A/N: Ever since I got a better handle on my writing I had hoped to go back and revise a few of my old fics. I was able to do that with "Your Family Needs You" by creating "Return", and eventually I wanted to rewrite "The Loves in His Life" as well. This is the result of that rewrite; some parts are the same, some are different, and I hope anyone that has read TLiHL will enjoy this as well. For the record, this (as with all of my fics) is AU, and there may be some OOC-ness, but I am aware of that. I own nothing.

Chapter 1:

Bevelle, early evening:

The sun began to set on Bevelle Temple in its usual, predictable way. One could always tell what time it was in Bevelle when the daylight began to recede and the temple lights would flicker on one by one like clockwork, secretly letting the inhabitants know it was finally time to go home. Merchants folded their tents and packed their portable stores, heading out of town to the various places they had come from earlier in the morning.

In an office window at one of the highest points in the temple, a light stayed on, as the other indoor lights turned off in a manner similar to the ones outside. Baralai sat at his desk; papers stacked higher than his head sandwiched him between them. There would be no going home just yet for the young man. Being the second in command to New Yevon in this new Spira offered him very few chances for leisure. He didn't particularly mind; he had been at it for two years now since the eternal calm and found his routine to be comforting in contrast to his possessor's thwarted and messy attempt at making him take down Spira with his own hands.

Despite his tolerant nature towards working all hours, this night in particular made it hard for Baralai to concentrate. His mind was nowhere near the endless requests for meetings and silly desires from villagers to run mango stands outside the temple. A trip he had taken to Besaid a couple of weeks ago to visit with his friends for an impromptu bonfire brought back memories he would have liked to have kept locked deep down in the Purifico of his heart forever. Putting his pen back into its holder, Baralai pinched the bridge of his nose with his left hand and breathed a long, drawn out sigh. He gazed out of his window to the star filled sky and the memory he had longed to forget came flooding back like it happened only yesterday.

~X~

Flashback four years ago.

The events of the Den of Woe had happened on this day, and the only surviving team and its recorder sat around a bonfire on the outskirts of the Mi'ihen Highroad late that evening. They had decided that night would be the last time they would be seen together; that first thing in the morning they would all part ways in hopes of not becoming statistics themselves.

With full stomachs and heavy hearts, the four settled into their sleeping bags and nodded off one by one…or at least three managed to. After tossing around for almost a half an hour, Paine decided sleep was just not coming to her and climbed out of her sleeping bag as quietly as she could.

She made her way to a small stream at the bottom of the Mi'ihen; a stone's throw from their makeshift camp and sat on a boulder at the edge, dangling her feet in the cold, dark water. She wore only her leather shorts and tube top, thankful to be out of the heavy drape and belt buckles that made up the rest of her warrior's gear after the day she'd had. Paine splashed the water with her foot, watching it ripple and calm repeatedly, but it did nothing to relieve her of the dread and uncertainty she felt not knowing what tomorrow would hold for her and her companions, especially a certain praetor.

Her thoughts were cut off by the sound of footsteps approaching behind her. She didn't have her sword on hand, but Paine always kept a tiny dagger tucked in the side of her shorts and she reached for it, holding it close to her thigh. Knowing deep down it was probably just a rabbit, raccoon, or any other little creature that occupied the night didn't prompt her to take any unnecessary chances just the same. As the footsteps came closer, Paine continued to act like she didn't notice anything and struck when they were right behind her, knocking whatever it was to the ground with a THUD!

As she turned to see the animal she had struck, Paine was surprised to not see an animal after all, but rather a man, and he was on his back with his feet to her face. The warrior had stood up to get a better look, realizing it was the very object of her thoughts. Baralai rubbed the back of his head while he sat up and Paine knelt down beside him to examine it as well.

"I'm sorry." She said, turning his face away from hers so she could get a better look at the growing lump that was forming. "Thought you were a bunny."

Baralai scoffed. Turning to face her, he knitted his brows. "Pretty harsh tactics just for a bunny, don't you think, Paine?" He pushed her hand away from his head, placing it on the ground beside them. Noticing she seemed affected by that simple action he added with a smile. "It's ok. I'm not hurt."

"What are you doing out here anyway?" She asked dryly, bringing her knees to her chest, leaning against her friend to keep warm.

"I should ask the same of you!" He replied, leaning right back into her. Baralai himself was shirtless, clad only in the pants of his Yevon attire. He reached over to his other side, pulling up a large blanket. "Here" he said, draping it over the two of them. "I brought this with me. It felt a little cold."

The two huddled under the blanket by the water, staring up at the star filled sky for a moment in silence before Baralai spoke again. "Is something on your mind? You can tell me, you know?" His voice was soft; pregnant with understanding and concern. When Paine glanced over at him his eyes seemed to match the tone of his voice and it made her blush a little in embarrassment.

"It's nothing." She said hesitantly, trying not to let her emotions get the better of her. "Well...it's not 'nothing', but it's not important either." Paine reached for the edge of the blanket that draped on her shoulders and pulled it closer to her, not saying another word.

