"Reid," Caleb's voice was the first thing I heard after that gawdawful statement.

"I'm naked?" Was the first thing I said after that gawdawful statement. I raised the sheet slightly, staring down at all the familiar bits and pieces and then staring at the unfamiliar bits as I gaped at naked Caleb.

"You're naked," I muttered, not lifting my gaze from the nirvana before me because, seriously, first time I'd seen a naked guy up close and Caleb was blowing my expectations out of the water. "Is it supposed to look like that?"

"Look like what?" Caleb diverted from whatever he was trying to say to Reid to lift the sheet and peer right along with me. He anxiously examined his bait and tackle before raising his gaze to look at me.

"What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing," I replied, chewing slightly on my bottom lip as I craned my head to get a different angle. "I'm just not used to it being so…"

"Close? Naked? Real?" Reid supplied, sounding kind of annoyed in the world beyond the sheets.

"Flat," I replied bluntly, raising my gaze to look over at Caleb who appeared to be utterly gobsmacked by my declaration. "Isn't it supposed to be doing something?"

"Like what?" Caleb asked, looking at me like I was some sort of evil creature. "Sit up and dance on command?"

"For starters," I agreed, turning to look some more only to be jerked from my curiosities by a new voice.

"Hey Reid, I checked out the barn but Caleb wasn't there because Caleb's here," Tyler finished, blinking in surprise at the eldest son. "And why is Caleb here?"

Reid shrugged his shoulders.

"The bigger question is why are they naked," he supplied, causing Tyler's head to whip around as his gaze fixated on me.

"You're naked? Let me see."

"NO!" I yelled that part, already on the move, tearing the sheet from Caleb's grip and wrapping it around me as best I could while trying to move backwards and away from a slightly too cheerful Tyler.

"You stay away from me or I'll…" I trailed off as Tyler's lips quirked upwards in an inappropriate smile.

"What's the big deal?" he stated, obediently halting his forward motion as he shoved his hands in his pockets and did one of those slow up and down scans that meant a guy was seriously checking you out and seriously picturing you naked. "I've already seen everything there is to see."

"Please," I managed, flushing in embarrassment. "I was only naked for like a millisecond."

"And what a millisecond it was," Reid interrupted sarcastically, drawing all eyes back his way. "But can we get back to the matter at hand. Why were you naked in bed with my girlfriend?"

"Oh, so now I'm your girlfriend," I butted right back into the conversation. "That's rich considering you completely abandoned me last night."

"I didn't abandon you," Reid replied patiently. "I just wasn't glued to your side."

"You disappeared," I shot back.

"No, Tyler disappeared." Tyler's lips quirked again. "I simply found somewhere else to be."

"You're supposed to be my boyfriend," I narrowed my eyes in what I was hoping was an expression of righteous fury. "And you intentionally left me with him!"

I used the one hand not gripping sheets to point at Tyler.

"What's wrong with Tyler?" Reid asked, arching an eyebrow in silent challenge.

"Everything!" I screeched, almost reaching out to strangle Reid, only the fact that I had to have one hand on the sheet keeping me in line. Strangling people with what minimal upper body strength I had was hard enough with two hands – I couldn't even imagine how difficult it would be with just one.

"Ugh!" I screeched, stomping my foot in what was genuine fury now. "You suck as a boyfriend!"

"And again," Reid settled backwards, legs crossed in front of him as he smirked over at me. "I ask what's wrong with Tyler? Why shouldn't I leave you with my best friend? Do you have a problem with him?"

"He makes me stupid," I replied, not thinking. "My brain shuts down and the world goes foggy and I drool and I hate drooling! It's disgusting and impossible to look attractive when you're doing it."

"I think it's adorable," Tyler interrupted.

Aw, crap.

"You think I'm adorable?" I felt the steam go out of my sails as Tyler smiled at me, my brain sighing as that now familiar fog seemed to drift over my reasoning centers and I stared, doe-eyed and stupid at him.

