Merlin

She had betrayed Camelot.

He knew it when the soporific spell began to work on him but she remained unaffected, protected.

He knew it when he saw she was not surprised to see Morgause.

He knew it when the Knight refused to kill her.

The dragon had said it but he had not believed him; not really. But when had he ever been wrong before?

Maybe he hadn't been there for her. Maybe he hadn't noticed what she had been doing. Maybe he should have revealed his magic to her; spoken to her when she stole the crystal; comforted her when the Witchfinder came; been the friend she called him. Maybe he should have done a lot of things. But when the Knight's sword flew toward her neck but he did not strike, when he saw the look on her face at Morgause's name, he knew.

She had betrayed Arthur.

And it was Arthur in the hallway now fighting for his life. It was Gaius lying helpless downstairs. It was he who had to do the unthinkable to save their lives.

She called him a good friend but no friendship could change what she had done without thought. No friendship could change her link to a spell that even now bound Camelot into the helplessness of sleep. No friendship would allow an alliance with someone so intent on their destruction. No friendship could change what she had done.

She had betrayed him. He would never forgive her. He would never forgive himself.

Morgana

It wasn't her. Of all the things in the world she was unsure of, she was sure of this. She knew this wasn't her fault. It could not be. She had done nothing. Met a sympathetic ear in the woods; told them of her hatred for Uther. In her heart, she had hoped someone could bring his downfall.

But she was not responsible for this.

She had spent that morning watching people fall one-by-one, wondering when she would be next, realising that time would never come. What had happened in the woods? She did not remember, really. But it was not connected. She was sure.

And yet. She was unaffected by the sleeping spell. Morgause was in the castle, leading the Knights who had risen from the Fires of Idirsholas. One of whom had had the chance to kill her and had declined.

In her mind's eye, she saw Arthur. Knowing. Saw him, like his father, strike her down without a thought. She looked around her world and saw that Merlin was her only friend.

She could not be responsible for this.

She would never do this to Merlin, who even now was succumbing to the strange malaise that did not affect her. Merlin, who protected her even as he cast suspicious glances her way. Merlin, who lied for her to Arthur, who kept her secrets. In all the world, there was one man she knew that she could trust and it was Merlin. Merlin, from whom she kept the secret of her desire for him; the biggest secret of them all.

If they were all to die, at least that she would die knowing that she did not bring this doom upon the only person left in Camelot she cared about.

She would never admit to herself that she was responsible for this.

He handed her some water. He was concerned for her health, for her wellbeing. She drank deeply, wanting to please him.

As the swelling rose quickly up her throat and she began to choke, she saw the tears in Merlin's eyes, saw him nod once to acknowledge his guilt, felt his arms around her. Those arms that she had long dreamed of being wrapped around her, were now cradling her to death.

And before she lost the consciousness she needed so desperately to survive, in one heartbreaking moment, she knew.

He had betrayed her. And if she lived, she would never forgive him.

A/N As tempted as I was to write one sentence that said, "the problem with Morgana is that winning her trust requires only a 10-second meeting and a bangle", and "the problem with Merlin is that he never realised a 10-second conversation an episode ago might have stopped this from happening", I thought I should give you something a bit more substantial. I hope you don't mind that I've tried to fit this into canon. At least not as much as I mind the BBC's shamelessly lazy writing this season.

As always, review! And by the way, I have a '12 Days of Christmas' fic going at the moment with some very strong M/M. Check it out and let me know what you think.