulling herself up by her own bootstraps, that is if she were wearing boots, but that's beside the point. "Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." If she quit then she would lose everything, and how could she bring herself to lose when she had come so far already? Or to lose what she hadn't even gained yet. Maybe she could be at least friends with him.

Or more likely maybe she could use Kakuzu to her advantage, surely he knew something of value about the Akatsuki that she could use. She could at least try right? And if he gave her that deadpan look she would just say it was payment for room and board, he'd go for that. She hoped.

She knew it was an empty excuse, but she wanted something from him. She just wasn't sure of what yet. She didn't know anything. How could she touch something that didn't seem to be solid for her?

She wiped the tears from her cheeks with agitated fingers.

Then she took a deep breath and let it shudder it's way through her lungs. And then another. And then another.

~O~

He couldn't figure her out, what had she meant by not knowing what she was doing? Hadn't this all been some sort of plot to coerce information out of him? She must at least have had a vague notion of using him somehow. But that look in her eyes, what was that look? It was vaguely similar to the look on his victim's faces when they knew they were going to die, but he hadn't made any attempt or even talked to her unless necessary. It wasn't the same in any case. And then on top of that he had caught her repeatedly staring at him, and her looks weren't those of disgust either. What was she trying to do? Why did he even care? Why had she healed him when it was in her every best interest to kill him?

He closed his eyes in annoyance and shifted off his right leg, it hurt and it wasn't just the dull ache of pulled muscles or tendons, it felt like at least a fracture. Gingerly he touched his ankle, he was probably right, there was a lot of swelling. He would have to ask her to look at it, but he didn't want to talk to her at all. She made him nervous, since he couldn't read her. And since he couldn't read her with any certainty, he couldn't make a plan around her either. He felt somewhat trapped, he had to rely on her, especially now that his ankle might be broken, and he couldn't predict her. What if she decided to attack him? How would he know? Did she have any tells? How would he be able to tell when it seemed that her moods changed so often? Like a sputtering flame.

She had sat in front of the tent opening for the last four hours since 'breakfast' now, he had counted. He had caught her looking at him again, he had also seen what looked suspiciously like tears on her face, what in the world was running through her head? Again he felt a twinge of something clenching in his gut. Hidan had been so easy to read, so easy to handle. He had become too complacent, yet another reason he had been defeated. He grunted angrily and shifted his leg again.

Absentmindedly he began to rub his ankle, what was he going to do? He couldn't stay here with her, but he couldn't leave either. He hated being confined like this, by the rain, by his body, by her. But he had no choice, he hated that as well. And what was with her anyway?! Why was she so quiet? Didn't women like to chatter endlessly? What was she thinking? Was it about him? He pushed harder on his ankle as he grew more frustrated and angry and finally gasped in pain. His head whipped up as she finally turned around and looked, in turn at his face and then down his arms to his ankle. Her face was strangely calm, hadn't she been crying? What was going on? He didn't understand her at all and on top of that he had hurt himself.

"I missed that. I am so sorry, does it feel broken? Is it just sprained? How much does it hurt?"

This was another anomaly, just like the last time he could hear the concern in her voice and it wasn't shaking like she had been crying. Why did she care? Why did he care. He watched her, disgruntled and annoyed, as she took out her book again and flipped through it. The sound was irritating. He found himself staring at her fingers. When she settled on a page she looked up at him expectantly. She was kneeling directly in front of him which brought her eyes directly level to his. They were so brown, like the rain-soaked dirt outside. For a moment he blanked and just stared at her face.

"Kakuzu?"

"I think it's fractured."

"Alright then, give me a moment."

She turned back to her book, her fingers were very slender but calloused he noticed. If her scroll labeled 'Weapons' was any indication she used taijutsu. He turned his head so that it looked like he was looking outside and took in her body. The way she was so little and yet there was obviously muscle under the surface. She had a delicate neck, it would be so easy to snap it in one of his hands. He took in the way her overcoat stopped just before coming to her wrists and how he could probably encircle them with only his thumb and first or middle finger. It amazed him that she was a kunoichi at all, she didn't seem to have the right build at all. But he knew from long and personal experience that appearances were deceiving.

