A/N: Hello all! Hope everyone had a fabulous Thanksgiving! So I thought it would be kinda cool if we jumped right into the holiday season with this little tale that parodies two of my favorite Christmas films. Just a crazy idea I got back in September and have been developing ever since, so this could either mean I've hit a home run or contrived the weirdest combination EVER! Somehow I feel it's gonna land somewhere in the middle.

So between November 27th and December 24th, and with a total of 6 chapters, one of the craziest yet heartwarming Christmas fanfics starring our favorite young heroes will be unravelled. Hope you enjoy the first installment!

Chapter 1—'Twas the Night Before

"At last! World domination is within my evil grasp!" bellowed the blue-skinned mad scientist, waving his hands in triumph. He held up a cylindrical, see-through container, which appeared to contain nothing but empty air. "With the Translucent Nuclear Fusion of Uranium, I will create the ultimate weapons of mass destruction!"

"There's a mouthful," snickered the pale-faced woman wearing a green and black cat suit. "Ya think we could've stolen something with a shorter name?"

"Zip it, Shego! After tonight, the only name that will be of any importance will be 'Dr. Drakken, Supreme Ruler of the World'!" Drakken chortled in triumph. "And this time, Kim Possible, not even you or your buffoonish boyfriend can stop me!"

"This is so embarrassing," Kim Possible groaned as she sat bound tightly against her partner-slash-boyfriend, Ron Stoppable. For six years, the famous teen duo had fought crime around the world and faced a lot worse than the two villains before them. Kim was totally over getting captured. Heck, they were hardly even "teen" heroes anymore. Kim was eighteen, Ron had turned nineteen a few months earlier, and both had become freshman at the University of Colorado in September. Granted, it had become harder to accept missions once the college work had piled on, but she was still Kim Possible, the girl—young woman—who could do anything. And it wasn't long before she had gotten the call from Wade—Drakken and Shego were at it again, this time in a major government facility conveniently closed for the holidays.

The fact that Drakken would try something on Christmas Eve was beyond low, being that this was Kim's absolute favorite time of year. She had had the whole evening planned out: dinner with the family, singing Christmas carols, Snowman Hank, the annual skit, and later some intimate time with Ron in front of the fireplace. If they were lucky, they'd make it back in time for Snowman Hank—for Ron's sake.

"I am not missing Snowman Hank this year, Drakken!" Ron yelled as he struggled against the bindings. "Twenty-nine minutes and fifty-two seconds 'til it starts!"

"Ron, you own the DVD," Kim pointed out, fumbling in her utility belt for something to cut them free.

"No way, KP," Ron said grimly, his eyes narrowed. "I've watched Snowman Hank at 7:30 every Christmas Eve since we were four, and that's one tradition I'm not about to break!"

"I'm gonna break your neck if you don't stop complaining and help me get us out of here!" Kim snapped as she failed to find her laser lipstick or any other helpful device in her belt. "Can't you use your monkey powers or something?"

"I still don't have full control over them yet," Ron said seriously. "If I try and use them right now, I might hurt you trying to break the ropes."

"Fair enough," Kim said with a scowl.

"Switchblade…in my belt…" Ron whispered out the corner of his mouth as Drakken paced close by.

Kim gritted her teeth to fight back a roar of frustration, "You could've told me that earlier! And since when do you carry a switchblade?"

"Since graduation; I didn't want to tell you 'cause I knew you'd freak," Ron replied. He giggled slightly as Kim's hands began to roam around his waist searching for the knife.

"Oh, grow up," Kim said with an eye roll as she flicked open the blade and began hacking at their bindings.

"So, Team Possible," said Drakken, his pacing ceasing as he stood with his back to them, "Perhaps you are wondering why I wanted the TNFU—"

"No, they're not wondering! And do not stop and tell them!" Shego cried out, grabbing her hair in frustration. "Are you ever gonna learn that when you start explaining your plan, they always—?"

"Escape?" Kim suggested slyly, the ropes falling away as she and Ron stood to face their opponents.

"See?!" Shego exclaimed to Drakken, who cowered as her plasma hands flared up. "And who's gotta clean up your mess every time?! Me!" With a fierce growl, she flung herself at Kim as they engaged in combat. Ron ran at Drakken and attempted to grab the cylinder as a tug-of-war ensued between them.

"Hope you don't mind if I end this quickly," Kim said, pinning Shego to the floor, "But Ron and I have got some Christmas Eve plans to get to."

