Notes: This is my first Merlin. Not sure if I will write other stories, I'm pretty devoted to my Oliver/Chloe on Smallville. But I have Gen to thank for suggesting this couple to me. I got sucked it.

He threw his leg over, mounting the horse behind her. Her shoulders pushed back, causing her back to pull away from him and straighten. He felt his jaw clench in response to her cold behavior, but he refused to acknowledge it. He turned his head to Merlin. "Are you sure about this?"

"Yes." Merlin nodded. He caught the speculative look in Arthur's eye. "Don't look at me like that."

"Sure." Arthur gave the horse a gentle nudge into a slow canter. The ride back to Camelot would be at least thirty minutes. Thirty painful, long, excruciating minutes of sitting behind the woman that haunted his thoughts and dreams night and day. The silence was awkward, made even worse by their close proximity. It wasn't that they hadn't begun to mend things, because they had. But the comfortable relationship that they had found themselves in previously was gone and instead replaced by a strained one. Finally, he couldn't stand the silence any longer. "I find it odd that you of all people have nothing to say." She always had something to say.

"I'm concerned for Merlin." Gwen lied, fisting her hands in the horses mane. She wished he would have just offered her the horse, or even made her walk, she was a servant after all. It wouldn't have been unfathomable. But even Arthur in his arrogance wouldn't have allowed a woman to walk, even a servant. Walking would have most likely been more preferable then forcing her back strait for such a long period of time.

She could have been telling the truth, but Arthur didn't believe Merlin in any immediate danger or he wouldn't have left him behind. "Merlin will be fine."

"It would figure you would not have any concern for his safety." She snapped her mouth shut as the words left her mouth, grateful that he couldn't see the blush on her cheeks. As usual her mouth got away from her. She saw his arms pull back on the reins and felt her heart begin to pound in her chest as she noticed the horse come to a stop.

Arthur dismounted the horse and stared up at her. "Down."

She opened her mouth to speak, then quickly shut it. His face was firm. He wasn't asking her. She wanted to tell him no, but ultimately he still was her prince and she couldn't deny him. Hesitantly, Gwen brought her leg over. As she moved to dismount he stepped forward, hands encircled her waist, and lifting her down. She breathed in sharply in response, but his hands left her waist just as quickly as they had touched it.

"Let's have it Guinevere." She looked away from him and bit her lip. He brought his hands up and waved towards himself. "I'm not talking to you as your prince, just Arthur."

"I have nothing to say sire."

He ground his teeth at the fact that she didn't call him by his name. Under normal circumstances someone would call him sire our of respect, but from her it was only an insult.

"Well we're not going back to Camelot until we sort this out." He glanced at the horse then back to her. "I suspect we have enough rations for three days." He cocked an eyebrow at her, waiting for her response. Her cheeks colored, and he could see the anger flooding her face.

"Then I will be walking." Gwen lifted her skirt and turned away from him. His hand was on her arm though, pulling her back around to face him."If you would please unhand me sire."

She was trouble, he already knew that. Pushing the subject would only make it worse for them. "You won't speak to me."

"It is best."

"Well I didn't think you'd take it to such drastic measures." Arthur pursed his lips and glanced away.

"I'm only doing what would be appropriate for someone of my station." He turned back to her sharply, narrowing his eyes.

"That's foolish. I know better then that."

"Forgive me for being foolish then sire."

Arthur growled and turned away from her, taking a couple of steps to put some distance between them. Breathing deeply he pinched the bridge of his nose. Turning on her again he stepped forward again, she took a step backwards to move away from him, but he grabbled her arms to hold her in place. "Don't start playing those games with me now Guinevere. You've never once felt the need to before."

"I don't understand what it matters what my feelings are. You're the crowned prince, I'm only a servant."

"Don't go down that road again. You know we are past that. If your feelings didn't matter to me I wouldn't be holding you hostage in the forest trying to get you to say one honest word to me. Stop hiding behind being a servant."

"I'm not hiding behind being a servant." Her voice shook, a result of both their close proximity and his impassioned words. "I am a servant, and that is where the issue lies is it not?"

He ground his teeth together, knowing that she was right, but that still didn't add up to her indifference to him. "No, I don't believe that is the reason for your indifference." She tilted her chin up in defiance. "You're angry with me."

"I am not."

"Yes you are, something I did angered you. Tell me."

"I would not, even if I was angry."

"We aren't leaving here until we sort this out Guinevere." She didn't respond.

"I don't see what difference it makes." Gwen argued, hoping to eventually convince him to let it go.

"Because I can't take it." He said firmly, his hands tensing on her arms with unspent emotions. "Because regardless of the fact that I have to keep my distance I can't bear the thought that you are out in the world angry with me."

It was his desperation that ultimately broke her. "You hurt me." Her chest tightened with the admission, almost smothering her heart. The last thing she wished was to reveal how much he had hurt her, how much he had affected her.

"When?" He said softly, barely able to speak at the thought that he had caused her any pain.

Every time he looked at her he hurt her, but she wasn't prepared to admit that to him. Sure his inevitable denial of her was painful, but it wasn't only that. "It was your indifference. I thought-I thought you cared, at least as a friend, but it had taken Morgana's influence to persuade you to rescue me."