"Ok, if it's really fractured this might take a while, but I'll be careful." She shifted so that instead of kneeling she was sitting cross-legged in front of him. "Can you put your foot in my lap?"

He paused, should he let her? He didn't think there was a problem with that, if she did anything it was just his foot and then he would kill her. Problem solved. He lifted his foot very carefully into her lap and then watched her warily as she carefully removed his sandal, one of the only articles of clothing he had left, and gently felt his ankle with her fingertips. The probing hurt but was oddly soothing at the same time. He clenched his teeth when she pushed chakra from her fingertips into his ankle, he could tell she wasn't doing anything but the intruding chakra was uncomfortable. After another minute of what he could only assume was examining she paused and grabbed her book again. It was another ten minutes of her reading and nodding to herself before she shut the book and turned to his ankle again. She probed it one more time and turned to him.

"It's a pretty big fracture, plus you've not only strained the muscle but there is a small tear too. It'll be hard but I can do it. I'll heal the tear first, I'll try to be careful."

He merely nodded and fisted his hands. He was used to pain. Her fingers glowed green and she touched her fingertips to a place near his fibula, he grunted as she began to repair the tear. It didn't hurt as much as he thought it would, he concentrated on her chakra. It felt like mud hardening on his in his foot. After hardly any time at all she looked back up at him and wiped the sweat from her forehead.

"That went a lot quicker then I thought it would. All that's left is the fracture, once that's healed the swelling will go down too, but you still shouldn't walk on it." It was amusing how seriously she was taking this, her brows were furrowed and everything. He felt a compulsive need to touch her face, but he squelched it with slight alarm. Shinobi don't fall for the wiles of kunoichi, ever. Or their own emotions.

"Ok, this will be the painful part, and you might want to hold something." His gut clenched. "Basically what I'm going to do is force the bone back together and then sort of meld it. Like melting metal but not quite so... graphic. I'm sorry I'm horrible at phrasing this the right way."

He just looked at her, those eyes. He closed his eyes and nodded, he needed to get a grip on himself. He wasn't ready though. With a crunch it felt like his ankle was on fire all over again. He ground his teeth and a forced growl escaped him. He felt like strangling her but kept himself under control. He wasn't used to anyone other than himself healing him, just another bit of his control slipping away. But it hurt, was she doing it on purpose?! He slammed a fist into the ground beside him, control! Control. Breathe, one in, one out. That's better. He finally registered that she was panting, and the sweat was again rolling down her forehead.

"It... it's done!"

Her hands were still on his leg, she was leaning on him, trembling a little bit. He was startled to find he liked that weight on him and without thinking he ran his fingers through her hair. She jerked her head up and gave him a long measuring look.

"You know I was thinking about what you said earlier, about being an idiot. I think you're right."

What?

"I was also thinking about how good it was to be needed for once."

Even though it was true he found that he was slightly offended, him need her? Any other time and she would have been on her face begging for mercy. She was looking down and idly tracing patterns on her knee. He remained silent.

"This is just a onetime thing I know, but it was nice. Nobody has ever needed me before. Back at home it's almost like I don't even exist, not even my own sensei spends much time training me. It was getting to me you know? Being invisible, and I try so hard too. To be somebody that they can be proud of, to be somebody that would have no regrets. In a way it's almost like I was supposed to find you, I know better, but that's what it feels like. So I guess what I'm really trying to say is... thank you."

He was stunned, that's what she had wanted this entire time? Just to be recognized? That's why she had been so stupid? That's why she hadn't just killed him and moved on? What was this? Some kind of joke? What the hell was wrong with all these leaves?! He grasped her arm, he didn't know why he was doing it but it bothered him that she would confide all that to him. That village was screwed if they all trusted people as implicitly as she was trusting him. Him of all people. He sighed, it was better for him that way at the very least.