When talking to Paine, Baralai knew most of the time when to inquire further on an answer she gave him and when not to, but seeing this would be the last time they would cross paths for Yevon knew how long, he decided to inquire further anyway.

"Please Paine." He softly pleaded, placing his hand over hers. "Think of it like old times when we used to talk." Baralai brushed his thumb along her fingers absentmindedly, his eyes steady and focused on hers. He hoped she would remember the countless nights they spent sharing thoughts and stories about their lives, families and fears about their mission before that morning when it was realized it had all been for nothing.

Paine did not speak another word for a few moments, instead choosing to look off into the lake and the fields. She couldn't bear to look into his eyes any longer...there was no way she could ever tell Baralai that he was the reason she was the way she was, but as she sat there with him continuing to caress her hand in slow, poignant circles with his thumb it became all too clear to her. That perhaps he might have been feeling the same way? Or maybe he was just being extra nice. She knew she didn't have the luxury of time to hold off saying anything to him. Paine would have to set her treasure box of secrets aside and share this one with him. What did she have to lose anyway? It wasn't like she was ever going to be lucky enough to get to see him again.

"You really want to know?" She finally piped up, startling Baralai with her words. "I'll tell you. But if you tell the others I'm gonna beat you into a bloody stump." A chuckle came out of her at her last ditch effort to still sound cool despite her crumbling emotions. When he gave the go ahead for her to continue she scrambled in her mind to put the words in the right order but could not, forcing her to act on impulse- yet another thing she wasn't accustomed to. It seemed she was going to break all kinds of records that night, and before Baralai could nudge her more on what she was going to say Paine inched her face towards his and stole his lips, kissing him softly, taking the young man by surprise.

As if it were the most natural thing in the world, Baralai put his arms around Paine's waist and returned the kiss, shifting himself over her while both still under the blanket. They paused, and he caressed the side of her cheek, smiling down at her warmly as she blushed.

"So I'd say this was pretty important after all, wouldn't you?" He asked, moving in to kiss her once more. "The question is, now what?"

Paine smiled, a lone tear escaped from the corner of her eye and he caught it with his thumb. "I don't know..." was her uneasy reply."I didn't think that far ahead. I thought that was the navigator's job" She adjusted to his weight on top of her and played with a few stray white hairs by his right ear, and he laughed; his brown eyes sparkled like the stars above them.

"touché" he murmured, lowering himself into her lips again, stealing a few more kisses before lifting his head back up to address their current situation. "We have tonight..." was all he could say; he was unable to resist his urges to kiss her any longer and she seemed like she was losing all resistance she had pent up as well.

"Fine. No regrets?" She asked, gasping for breath, her voice a little shaky. "There's no going back from this you know?"

"And what of the others?"

"They don't need to know." Paine replied, and the two disappeared underneath the warmth of their blanket, lost beneath the moon's light that reflected off of the stream before them.

~X~

"Baralai!" a voice shouted out and he shot back to his senses, blinking his eyes quickly in an attempt to get the bearings he had lost along with the perfect stack of papers that now laid in equal messes on the floor beside both sides of his desk.

"I'm sorry." He muttered, taking in a huge breath and leaving his seat to pick up the papers. "I must have dosed off." Baralai looked to Andra, the source of the voice and frowned. "What are you doing here? It is quite late and you should not be roaming around Bevelle by yourself." As he rose to his seat the young woman put her arms around him, hugging him tightly.

"It is later than usual for even you, mister!" She said, releasing him from her hold and tapping her left wrist with her right hand. "I had to come and make sure you were all right. What is wrong with you anyway?" Andra added, a little concerned. "Ever since we left that bonfire two weeks ago you've been acting very strange to me." Eyes bluer than the ocean looked at Baralai with sudden fear in them. "Is it about our announcement? Are you having any regrets about it?" Her tone was low and sad as if her assumption were to be true if she spoke any louder.

Baralai smiled at the petite red headed woman, grabbing her hand in his. "Of course not! I was happy to announce our engagement! I guess I just get nostalgic whenever I see everybody." He lied, bringing her hand up to his mouth so he could kiss it. "Now why don't we go home before it gets so late I'm going to end up having to stay here anyway? Shall we?" Feeling like he dodged a bullet, the two made their way out of his office and through the now darkened corridors of the temple hand in hand.

As they walked on in silence, Baralai was taken back to that time on the Mi'ihen, but to the next morning when Nooj decided to turn traitor and shoot the three of them outside of Rin's shop. His breath caught in his chest remembering the searing pain through his side from the bullet and the uncertainty he felt concerning whether or not Paine and Gippal's wounds were as bad as or worse than his. He wouldn't find out about the guys until later on when he, Nooj and Gippal had already formed their respective groups. As for Paine- he didn't find out about her until she showed up with Rikku and Yuna in front of his temple. Baralai remembered how relieved he was to see her, but how hurt he was when she just blew him off. At that time it didn't matter anyway. He had already moved on, or at least he told himself he did by deciding to date Andra, the Chairman's daughter.