He swallowed, barely able to make it past the lump in his throat. His anger had been unwarranted. She had done nothing to deserve his treatment of her. He'd given her no reasons to resist any other man's attentions.

"If you would please sire, let me go." The tone of her voice was weak and pleading. She hated the sound of it, but if he released her she wouldn't care.

He'd let her go, and then she'd move on from him again, treating him with the same lack of emotion, tearing at his heart. "I-." There was no way for him to ease her pain except to reveal the true meaning behind his words. It scared him, for her to know how deeply he felt for her. "You hurt me."

"No." Gwen shook her head, denying it. "I didn't-"

"I disobeyed my father out of concern for your safety." Arthur began, already feeling himself losing his heart to her as he spoke. To be so exposed to her, it scared him. "It had nothing to do with Morgana. I feared for your life."

"But you-."

"Lied." Arthur swallowed and looked down at her, pleading for her to understand. "To see you with him..."

His face twisted, brow drawing together as he spoke. Jealousy. It was all so simple, but ridiculous at the same time. The thought that the crowned prince would be jealous of the attentions another man was giving to a servant seemed ludicrous.

"You cared for him...and that hurt."

"That had not been my intention, to hurt you." Gwen whispered softly at seeing the pain on his face. She'd seen that look before, but she just hand't recognized it.

"No matter. You care for him regardless, and as much as I don't want to believe it I know that he is much better suited for you. That he is honorable and brave, and all the things you deserve, and he could make you happy, and most of all there is nothing holding you back." He could hear the pain in his own voice. There was no hiding it now, how desperately he had fallen for her. "I'm sorry I caused you pain. It was my fault."

His hands fell away from her arms, and just as he moved to step back she brought her palm to his cheek. "Arthur." He stopped mid turn, and slowly turned back to face her. He should have pulled away, but she was touching him, just like he had dreamed of so many nights.

"I've tried." Arthur admitted softly, the dam finally breaking. "To put this out of my mind, but I must admit, I can not. You-you're with me all the time, so much that I can not bear it." Her thumb brushed over his cheek and he found himself lifting his hand up to his face and settling it over hers. Slowly he pulled it away, intent on stepping away from her, but instead he took a step forward, and stopped the descent of her hand at his chest.

She could feel his heart beating underneath her hand.

He thought she might pull away from him, after all he'd never done anything for her, but her hand fisted in his shirt, and her eyes looked up at him, almost pleading. He brought his free hand up to her cheek and cradled it in his hand, tilting it gently back and angling her lips up towards his own.

"But you said..." Gwen whispered with hope in her voice.

"I know." He closed the distance between them. This time when they kissed it wasn't just the gentle pressure of her lips to his own. He sucked her bottom lips gently at first, then searched at her lips with his tongue. She opened herself to him, whimpering in the back of her throat. Her response only urged him on. He released the hand on his chest, and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her flush against him.

When he kissed her it was intense, full of passion and need and desperation. The way he kissed her, it was the way she felt, the way she wanted to be kissed. She clung to him, scared that if she let go he might disappear. She'd lain awake so many nights, stared off into space so many days, dreaming of being in his arms and feeling his lips on hers again. Then what seemed like only seconds, but was mostly likely minutes, he pulled away. Her heart thudded in her chest with fear that he'd pull away again, leave her with the same words he had previously. "You shouldn't..." Gwen began, already coming back to reality. "You can't."

"I don't care." She wouldn't meet his eyes. Sliding his hand from her cheek he buried it in her hair and tilted her head back.

"You can't say such things."

"I can." Arthur shook his head in denial. "I thought before I could go on like this, but I can not. I don't want anyone else."

Gwen looked down against, unable to meet his eyes, but his hand was on her cheek again, tilting he her back and then he rested his forehead against her own, making it impossible for her to look anywhere except into his eyes. "Arthur..."

"I don't know what I'm going to do, but I'm begging you to wait for me. Let me find some way. I won't desert you again. But I can't bear the thought of you being with another."

"What way is there?" Her voice shook and her body trembled slightly.

"I'll find it, but I won't have another woman." Arthur cupped her face with both hands. "I'm not asking you to be my mistress, I'm asking you to one day marry me. I don't care what your station is, I'm not going to live the rest of this life without you. You make me a better person, you make me feel..." He felt himself falter for a moment. "I love you, and I can't do this without you."

Her breathe came out with a stutter. "You swear?"

"I swear."

"I love you too." Gwen said breathlessly, meeting his eyes for the first time without fear. "I don't want to be without you either."

He brought her lips to his against, kissing her with all the need a passion that filled him. He'd find a way. It didn't matter what he had to do, but the thought of waiting until he was king to have her as his own was unbearable. Whatever the cost, it didn't matter.

As they rode back she relaxed against him, back pressed to his chest, and her head leaning back against his shoulder. He kept one arm wrapped securely around her waist, holding her tightly to him, with her own arm over his, lacing her fingers with his own. He knew now that he couldn't fight his feelings for her; instead he had to fight for her.