"Hey," Reid interrupted. "I'm sitting right here, you know."

"Oh. Right. Boyfriend." I blinked out my haze, turning towards Reid feeling guilty and grateful at the same time. Guilty because, duh, he was my actual boyfriend and relieved because his voice drew me out of my Tyler-induced funk.

"What were we talking about again?"

"You, naked, Caleb – go," Reid sat back and waited for me to come up with a logical, sane, and complete rational explanation for this odd turn of events.

"No clue," I replied with a shrug of my shoulders. "But I'm pretty sure we didn't have sex."

"How sure?" Reid asked, expression unreadable. I shot him a look.

"Like next to one hundred and a thousand percent sure."

"I second that," Caleb replied, holding up a hand and prompting me to turn my attention back to him.

"You found pants," I noted, unable to keep a wistful sigh from punctuating that statement. "Pity."

Tyler snorted at that while both Caleb and Reid wisely ignored me.

"It was an accident," Caleb was explaining as he grabbed a shirt from the same place the pants had apparently been located. But…I squinted my eyes.

Yep. Those definitely were not the pants he'd been wearing the night before. Maybe Reid carried spares?

My gaze shifted to my boyfriend in open speculation.

"Given the givens, I'd still like to know how you accidentally ended up in bed, naked, with my girlfriend."

Caleb looked so genuinely uncomfortable in that moment that I opened my mouth to try and offer a plausible explanation only to draw a complete blank.

"I think I was drunk," I decided with a decisive nod of my head. "Yeah, definitely drunk."

"We were both drunk," Caleb supplied.

"And this is how a lot of break up stories begin," Reid inserted, causing me to blink in surprise.

"You're breaking up with me? Why?" Reid arched his eyebrows in disbelief, giving me the up and down and reminding me, again, of the fact that I was currently naked.

"Right, totally justified," I agreed. "But if we break up, does that mean we can't kiss anymore?"

I blinked my eyes hopefully. Reid was my first actual boyfriend and I had to honestly admit that while my expectations of what a first boyfriend would be like weren't actually that high, he really wasn't the boyfriend type.

"I'm not breaking up with you," Reid stated, interrupting me. I sighed at that and he shot me a suspicious look, cuing the bambi eyes once more.

"Back to the topic at hand," Tyler interrupted before Reid could say anything else to me. "How did the two of you end up in bed together?"

"Alcohol," Caleb replied grimly. "And Angel's knack for finding weak points in people."

"Weak points?" I blinked in confusion while Tyler's eyebrows skyrocketed and Reid let out a low whistle.

"Impressive. She got you…" Reid made a motion towards his back and Caleb nodded grimly.

"Damn," Tyler turned his gaze to me, a new appreciation in his eyes that had me regarding him with open suspicion.

"In that case," Reid got to his feet. "I'll be taking back custody of my girlfriend now if that's okay with you."

"By all means," Caleb made a brusque motion towards the door. "Take her."

"Gee," I narrowed my eyes, taking offense to his tone. "What a pleasant good-bye."

Caleb gave me a dark look in response.

"What? It's not like I emasculated you or anything."

"No, you only insulted a man's most prized possession," Tyler snorted at Reid's dry tone, and I managed to shoot him a dirty look only because his gaze wasn't focused on me.

"Come on, Angel," Reid reached out to touch me, his hands coming in contact with the bare skin of my shoulder and sending a jolt through my entire body at the realization that I was still naked.

"Where the fuck are my clothes?"

Fifteen minutes later I was wearing somebody's clothes, curled up in the corner of the backseat of Tyler's hummer as I tried desperately not to touch the boy in question.

"You have very nice shoulders," he murmured, eliciting a sharp snort from the front seat as I curled up even more and struggled not to give in to the urge to look at him.

"I didn't realize how soft your skin looked," he continued on. "I bet it's smooth to the touch, like silk."

