This is something I came up with right after reading Bleach Chapter 383. It was written very quickly and if the writing sucks... oh well, this was never meant to ba masterpiece anyway. Really, I'm just happy Tousen isn't just Aizen's lapdog anymore. XD

Enjoy.

Disclaimer: Clearly, I don't own Bleach.

Tousen's New Power

"I never thought I'd see the day I was defending someone from you,"

Komamura's words rang in Tousen's head.

"No," Tousen thought. "You fail to see… I fight for justice. What I am doing is for the greater good. You are a fool for thinking otherwise, Sajin Komamura,"

Tousen made a well-controlled slash at the spiritual entity before him, one he recognized as Hisagi. Judging by Hisagi's movements and the blades that whizzed past Tousen's head, Hisagi was using Kazeshini's released form. Tousen nimbly evaded his attacks, noting that using shikai was something Hisagi did only as a last resort. Despite now fighting on opposite ends of the front lines, Tousen couldn't help but feel a stab of pride for his former Lieutenant. His shunpo had greatly improved and he now wielded Kazeshini with a deadly accuracy.

Just as he prepared a counter attack against Hisagi, Tousen sensed a massive reiatsu a mere moment before it struck. Recognizing Komamura, Tousen deftly leapt backward, skidding across the hardened reishi under his feet.

Tousen inwardly cursed. He had evaded real harm by a fraction of an inch, but Komamura's attack had left a gash on his shoulder. He felt the wound with his opposite hand, and felt slight relief upon realization that it wasn't deep.

The three shinigami began to prepare another round of sparring, but before any of them had an opportunity to move, a solid wall of rieatsu crashed into them like a tidal wave.

"That's Aizen-sama," Tousen realized. "He's fighting Shinji Hirako," He contemplated the irony of the situation for the briefest of second before commenting to his former comrades; "I'm surprised. Aizen-sama is on the front lines himself,"

He turned to Komamura and Hisagi, making brief note of their foreboding. "If Aizen-sama is fighting, then I suppose it's time to unleash my true power-"

Komamura cut him off sharply, "Your Bankai? Very well. I too, will release my-"

Tousen scoffed. "Bankai? Don't make me laugh." He lifted his sword, and began to slowly advance on Komamura and Hisagi. "Aizen-sama… has bestowed upon me a power far superior to Bankai,"

Komamura's yellow eyes widened, his pupil dilating to tiny black pinpricks. "Tousen- You can't mean-"

Komamura never finished his sentence.

Tousen disappeared behind a massive whirlwind of rieatsu. An immense fluctuation of Tousen's rieatsu and caused many people to glance away from their respective battles and focus all their attention on Tousen, whose reiatsu was increasing at an alarming rate, and showed no sign of stopping.

Everyone's attention in the Fake Karakura Town was now fixated on Tousen, with the exception of Aizen and Shinji, who were sparring mercilessly.

With a sudden explosion of light and sound, Tousen appeared behind the whirlwind of rieatsu. His hair and robe were billowing wildly in the wind, and his zanpakuto was nowhere in sight.

Everyone gasped in unison as Tousen began to transform before their eyes. His white robe a changing… it was slowly forming in to a light brown trench coat and his sandals were replaced with heeled boots. His hakama transfigured themselves into garishly striped bellbottom pants. His visor turned itself into a set of overlarge bright orange sunglasses, and his hair broke free of its dreadlocks and curled into a large, spiky afro with monstrous sideburns.

There was a brief moment of silence, in which the entire Gotei 13 gawked at the former captain of Squad Nine. Kensei looked up from his battle with Wonderwiess and gaped openmouthed at his former subordinate. Soifon dearly wished she had gouged her eyes out instead of slicing off her arm, and hid behind Omaeda to block the ghastly sight. Even Aizen and Shinji were now staring at Tousen with identical dumbfounded expressions, their battle all but forgotten.

Then the true horror began.

The hardened reishi under Tousen's feet flashed different colors at a sickening speed. Deafening, synthesized notes began to issue from all directions, highly reminiscent of an overwritten 80's pop ballad. Tousen himself pulled a microphone out of his ass and began to sing:

"We're no strangers to love…

you know the rules, and so do I…"

Realizing what was going on, every member of the Gotei Thirteen, past or present, put their hand over their ears and began to loudly protest Tousen's attack. Rose, in particular, seemed to be in a world of pain as he writhed and twisted in an attempt to block Tousen's Rickroll from his ears. Soifon now wished she had punctured her eardrums instead of slicing her arm off, and was dismayed to realize that, with only one arm, she could only cover one of her ears.

However, Tousen's surprisingly deep baritone voice drowned out all complaints, making all those present subject to his Rickroll attack.

"Never gonna GIVE YOU UP!

Never gonna LET YOU DOWN!

Never gonna RUN AROUND and DESERT YOU!"

"Ahh, Kaname…" Aizen started towards him, his hands over his ears. "I…I think that's quite enough-"

"Never gonna MAKE YOU CRY!

Never gonna SAY GOODBYE!

Never gonna TELL A LIE and HURT YOU!"

Aizen recoiled, clearly rethinking the whole 'Rickroll Attack' idea.

Komamura could only stare in complete astonishment at his former comrade, whom he thought looked horridly ridiculous in his 70's garb. Hisagi had sunk to his knees, hand over his ears, trying to fight the power of the Rickroll.

Shinji's face was contorted into a massive grimace, while Kira seriously considered impaling himself to escape from the blatant horror of Tousen's new power.

"Never gonna GIVE YOU UP!

"Never gonna LET YOU DOWN!"

Mashiro wailed in protest, while Hitsugaya and Ukitake could only gape in absolute shock, their eyes twitching. Yamamoto looked thoroughly humiliated at the behavior of his troops.

"Never gonna RUN AROUND and DESERT YOU!"

Shunsui seemed to be enjoying himself immensely.

After about an hour of this, all the troops had retreated either back to Soul Society, or back to Hueco Mundo, the power of the Rickroll too much for them to bear.

And that is how Tousen won the battle of Fake Karakura.

A/N: I have nothing to say.