"Ugh, I don't even wanna know what you guys have planned," Shego groaned, still not over the fact that the two least likely people in the world to ever end up together had actually ended up together. No sooner had she spoken that a familiar four-tone ring was heard coming from the pouch in Kim's belt. Leaping off of Shego, Kim grabbed her bluetooth headset from the pouch and slapped it on her ear.

"This better be good, Wade!" Kim yelled as she ran to avoid Shego's plasma blasts.

"Kim, it's Monique!" came the familiar voice of her best girlfriend.

"Monique? Uh, listen, this really isn't a good time," Kim said, trying her hardest to keep the annoyance out of her voice.

"You're on a mission? On Christmas Eve?" Monique asked in disbelief.

"Don't ask, I'm totally tweaked about it," Kim said through gritted teeth, ducking behind a beam as Shego continued to pursue her.

"Well, you guys are coming to the party later, right?"

Kim gasped, mentally kicking herself. She had completely forgotten about Monique's Christmas party. "Uh…listen, Monique, I have plans with the Fam and—"

"So come afterward!" Monique encouraged her. "Come on, it's everyone's first chance to be together since college started."

"Look, I don't know how long this is gonna take!" Kim exclaimed as Shego scorched the beam hiding her from view. "We may be here awhile, and then everything with my folks and…Monique, I just don't think we're gonna make it."

"What?! Come on girl, you gotta come! Just for like an hour or—"

"If it were any other night we would, but we can't, alright?!" Kim shouted, no longer monitoring the aggravation in her voice. "Maybe we can get together some other time."

"It's the one night all your friends are here, Kim," Monique said in somber disappointment. "Ain't no time like the present."

And with that, she hung up, leaving Kim feeling a fresh mixture of irritation and guilt. She had no time to sort out her emotions, however, as Shego leapt in front of her and shoved her roughly against the wall.

"I got her!" Shego called over to Drakken. "Pack up the Nuclear Do-Hickey so we can get outta here!"

"Having difficulty with that at the moment," Drakken grunted as he attempted to pull the cylinder out of Ron's grip.

"Ron, whatever you do, do not drop that container!" Kim cautioned him, trying to pry Shego's hands off of her. "We don't know how dangerous that chemical could be when it's exposed to the air."

"Will do!" Ron called back, inching ever so closely to the control booth the mad scientist had set up in the government building.

"Watch out for the controls, Dr. D!" Shego shouted. Kim took advantage of her distraction, kicking her in the stomach and sending her flying into the opposite wall.

"Shego, she's escaped!" Drakken called, throwing up his hands in defeat—and in doing so, releasing his hold on the cylinder. With a loud yelp, Ron fell backward onto the control booth, activating several switches at once. The cylinder flew from his hand and hit the floor with the resounding crash of breaking glass.

"Drakken, you idiot!" Shego cried, picking herself up form the ground, at the same time Kim screamed, "Ron, what did you do?!"

"Whoops," Ron and Drakken said at once, the floor beneath them beginning to rumble as the familiar self-destruction alarm began to sound.

"Geez, let's got outta here!" Shego yelled over the alarm. She grabbed Drakken as their henchmen lowered the ladder on their escape helicopter. Ron scrambled back onto his feet, he and Kim rushed to stop their archfoes from getting away, but, as usual, it was too late.

"Ta-ta for now, Kimmie!" Shego called out as they flew off, the foundations of the building beginning to give way. "Looks like your whole future's crumbling around you!"

Kim grabbed Ron by the arm and they jumped from one of the broken windows, each firing up their rocket boots so they could land safety on the sidewalk below. They hit the ground running as far from the government facility as possible, just as it erupted in an explosion of fire and smoke.

"Whoa," Ron said, "close call, huh KP?" He laughed nervously and looked over at Kim, who returned his gaze. And his girlfriend certainly found this sitch anything but funny…

"KP...? C'mon Kim, you can't stay mad at me all night."

"Oh yeah? Watch me."

Global Justice's jet had dropped them off directly in front of Kim's house, where the outside Christmas decorations were in full glow. Wrapping her coat tighter around herself, Kim walked towards the front door keeping her head bowed against the swirling snow—and her eyes averted from Ron, who ran behind to keep up with her.

"Okay, so I messed up on a mission," Ron said once they'd ducked inside, removing his jacket and hanging it on the rack. "How many times has that happened?"

"How many times have you caused an entire government research lab to collapse, costing hundreds of people their jobs, Ron?" Kim said angrily, roughly removing her coat and whirling around to face him. "What part of 'whatever you do, don't drop that container' didn't you understand?!"

"Drakken made me drop it, you saw it happen!" Ron defended.