I swallowed and kept my gaze fixated on the passing scenery.

"I wonder if you're that silky all over."

"Enough!" I sort of eeped, jerking around to give Tyler my best version of the crazy eyes. "What the hell are you trying to do to me?"

Tyler grinned unrepentedly.

"I told you, I think it's cute when you drool."

I narrowed my gaze at him, genuine annoyance rising when I heard a choked laugh emerging from the drivers seat.

"You're a bastard," I informed Reid, sulking as I turned my attention back to the window. "Making me sit back here with him."

"Consider it your just rewards for waking up naked next to one of my best friends."

"It was an accident!" Both Caleb and I protested at the same time.

A bad idea being a bad idea, I decided it was in my best interest not to taunt Reid for a week or two, mostly on account of the fact that he now knew my complete and utter inability to defend myself against his best friend.

"You haven't done anything crazy in a while," Reid commented one night while we were studying in the dorms.

"I'm trying something knew," I replied, glancing up from my book over at him. He arched an eyebrow, silently inviting me to continue. "It's called self-preservation."

He snorted at that.

"Angel, honey, I'm pretty sure that gene skipped out on you a long time ago."

I shrugged my shoulders agreeably. "Yes, but I still have residual effects sometimes."

"Well," Reid replied, rising from my desk chair to give me a smoldering look as he leaned over til he was in my face. "I for one hope the effects wear off soon."

"Why?" I breathed, genuinely flustered at his sudden and alarming nearness.

"I'm getting bored," Reid reached up and tugged at a strand of my hair. "I want my reckless little Angel back."

My eyes narrowed as a small spark of righteous annoyance flashed through me.

"Who you calling little, blondie?"

"What happened?" Alyssa pounced on me the second I returned from the ER. "Did you hit him and he retaliated? Is he dead? Has he been seriously wounded enough to crawl off into the woods somewhere? We can go find him and finish him off now, if you'd like – no witnesses."

Alyssa's wide-eyed fervor was making me dizzy so I held nothing back when I punched her in the shoulder.

"Oww!" She yelped, glaring at me as she rubbed her shoulder with a pout. "So he's obviously not dead if that's how you punch people. Unless you kicked him in the groin."

"Reid had nothing to do with this," I replied, holding up my broken arm. "I'm pretty sure it was Karma."

"Who's that?" Alyssa jumped on it. "Is she a knew student? How dare she touch you! I'll –"

"Take a chill pill," I was secretly thrilled that Alyssa was still one of my loyal drones, but I was getting kind of tired of the random babble. It had been a long day.

"Karma, Destiny, Fate," I continued on. "They ganged up on me."

Alyssa blinked.

"Why?" She finally asked. "You haven't been pranking people based on their names again, have you?"

"For God's sake," I threw my hands up in exasperation, wincing as I jarred my broken arm. "That was one time!"

"Ronald McDonald did not appreciate it," Alyssa reminded me, the tightness of her lips also reminding me that in addition to Ronald not particularly appreciating my attempt at humor by sneaking into his dorm in the middle of the night and super gluing a red wig and big red nose to his head while stealing every pair of shoes he had so he was forced to walk around in the huge red clown shoes that mysteriously appeared in his closet, Alyssa had not appreciated it either. First, because she hadn't been consulted when I'd executed that particular brand of genius and second because Ronald had retaliated by filling out dorm, wall to wall, floor to ceiling, with Big Macs and Fries.

Alyssa really hated fast food and to this day she still swore that her bedsheets smelled like French fries despite the fact that she'd bought a new bed frame, new mattress, and new sheets.

"It kismet," I broke in, "You know, the higher power guiding us all on our paths of destiny?"

Alyssa stared at me blankly.

"I don't believe in God," she finally stated. "You're not trying to tell me God did this to you? Cause if he did, I'll kill him myself."

