A/N: *sighs* As much as I hate to say it, this chapter sucks armpits. Seriously. This is, single-handedly, the worst thing I have ever written. When I finished this chapter, I almost considered committing suicide, that's how much I hate this chapter. *jumps off cliff*

Suzaku: *cries*

Lelouch: You know she's not actually dead yet, right?

BAM!

Lelouch: Now she's dead.

Disclaimer: Thankfully, I do not own Code Geass or else we would have episodes much like this chapter.

Suzaku found himself standing in a beautiful garden. It was midnight, the time of night for lovers and magic and rapists and…fan service.

The knight looked down at himself and his fine clothing. He was donned in white pants and a white jacket, both embellished with gold lining and accents. His shirt was the most elegant emerald green in all the land. His boots, also white, were clean and gleaming. A majestic sword hung from his perfect hips.

"Hm, well…this is interesting," Suzaku said to his self.

Indeed, it was interesting. Here we have a gorgeous knight in garden filled with lilies and peonies and roses. It's a midnight, the most beautiful and sexual time of night. I think we're in need of a princess, don't you?

Suddenly, the peace was disrupted by a loud shout.

"GLOM TIME!!!"

All of a sudden, a burst of pink came from the tall bushes and proceeded to glom our poor knight.

"Euphemia?!" Suzaku exclaimed. "Stephanie put you in this story, too?!"

Euphemia giggled and nodded. "Yup, she said I could be as fanservice-y as I want. That is, as long as I promise to never cook for her again."

Euphy then proceeded to kiss Suzaku quite passionately. You could feel the sexual tension, their hormones wafting up in little pink and green waves. Anyone in their right mind would be blushing right now.

Lelouch found himself in a tower, looking out the window. He saw what looked like a pink fluffy wolf attacking the sweetest, cutest green-eyed bunny in the world.

And then, the prince hit the ground.

"GINO~!" Lelouch screeched. "Get off of me!" Why did idiots like hugging him?

"Aww, don't be that way, Lulu," Gino said, good-naturedly. Lelouch smacked him across the head.

"What did I tell you about calling me Lulu?! Only Suzaku is allowed to call me Lulu!"

Gino pouted. "But Lelouch!" He whined. "I thought we were bestest buddies!"

"Gino! You and I are not 'bestest buddies' nor will we ever be 'bestest buddies'. Now, please leave me alone!" Lelouch left the room, his cape swishing behind him.

"What the hell, Euphy?!!!" Suzaku shouted, pushing the girl off of him as gently as possible. "You can't just tackle people to the ground and start kissing them!"

"Um, Suzaku? My father controls an entire one-third of the world. I think I can do whatever I want."

Lelouch walked towards them, practically running. He had to get away from that blond-haired freak as quickly as possible. He froze when he saw their current position.

"Uh, Euphy? Why are you trying to rape my best friend?"

Euphemia grabbed Suzaku's face and shoved it in Lelouch's direction. "Cuz he's just so cute!!!!!"

Lelouch rolled his eyes.

"C'mon, Lulu. You know you want it," Suzaku bragged.

Oh yeah. Lelouch thought.

"ZAKU!" Gino exclaimed suddenly, jumping onto his fellow knight.

"GINO!"

The two knights then proceeded to do a ridiculous secret handshake involving a lot of high-fives, hip-bumping, and gentle punches. It ended with a very epic back-to-back pose and the words Friendship Action, Go!

This moment of corny friendship cheesiness was brought to you Cliché Incorporated. There's never an unpredictable moment when you're using Cliché Inc.

Gino grinned at the Japanese boy. "I'm so glad to see you, Suzaku! I missed you, best friend!"

Lelouch interjected before Suzaku could respond. "Um, Gino? I hate to break it to you but Suzaku is my best friend."

"We can share him!" Gino offered.

Lelouch laughed quite fakely. "Ahaha….no, we can't."

Gino pouted, "In that case, I think I should get Suza."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Lelouch said mockingly, "Were you and Suzaku childhood friends? Did you and Suzaku have warm fluffy ten-year-old moments? Do thousands of fangirls write hot, steamy fanservice about you two? I didn't think so."

The knight of three pouted, "Aw, Lulu. You're so mean!"

Lelouch began punching the blond boy repeatedly. "What the hell did I tell you about calling me Lulu?!!!"

Suzaku sighed. "This is sad…Gino is a Knight of the Round and he's getting his butt kicked by Lelouch? That's just pathetic."

Euphy nodded in agreement. "Sad but entertaining."

Lelouch held Gino's face in his hands, forcing their eyes to meet. "Every time I say 'fuck you', punch yourself as hard as you can."

"Fuck you," Lelouch snarled.

Punch.

"Fuck you."

Punch.

"Fu—" Lelouch was interrupted as a hand covered his mouth.

"That's enough," Suzaku said.

"Hey," Gino said rather suddenly (he had a few bruises and his lip was bleeding but he was otherwise okay), "Let's go get some ice cream!"

"Yeah~!" Suzaku and Euphy exclaimed. Lelouch merely sighed as he linked arms with Suzaku.

Hidden in the bushes nearby, a pair of twins watched the entire scene.

"Rolo!" the girl gasped, grasping her brother's arm. "They're perfect!"

The boy nodded. "You're right, Nunnally. They'll make the perfect family for us. That dark-haired boy should be our mama!"

"Yeah! And the guy with the brown hair would make a great daddy. Oooh! We can have the blond be our uncle, on our father's side of course."

"What about the whiny bitch with the pink hair? I don't like her much. What will she be?"

"Hmm," Nunnally tapped her chin thoughtfully, "She could be papa's unwanted mistress."

Rolo smiled at his twin. "Well, Nunnally, looks like we got ourselves a family."

A/N: So, yeah, before anyone comments on the random orphans in the bushes, let me just say I don't know either. I'm not really sure where that came from. It just worked. BTW, this oneshot is gonna have another part. Sorry. I know it was awful. *bows head in deep shame* Suzaku, if you would…

Suzaku: Stephanie would like to give a big hearty Gomen nasai to everyone for this sucky chapter. Thank you for reading this fanfic so far. A giant hug to all that reviewed/favorite/alerted any of her stories. She promises to do better next time!