"You could've kept a stronger grip on it; you knew how important it was that we kept the Translucent Nuclear Fusion of Uranium safe!" Kim went on. "I felt like a complete idiot in front of Dr. Director when I had to tell her what you did!"

"Look, I'm sorry, but Drakken was the one who—!"

"Kimmie? Ron? What's going on in here?" said Anne Possible as she came into view, holding a dish of mashed potatoes.

"We can hear you both yelling from in the kitchen," her husband James Possible added, setting down a bowl of cranberry sauce on the dining room table.

"Sorry," Kim said, flinging her scarf on a chair as she made up the stairs for her bedroom. "Mission went south—thanks to Ron."

"Not my fault!" Ron yelled up the stairs before heading into the bathroom to change out of his mission wear. Neither of their moods had improved once they had both changed into more casual attire and entered the kitchen, where the entire Possible clan, including Kim's Nana were helping prepare dinner.

"I got the turkey, Mrs. Dr. P.," Ron said, settling himself in front of the bird on the counter at one end of the kitchen. Kim deliberately moved to the opposite end and picked up a pan of green bean casserole, "And I'll take care of this."

"You're gonna cook?" Ron asked in disbelief, his eyebrows raised.

"Yes—I can do anything," Kim replied icily, sprinkling a few spices over the dish before her.

"Except cook," Ron muttered under his breath, and Kim shot him the Look she usually reserved just for Bonnie Rockwaller.

"Now Kimberly, Ronald please," Nana said calmly as the couple resumed their silent treatment. "It's Christmas Eve, and we should put all of our bad feelings for eachother aside—especially two young people who care about eachother as much as youboth do."

"Sorry Nana, but I'm not feeling very caring right now," Kim said sourly as she twirled the dial on the oven, then shoved the casserole inside and closed the door. "I'll go help the tweebs set the table," she announced, brushing past Ron and heading towards the dining room table, where Jim and Tim were having a swordfight with two of the butter knives. "Hey, cut it out!" she called to them as she began to pass the plates around each seat.

"So you're mad at Ron because he dropped a cylinder of Uranium?" Jim asked, setting a fork next to the plate she had just set down.

"Yep," Kim replied simply, moving in the other direction.

"And made the building explode, and now the chemical is destroyed and hundreds of people working for the government are unemployed now?" Tim added, setting a spoon and knife on the plate's other side.

"Yep," Kim answered still more simply, though felt a horrible pang in her stomach at having been reminded just how big of a blunder it was.

"And now he won't admit that it was his fault?" Jim continued, confronting his sister on her other side.

"What is this, twenty questions?!" Kim finally exclaimed, setting the remaining plates down with unnecessary force.

"Well, Ron's messed up before, hasn't he?"

"Not this bad," Kim said, her arms folded tightly across her chest.

"Still, he goes with you on all these missions and puts his life on the line," Jim said.

"And he's always had your back, no matter what," Tim added.

"If you remember all those times in the past—"

"—then you won't feel so bad about what's going on now."

"Okay look, what's going on between me and Ron is between me and Ron!" Kim said sharply. "And I don't need my brothers poking their noses into something that's none of their business!"

"We just wanted to help," Jim said, shrugging his shoulders half-heartedly.

"Wait a sec…do you smell smoke?" Kim asked, holding up a hand to silence them. No sooner had she spoken that the smoke detector began to beep loudly, and several gasps came from the kitchen.

"The casserole!" Anne cried out.

Kim swore under her breath and bolted into the kitchen, coughing as she inhaled the smoke emitting from the oven. Someone shoved her roughly out of the way—Kim seethed when she realized it was Ron—and pulled the pan out of the oven.

"Is it still…uh…edible?" Kim asked, staring at the brown and black mess that had once been a green bean casserole.

"What do you think?" Ron said, giving her a withering look. "Dang it, Kim…what temperature did you set oven at?"

"Well I figured we wanted it cooked quickly, so I, uh—"

"Set it on high?!" Ron finished for her, glancing at the dial and throwing up his hands in exasperation. "Why didn't you ask me which setting to cook it on?"

"Maybe 'cause I don't feel like talking to you right now," Kim answered quietly, but coldly. Her parents and Nana stood between them, looking from one to the other as if watching a tennis match.

"Yeah, well now I don't feel much like talking to you either," Ron said in a softer yet firmer voice. He made to leave the kitchen and head for the door when James stopped him.

"Ronald, Kimmie, this is supposed to be family occasion," he said, taking Ron by the shoulders. "And you are family." Ron gave him a half smile, then headed into the dining room. Kim rolled her eyes and still refused to make eye contact with him.