I gave up, flopping down onto my bed and sighing as I stared up at the ceiling.

"So what happened?" Alyssa finally asked, duly giving my moment to wallow before subtly reminding me that as my chief minion and best friend, it was my duty to inform of her the events preceeding up to the unfortunate incident.

"Well, it all started after Reid left, I went to the café to get some food, and Tyler was there."

"Tyler broke your arm?" Alyssa perked up. "Can I kill him?"

"No," I replied, somewhat reluctantly, mostly because while Tyler hadn't broken my arm, he'd been a key factor in how I'd broken my arm.

Namely, when I'd seen him, I'd turned right around and ran smack in the wall, forgetting which side door I had entered through. Bouncing backwards, I'd stumbling into somebody who'd promptly dropped their whole tray, which seem to include every liquid known to man, on the ground. I'd deftly stepped around it, just barely managing to keep from slipping.

I'd been leaning, one arm against the wall, trying to get my breath back when I'd looked up and seen Tyler watching me with a knowing smirk.

And then some moron slammed the door open right onto my arm and I screamed bloody murder right before sending his nuts to kingdom come.

The paramedics had wisely taken him to a different hospital and Daddy's lawyers had already drafted a legal plan to keep from being sued, mostly on account of the fact that I had been seriously injured and in pain at the time of the incident.

"So how broken is it?" Alyssa asked, giving the cast a curious poke.

"Fractured," I replied, giving the cast a blasé stare. "May take about six to seven weeks for it to heal fully."

"It's," Alyssa poked at the cast again, her lip curling slightly in distaste. "Orange. Why is it orange?"

I shrugged my shoulders pragmatically.

"I was making bad knock knock jokes at the doctor was feeling vindictive." I couldn't fault the man in the least – in his position I would have done the exact same thing. Only I would have super glued neon pink polka dots on it as well.

"You need a makeover," Alyssa decided, pulling me to my feet and heading for the door. "The cast totally clashes with your hair color."

"You're not going to break my other arm, are you?" I asked, feeling nervous all of the sudden. "Cause I'd prefer you didn't."

Alyssa gave me a confused look as she opened out dorm door and ushered me out into the hall.

"Why would I do that? How would you take notes for tests if both your arms were broken?" True Alyssa logic.

"Besides," she smiled in a charming manner that sent chills of terror trembling down my spine. "What I have in mind is a much simpler solution."

"It doesn't involve a hacksaw, does it?" I asked, giving my broken arm a nervous look. "Because we've been down this road before and I don't want to go back to the psych ward. It sucked the first time, I doubt it's improved much since."

"It was an accident," Alyssa waved off my concern, happily ushering me down the hall. "How were we supposed to know hacksaw's and jet fuel don't mix?"

It was a valid point – there was no logical reason to assume that one tiny little hacksaw could blow up a parking lot.

"No," Alyssa shook her head, still smiling as she ushered me out the door. "This is the perfect idea."

I stared at my reflection in the mirror, counted to ten and stared some more before closing my eyes and praying God would just kill me now and end my misery.

"It matches," Alyssa supplied unhelpfully from the supply closet where she'd instinctively run to hide at my shriek of epic proportions once I'd caught sight of myself in the mirror.

"What is it? What happened?" Vivian, Danielle, and Zack all piled into the hair dressers office in a massive tangle of limbs. I waited patiently for them to sort themselves out, feeling put out because they were looking at Alyssa instead of me, and damnit, I was the victim here!

"This!" I shrieked, drawing their startled gazes towards my reflection.

"Oh," Danielle's lips formed a perfect 'O' as her eyes moved to do likewise.

"Holy shit," Zack breathed, looking like somebody had just punched him simultaneously in the balls and stomach.

"Wow," Vivian smiled so suddenly I leaned back in surprise. "You look….you look…."

"Don't say it," I warned, my fingers white-knuckle gripping the chair grip.