"Don't worry about that, strength isn't gained from having friends, you have to work for everything by yourself. It's better that way."

She looked up at him, "How is that possible? How can I learn if I'm all alone?"

He squeezed her arm mildly, "You watch."

She reached up and rested a hand on his, Konaha must be a seriously messed up place, but he found again that he liked her touch. She sighed.

"I guess to some degree you're right, but not totally. There must have been somebody that was there for you when you were growing up."

He quickly drew his hand away, he never thought about the past. It just made you weak. It didn't matter what had happened in the past, only what happened in the present and future.

She reached back for his hand. He let her take it. This future might be worth the effort of staying calm.

"I'm sorry, that wasn't polite of me." Bizarre. "Life is pretty messed up isn't it?"

You have no idea girl, no idea. He didn't usually care unless it was the name of a bounty or part of a job, but he wanted to know her name now.

"What is your name?"

She blushed, "You don't know?"

He narrowed his eyes at her, "Am I supposed to be telepathic? How should I know your name when you never told me?" Stupid girl.

"Ahahaha, uh, well, it's Tenten."

"Last name?"

"Tegatai."

He didn't know, nor recalled, anyone by that name, she must be of common birth. No matter, it wasn't like he was going to sell her. He was amused to notice that she was blushing again, why would she react like that?

She scratched her neck, a sign of unease or embarrassment, interesting. "Well, uh, you need to stay off that leg for now ok?"

"Very well Tenten." If it was even possible her blush deepened. Him? Was he affecting her? He chuckled under his breath, pleased. What strange tastes she had. Plus she was still holding his hand.

Her fingers were fidgeting within his grasp, and her hand was very warm he noted. He liked this seeming power he had over her, as well as the fact that she still hadn't pulled away. To be honest it was somewhat exciting. Even though he was old, the way people reacted and behaved towards one another wasn't, especially in regards to himself. The last time he had had a lover had been almost too long ago to remember. What was she to him? Only a handful of days and she had him excited? Not that sex was ever not exciting, but that he had cared about her problems was strange. What was this odd power that all leaves seemed to have? What made them so different besides them being both suicidal and sentimental?

That didn't matter now, what mattered was that he still had her by the hand. Before she could react, he pulled on her hand and twisted her around so that she sat in his lap. Ah, this feeling never got old. There was something so attractive about a woman's body. He wrapped one arm around her waist and one around her neck and rested his face in her hair. She still smelled like soap and musk and all she had done was let out a surprised huff of air. She wasn't fighting or squealing, interesting. He took another deep breath.

"I wonder what you got yourself into?"

"I don't know, but it's exciting."

He didn't even know what to say to that. Or why he should bother anymore in the first place. His meaning had been completely lost, did she understand nothing? Or maybe she understood all too well. He would have to find out. He let her go and she turned to face him. Her face was still red but her eyes were bright, and far more animated then he had seen them before.

"I'm going to go buy you clothes, what size are you?"

He carefully crossed his legs, testing her work, and looked at her. At those eager eyes.

"Just buy the largest size you can find."

She laughed and his breath caught. It didn't sound like bells or any kind of crap like that, it came from her gut. Kisame laughed like that, Hidan laughed... used to laugh like that. Like life wasn't hell and there was greener grass on the other side. He would find out now.

"Alright. It shouldn't take me too long. I'll leave some food out for you so you don't get hungry while I'm gone."

She stood and after summoning him more of those... protein bars... strapped a small pouch to her leg and bound up her hair. He liked it better down.

"Goodbye Kakuzu!"

Hearing her tell him goodbye left an odd feeling behind and he found himself stupidly waving back at her as she disappeared into the trees.

He then remembered that he hadn't asked her to buy him a mask.