"Kimberly Ann Possible, I do not like your attitude," James said firmly to his daughter. "Now you and Ronald are going to have a pleasant evening in each other's company, or so help me I will ground you for the rest of your Christmas break."

Kim sighed deeply, uncrossed her arms and slouched into the dining room, settling herself across from Ron. If Dad had actually been on that mission, she thought, he wouldn't be feeling so forgiving towards him…

Ron had never felt so tense and uncomfortable eating a meal in his life. The adults had engaged in pleasant conversation, while he and Kim barely spoke to eachother. "Boy, I sure wish I had some green bean casserole to go with this stuffing right about now!" he had expressed loudly, causing Kim to glare at him, gripping her fork lethally. A few moments later, she had smoothly retaliated with, "I feel so sorry for all those poor people who won't have jobs to go back to after the holidays!" Jim and Tim had even stopped flicking peas at eachother to watch them, as if waiting for a huge blowout to occur. Ron almost wished she had yelled at him. Anything would be better than this cold silence she was giving him now.

It was almost midnight; the lights in the Possible living room were dimmed low. Nana had fallen asleep in the armchair, Jim and Tim were having a contest chugging down eggnog, and Kim, Ron, and her parents had been flipping the dial on the TV between A Christmas Carol and It's a Wonderful Life. Halfway through the films, Ron had taken a chance and slipped his arm around Kim's curved frame, and to his great relief, she hadn't pulled back. Maybe things have cooled off now, he thought as he watched Harry Bailey make a toast to his "big brother George…the richest man in town!" Maybe I can have a civilized conversation with her now.

"Kim?" he said tentatively. She didn't look at him, she watched as her father changed the channel, and now Ebenezer Scrooge was laughing and dancing around his bedroom on Christmas morning, rejoicing at how "the Spirits did it all in one night!" Ron pulled his girlfriend a little closer, kissing her cheek tenderly. "I love you, Kim…" he said almost hopefully.

"Oh, do not play the 'I Love You' Card, Ron," Kim said sharply, speaking for the first time since dinner. "Just because we got a little cozy on the couch doesn't mean you're out of the woods yet."

"KP, Drakken's the one who made me drop the container, that's why the chemical's gone," Ron said, feeling his voice rising slightly.

"Oh sure, blame Drakken, that's the easy way out, isn't it?" Kim said in a louder tone as well. "Right after I told you not to drop the Uranium—lo and behold, you dropped it!"

"Hey, sometimes even the star running back has a butterfingers moment at a crucial point in the game—"

"Oh great, now you're giving me football metaphors—I don't believe this!" Kim had slid to the other end of the couch, staring Ron down and shaking her head. "Ron, you messed up…and you messed up bad."

"Look who's talking, Miss-I-Can't-Handle-One-Dish-Out-Of-The-Entire-Christmas-Eve-Dinner!" Ron shouted, jumping up from the couch. James had begun to rise from his chair, but Anne placed a hand on his arm, giving him a look that said "let them work this out themselves."

"You're gonna rub that little mistake in my face after your big fiasco?!" Kim yelled, jumping up as well to face him. Now Jim and Tim had ceased their eggnog contest to look over at the heated discussion.

"You could've burned the house down if me and your folks hadn't been in the kitchen!" Ron retorted. "What is with you, Kim?! You've been touchy like this ever since Wade called us on this mission!"

"Well, I really didn't want to have to work Christmas Eve!"

"Well, for someone who loves Christmas so much, you sure are acting like a real Scrooge!"

"You know what?! I don't have to listen to this!" Kim finally screamed, and now everyone was awake and alert to what was going on. "You're in my house, and I can throw you out!"

"Fine, I was gonna leave anyways!" Ron yelled back. He stomped towards the door and grabbed his coat off the rack.

"Good! And you better write a sincere letter of apology to the head of the government facility!" Kim called out, following him towards the door.

"And you better go back to using the Easy-Bake Oven to make all your meals!" Ron shouted, flinging his scarf around his neck and wrenching the door open.

Kim let out a roar of frustration, "How come every time something goes wrong on a mission, it's always you?!"

"If it means that much to you, then fly solo!" Ron yelled over the howling wind. "I quit!"

"Fine, quit! I can do it all myself!"

"I wish I never even started going on these missions!"

"I wish I never even met you!"