"Cute," Vivian busted out, a huge bought of laughter following that statement and sending her, hopefully dying, to the floor.

"How did this happen?" Zack was looking everywhere except me, his eyes straying my way before his face curled up in a wince and he immediately darted his gaze elsewhere.

"Her cast didn't match her hair," Alyssa supplied, her voice somewhat muffled by her deeper retreat into the supply closet. "I was trying to be helpful."

"So you did this to her?" Zack's voice hit a peculiar note as he caught himself just in time to keep from looking at me again.

This was the worst thing anybody had ever done to me in my life. I'll admit, I'm usually the crazy one in Alyssa and I's friendship, but this…

She'd taken me to the one place she'd said would fix all my troubles and now…

I had pigtails. I had freckles, I had a newly decorated pink with white hearts cast, and I was wearing what could only be described as Alice in Wonderland's blue paisley dress.

I couldn't even look at myself anymore.

My gaze glanced at the mirror once more and I let out a low moan of despair at what I saw there.

"Don't worry," Alyssa poked her head out of the storage room, ducking low in order to avoid having anymore inanimate objects thrown with force at her head. "We can fix this – we'll just have them give you another makeover."

"I'm sorry, but we're closing now," the clerk replied, her plastic smile never faltering.

"Have a nice day!"

"You don't understand," I tried to explain. "I can't go out like this, I'll die of embarrassment."

And I was completely serious. My body temperature spiked to dangerous proportions every time I saw my reflection. Pretty soon I'd start having seizures and then I'd be dead, which was a horrible way to be.

"I'm sorry, but we're closing now," the clerk repeated with that same eerie smile. "Have a nice day!"

"I don't suppose there's any chance," Zack was pulling money from his wallet even as he spoke.

"I'm sorry, but we're closing now," the clerk's smile never faltered. "Have a nice day!"

I was starting to feel a bit creeped out by both the smile and the monotone. I exchanged a nervous glance with Danielle as I debated whether or not it'd be worth it to try once more.

"Look," Vivian broke in angrily, taking matters into her own hands. "You totally ruined my friends look, you miserable excuse for a Stepford Wife! Fix it!"

We ran the whole way back to the dorm, piling into Alyssa's and me's dorm and hastily shutting the door behind us, bolting the lock into place as we stumbled back away from the door, the five of us huddling in a pile next to the bathroom doorway as we struggled with our breathing.

"We almost died," Danielle stated, still shaking.

"Never," I managed. "We are never going back there."

"Never," Alyssa agreed. "But on the plus side, at least we don't' have to worry about the dress."

"Or the pigtails," Vivian pointed out helpfully, fingering my now lopsided haircut. "I mean, if you only have one, it's not pigtails anymore. It's just a braid."

"Very chic," Zack agreed.

"What I want to know," I stated between gasps for air. "Is how she managed to destroy the dress and the pigtails and the shoes and the makeup, but not the cast?"

I held up the candy hearts coated monstrosity as evidence.

"Even psychopaths have their limits," Vivian decided after a moment.

"I'm not sure that was a psychopath," Alyssa replied, her breathing mostly back under control.

"Well if it wasn't a psychopath, what was it?" Zack bit out. Alyssa blinked at him.

"I'm pretty sure it was an alien."

"Oh God," Danielle moaned low in her throat. "We're going to be anally probed."

"She'll have to kill me first," Zack replied, dead serious.

"Look on the brightside," Vivian pointed out with a half-hearted smile. "At least we're all in this together."

We sat for a moment in dumbfounded silence.

"Did you…." I trailed off, swallowing in a desperate attempt to coat my throat with enough saliva to get the dreaded words out of my throat.

"Did you just make…" I swallowed again, "a High School Musical reference?"

Dead silence.

"Maybe?"

"Out. Now."

"But there's a psychotic alien with an anal probe – "

"OUT!"

A/N: Haven't written PotC in a while...feel like I'm a bit rusty.