It was the first statement that shocked both of them into silence. Kim placed a hand over her mouth, as if stunned that those words had actually left her lips. But no more so than Ron; her words had cut into him deeper than the Lotus Blade being plunged through his chest. He wrapped his scarf tighter around his face and headed down the snowy street—but not before Kim had seen the tears brimming in his eyes. She went back inside, slammed the door shut and pounded up the stairs to her bedroom, ignoring the looks of shock on her family's faces.

"Kimmie?" Anne's voice called as she watched her daughter ascend the stairs.

"Just leave me alone!" Kim screamed down the stairs as she reached the landing, then whirled around to enter her loft room.

"So…was that a break-up?" she heard one of the tweebs ask.

"Tim, quiet!" Anne scolded him, but Kim didn't miss the trace of sadness in her voice.

Ron quietly opened the front door to his house and slipped inside, removing his jacket and scarf and heading into the living room. He stopped however, when saw that his parents were gathered around the Menorah, lighting one of the candles and singing a prayer softly in Hebrew. Maybe it was because what Kim had said to him was still fresh in his mind, or that he rarely saw his parents together and peaceful like this, but the sight before Ron caused the tears he had been holding back to spill down his cheeks.

"Hey there, son," his father said cheerfully, after he and his wife had finished their Hanukkah ritual. "How was Christmas Eve at Kim's?"

Ron cleared his throat, "Well, it was…uh…actually, I'm really tired. I think I'm just gonna turn in for the night."

"Ronnie, what's wrong?" Mrs. Stoppable asked, when she noticed her son had been crying. "Is everything alright?"

Ron swiped hastily at his face and forced a smile, "Yeah, mom—couldn't be better. I'll, um…I'll see you in the morning."

"Alright then, goodnight sweetheart," his mother said, though still didn't look entirely convinced that everything was fine. Ron slumped up two flights of stairs to the attic, where Rufus squeaked happily upon his arrival. But as he watched his master throw himself despairingly onto his bed, clutching his pillow in his arms, the little mole rat knew that something bad must have happened.

"I blew it, Rufus," Ron said quietly, "I really screwed up on that mission, and now Kim hates me. She wishes she never even met me."

"Aw," Rufus squeaked sadly, patting his master's hand consolingly.

"Naw Rufus, I think she meant it," Ron sighed. "I mean, she's right. I always screw up at the worst possible times on these missions, and it's holding her back!" He got up and walked over to his chest of drawers. Opening up the top drawer and placing his switchblade inside, he found a small, green velvet box next to it. He smiled, pulling it out of the drawer and opening it up. Inside was a gold ring with tiny emeralds embedded all around the band…the jeweler had called it a promise ring.

"I was gonna give this to her tomorrow, buddy," Ron said. "I was gonna tell her I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life." He took the ring out of its box and held it between his thumb and index finger. Swallowing back the hard lump forming in his throat, he let it fall into his palm and closed his fingers around it. "But I guess that's not gonna happen now…"

Kim tossed and turned for what felt like the eightieth time in the last hour, but she still couldn't get to sleep. Years ago on Christmas Eve, this would have been because she wanted to see Santa Claus fly up to the roof with his reindeer and sleigh. This time, it was an entirely different matter—and not a happy one at that. She still couldn't get this awful evening out of her head: the mission debacle, blowing off Monique and her party, burning the casserole, and practically breaking up with Ron…all on what should have been the happiest of evenings.

Why couldn't Ron have just admitted that he screwed up? She supposed it was because of what happened at graduation. Since the Lorwardian invasion and Ron defeating them, she had begun to see him as her equal, her partner and not just the sidekick or the distraction, or worse the "loser" or the "buffoon." But sometimes heroes make mistakes…and Ron had made one heck of one. He had needed to hear it from her, and if she had gotten a bit harsh with him, then so be it.

But to say that she wished she'd never met him? Had she really meant that when she said it? Could she even imagine a life without Ron…?

"You know, she probably would've had a better life without me," Ron said half to himself. "She said she could do the missions all by herself—and she's right! She could! She can do anything! Why does she even bother to call me to go with her on every mission? What did I ever do, except get in her way?! In everyone's way! I'm still the loser, the outcast—the buffoon!" Still clutching the ring in his hand, he opened the attic window wide and stuck his head out into the cold night air…

I wish I never even met you!

The words rang loudly in Kim's head as she finally dozed off…the digital clock on her nightstand changed at that moment from 12:59 to 1:00…

"This whole world would be better…if I hadn't been born at all."

Ron threw his arm holding the ring back and prepared to launch it into the winter air, when a deep, commanding, and all-too familiar voice stopped him:

"You sure you wanna do that, Stoppable?"

A/N: Please read and review!